Hot off the presses from Otakon 2009!
And now, I present to you, the greatest and most instructional convention report in the history of mankind! Beware, yon mortals, for said list is augmented by many pictures for the viewing pleasure of your eyeballs. Those still banging stones to make fire and using dial-up may wish to look away from the beaming pixelated glory.
1. Preregister. Or else.
2. Pack light. It's only for a weekend, guys. Unless you're cosplaying three separate outfits on all three days, and have a separate getup with slinky-esque dreadlocks and big fuzzy legwarmers and flaming glowing hula hoops for the rave, you shouldn't pack that much.
3. Take the bus. Trying to maneuver your car around Baltimore at all is a nightmare, especially if you don't remember which Sheraton your reservation is at.
4. Book hotel early. Communicate with others who are going so as not to create a multi-hotel fiasco when trying to hang out with them.
5. Don't leave late. Leave hella early.
6. Don't bring parents.
7. Preregister. No, really.
8. Don't trust Kristen to lead you to food. (Jon told me to add this one oh god please don't kill me I'm just the writer)
9. Play the word game and win so you get a free meal.
And then make someone wait on line in the food court to buy you said free meal. HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA. Bonus points if you want Thai food, which is the best thing starving Otakon attendees can purchase in the mall, and the longest line as a result.
10. "Saturday" is not misspelled "Friday."
I'm looking at you, Your Favorite Video Game Character Sucks 2: Electric Boogaloo. Every single person's schedule had this listed for Friday night at 12:30 -- I'm sorry, what? It's for Saturday night? Well fuck, it ends in "day," of course anyone could be confused! Psssh! Speaking of which:
11. IT'S ALWAYS WALUIGI TIME!!!!
12. Clown boobies lead to disaster. Even if there's a squealing girl exploding into small spraying bloody bits in giant she-clown's hand, you can't show obese clown tit because that's pornography and Anime's Craziest Deaths is not an 18+ panel. But you know, heads engorging and then exploding into fleeing streamers of brain from Fist of the North Star is all right. Just no clown boobs.
13. Judge the popularity of a panel by where it's being held. Always get there early, unless it's Anime's Pirate Legacy (which was One Piece For Dumbasses for all 3 minutes Jon and I were there). Even if it's a panel that starts at 9, because the popular ones are a bitch to get into once they start (BECAUSE NOBODY LEAVES). Gaia fans will come out for a Gaia panel at 9 on a Saturday morning. Steampunk fans will come out for a steampunk panel at 9 on a Sunday morning.
Oh look, it's some steampunk fans now.
Oh look, I'm really glad we got to see some gadgets up close.
Oh look, it's a MOTHERFUCKING STEAM SNIPER RIFLE. HOLY GOD STEAMPUNK IS AWESOOOOOMMMMME.
14. The floor shakes at the rave when everyone's jumping to the beat. Get over it.
15. "Marco Polo," The Game, over 9,000, and other 4chan bullshit stay on 4chan. Quit breaking the rules, and none of these are funny anymore. Also, /b/tards are weird.
16. People around Kage turn into ninjas and become hard to find.
...I'd post a ninjatastic picture of Kage here to demonstrate, but she's such a ninja that I couldn't get one. And even if I could, she might have eaten my camera clean out of my hands.
17. Carry your jacket, even if you're going to the rave. The air conditioning is on in every single room, and when you're sitting there watching some sweet sweet Baccano, you feel it.
18. Support small businesses and artists in the dealers' room - they need your money more than Funimation and Bandai do, I'm sure. Better yet, why not blow most of your money in the artists' alley on handmade cute things and art? Even if it's not your thing, little prints and handmade boxes / scarves / plushies make awesome gifts!
Plus, there are few things more satisfying than seeing art of your favorite fandom, and then buying it to geek up your room. I bought my third piece of Shadow of the Colossus art - from the same artist, no less. He's amazing. Recognize some talent. GIVE THEM YOUR MONEYS. This entry is in no way sponsored by any artist or anything, but it might be someday just in case Jon gets hopped up on some Red Bull and cranks out a spot in an artist alley someday.
19. Once again, preregister. A lot of people come to Otakon.
...This was taken in the early afternoon on Sunday. Yes, Sunday. YES, SUNDAY. And yes, that is some Digimon photoshoot down there.
20. Wear underwear. I would have snapped a picture of the pantiless Asuka bent over the registration desk, but I feared that my brand new camera would just commit suicide in my hands if I tried.
Basically, Otakon can be summed up in one picture:
It's perfect in how incongruous it is. I didn't take any pictures at all until Sunday - I just didn't feel like it. My mom was being strange and feeling underappreciated, so I felt like I'd fallen out of her good graces, and I felt like I didn't do a good job at clicking with the people I met. I spent a lot of time alone either at the rave or in the gaming room, or just wandering, trying to remember where I'd left my common sense.
So, Otakon this year was weird. But I learned a lot of valuable lessons that might not have come if things hadn't gone wrong.
I'm going again next year, of course. But next year I'm going on my own time, my own way. I'm making my own damn hotel room (probably), and taking the bus, and I won't be beholden to anyone who may decide to change their plans or be a burden on me. I learned that last part even before I left for the convention.