(Untitled)

[conro]

I miss determination.
I miss drive.
I miss goal setting.
I miss waking up with purpose.
I miss actually being happy.
I miss entertainment for it's face value and not as an escape.

It's getting harder and harder to be alone with myself and my thoughts.

Comments

[_maesterseymour]

I basically never update my lj anymore but this popped up on my feed on fb. I feel like I've been going through similar feelings lately but they've been getting better. Lmk if you wanna chat ever. J

[thad_duir]

When I got like this, I forced myself to do a cold reboot, for lack of a better term.

I quit cold turkey all the meds, all the bad habits, all the crappy stuff I was doing. I forced myself to take a half hour a day to write in my journal about whatever came to mind, it helped myself give myself council and even to today, those old entries help to keep me grounded when the dread of anxiety or depression rear their ugly heads. I started setting goals again, small goals I knew I would have to work for, but I was able to accomplish.

The very first one was "I will set a time to get up in the morning and come hell or high water, I will get up at that same time everyday even if I have to beat the shit out of myself to do it and I will make the bed." I found the simple task of making the bed after the victory of getting out of bed was like a line drawn in the sand. The bed was made, I can't climb back into it now.

Next goal, shower.

next goal, make a healthy breakfast

Next goal, get out of the house for some exercise. <-- this