making like Grace and ranting [that kinda sounded weird...]
Today was pretty good...
had my interview with U of R..it went relaly really well, so thats exciting. They seemed impressed with me and said that I should jsut keep up what ive got going now.
haha so this entry turned into a rant [oops] and im just gunna do what grace did and use a cut. its pointless, jsut to warn you.
*sigh* Everyone around me seems to be tlaking about colleges recently..and idk, i guess its kinda scaring me. Im not ready to decide what I want to do with my life, or where I want to go and spend 4 very important years of my life. Right now I just want to live in the present and not worry about things. whihc is another problem of mine...I worry too much about the smallest things. But i guess when youre dealt a lot of good things, the small bad things seem to take the forefront. I know Im supposed to put all my worries on God..I mean theres no point, because whatever Im worrying over is nothing compared to the big picture. and besides, im supposed to be going through whatever Im going through because its a part of Gods plan for me and eventually everything will turn out okay. [hopefully]. but even so, that doesnt change the fact that i analyze the small things. i guess i do because im usually right. whenever i have a gut feeling, or i think that im making too much out of somthing small...i was usually right from the start. *sigh* which sucks cuz then even though i have that gut feeling..im not prepared for it to be true when it actually is. im not sure if any of this makes sense, and i dont even care cuz im ranting jsut to get everything out.
new paragraph. that was too long.
so anyway..i need to be happy with the things that i have, which is soo much. I have awesome friends that i knwo are always there for me, and a family thats getting stronger, a faith thats also getting stronger, and jsut so many little things that other people never have. i guess its jsut human nature to want everything, or anything that someone else has. and ive gotten better, i know i have, but theres always room for improvement.
anywho..so Grace will be 17 on Friday...thats so weird ahah. but i knwo what im getting her for both her birthday and christmas, so i jsut hope she likes them. man time goes by so fast. then again it feels slow. like i met grace [meaning when i started talking to her] about a year ago, and became her best friend less than that...but it feels like we've been sbff'ers for so long..years. whihc i think is comforting, i eman this rarely happens. you can quickly get a friend, but it usually never lasts long. with us, i know its different. and its relaly great, to be so sure that you can trust someone with anything. heh ive had so many friendships that start and end so quickly..and each of them teach you somthing different, but nonetheless its not fun when it happens. i guess im so open, and when i share a part of myself with other people i dont think that they can later use it against me. which idk if i should or not...i like being open and its jsut how i am, which helped in some of the friendships i have now. so i guess its jsut a risk you have to take. either way.
*sigh* i dotn feel good. my stomach hurts and i feel nauceous woah i forgot how to spell that. heh whatever, most of you have stopped reading by now. which i dont blame..im talkigna bout the randomest things and if you read grace's entry then im sure youre sick of reading rantings. ahha
this year..idk...its been eventful. Ive met tons of people, and i know that some of them will be in my life for a long time. Last ngiht got me thinking about things. like how eventually Christoph is going to be one of those people that you send a christmas card to every year, but never relaly talk to. and idk..that really sucks and it was werid thinking that when he was right there cuz....well he was right there, and in that moment we were talking and being the friends we are..and its weird to think that in a few months time i wont be able to do that. ill have to wait til summer '07 to next see him and after that..it could be years. similar with Marion..after April its possible ill never see her again. and i mean its technically not the same, cuz we didnt get as close and she was only here for 2 weeks..but still, its weird to think what the future will hold. id hope that wed keep in touch, which goes for christoph and i as well, but who really knows. i guess theres no point in guaranteeing anything..cuz we dont really have the power to do that. only God relaly does..hes the only one that could actually know.
its scary when it comes down to it. i mean atleast i know that whatever happens, happens for a reason and God will evertually show me his purpose. but it doesnt change the fact that for the time being...it sucks. to not know what will or could happen, just that whatever youre going through is bad and you have to wait for God to reveal his lesson. Im just glad I have him in my life..cuz i know without him my life would not only have no purpose, but id prolyl be a completely different person with not as much hope or optomism.
guys frustrate me. a lot. i go in patterns ive realized. theres usually a time when i really like a guy, and he'll like me too, and it jsut goes *makes fart noise with mouth* dead. i suppose its my fault..though ive yet to realize why. i mean if it keeps happening..the only thing in common is me each time. idk..its weird when youre going through two situations at once..hmm maybe three actually..and you cant balance them. i guess my problem isnt balancing..but choosing which one is the best [which could be the worst at the same time] idk..i hate thinking about it jsut cuz i hate knowing that im thinking about it. im not one of those clingy girls [if i ever am, please slap me] and jsut thinking about someone a lot makes me nervous that theyre not thinking of me. i guess thats why i kill it. heh
anyway..this is CRAZY long..maybe even longer than Grace's rant...wooow...haha so ill stop it now. if any of you [other than grace, i know shell read it all ahha] read all of this..wow..you must be really bored. hah
phew..that was relieving to get out. gaha.
<3 Cori :)
had my interview with U of R..it went relaly really well, so thats exciting. They seemed impressed with me and said that I should jsut keep up what ive got going now.
haha so this entry turned into a rant [oops] and im just gunna do what grace did and use a cut. its pointless, jsut to warn you.
*sigh* Everyone around me seems to be tlaking about colleges recently..and idk, i guess its kinda scaring me. Im not ready to decide what I want to do with my life, or where I want to go and spend 4 very important years of my life. Right now I just want to live in the present and not worry about things. whihc is another problem of mine...I worry too much about the smallest things. But i guess when youre dealt a lot of good things, the small bad things seem to take the forefront. I know Im supposed to put all my worries on God..I mean theres no point, because whatever Im worrying over is nothing compared to the big picture. and besides, im supposed to be going through whatever Im going through because its a part of Gods plan for me and eventually everything will turn out okay. [hopefully]. but even so, that doesnt change the fact that i analyze the small things. i guess i do because im usually right. whenever i have a gut feeling, or i think that im making too much out of somthing small...i was usually right from the start. *sigh* which sucks cuz then even though i have that gut feeling..im not prepared for it to be true when it actually is. im not sure if any of this makes sense, and i dont even care cuz im ranting jsut to get everything out.
new paragraph. that was too long.
so anyway..i need to be happy with the things that i have, which is soo much. I have awesome friends that i knwo are always there for me, and a family thats getting stronger, a faith thats also getting stronger, and jsut so many little things that other people never have. i guess its jsut human nature to want everything, or anything that someone else has. and ive gotten better, i know i have, but theres always room for improvement.
anywho..so Grace will be 17 on Friday...thats so weird ahah. but i knwo what im getting her for both her birthday and christmas, so i jsut hope she likes them. man time goes by so fast. then again it feels slow. like i met grace [meaning when i started talking to her] about a year ago, and became her best friend less than that...but it feels like we've been sbff'ers for so long..years. whihc i think is comforting, i eman this rarely happens. you can quickly get a friend, but it usually never lasts long. with us, i know its different. and its relaly great, to be so sure that you can trust someone with anything. heh ive had so many friendships that start and end so quickly..and each of them teach you somthing different, but nonetheless its not fun when it happens. i guess im so open, and when i share a part of myself with other people i dont think that they can later use it against me. which idk if i should or not...i like being open and its jsut how i am, which helped in some of the friendships i have now. so i guess its jsut a risk you have to take. either way.
*sigh* i dotn feel good. my stomach hurts and i feel nauceous woah i forgot how to spell that. heh whatever, most of you have stopped reading by now. which i dont blame..im talkigna bout the randomest things and if you read grace's entry then im sure youre sick of reading rantings. ahha
this year..idk...its been eventful. Ive met tons of people, and i know that some of them will be in my life for a long time. Last ngiht got me thinking about things. like how eventually Christoph is going to be one of those people that you send a christmas card to every year, but never relaly talk to. and idk..that really sucks and it was werid thinking that when he was right there cuz....well he was right there, and in that moment we were talking and being the friends we are..and its weird to think that in a few months time i wont be able to do that. ill have to wait til summer '07 to next see him and after that..it could be years. similar with Marion..after April its possible ill never see her again. and i mean its technically not the same, cuz we didnt get as close and she was only here for 2 weeks..but still, its weird to think what the future will hold. id hope that wed keep in touch, which goes for christoph and i as well, but who really knows. i guess theres no point in guaranteeing anything..cuz we dont really have the power to do that. only God relaly does..hes the only one that could actually know.
its scary when it comes down to it. i mean atleast i know that whatever happens, happens for a reason and God will evertually show me his purpose. but it doesnt change the fact that for the time being...it sucks. to not know what will or could happen, just that whatever youre going through is bad and you have to wait for God to reveal his lesson. Im just glad I have him in my life..cuz i know without him my life would not only have no purpose, but id prolyl be a completely different person with not as much hope or optomism.
guys frustrate me. a lot. i go in patterns ive realized. theres usually a time when i really like a guy, and he'll like me too, and it jsut goes *makes fart noise with mouth* dead. i suppose its my fault..though ive yet to realize why. i mean if it keeps happening..the only thing in common is me each time. idk..its weird when youre going through two situations at once..hmm maybe three actually..and you cant balance them. i guess my problem isnt balancing..but choosing which one is the best [which could be the worst at the same time] idk..i hate thinking about it jsut cuz i hate knowing that im thinking about it. im not one of those clingy girls [if i ever am, please slap me] and jsut thinking about someone a lot makes me nervous that theyre not thinking of me. i guess thats why i kill it. heh
anyway..this is CRAZY long..maybe even longer than Grace's rant...wooow...haha so ill stop it now. if any of you [other than grace, i know shell read it all ahha] read all of this..wow..you must be really bored. hah
phew..that was relieving to get out. gaha.
<3 Cori :)