merlin
without watching the first 11 of this season (because i'm weird like that) i ended up watching the last two-parter
and fucking hell
i thought i was so done with this
i'm such a mess right now i don't even think i can type properly and my fingers are doing funny things and i've actually retyped this sentence five times to make it work
it was not perfect and yet more than i ever expected getting from this show. yes i'm still upset about morgana, never going to stop being upset about morgana, but gwen, wow! and just yes there is so much that i wish had come sooner but i just can't even bring myself to think properly because when it started playing out, every question, every word, they had my by the throat and played at my heart like a fiddle. i'm almost upset about it because they knew it was what everyone wanted from so long and dragged it to the very end and i think that here is the real tragedy of this show but then we got it after all so i can't even work past that just yet. just like i can't even start on the actual love story that was this episode without becoming more of a mess. let's just say that from the time merlin came back and told arthur, i had my hands covering my mouth and that did not change until after the end. i literally do not know where to start. i guess i just can't get over how i totally thought i was over the feelings part of this show and just how much i'm just sitting here laughing at myself at how wrong i was.
i do need to take a moment to just say, that ending! and by ending, i mean those last few fucking seconds when the truck drove by--is actually exactly how i wanted this show to end?? (well, getting to see the cast dolled up in modern day gear would be a bonus but) it basically screamed validation for all the possibilities in the future, and for them to have a (better) future, period.
i just kept thinking: you may have fucked a lot of shit up writers but thanks for making the possibility of all reincarnation/modern-day AUs a legit thing that could happen! and part of me thinks it's kind of like a hat-tip to fandom, like here is an open ending so that you all can GO FORTH AND WRITE THINGS BETTER THAN WE COULD.
and oh, you bet your ass we will :)
(and of course now i have fandom feelings and inspiration that i haven't felt for some years and at possibly the worst time)
and yep, this post is an incoherent mess but leave me alone. merlin just ended forever, what did you even expect from me??
but really, this show and fandom, all the good and the bad, i just, yeah, thanks for everything, you guys. i've met such a huge chunk of my flist through this and it became this gigantic part of my fandom life, bled into rl and a lot of places really that i can't even describe. it's been a wild unforgettable ride, and i don't regret it one bit. and apparently (it even blindsided me to realize) i am so far from being done with it just yet.
and fucking hell
i thought i was so done with this
i'm such a mess right now i don't even think i can type properly and my fingers are doing funny things and i've actually retyped this sentence five times to make it work
it was not perfect and yet more than i ever expected getting from this show. yes i'm still upset about morgana, never going to stop being upset about morgana, but gwen, wow! and just yes there is so much that i wish had come sooner but i just can't even bring myself to think properly because when it started playing out, every question, every word, they had my by the throat and played at my heart like a fiddle. i'm almost upset about it because they knew it was what everyone wanted from so long and dragged it to the very end and i think that here is the real tragedy of this show but then we got it after all so i can't even work past that just yet. just like i can't even start on the actual love story that was this episode without becoming more of a mess. let's just say that from the time merlin came back and told arthur, i had my hands covering my mouth and that did not change until after the end. i literally do not know where to start. i guess i just can't get over how i totally thought i was over the feelings part of this show and just how much i'm just sitting here laughing at myself at how wrong i was.
i do need to take a moment to just say, that ending! and by ending, i mean those last few fucking seconds when the truck drove by--is actually exactly how i wanted this show to end?? (well, getting to see the cast dolled up in modern day gear would be a bonus but) it basically screamed validation for all the possibilities in the future, and for them to have a (better) future, period.
i just kept thinking: you may have fucked a lot of shit up writers but thanks for making the possibility of all reincarnation/modern-day AUs a legit thing that could happen! and part of me thinks it's kind of like a hat-tip to fandom, like here is an open ending so that you all can GO FORTH AND WRITE THINGS BETTER THAN WE COULD.
and oh, you bet your ass we will :)
(and of course now i have fandom feelings and inspiration that i haven't felt for some years and at possibly the worst time)
and yep, this post is an incoherent mess but leave me alone. merlin just ended forever, what did you even expect from me??
but really, this show and fandom, all the good and the bad, i just, yeah, thanks for everything, you guys. i've met such a huge chunk of my flist through this and it became this gigantic part of my fandom life, bled into rl and a lot of places really that i can't even describe. it's been a wild unforgettable ride, and i don't regret it one bit. and apparently (it even blindsided me to realize) i am so far from being done with it just yet.