(no subject)
Title: I Swear You'll Never Know
Paring: GRi(JiyongxSeungri)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, angst
Word count: 1653
SummaryThis was just a way to get off without feelings getting hurt or reputations getting ruined.
"This is just-" Jiyong claims Seungri's mouth as he speaks. Seungri breaks them apart again and continues, "-just friends with benefits right?" Jiyong half answers with another kiss, the other half is a breathy "yes" against Seungri's lips before pushing him down into the bed.
______
Seungri is sleeping when Jiyong wakes him up with wet, sloppy kisses against the back of his neck.
"Hyung, what-"
"I need you, Ri," Jiyong whispers hotly into Seungri's ear. And even though Seungri is pretty sure Jiyong has had a bit too much to drink by the way his voice slurs, he can't say no.
_______
Seungri corners Jiyong on the rooftop where he smokes during a practice break. He saunters over and grabs Jiyong through his sweatpants. Jiyong inhales his cigarette deeply one last time before stubbing it out on the ledge and diving into Seungri, mouth first.
_______
No one notices, and if they do, they don't say anything. And if they did, Seungri would tell them off. Tell them that they don't understand. Tell them that being an idol is hard, and being an idol with a girlfriend is even harder. This was just a way to get off without feelings getting hurt or reputations getting ruined.
In a way, Jiyong and him using each other for mutual release helps everyone. Jiyong hasn't been smoking as much as a result, leading him to be more involved with his work and compose more songs. And Seungri was able to concentrate more on honing his dance moves without being so stressed about not getting it right the first time.
They're doing so well that all of Big Bang's energy is up. So well that YG decides for them to promote in Japan with one of the many new songs that Jiyong has created. Seungri is excited partly because a Japanese song means more lines for him, but mostly because he knows he and Jiyong will be sharing an apartment again.
But Seungri doesn't know everything.
They had agreed from the beginning that they could use each other whenever, where ever, but one day when Seungri initiates during some down time at their apartment, Jiyong slinks away.
"I have a girlfriend now."
There's an initial shock, mostly to do with Jiyong not telling him this earlier. The other reason he couldn't really place.
"Since when?" Seungri asks dumbly while backing off.
"Hmm... about a week." Jiyong shrugs, not really committed to his answer. Seungri scoffs.
"We've had plenty of sex in the past week, hyung. Did you just now decide it was serious with this girl?" Seungri began to get angry. The thought of being Jiyong's "side dish" actually bothered him, despite knowing what they had.
"Yeah, I did," Jiyong says as he gets up from the couch and heads to his room.
Seungri remains in the living room and tries not to let it get him too angry.
So he lost his sex pal.
So what.
_______
"I miss you too!" Jiyong says with a smile into the receiver. Seungri holds back his gagging as he sits in the back of the van.
They were heading to some other variety show or music program to promote their new Japanese single. Seungri tries to focus on honing his Japanese skills more so than Jiyong fawning over his girlfriend through his cell phone.
They were probably going to ask questions about the new single, so Seungri was going through practice questions in his mind. Now, what was the word for "difficult"? He knew it; it was on the tip of his tongue, mu-something.
"Ah, don't say that!" Jiyong laughs as he slaps his hand over his face much like he does when he's embarrassed or really elated. Seungri, momentarily distracted, smiles because it's cute and sometimes Jiyong would do it after Seungri would do something really ridiculous when they had been together.
Except they had never been "together" Seungri reminds himself.
Seungri quickly pushes those thoughts aside and reaches into his bag for his Japanese to Korean dictionary.
________
Seungri soon learns that Jiyong is always constantly talking to his girlfriend.
The apartment they share in Japan is constantly filled with Jiyong's voice. His giggles, his sighs, his affections. His voice fills every room of the already tiny apartment and Seungri feels like he's suffocating. Seungri eventually picks up a shopping habit and an eating-out habit just to get away from Jiyong's voice. Seungri even goes shopping with Seunghyun hyung for the ridiculous toys he always collects, because despite how much he complains about the stupid things his hyung buys, it's still better than listening to Jiyong talk throughout the day and night.
________
There's one night where Seungri had decided to hang out with Youngbae and Daesung in their apartment while Jiyong continued to stay glued to his phone.
He returns later than expected. When he enters the apartment he's surprised to find the lights still on. But he's even more surprised to see Jiyong sleeping on the couch. Jiyong groans and turns a bit in his sleep at the sound the door makes, but does not fully wake up.
Seungri lets out a small laugh. Not even the biggest of earthquakes or the most annoying sounds could wake up Jiyong. When he slept, he slept.
He walks over to Jiyong and briefly wonders why Jiyong had chosen the couch over his own room but then notices his laptop and notebook were on the table. And despite how annoying Jiyong has been to him lately, he decides to be a good dongsaeng and goes to get a blanket from Jiyong's room.
Seungri thinks about how mad Jiyong will be when he finds out that Seungri had messed up his made up bed. Seungri smiles at the thought. Jiyong's neat-freak side was a little cute despite how much he could bitch about the smallest of things.
Seungri adjusts the blanket around Jiyong. He tucks in the corners to make sure Jiyong stays warm. When he's done, he moves to leave but pauses to look at Jiyong's sleeping face. Jiyong's looked almost peaceful and a little beautiful. He memorizes the way Jiyong's small breaths puff his cheeks slightly, how his hair falls over his face, dulling his sharp features. He stands there, practically marvels in Jiyong's presence then stops.
What was he doing?
Seungri shakes his head, turns off the lights, and retires to his own room.
_______
One day, Seungri notices how Jiyong doesn't use his phone, not even once.
Not when he wakes up, not on the way to the television studio, not on the way back. Not during any time of the day.
Seungri immediately suspects that Jiyong and his girlfriend have broken up, which is great news. He won't have to listen to Jiyong's stupid voice all night, or spend all his money as an excuse to get out of the apartment, and best of all, he might actually get his sex buddy back--which he admitted he was the most excited about.
Seungri brings the subject up in the evening.
"How's your girlfriend?" Seungri asks nonchalantly from the couch while Jiyong fiddles around in the kitchen.
"We broke up."
"Oh." Seungri sounds disappointed for Jiyong, yet, mentally celebrates.
"Yeah."
An awkward silence fills the room before Jiyong leaves the small kitchen with nothing more than a glass of water. He sets it on the table as he sits next to Seungri. Minutes pass as they watch TV in silence. Seungri watching some random drama to try and understand a bit more Japanese. He knows that Jiyong can't understand a word.
Seungri is about to ask Jiyong if he wanted to watch something else, but is distracted when Jiyong curls into his side, drapes an arm over his stomach, and sighs. Seungri hesitates before wrapping an arm around Jiyong's shoulders. Jiyong sighs again, but it sounds distraught.
"You wanna talk about it, hyung?" Seungri offers. Jiyong doesn't answer right away. Seungri can tell he wants to say something by the way his mouth opens and closes a few times and by the way he fidgets around.
"I.... never had a girlfriend, Seungri."
Seungri nearly pushes him off the couch.
"You what?" Seungri turns to him and feels his anger bubbling up. Jiyong doesn't meet his eyes.
"There was a girl, but, we were just friends. We only ever met once. I think I was just trying to distract myself with her," Jiyong admits.
"Hyung, I don't understand--"
"Seungri, I like you. I've always liked you," Jiyong says flatly, cutting duly into the tense atmosphere. Jiyong tries to hold it in, tries to keep a straight face, but he can't. Jiyong lets out a choked sob before pulling himself away from Seungri and bursting into tears. Seungri's mind blanks; he doesn't know what to do. He's thrown completely off track.
"You--what--how." Seungri stumbles through his words. Jiyong only cries silently in return.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Jiyong says silently, and Seungri focuses back on Jiyong for a second. He wants to comfort him. He wants to make his tears stop. He wants to apologize for avoiding him. He wants to tell him that he likes him too--
Seungri panics.
"Hyung, what are we going to do? Oh god, hyung, Jiyong hyung." Seungri repeats over and over, but gets no response. Jiyong doesn't face him. He just shakes his head.
"I don't know, this wasn't supposed to happen! I can't--we can't. Seungri, we can't," Jiyong cries and it hurts Seungri. It hurts to know that it could never work, even if he wasn't afraid.
______
Eventually they all return to Korea. Jiyong and Seungri each throwing themselves back into their work. Trying hard to produce albums before their deadlines.
Jiyong pretends it doesn't sting when he catches Seungri's gaze from across the room.
Seungri pretends he never looked at Jiyong in the first place.
this was done for gdkissri for oxygenlove. I just.. don't even really know if this is believable. lol I'm not good at angst and I didn't get it beta'd in time for the contest so yeah, posting stuff unbeta'd for forever. comments are loved and critique is accepted as always~
Paring: GRi(JiyongxSeungri)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, angst
Word count: 1653
SummaryThis was just a way to get off without feelings getting hurt or reputations getting ruined.
"This is just-" Jiyong claims Seungri's mouth as he speaks. Seungri breaks them apart again and continues, "-just friends with benefits right?" Jiyong half answers with another kiss, the other half is a breathy "yes" against Seungri's lips before pushing him down into the bed.
______
Seungri is sleeping when Jiyong wakes him up with wet, sloppy kisses against the back of his neck.
"Hyung, what-"
"I need you, Ri," Jiyong whispers hotly into Seungri's ear. And even though Seungri is pretty sure Jiyong has had a bit too much to drink by the way his voice slurs, he can't say no.
_______
Seungri corners Jiyong on the rooftop where he smokes during a practice break. He saunters over and grabs Jiyong through his sweatpants. Jiyong inhales his cigarette deeply one last time before stubbing it out on the ledge and diving into Seungri, mouth first.
_______
No one notices, and if they do, they don't say anything. And if they did, Seungri would tell them off. Tell them that they don't understand. Tell them that being an idol is hard, and being an idol with a girlfriend is even harder. This was just a way to get off without feelings getting hurt or reputations getting ruined.
In a way, Jiyong and him using each other for mutual release helps everyone. Jiyong hasn't been smoking as much as a result, leading him to be more involved with his work and compose more songs. And Seungri was able to concentrate more on honing his dance moves without being so stressed about not getting it right the first time.
They're doing so well that all of Big Bang's energy is up. So well that YG decides for them to promote in Japan with one of the many new songs that Jiyong has created. Seungri is excited partly because a Japanese song means more lines for him, but mostly because he knows he and Jiyong will be sharing an apartment again.
But Seungri doesn't know everything.
They had agreed from the beginning that they could use each other whenever, where ever, but one day when Seungri initiates during some down time at their apartment, Jiyong slinks away.
"I have a girlfriend now."
There's an initial shock, mostly to do with Jiyong not telling him this earlier. The other reason he couldn't really place.
"Since when?" Seungri asks dumbly while backing off.
"Hmm... about a week." Jiyong shrugs, not really committed to his answer. Seungri scoffs.
"We've had plenty of sex in the past week, hyung. Did you just now decide it was serious with this girl?" Seungri began to get angry. The thought of being Jiyong's "side dish" actually bothered him, despite knowing what they had.
"Yeah, I did," Jiyong says as he gets up from the couch and heads to his room.
Seungri remains in the living room and tries not to let it get him too angry.
So he lost his sex pal.
So what.
_______
"I miss you too!" Jiyong says with a smile into the receiver. Seungri holds back his gagging as he sits in the back of the van.
They were heading to some other variety show or music program to promote their new Japanese single. Seungri tries to focus on honing his Japanese skills more so than Jiyong fawning over his girlfriend through his cell phone.
They were probably going to ask questions about the new single, so Seungri was going through practice questions in his mind. Now, what was the word for "difficult"? He knew it; it was on the tip of his tongue, mu-something.
"Ah, don't say that!" Jiyong laughs as he slaps his hand over his face much like he does when he's embarrassed or really elated. Seungri, momentarily distracted, smiles because it's cute and sometimes Jiyong would do it after Seungri would do something really ridiculous when they had been together.
Except they had never been "together" Seungri reminds himself.
Seungri quickly pushes those thoughts aside and reaches into his bag for his Japanese to Korean dictionary.
________
Seungri soon learns that Jiyong is always constantly talking to his girlfriend.
The apartment they share in Japan is constantly filled with Jiyong's voice. His giggles, his sighs, his affections. His voice fills every room of the already tiny apartment and Seungri feels like he's suffocating. Seungri eventually picks up a shopping habit and an eating-out habit just to get away from Jiyong's voice. Seungri even goes shopping with Seunghyun hyung for the ridiculous toys he always collects, because despite how much he complains about the stupid things his hyung buys, it's still better than listening to Jiyong talk throughout the day and night.
________
There's one night where Seungri had decided to hang out with Youngbae and Daesung in their apartment while Jiyong continued to stay glued to his phone.
He returns later than expected. When he enters the apartment he's surprised to find the lights still on. But he's even more surprised to see Jiyong sleeping on the couch. Jiyong groans and turns a bit in his sleep at the sound the door makes, but does not fully wake up.
Seungri lets out a small laugh. Not even the biggest of earthquakes or the most annoying sounds could wake up Jiyong. When he slept, he slept.
He walks over to Jiyong and briefly wonders why Jiyong had chosen the couch over his own room but then notices his laptop and notebook were on the table. And despite how annoying Jiyong has been to him lately, he decides to be a good dongsaeng and goes to get a blanket from Jiyong's room.
Seungri thinks about how mad Jiyong will be when he finds out that Seungri had messed up his made up bed. Seungri smiles at the thought. Jiyong's neat-freak side was a little cute despite how much he could bitch about the smallest of things.
Seungri adjusts the blanket around Jiyong. He tucks in the corners to make sure Jiyong stays warm. When he's done, he moves to leave but pauses to look at Jiyong's sleeping face. Jiyong's looked almost peaceful and a little beautiful. He memorizes the way Jiyong's small breaths puff his cheeks slightly, how his hair falls over his face, dulling his sharp features. He stands there, practically marvels in Jiyong's presence then stops.
What was he doing?
Seungri shakes his head, turns off the lights, and retires to his own room.
_______
One day, Seungri notices how Jiyong doesn't use his phone, not even once.
Not when he wakes up, not on the way to the television studio, not on the way back. Not during any time of the day.
Seungri immediately suspects that Jiyong and his girlfriend have broken up, which is great news. He won't have to listen to Jiyong's stupid voice all night, or spend all his money as an excuse to get out of the apartment, and best of all, he might actually get his sex buddy back--which he admitted he was the most excited about.
Seungri brings the subject up in the evening.
"How's your girlfriend?" Seungri asks nonchalantly from the couch while Jiyong fiddles around in the kitchen.
"We broke up."
"Oh." Seungri sounds disappointed for Jiyong, yet, mentally celebrates.
"Yeah."
An awkward silence fills the room before Jiyong leaves the small kitchen with nothing more than a glass of water. He sets it on the table as he sits next to Seungri. Minutes pass as they watch TV in silence. Seungri watching some random drama to try and understand a bit more Japanese. He knows that Jiyong can't understand a word.
Seungri is about to ask Jiyong if he wanted to watch something else, but is distracted when Jiyong curls into his side, drapes an arm over his stomach, and sighs. Seungri hesitates before wrapping an arm around Jiyong's shoulders. Jiyong sighs again, but it sounds distraught.
"You wanna talk about it, hyung?" Seungri offers. Jiyong doesn't answer right away. Seungri can tell he wants to say something by the way his mouth opens and closes a few times and by the way he fidgets around.
"I.... never had a girlfriend, Seungri."
Seungri nearly pushes him off the couch.
"You what?" Seungri turns to him and feels his anger bubbling up. Jiyong doesn't meet his eyes.
"There was a girl, but, we were just friends. We only ever met once. I think I was just trying to distract myself with her," Jiyong admits.
"Hyung, I don't understand--"
"Seungri, I like you. I've always liked you," Jiyong says flatly, cutting duly into the tense atmosphere. Jiyong tries to hold it in, tries to keep a straight face, but he can't. Jiyong lets out a choked sob before pulling himself away from Seungri and bursting into tears. Seungri's mind blanks; he doesn't know what to do. He's thrown completely off track.
"You--what--how." Seungri stumbles through his words. Jiyong only cries silently in return.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Jiyong says silently, and Seungri focuses back on Jiyong for a second. He wants to comfort him. He wants to make his tears stop. He wants to apologize for avoiding him. He wants to tell him that he likes him too--
Seungri panics.
"Hyung, what are we going to do? Oh god, hyung, Jiyong hyung." Seungri repeats over and over, but gets no response. Jiyong doesn't face him. He just shakes his head.
"I don't know, this wasn't supposed to happen! I can't--we can't. Seungri, we can't," Jiyong cries and it hurts Seungri. It hurts to know that it could never work, even if he wasn't afraid.
______
Eventually they all return to Korea. Jiyong and Seungri each throwing themselves back into their work. Trying hard to produce albums before their deadlines.
Jiyong pretends it doesn't sting when he catches Seungri's gaze from across the room.
Seungri pretends he never looked at Jiyong in the first place.
this was done for gdkissri for oxygenlove. I just.. don't even really know if this is believable. lol I'm not good at angst and I didn't get it beta'd in time for the contest so yeah, posting stuff unbeta'd for forever. comments are loved and critique is accepted as always~