Sunshine's Spirituality
A lot of influences to how she leads her life today comes from her parents. Even though they abandoned her at sixteen (well, her whole community did), she really doesn’t feel bitter towards them. She was for a while, but as an adult, she understood why it endangered her community to have her there.
Needless to say, Sunshine grew up on a lot of New Age and love. Magic wasn’t necessarily the focus of her home life as much as energy control. She was taught that in order to keep her mind and soul pure (and free from chaos), she had to keep her body pure as well. This forged in her mind an obvious link between the body and the soul: what you do to your body, in turn you are doing to your soul.
Her entire life, she’s had a crystal collection. While the commune was egalitarian and self-sufficient, what they had extra was brought into town and sold, so they could have luxuries. She believes that the sets of crystals she has takes evil energy from around her, so it cannot permeate her soul.
She does read Tarot, although not as often as when she was young. She has her mother’s deck, and only brings it out now when she finds herself at a serious road block.
Her attitude towards love has also greatly shaped her spirituality. Sunshine loves and reveres life in all its forms. This may seem contradictory - she’s an archangel and a cannibal. But Sunshine was raised with the idea that she could always express herself. She has the deepest respect for the Raks she kills, as well as the monsters she kills for sport. Sunshine knows that she must allow herself to vent her Calling, or worse things will happens. The monsters, she believes, she is putting out of their misery.
She doesn’t see herself as more important or better than the Raks she kills, and in many ways, considers them more sacred than herself. In respect to them, she does completely consume the entirety of what she can of them, and in that way, makes them a part of her. She believes that through the consumption of their flesh, she in turn becomes them, and holds their power. She also believes that their soul merges with hers; if the body is connected to the soul as strongly as she believes it does, it’s an obvious connection to make.
She also believes strongly in the spirit world, and finds herself experiencing it as strongly as she experiences her own world. A lot of this has to do with hallucination and perception. She has tactile, auditory, and visual hallucinations that she very much recognizes as either feelings of power, sounds of spirits, or viewing spirits themselves. She believes that she has hauntings. It is difficult to say what of this is brain damage, and what of it is, in fact, a connection to the Other.
While Sunshine does not believe in a specific set of Gods or in a specific God in general, she does believe in a power greater than herself. This is not an immortal power, but more of the idea that we find God within ourself, and how we make ourselves.
She sees herself as a work in progress. She sees herself as both angel and demon, both male and female, both pure and impure. She doesn’t like the black and white world that people try to paint around her, when she’s experienced so much more. (She does regularly take hallucinogens to experience “more.”) She believes that identity is very much what we make of it, and so it the world around us. She thinks that the relationships we have with ourselves and with others are the most important parts of our lives. She thinks that sex is a great way to express herself. She thinks that her body, while it doesn’t always fit herself, is what it is, and there’s no reason she shouldn’t enjoy it and modify it as she pleases. She believes there is more in herself than fits. She doesn’t believe in an afterlife that is a place, more that spirits imprint themselves on someone or something, and remain there until they fade. She believes in transience. She believes in kindness, but also believes in honesty.
In essence, Sunshine believes in respect: respect for other living beings, respect for yourself and your identity, and respect for those things greater than yourself.
need to add:
tattoos
blood
other stuff I forgot
masks
spiritual identity/fear of hauntings
sexuality
Needless to say, Sunshine grew up on a lot of New Age and love. Magic wasn’t necessarily the focus of her home life as much as energy control. She was taught that in order to keep her mind and soul pure (and free from chaos), she had to keep her body pure as well. This forged in her mind an obvious link between the body and the soul: what you do to your body, in turn you are doing to your soul.
Her entire life, she’s had a crystal collection. While the commune was egalitarian and self-sufficient, what they had extra was brought into town and sold, so they could have luxuries. She believes that the sets of crystals she has takes evil energy from around her, so it cannot permeate her soul.
She does read Tarot, although not as often as when she was young. She has her mother’s deck, and only brings it out now when she finds herself at a serious road block.
Her attitude towards love has also greatly shaped her spirituality. Sunshine loves and reveres life in all its forms. This may seem contradictory - she’s an archangel and a cannibal. But Sunshine was raised with the idea that she could always express herself. She has the deepest respect for the Raks she kills, as well as the monsters she kills for sport. Sunshine knows that she must allow herself to vent her Calling, or worse things will happens. The monsters, she believes, she is putting out of their misery.
She doesn’t see herself as more important or better than the Raks she kills, and in many ways, considers them more sacred than herself. In respect to them, she does completely consume the entirety of what she can of them, and in that way, makes them a part of her. She believes that through the consumption of their flesh, she in turn becomes them, and holds their power. She also believes that their soul merges with hers; if the body is connected to the soul as strongly as she believes it does, it’s an obvious connection to make.
She also believes strongly in the spirit world, and finds herself experiencing it as strongly as she experiences her own world. A lot of this has to do with hallucination and perception. She has tactile, auditory, and visual hallucinations that she very much recognizes as either feelings of power, sounds of spirits, or viewing spirits themselves. She believes that she has hauntings. It is difficult to say what of this is brain damage, and what of it is, in fact, a connection to the Other.
While Sunshine does not believe in a specific set of Gods or in a specific God in general, she does believe in a power greater than herself. This is not an immortal power, but more of the idea that we find God within ourself, and how we make ourselves.
She sees herself as a work in progress. She sees herself as both angel and demon, both male and female, both pure and impure. She doesn’t like the black and white world that people try to paint around her, when she’s experienced so much more. (She does regularly take hallucinogens to experience “more.”) She believes that identity is very much what we make of it, and so it the world around us. She thinks that the relationships we have with ourselves and with others are the most important parts of our lives. She thinks that sex is a great way to express herself. She thinks that her body, while it doesn’t always fit herself, is what it is, and there’s no reason she shouldn’t enjoy it and modify it as she pleases. She believes there is more in herself than fits. She doesn’t believe in an afterlife that is a place, more that spirits imprint themselves on someone or something, and remain there until they fade. She believes in transience. She believes in kindness, but also believes in honesty.
In essence, Sunshine believes in respect: respect for other living beings, respect for yourself and your identity, and respect for those things greater than yourself.
need to add:
tattoos
blood
other stuff I forgot
masks
spiritual identity/fear of hauntings
sexuality