10/30/17
Today would be my father's 97th birthday, except he died at 68 in 1989.
I'm fine with that. I've been without him longer than he was in my life, but I do miss him from time to time.
I'm generally not happy with my life the way it is. I've failed at too many things and it's time to move on. Physically I'm moving to Virginia Beach in a few weeks. Emotionally I'm not moving fast enough for the world in which I live. I need the whirlwind of my life to stop. I need for things to be good, and I don't think they are or will be. It's time. As Aunt Mary used to say, pora. She was right. (Pora is Russian loosely translated means it's time.) she was referring to time to die. She was old. Older than I. Yet, I see how right she was. My tarot cards tell me great things are going to happen. I wish I could see it.
Something happened last night, as I was trying to sleep. I felt a change, a metaphysical change in me. It had a physical feel to it. Something changed enough to be noticeably different. I feel different. I'm not sure of all the potential changes that happened, but I feel it.