So I'm kinda messed up. Better learn to live with it. I kinda enjoy having my head go WOOOOOOW on me. But whilst I'm doing that people get hurt and I never even know before it's all said and done and I'd really like to be in control of things again. And what's with my HEART then? My head I understand, but how can I feel this way when everything's going wild and I'm feeling GOOD and yet I have this ITCH I can't seem to reach...
You know, I love the feelin when I don't know what's up and what's down. This one person told me to try and hang upsidedown on the rooftop, like a bat, and I seriously considered it, but my lags are getting a bit weak everytime I think of sensei, or anyone really. Mostly sensei though. There's nothing someone like me can do, is there? he's getting ready to fall too, though. Maybe I should go with him. I don't even care if he's going to hell or heaven like the angel he used to be, I promised I'd go with him wherever when we were kids. If I went on the roof and did the hanging thing, I'd definitely fall. But that might be nice too.
I really should stop smoking. I started it because someone said it takes the itch away, but it's only temporary and teeth are getting yellow and my breathe stinks. I'm quitting become I become a chainsmoker. Besides, I bet people want to kiss me more if I don't smoke. ^_~