Prompts #30 & #37
030. Perhaps => Cao Pi/Zhao Yun
Once this is all over…
Once our hands were clasped together beneath the full moon.
Once we were bound by the thread of fate.
However, that thread was ever so fragile. Stretched by not only by time but also by distance and faction.
Do you know how much I wish at this moment that I wasn’t the Crown Prince of Wei and you weren’t one of the Five Tiger Generals of Shu?
Then perhaps, our story would have been filled with a lot less pain and betrayal.
I stare across the battlefield at you. You’re as calm as always. I’ve always thought that you’ve always looked more the part of a lord than that pathetic Liu Bei. And you’ve never looked more regal than at this very moment, sitting straight on top of your brilliantly white steed, the forest green banner of Shu against your back.
Something aches inside my chest and I clench a fist over it.
If it hurts so much to have let you go, would it have been better to not have loved in the first place?
A bitter smile twists my lips upwards. It’s ironic how far I’ve fallen, to sit here on a battlefield and reminisce about the past, to wish for things to be different.
I, Cao Pi, Cao Zihuan, who once wanted nothing more than to surpass my father and complete his legacy of uniting China, is now prey to these baseless emotions that are associated with you.
You turn your head my way, eyes meeting mine across that distance. Is it an illusion or do I see my pain echoed in your eyes?
But in the end, you and I weren’t meant to be.
My generals bow their heads to me as I issue my final commands, “Leave none alive.” I can see the identical order being passed to you.
And in the end, you were right like you always are.
Our armies face each other under the blistering mid-day heat. The horses stir restlessly, kicking up small clouds of dust with every shift of their hooves. This is only the calm before the storm.
I’m nothing more than a liar.
The wide swing from Liu Bei signals the start of your charge. Beside me, my generals order our cavalry to begin their advance. I kick my steed into a canter, sword to one side and head directly towards you.
That promise I made to you underneath the stars that night…
You seem to have anticipated it, deflecting my strike with your spear. And suddenly, it’s as if it’s our first meeting all over again. The sound of steel on steel bringing back more memories that I don’t want, that I never wanted.
It will never come true.
I’m close enough to reach out and touch your face, like I have many times before. But the arrow that whistles past my cheek, grazing it, reminds me that this isn’t the time or place for sentimentality.
But…
Suddenly, you pull back and it’s like the world ceases to exist around us. I wasn’t mistaken; I can see the pain in your eyes and the troubled way you’re biting on your lower lip. I have an overwhelming urge to reach out and smooth away the furrow between your brows, to hold you and tell you that everything will be ok.
I still don’t want to go back on my word, if only because of you.
But it won’t be. The battle continues to rage around us, drawing us into its vortex. You and I both know that today signals the end. And so, as I swing out my sword and you ready your spear again, there is nothing left in our hearts but the need for victory.
So, come find me in our next life.
A thrust. A flash of silver. A splash of red. A thud of something heavy hitting the ground. A single tear that slides down a cheek.
I’ll fulfil it then.
The fragile thread of fate that bound us together once upon a time is finally broken.
Once this is all over, we’ll leave this place and go somewhere far away.
A place where no one knows of us.
A place where we can be together forever.
Prompt: #37 => The way I see it
Character/Pairing(s): Cao Pi/Zhao Yun
Rating: K
Warnings (if any): Angst. Character death.
037. The way I see it => Pi/Yun
Once this is all over…
Once we sat in silence under a full moon, drinking together.
Once we were tied together by the thread of destiny.
Destined to meet.
Destined to clash.
Destined to remain apart.
We were once enemies. We still are enemies. When did I start to feel something for you that wasn’t hatred?
Do you know how many times I’ve closed my eyes and wished that I wasn’t Zilong, general to Liu Bei and you weren’t Zihuan, heir to Cao Cao?
But that’s all it could ever be, wishes.
I watch you from across the battlefield. That recognizable smirk is spread across your features. Perhaps I am the only one who can see the pain that lurks behind that expression. The blue of Cao Wei is as familiar to me as the green of Shu Han. Your confident expression doesn’t abate as you sit relaxed on top of your mighty black steed, your standard dancing in the breeze behind you.
A hollow thump echoes in my chest. Ah, so there isn’t anything left inside after all.
If I had known from that start that this was to be the ending, would I still have taken that hand you offered that day?
I close my eyes and breathe in the warm midday air. It seems like everything’s spiralled out of my control since I met you. Before you, I, Zhao Yun, Zhao Zilong, only wished to serve a Lord who would unify the land and bring about peace and prosperity for the people. But after meeting you, what I wanted changed.
You look in my direction and I want to look away, but your eyes draw me in. Perhaps I can see a hint of that emptiness echoing inside of you as well. Or maybe, it’s just a baseless wish of mine.
But in the end, the only thing I can do is wish.
Lord Liu Bei passes down the command, “Take no hostages; kill them all.” I bow my head, I can only obey. And somehow, I know that you issue exactly the same order to your generals.
And in the end, I was taken in by your pretty words, your promises.
My mount stirs quietly beneath me, shifting his hooves restlessly. The men at the front of the formation in contrast are so still it looks like they’re carved from stone, faces unmoving even underneath the harsh beating of the sun.
You’re nothing more than a liar.
My lord points his sword forward, signalling our attack. I kick my mount forward, urging him towards the centre, hoping to gain an early advantage. A sudden flash of blue at the edge of my vision makes me look up.
But I still believed every word…
Somewhere deep inside, I knew that you would come for me. I duck your first swing, my spear thrusting towards you at the same time. You block effortlessly and we’re suddenly in exactly the same position as the day I first crossed my spear with your swords.
I believed that you would fulfil them one day.
We’re close enough that I can reach out to wipe away that trickle of blood on your cheek. But I don’t because this is a battlefield and we’re enemies so I draw back instead, giving myself time to regroup my scattered thoughts. We always were opposites, on opposite sides. I think we just forgot.
And now…
How could we have forgotten? Look at the price of our wilfulness. Today, only one of us will return home. As you strike with your swords, I swing my spear to block, neither of us giving an inch. Our empty emotions are transcended by the need to win.
You owe me since that day will never come.
On some level, I hope that it will be me who will not leave this battlefield. It’s probably the most selfish desire that I’ve ever had. But I do not think I could continue on in a place without your presence. Look at me. How far have I fallen since I met you?
So, come find me in our next life.
A quick thrust. A parry. An opening. A strike. A splatter of red. A shadow dropping to the ground. A silent goodbye.
I expect to be repaid then.
In the end, we were destined to meet and clash, then finally part ways here.
Once this is all over, we’ll leave this place and go somewhere far away.
A place where no one knows of us.
A place where we can be together forever.