so i went out walking. it was cold, but i didn't really mind. i stopped in the new "thrifty shopper" store because thrift stores are cool and indie, but i didn't really find anything there. then i went to tops. i was hoping to find some cocktail weenies. sometimes they have them all prepared in this barbecue sauce mixture and all you need to ( Read more... )

so i think i am going to new york soon to stay with amanda for a few days or so. i am pretty excited, as i've never been to new york and have never really traveled anywhere on my own. other than that, i am basically devoid of thought or feeling at the moment. sorry to bore you.

i just can't get past the fact that at some point i am going to die, and everything i have done will have been pointless. why work? why go to school? why get up in the morning? nothing matters. we all lose in the end. i wish i could just let go and try to be happy while i am here, but i find that the knowledge that i can't beat the system no ( Read more... )

i'm not feeling all that bad tonight. pretty decent actually. but i've noticed that whenever i realize i'm feeling ok, my mind just fills with bad thoughts. like "yeah, you're laughing now, but you're still home by yourself with no life and no future." i sabotage my good feelings, and i can't help it. i also wish i could develop an eating ( Read more... )

yesterday i thought i wanted to go to finland, but i don't now. now i'm thinking maybe scotland. and i don't want to do film anymore. i want to be an astronomer.

honestly though, i have no idea about anything.

goals i probably won't reach:

be famous
be a rock star
be an astronaut
play pro football
be an actor
buy general mills and return all the cereals to the way they were in 1985
not die
have a girl be in love with me
write a book
meet corey feldman
own a miniature golf course (or a chain of them)
really be happy

this list is not fun to look at

so i just got this livejournal because diaryland is pretty subpar. i never wrote much in it anyway. but i've realized lately that i have trouble remembering the things that happened to me just two days before. it's mostly because nothing exciting ever happens. oh well. i ought to just write everything down that i can...everything that happened ( Read more... )