[drabble series] Workplace Woes
Title: Workplace Woes
Rating: PG
Summary: Sehun and Jongdae both have unfortunate run-ins with bats and poop at work.
Notes: Part of my university!AU drabble series.
“So,” Jongdae says, digging into his fried chicken, as Sehun looks at him queasily. “How’s work?”
“Blerghhh,” Sehun responds, looking a little green. “How are you eating that right now.”
Jongdae looks down at his plate, confused. “Er. Is there something wrong with chicken…?”
“It’s a BIRD.”
“OK when did you go all PETA.”
“Urgh. I’m not. I went to grab lunch at work the other day, and I had one of those frozen microwave meals sitting in the freezer, ya know? And so I reach in for it and I end up touching something squishy. And it was a DEAD BIRD CARCASS. IN THE FREEZER. LIKE SERAN WRAPPED WITH PLASTIC WRAP. BUT LIKE. I guess someone had left the freezer door ajar by accident, because it had like thawed out and gone all squishy. And then I look in, and there’s more! There were like bats and a salamander in there too arghhhh.”
“Ew what the fuck, WHY?”
“The biologists man. The biologists.”
“Curious,” says Jongdae, taking another gigantic bite of his chicken leg. Sehun dry heaves.
“Well, did I tell you about the poop story at work?” Jongdae asks, voice coming out muffled around his chicken.
“You are such a fatass. And no, what?”
“Yeah, some kid just squatted down, pulled down his pants, and took a giant shit in the back of the store. And the mom just kinda swept him out of there, didn’t scold him, or come up and apologize or let us know there is a fucking pile of shit in the back of store that someone may have to clean up…”
“Ew dude what the fuck?!”
“Yeah, some other customers saw it all happen and let us know. And we couldn’t just leave it there, it was right in front of Young Adult Fiction which is pretty popular section of the store, so it was up to yours truly to clean it up.”
“Ew what did you do with it, where did you put it?”
“I just kinda pushed it into a dustpan and left it in the back storage room until the mall janitors showed up to take it away. They were hella pissed.”
“I can’t even.”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you telling me this over food.”
“Whatever dude, you’re not eating anyway.”
//
“So,” Sehun says, looking into his mug curiously. “What’s this made of, again?”
“It’s tea, it’s healthy!” Jinki, his supervisor, replies. “The biologists were out in the field one day and found a fungus growing in the woods; apparently it’s like a superfood! Full of antioxidants and minerals.” Jinki points to something resembling a cross between an old rotting log and large hunk of tree bark sitting in a clear plastic bag on a shelf.
“Er…” says Sehun.
“We’ve made it before, it’s got a nice earthy tone to it with hints of vanilla almost, it’s quite tasty!” says Jinki with a grin, clinking his own mug against Sehun and taking a deep gulp. Sehun follows suite and promptly chokes into his cup.
“Oh,” says Jinki, looking suddenly pale. “It may have gone bad…it’s been sitting on that shelf for a year…”
“Unhhhh,” Sehun groans.
Rating: PG
Summary: Sehun and Jongdae both have unfortunate run-ins with bats and poop at work.
Notes: Part of my university!AU drabble series.
“So,” Jongdae says, digging into his fried chicken, as Sehun looks at him queasily. “How’s work?”
“Blerghhh,” Sehun responds, looking a little green. “How are you eating that right now.”
Jongdae looks down at his plate, confused. “Er. Is there something wrong with chicken…?”
“It’s a BIRD.”
“OK when did you go all PETA.”
“Urgh. I’m not. I went to grab lunch at work the other day, and I had one of those frozen microwave meals sitting in the freezer, ya know? And so I reach in for it and I end up touching something squishy. And it was a DEAD BIRD CARCASS. IN THE FREEZER. LIKE SERAN WRAPPED WITH PLASTIC WRAP. BUT LIKE. I guess someone had left the freezer door ajar by accident, because it had like thawed out and gone all squishy. And then I look in, and there’s more! There were like bats and a salamander in there too arghhhh.”
“Ew what the fuck, WHY?”
“The biologists man. The biologists.”
“Curious,” says Jongdae, taking another gigantic bite of his chicken leg. Sehun dry heaves.
“Well, did I tell you about the poop story at work?” Jongdae asks, voice coming out muffled around his chicken.
“You are such a fatass. And no, what?”
“Yeah, some kid just squatted down, pulled down his pants, and took a giant shit in the back of the store. And the mom just kinda swept him out of there, didn’t scold him, or come up and apologize or let us know there is a fucking pile of shit in the back of store that someone may have to clean up…”
“Ew dude what the fuck?!”
“Yeah, some other customers saw it all happen and let us know. And we couldn’t just leave it there, it was right in front of Young Adult Fiction which is pretty popular section of the store, so it was up to yours truly to clean it up.”
“Ew what did you do with it, where did you put it?”
“I just kinda pushed it into a dustpan and left it in the back storage room until the mall janitors showed up to take it away. They were hella pissed.”
“I can’t even.”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you telling me this over food.”
“Whatever dude, you’re not eating anyway.”
//
“So,” Sehun says, looking into his mug curiously. “What’s this made of, again?”
“It’s tea, it’s healthy!” Jinki, his supervisor, replies. “The biologists were out in the field one day and found a fungus growing in the woods; apparently it’s like a superfood! Full of antioxidants and minerals.” Jinki points to something resembling a cross between an old rotting log and large hunk of tree bark sitting in a clear plastic bag on a shelf.
“Er…” says Sehun.
“We’ve made it before, it’s got a nice earthy tone to it with hints of vanilla almost, it’s quite tasty!” says Jinki with a grin, clinking his own mug against Sehun and taking a deep gulp. Sehun follows suite and promptly chokes into his cup.
“Oh,” says Jinki, looking suddenly pale. “It may have gone bad…it’s been sitting on that shelf for a year…”
“Unhhhh,” Sehun groans.