(no subject)
Reassurance
ryan/spencer
a quick (and i mean 20 minutes quick), little something that came to me while doing homework and i just had to get out.
It’s only a quick, quiet kiss. Lips on chapped lips, hardly moving and more spontaneous than anything else. Spencer is so tense he’s on the verge of shaking. His fingers have trouble touching Ryan’s face; the tips burn when they hit Ryan’s jaw. He can’t- he can’t think right now, not with Ryan pulling away slightly, not with Ryan taking a long, shaky breath in. Spencer’s hands and eyes drop; Ryan’s chest slowly heaves up and expands as he holds the oxygen in his lungs. Spencer briefly wonders if Ryan is having trouble breathing too, but that’s only before he remembers what just happened. His eyes wander to the sky above Ryan’s head, then down to his face. It’s completely blank and almost lifeless.
But Spencer knows Ryan’s mind is starting to kick into gear; behind his eyes his cogs are starting to creak and move. His eyes close briefly when his lungs deflate, and then he stares straight at Spencer. Their childhood is playing in high-speed in those eyes, every single instance Ryan previously missed is now suddenly crystal clear. There’s a twinkle in Ryan’s eye though, a brief one Spencer just catches before he blinks, and it’s that realization. That twinkle, that spark, is a silent oh. But it’s not a positive twinkle, and it’s not a negative one either, it’s just there. It’s indifferent, like Ryan’s face. It’s indifferent, like Ryan’s body language. It’s indifferent, Spencer thinks with his own realization, like Ryan’s feelings towards him.
Head lolling to the side with disappointment, Spencer is about to give up, accept that maybe he’s just failed at being a good best friend without crossing the line, when Ryan’s chin lifts a little. There’s a twitch at the corner of his mouth, a sideways twitch that can’t be classified as a smile or a frown, but it’s something nonetheless. Spencer is able to relax, let his fingers and the tension building in his neck loosen. He lets his own mouth twitch up into a slight smile. The reassurance Ryan has given him, these minute little details and quirks Ryan offers to Spencer and Spencer only, let Spencer’s stomach keep his lunch down. Everything is going to be just fine.
ryan/spencer
a quick (and i mean 20 minutes quick), little something that came to me while doing homework and i just had to get out.
It’s only a quick, quiet kiss. Lips on chapped lips, hardly moving and more spontaneous than anything else. Spencer is so tense he’s on the verge of shaking. His fingers have trouble touching Ryan’s face; the tips burn when they hit Ryan’s jaw. He can’t- he can’t think right now, not with Ryan pulling away slightly, not with Ryan taking a long, shaky breath in. Spencer’s hands and eyes drop; Ryan’s chest slowly heaves up and expands as he holds the oxygen in his lungs. Spencer briefly wonders if Ryan is having trouble breathing too, but that’s only before he remembers what just happened. His eyes wander to the sky above Ryan’s head, then down to his face. It’s completely blank and almost lifeless.
But Spencer knows Ryan’s mind is starting to kick into gear; behind his eyes his cogs are starting to creak and move. His eyes close briefly when his lungs deflate, and then he stares straight at Spencer. Their childhood is playing in high-speed in those eyes, every single instance Ryan previously missed is now suddenly crystal clear. There’s a twinkle in Ryan’s eye though, a brief one Spencer just catches before he blinks, and it’s that realization. That twinkle, that spark, is a silent oh. But it’s not a positive twinkle, and it’s not a negative one either, it’s just there. It’s indifferent, like Ryan’s face. It’s indifferent, like Ryan’s body language. It’s indifferent, Spencer thinks with his own realization, like Ryan’s feelings towards him.
Head lolling to the side with disappointment, Spencer is about to give up, accept that maybe he’s just failed at being a good best friend without crossing the line, when Ryan’s chin lifts a little. There’s a twitch at the corner of his mouth, a sideways twitch that can’t be classified as a smile or a frown, but it’s something nonetheless. Spencer is able to relax, let his fingers and the tension building in his neck loosen. He lets his own mouth twitch up into a slight smile. The reassurance Ryan has given him, these minute little details and quirks Ryan offers to Spencer and Spencer only, let Spencer’s stomach keep his lunch down. Everything is going to be just fine.