Comments | coolukman: Bitches from 411...

coolukman

Bitches from 411...

Jun 07, 2006 23:34

So tell me if I'm an asshole or not ( Read more... )

Comments 70

profundis June 8 2006, 05:45:40 UTC

No, he is. If that was the actual chat log - then you were nothing but cordial and upfront (even if you were giving him the brush off, which is ok - you don't owe him a list of your fetishes). He went over the line by being rude to you.

coolukman June 8 2006, 05:48:35 UTC

Yeah, that's the actual chat log. He's just pissed that I don't want him, I guess. I have a really hard time telling men that I do not find them attractive. I prefer to use other words or letting the conversation die down so that we do not have to cross that bridge. It would kinda bum me out if someone said to me, "I do not find you attractive," even though there are tons of guys that do not. Argh, how did I get on this tangent?

I'm not worried about him being rude to me. People are rude every day. I just don't want to be one of them. ;)

mrsarcastic June 8 2006, 05:45:59 UTC

Hmm... I can see how he took "guys my size or smaller" in a negative way. Did you mean it to come out like that?

coolukman June 8 2006, 05:49:15 UTC

I didn't mean it to come out like an asshole, but I did want him to get the point. I didn't want him to think he had a shot. Otherwise he would have started flirting even more.

profundis June 8 2006, 05:58:20 UTC

Your answer was neutral - and he did ask for it. You didn't say "not you, you fat tub of lard" he just didnt like the fact that he didnt fit the criteria you gave. He might have thought you sounded shallow, but that still doesn't excuse his crudeness.

mrsarcastic June 8 2006, 06:12:01 UTC

I guess in the future you could also just say "I'm not interested in anything sexual... just being friendly" or something.

Thread 15

No your not an ass cptrandompants June 8 2006, 05:59:24 UTC

What most guys think when they are turned down is that oh you think I'm ugly or there is smoothing wrong with. In reality that is either the case or not. Like its his problem no yours. If someone ask you and you as no. They shouldn't take it that why they should take as in oh I;m not your type and move on. People are just to sensitive
-Andrew cub_

Re: No your not an ass coolukman June 8 2006, 06:01:08 UTC

Oh totally, I agree. I mean.... my likes are very specific at times... so very few men really do fall into that category and stuff. Thanks for the reply, Andrew ;)

akira96 June 8 2006, 06:27:54 UTC

Think you handled it fairly well and courteously (the guy's response was outta' line.) But, for possible future reference, you might want to be a bit direct up-front w/ guys that fall outside of your preference.

Otherwise, you're good. :)

coolukman June 8 2006, 06:42:03 UTC

I don't like to put things in my profiles like "fatties be gone" or shit like that.... haha. You know what I mean?

So if a guy messages me online and is all like "hey, nice pics." Should I say, "Thanks, but beware, I don't find you attractive." LOL

Sorry, I'm just being silly.

akira96 June 8 2006, 06:51:35 UTC

I know, I know. Having chatted w/ certain guys on Bear, its sometimes hard being both firm and subtle w/ guys you're not really attracted to.

Usually, I just tell a guy I'm not into that they're cool and all, but I that I like different things-- very open-ended.

traderbear June 8 2006, 11:01:08 UTC

Representing fatties everywhere...lol just kidding....you can tell a lot by the first round or two of messages on Bear 411. I try not to send just "Nice pics" on the first message, but it has been known to happen. You will either a) not hear anything back b) Get a Thanks or some variation or c) Thanks, you're hot too, let's get it on. I think far too many people mistake b) for interest when the guy is just trying to be courteous. I don't think you've done anything wrong with this guy.

Thread 5

OH, I LOVE ENTERTAINING PEOPLE LIKE THAT. tofer9 June 8 2006, 06:31:01 UTC

you're definately not an asshole. I know that for a fact first hand. I remember this guy messaging me some time ago...one right after the other, trying to get in my here pants. I told him I had a boyfriend. He was then shocked to hear me say that, like he didn't know...or rather, he was just looking at my fucking pictures instead of reading what I have to say...and as I love following up with...didn't you read my profile? (Dumbass!!!!!) He copped me an attitude afterward...I tried to be respectful about it and say its all good, but he would not stop with the damsel in distress, fuck you, attitude. I just don't have time for people like that, and I'm pretty sure don't either.

Re: OH, I LOVE ENTERTAINING PEOPLE LIKE THAT. coolukman June 8 2006, 06:44:36 UTC

HAH, Thanks Chris... Bear411 can be a fucked up place, I guess. I don't want to be all rude and delete the messages that people send me where I don't find the guy attractive, but I might have to resort to that.

Re: OH, I LOVE ENTERTAINING PEOPLE LIKE THAT. mrsarcastic June 8 2006, 06:50:57 UTC

Just tell them that you just wanna be friends - simple as that.

Re: OH, I LOVE ENTERTAINING PEOPLE LIKE THAT. coolukman June 8 2006, 07:00:10 UTC

But that's not true, either! I don't wanna be friends. Friendly is cool, but friends? haha... As if!