(no subject)
Title: Down Is The New Up
Pairing: TopRi(SeunghyunxSeungri)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: romance
Word count: 9387 (!)
Summary: It's not until the next day that Seunghyun realizes that he might just be a little infatuated with Seungri.
Watching the parody together is something Seunghyun knows they have to do for TV, but still doesn't want to. It was already awkward enough when they watched it during Big Show rehearsal. It was even more awkward filming it. Having to kiss his band mates, his family more than once for the "right shot" was like torture. The only thing worse now is that their reactions are being filmed for broadcast.
When his kiss with Seungri comes up, Seunghyun sees out of the corner of his eye Seungri laughing awkwardly, trying to pretend like he thinks it is actually funny. Seunghyun tries his hardest to keep a straight face. Tries his hardest not to remember the way Seungri's lips felt on his own. Tries his hardest not to remember Seungri's smaller body shaking in his hold out of nervousness despite Seungri's refusal to push away on cue, causing Seunghyun to kiss him longer than expected.
The scene is over just about as quickly as it had started. Seunghyun thinks he is safe until the very next scene is his kiss with Jiyong. There is a brief moment of panic over having to witness himself perv on his band mates again, but it isn't like the tension he felt while watching his and Seungri's scene.
It was weird though because kissing Jiyong was different. It wasn't awkward at all. Maybe it was just because Jiyong was easier to get along with than Seungri. Off camera, Seungri was a mess, fidgeting around and laughing when his nervousness got the best of him. Even though he had to kiss Jiyong more than once for the sake of angles, Jiyong didn't make a big deal out of it. Jiyong made a bigger deal out of having to wear fishnet stockings and high heels than he did having to kiss Seunghyun.
_________
They're on set. The camera's rolling, people are standing around in silence. Seungri is there in front of him with his ridiculous wig and over-sized sunglasses. How many times had they practiced? How many times had he gone over this scenario in his head?
The director yells for them to start and Seunghyun gets into character, but it's wrong. The roles are reversed. He's not kissing Seungri; Seungri is kissing him. Seunghyun struggles in his hold, which is surprisingly strong, trying to back away as Seungri shoves his tongue down his throat. He swears he feels Seungri's lips smirk against his own.
This wasn't in the fucking script.
When Seungri pulls away, he's no longer in costume but instead looks like he always does. Signature smirk, perfectly gelled hair, enormous eye bags. Seunghyun is sure from the heat he feels in his cheeks that he's blushing. What is going on?
Before anyone can answer him, his phone alarm rings noisily and he struggles to find it and shut the damn thing off. After he finally finds it under the mess on his nightstand he immediately recalls the dream he just had. He groans and throws his head back into the pillows. It was going to be a long and awkward day of practice.
________
Seunghyun feels like picking on one of his dongsaengs. But who? Of course, the universe dictates Seungri because Daesung isn't around for Seunghyun to dote on and Jiyong is with them. Not to mention the fact that they were going to be filmed and Seunghyun would not miss an opportunity to embarrass Seungri on national television. He just has to make sure he keeps his "feelings" in check.
Seungri does a pretty good job of ignoring him and it kind of pisses Seunghyun off. He remarks that Seungri is wearing shoe lifts and Seungri smiles. Seunghyun pulls him ungently to rile him up, but they both end up laughing. Seunghyun holds his hand on the way to the restaurant and daringly makes remarks to the camera about Seungri's feelings on their kiss, but he is ignored. Seunghyun half jokes at the camera that he's having an identity crisis because of the parody in a lame attempt to get Seungri to just look at him. It doesn't work just in time for them to arrive at the restaurant.
Seunghyun focuses on eating until Jiyong and Youngbae finally join in on picking on the maknae. They all fail to get a reaction out of him since he defaults to a blank face whenever his hyungs pick on him. Only Seunghyun gets him to smile when he jokes about Seungri trying to kill him with scissors. It's not as fun as making him mad, but Seunghyun still appreciates it in a way.
It's not until the next day that Seunghyun realizes that he might just be a little infatuated with Seungri.
__________
Seunghyun begins to hate himself a little.
He can't stand how he likes how Seungri smiles by baring all of his teeth or how many times he blinks when he feels he's saying something important or how he laughs like a cackling witch. He can't stand how he continues to notice these things and how it makes him feel.
Seunghyun hates himself so much that he lets it affect his performance. Not like he wants to be the best dancer ever, but he keeps messing up the simplest and most noticeable of moves. When they play back a recording of their practice rehearsal for "Tonight" Jiyong is quick to point out he wasn't doing this or that right.
It's not like they have time to go through it over and over again anyway, seeing as they have to be at the SBS studios for Inkigayo soon. Jiyong just tells him to "get it right for broadcast" before they all head out.
Backstage is loud and bustling with people hurrying up to make everything perfect. Stylists fuss over all of them without stopping. Seunghyun is sick of it, wants nothing more to get the night over. The rest of the group is perceptive to his mood and stays away from him.
They perform a million times for the perfect shots, but it's all worth it since they win. Seunghyun is happy, but his negative mood and the amount of times they had to perform has worn him out. Not to mention the fact that he can't stop noticing how good Seungri looks in those jeans. He forces himself to do a little jig for the sake of broadcast, to at least make himself appear happy, when unexpectedly Seungri grabs him and joins him in his dance.
Seunghyun immediately stops. His little half smile fades and he tries not to let Seungri pull him into any sort of embrace. Seungri picks up on his body language. Their eyes meet and when Seungri notices that his hyung's mood had not improved at all, his smile fades and he backs away. Seunghyun doesn't look at him, he knows Seungri is upset. He nonchalantly moves to the other side of the stage and lazily does the encore.
Before they leave for the dorms, Jiyong pulls Seunghyun aside while the others wait in the van.
"What the hell is wrong with you today?" Jiyong asks, leader tone in full effect. When Seunghyun doesn't respond, Jiyong gets angry, his tone a fierce whisper. "You better get your fucking shit together or-" he begins to warn. Seunghyun remains quiet, Jiyong takes it as some sort of smugness. "Are you even listening?"
"Yes."
"Well you're doing a shitty job at it like the rest of today. This isn't just us or you, Seunghyun hyung. This is Big Bang. This is all of us." Jiyong takes a moment and sighs, changes his expression, changes his game plan. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Jiyong offers.
"I don't know." Seunghyun avoids Jiyong's gaze. The ground seems like an appropriate place to look.
"Don't lie. It's my responsibility to know what's going on within the group. Is it something one of the guys did? Did Seungri run his mouth again or what?"
Seunghyun laughs then, short and awkward with a bit of a sarcastic tone. There was absolutely nothing funny about what Jiyong said.
"I'm having an identity crisis." Seunghyun laughs again.
"Over what? Whether you're a human or an alien?" Jiyong rolls his eyes.
"If I'm gay for one of my dongsaengs or not," Seunghyun thinks to himself, but remains quiet until Jiyong gives in and they both head for the van.
___________
It's not like Seungri makes anything easier.
Seunghyun feels like an ass the next morning when he wakes up to a text message from Seungri.
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
9:09AM xx/xx/xx
I'm sorry, feel better today, TOP hyung~! Hwaiting!! \(^0^/
Seunghyun runs a hand through his bed head and sighs. He thinks about it for a minute before deciding to send a message back.
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
9:12AM xx/xx/xx
no, hyung is sorry. i'll make it up to you. do you have any free time today?? we could go for ice cream and hyung will pay.
_____________
They had been here before. It was during the free time before they had to film Big Bang TV and the others had voted them to get everyone ice cream from this particular shop.
Seungri orders the same thing he had nearly a week ago: vanilla and banana chocolate stacked high in a waffle cone. Seunghyun hates himself for remembering as he bitterly eats his one scoop of sugar free vanilla.
They walk down the street, eating their ice cream in silence until Seungri, who could never keep his mouth shut, says something. "What's up with you lately anyway, hyung?"
Seunghyun knew it was coming. His attitude was the whole reason he was buying Seungri ice cream.
"Just stress," Seunghyun lies.
"We're all stressed, hyung. You shouldn't let it get to you like that." Seungri looks hurt when he says the last bit of his sentence. "'Specially when Jiyong hyung bitches you out about it," Seungri continues with a mouth full of ice cream.
Seunghyun pales and Seungri rolls his eyes. "We all saw your little talk the other night."
"Oh... you did huh?"
"Yeah." Seungri pauses. "You know, instead of leader lecturing you, you could talk to someone instead." Seungri pauses again, takes another bite of ice cream. "You could talk to me," he mutters and Seunghyun nearly misses it, but he pretends like he does miss it and they stay silent the entire walk back to the dorms.
_____________
Recording for MNet Soundplex is pretty boring, Seunghyun has to admit. They're only halfway into their promotions and he's already sick of it. It's all the same. Come in, talk, sing, and dance. Rinse. Repeat.
When he and Jiyong are done performing, he has to introduce Seungri and hates himself for stuttering while calling him "sexy." Damn the script.
The first half of recording is just them performing and Seunghyun just goes through the motions. He gets a bit of nostalgia performing with Jiyong for broadcast even though their promotions didn't end that long ago. He lets himself enjoy the other's solo stages, even enough to do the "crack, crack" dance with Youngbae when it's Seungri's turn, enjoying Seungri's stage probably more than he should.
After they all perform, they do the interview section. The female MC doesn't seem sure how to handle them half the time, so Seunghyun drifts in and out of the conversations going on around him. He's forced to pay attention when it's time to answer single questions from fans.
When Seunghyun looks as his question, he groans inwardly. "What is bare skin to TOP?" Hearing and seeing questions about his body were just about as old as Youngbae's hairstyle. But he answers the question anyway, along with the female MC's additional questions. He lies through his teeth. There would be no way he'd allow his bare body to be permanent on film. He'd made that mistake once already.
Just as he thinks this, Daesung has to joke about how supposedly muscular his body is. Seunghyun thinks he's wrong. He's not muscular at all. Not flabby anymore, but nowhere near muscular. Seunghyun laughs along with the joke anyway.
Seunghyun pretty much ignores the other's questions. Drifts in and out of the conversation, but doesn't really care to know how Youngbae feels about girls for the billionth time. Or talk about Daesung's bed scene for at least the hundredth time.
He's forced to pay attention again, however, when the female MC cuts Seungri off saying he changed his question. This should be interesting. Seunghyun thinks this is a great opportunity for them to pick on the maknae when Seungri reads the real question:
"What is TOP to Seungri?"
What? Why couldn't he answer that? Why did he change it? Why was that even a fucking question?
Seunghyun puts on an awkward smile, trying to seem like he's enjoying the situation, when really he just wants to hide. He knows he can't; he knows the cameras are pinned on him for his reactions.
Seunghyun waits for the worst when Seungri says the most ridiculous god damn thing he could say.
"TOP hyung is almond, therefore I will be a peanut. We make a good flavor."
Seunghyun can't stop laughing. Of all the things for him to say. He can't say, "Oh he's a good hyung" or anything like that? Seunghyun smiles despite himself because only Seungri.
After a moment, Seungri says what everyone expects him to say. Talks about how Seunghyun is a good hyung and the age gap. It's when Seungri says that Seunghyun is his reason for living that suddenly his microphone becomes very interesting to play with. Everyone laughs like it's a big joke. It doesn't sound like a joke at all.
Of course then the female MC has to ask him how he feels about Seungri. He can't exactly say he's dealing with a gay crush on him, so he just says what he's expected to say. Seungri is cute and is a dongsaeng that should be cherished. It's true, even though they're just words appropriate for TV, he does mean them.
Seunghyun thinks after that that they can finally move on from this stupid subject when the female MC just has to push his buttons one last time and tells them to hug. Show everyone how close they are.
Seunghyun reluctantly gets up and stands there awkwardly. Seungri says he has an idea. He tells Seunghyun to stay there. Seunghyun just waits, afraid and nervous as fuck. Keeps reminding himself to keep the hug TV appropriate because the thought of holding Seungri is putting way too many inappropriate thoughts into his head.
What he doesn't expect is for Seungri to run and jump on him. Seunghyun freaks out. He has no idea where to put his hands. He grabs the backs of Seungri's thighs on instinct, wanting to keep him from falling, but the heat radiating through his hands is too much. It doesn't matter because Seungri is holding himself up just fine. So fine in fact, that the heat from Seungri's tightly wrapped legs around his waist is doing things to him that he can't handle dealing with on national TV. His position is so provocative. Why isn't anyone stopping him?
Seunghyun just barely sees Seungri start to fall before burying his face in his hands, but Seunghyun knows he dances all the way down until he's completely on the floor. Seunghyun covers his face half out of embarrassment, half out of arousal. None of the fangirls can out-scream the sound of his heart beating or the blood pumping in his ears.
Backstage, Seungri can't seem to meet his eyes. That's fine since Seunghyun can't meet his either.
Later that night, the constant reminder of the "hug" eventually makes Seunghyun give into his lust. He touches himself to the thoughts of Seungri's warm body wrapped tightly around him, a mix of guilt and arousal clouding his mind.
__________
Seunghyun arrives to the photo shoot last. It's at some new studio across town, way too far away from his apartment. He wasn't one for being on time anyway. He liked being fashionably late.
The stylists get his hair and make-up done quick. The eye make-up is too heavy and a bit smoky. The outfits aren't any better. They force him into tight leather pants before making him climb in a bathtub for his single shots. Seunghyun just goes along with the motions, really wishing he could just go back home and sleep. He thinks about just going back to the dorms, not really concentrating on modeling. Maybe the dorms were closer than his apartment. He could spend more time sleeping then.
He's jarred from his thoughts when one of the stylists waves yellow tape at him and then points behind him. Seunghyun turns around to see Seungri and inwardly groans. Images of his own dirty deeds concerning the maknae come back to him and he's embarrassed to say the least.
Seungri's make-up is just as heavy and ridiculous as his own. His hair is gelled and done up all crazy. Not to mention he is wearing a skirt. He looks like some dirty teenaged rebel like they were supposed to, but it works on Seungri. Or maybe Seungri himself is just appealing to Seunghyun. He doesn't want to think about it.
The stylist smushes them together. Seunghyun feels Seungri's body heat on his side and it makes him nervous and tense. At least he doesn't have to look at him.
The stylist wraps them up in the tape, making them even closer. Seunghyun holds his breath and silently curses to himself. It's uncomfortable, but he stays put like a good model-- that is until the stylist tries to work the tape between his legs. He steps back.
"Uhh-- that's not-" Seunghyun stutters.
"It's fine, it's fine!" She assures. It isn't assuring at all.
She doesn't touch him more than she has to, but it's still unnerving. On top of some lady nearly touching his dick, he hears Seungri snickering from beside him. He knows the maknae is laughing at him. If only Seunghyun could slap that smirk from his face.
The camera begins to take pictures and everything seems fine. Seunghyun poses, works his facial expressions, all is well. But then, Seungri leans into him. He tips his head back onto Seunghyun's shoulder. Seungri's hair tickles the side of his neck. He feels Seungri back flex against his shoulder and his ass rub into the side of his thigh. Seunghyun is helpless and just lets it happen. Seungri is just posing. That's all. Nothing more.
When their shoot finally ends, Seunghyun rips himself along with a good majority of the tape away from Seungri.
Thankfully the group shots from then on allow Seunghyun to stand by everyone who is not Seungri.
______________
After their ninth win is when they decide to celebrate. Three triple crowns is a big deal, YG practically insists upon throwing them a party even with their schedules. It's nothing huge. A small get-together in the cafeteria of the YG building with some of YG family and other friends. There is a cake involved, and of course, copious amounts of alcohol.
They all have a good time. Seunghyun watches with Daesung from the sidelines, occasionally sipping his drink and having a casual conversation with his friend. He points out Jiyong playing drinking games with Chaerin and Seungho and losing. They share a laugh at that. Daesung catches Youngbae awkwardly hitting on Dara and Bom coming to Dara's "rescue." They both notice Dongwook endlessly teasing Minji poking her saying "Ero-Minji! Ero-Minji!" They both wave to Teddy when he makes a brief appearance.
And nearing the middle of the party, they both notice how loud and rowdy Seungri gets when he's especially drunk. Seunghyun, however, is the only one to notice when he drunkenly staggers down the hall away from the others. He feels some responsibility as a hyung and some other concern he'd rather not think about and gets up to follow him, telling Daesung he'll be right back.
There is a voice in the back of his head telling him to let it go, that this was a bad idea. But no one else was paying attention to him. And he wasn't about to let Seungri hurt himself.
He finds Seungri in an empty hallway, leaning against the wall with a sleepy smile across his face, probably ready to pass out. When Seunghyun gets close enough, Seungri opens his eyes and smiles.
"Hey, hyung."
"Hey yourself. You ok?" Seunghyun walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder, reminding himself that he means nothing by it, it's just supposed to be a comforting gesture, nothing more.
"Mmm... tired," Seungri responds lazily, drawing out the words slowly. Seungri blinks up at Seunghyun, his eyes half lidded and glazed over with a small smirk to match them.
"You shouldn't drink so much, maknae," Seunghyun warns out of genuine concern. Seungri just smiles and closes his eyes before moving closer to Seunghyun.
"You should hold me like you did the other day," Seungri mumbles before draping his body over Seunghyun's. "I can't hold myself up this time, though," he slurs.
Seungri becomes dead weight instantly so Seunghyun has no choice but to keep him upright. Seungri's body is heavy and warm in his arms. Seunghyun tries to adjust him in his hold to keep him from falling and jostles him upright a bit. Seungri's head tips back and then they're face to face. Seunghyun's breath catches and he realizes he's in quite a predicament. All his confusing feelings he's felt in the past few weeks rush back to him in that moment and he can't do anything other than stare down at Seungri's flushed face and slightly parted lips.
Seungri opens his eyes again, staring straight back into Seunghyun's own. He examines Seunghyun's face for a moment, before looking down at the position they're in, and then looking back up again. Seunghyun doesn't know if he looks scared or turned on or both, but Seungri obviously sees something that makes him regain his footing, lean up, and kiss Seunghyun without hesitation.
Seunghyun feels the tips of his ears burn when Seungri's full, soft lips connect with his own. God they're soft, so fucking soft. This is nothing like their kiss for the parody.
Seunghyun feels heat spread from his chest to his limbs when Seungri presses insistently into him with his whole body, more so with his lips. Seunghyun presses right back. Seungri's fingers curl into his arms, silently pleading for more and Seunghyun takes Seungri's lower lip into his mouth and gently sucks on it. Seungri gasps and then Seunghyun connects their open mouths. He wraps his tongue around Seungri's own, enjoying the wet, warm heat of Seungri's mouth. Then Seungri lets out a loud whine and Seunghyun breaks them apart abruptly, reality crashing down on him.
Seunghyun freaks out. He just made out with his dongsaeng, his bandmate, his friend. Despite his crush and Seungri initiating he felt wrong. Seungri was drunk, he probably kissed a lot of people when he was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. Seunghyun should have fucking know better.
Seunghyun gently pushes a confused Seungri away and walks back to the party, grabs his jacket, and leaves without a word.
_______________
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
2:16AM xx/xx/xx
I don't regret it.
Seunghyun blinks at the message a few times, still tired and groggy from sleep. After he left last night he had made the nearest manager he found drive him all the way to his own apartment. He stumbled in, downed a glass of wine, and fell asleep. So when he wakes up in the morning to a text message Seungri probably made when he was still partially drunk, he's hungover and throws his phone across the bed and ignores it.
____________
Seunghyun manages to ignore Seungri until they all have to be at their next stage recording. Seunghyun acts like Seungri doesn't even exist. He doesn't say hello, just gets his hair and make-up done in silence. Of course, Jiyong notices and when Seunghyun meets his eyes Jiyong gives him a warning look that tells Seunghyun to get his act together.
Seunghyun does a good job of ignoring Seungri until Seungri makes his presence known.
"Hyung, we need to talk," Seungri says, suddenly appearing before him. Before Seunghyun can say anything, Seungri grabs his hand and leads them out of the waiting room. Outside there are even more people so Seungri leads them through various hallways to get away. Seunghyun doesn't want to talk to Seungri. He especially doesn't want Seungri to take him somewhere private.
Seungri eventually finds an empty bathroom and pushes them inside and locks the door. Seunghyun tears his arm away from Seungri's grasp immediately. He would have done so earlier if he was not afraid of making a scene. Seungri spares a glance at Seunghyun's action before looking him in the face.
"Do I disgust you that much? Do I make you that mad?" Seungri whisper-yells at him. Seunghyun doesn't meet his eyes. "You know, I got over the whole you ignoring me during our encore thing, but this is different. You can't just buy me ice cream and say you're sorry this time."
"I know."
"I wish you would just decide what you want. You kiss me, then you hate me. I'm fucking sick of it," Seungri raises his voice and Seunghyun flinches.
"I'm sorry."
"Is that all you have to say?" Seungri looks ready to hit him. But there's a desperation in his eyes, making Seunghyun feel guilty. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Seungri. He knows he messed up bad.
"No, I just--" Seunghyun chokes on his words before they die in his throat. Seungri shakes his head and sighs.
"You could at least, I don't know, turn me down to my face. You didn't have to get my hopes up then act like I don't even fucking exist." Seungri stops and Seunghyun knows he's waiting for Seunghyun to say something, but Seunghyun can't find the words. "Do you even know how long I've liked you? Just because I was drunk doesn't mean I wouldn't kiss you if I was sober." Seungri mutters before he turns to leave.
There are so many things Seunghyun wants to say to that, but he's floored in disbelief that Seungri just admitted to liking him and not only that, apparently for a while. Seunghyun feels stupid and guilty and overall frustrated. He's not going to let Seungri just leave, he can'tt. Seunghyun stops Seungri before his hand can even reach the door.
"Me either," Seunghyun admits, finally finding the courage to speak up. His heart is racing and he's nervous as hell and it is probably the lamest confession ever.
"You what?"
"I would. Kiss you. Drunk or sober." Seunghyun holds his breath, waits for Seungri to laugh at him or continue leaving. Seungri's feelings for him might already be out in the open, but doubt is still there lingering in the back of his mind. He doesn't quite expect Seungri to rush toward him and pull him down by his shirt collar to kiss him.
Despite the shock of Seungri's sudden action, Seunghyun quickly takes the lead, pulling Seungri into him. It's so much different from before. There's a fire, a heat that wasn't there before. Seunghyun's not sure if it's anger or passion but then Seungri bites at his lips, causing Seunghyun to flinch backwards into the wall and let out a pained sound. A mix of both.
"Fuck you for not texting me back. Fuck you," Seungri hisses before moving in to kiss him again.
Seunghyun's mouth opens ever so slightly from the surprise and Seungri pushes it the rest of the way with his tongue. Their teeth clack almost painfully because of Seungri's forcefulness. Seunghyun can't say he hates it. He's wanted this for too long to hate it.
However, he does hate the lack of control, so he switches their positions. Seunghyun turns them and pushes Seungri into the wall, covers Seungri's body with his own as he continues kissing him. But Seungri's always been a prideful, resentful brat and keeps trying to control the situation until Seunghyun pulls his head back.
"Stop." Seunghyun holds Seungri's arms down at his sides and pushes his body up in the process, connecting them in a new way. Seungri sighs and tilts his head back. Seunghyun lets out a gasp of his own before he freezes, watching Seungri's face contort into pleasure.
"Do that again, hyung," Seungri demands but Seunghyun doesn't want to give him what he wants.
"Say please," Seunghyun challenges. Seungri needs to be taught a lesson on who the older one is here. Seungri glares at him. Seunghyun keeps his smug expression.
"Fucking please." Seungri puts on a show; it's not real begging, it's more like really bad acting. However, Seunghyun figures it's good enough and presses his hips up again, rubbing their growing arousals together.
Seunghyun forgets Seungri's attitude and instead focuses on the soft sighs and gasps escaping Seungri's lips as he rocks his hips forward. This is nothing like he could ever have imagined. Any fantasies he's come up with in the past week can't compare to this.
Seunghyun starts a rhythm between them, creating a friction and heat between their bodies. Seunghyun feels Seungri harden against him and it makes him hot; it gives him pleasure knowing he's pleasing someone else.
Seunghyun leans forward and persuades Seungri to tilt his head back down so they can kiss. It's different again; no longer crossing the line between passion and anger but just simply being passionate. And this time, Seungri doesn't try to take over, he opens his mouth and lets Seunghyun take the lead.
Seungri pants into his mouth and bucks into him. It makes Seunghyun feel weird while being incredibly turned on at the same time. He's never done anything like this with another man. Hell, he's never done anything like this with anyone. They were practically having fully-clothed sex in a public restroom.
Seungri continues to press back into Seunghyun as much as he could, his arms still being held down by Seunghyun. His sighs turn into moans as Seunghyun presses harder.
"Hyung," Seungri leans in to whisper, "make me come."
Seunghyun shivers at the thought, at the words. He moves his hips harder, making Seungri bite back broken moans as he shudders, trying to keep quiet. Seunghyun forgets about his own hard-on and focuses completely on Seungri. Just watching him is thrilling enough, but he couldn't draw this out any longer. They had been gone too long. Seunghyun moves intent on getting it over with, despite his body screaming at him not to.
Seunghyun watches Seungri stiffen with a choked sob, then slump forward. Seunghyun lets go of his arms and holds him, lets Seungri catch his breath on his neck. It's only for a few moments before Seungri is pushing past him to one of the stalls behind him without a word. Seunghyun assumes he's cleaning himself up.
Seunghyun wasn't about to ask about reciprocation just yet nor did he want to take care of himself, so he just adjusts himself and hopes his erection goes away. Seungri comes out of the stall just as Seunghyun is checking his appearance in the mirror. Seungri appears beside him and does the same as he washes his hands before looking Seunghyun up and down.
"Do you want me to--?"
"Not now."
"Ok. "
There's an unspoken awkwardness and tension in the room. Seunghyun can feel it surrounding them. Seungri dries his hands slowly, drawing out the process. Seunghyun feels like he should say something, but Seungri beats him to the punch.
"You know, hyung. I don't-- I don't want this to be a one time thing. With you." Seungri doesn't look at him, but just stares vacantly into the mirror. Seunghyun relaxes at his words. The tension in the room fades.
"Me either," Seunghyun agrees with a smile. Seungri blinks at him a few times before smiling back, a small smile turning into a teeth-baring grin making Seunghyun's heart beat a little faster.
"Are you ready to go?" Seungri asks after a moment. Seunghyun fakes thinking about it for a second before he leans in and kisses Seungri one last time.
"Now I am." Seunghyun smiles. Seungri smiles back.
When they come back into their waiting room a few minutes later, the others each give them questioning and judging glances. And somehow, even with Seungri's fail acting, they manage to act like nothing happened.
Later that night at the dorms, Seunghyun had just finished showering and is going to go to bed when he receives a text.
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
11:56PM xx/xx/xx
Goodnight, Hyung~~ <3
Seunghyun smiles like an idiot. He only wishes he could say this to Seungri directly as he texts a "goodnight" back.
_______
All the frustration and tension leaves Seunghyun after that day. He's on cloud nine. He doesn't mess up at practice. He makes it look like there's only fanservice between him and Seungri. He even gets a compliment from Jiyong on his improvement.
Everything is awesome.
Whenever he catches Seungri's gaze in the mirrors in the dance studio, Seungri smiles and looks elsewhere. Seunghyun can't help but smile himself, knowing he has that effect on him.
When they take a break, Seungri walks over to Seunghyun and starts poking him and making comments like, "I like your outfit today" and, "You look handsome." Seunghyun pretends like he doesn't love it for the sake of the others in the room.
"What's up with you today? Did you break something of mine?" Seunghyun jokes, making everyone within earshot laugh. Seungri just shrugs. Seunghyun pats him on the head like any of the others would, but lets his hand linger just a bit longer than it should.
Seunghyun feels great up until the point Daesung corners him.
"You guys are so obvious."
Seunghyun nearly spits out his water.
"W-what?"
Daesung rolls his eyes. "You and Seungri."
Seunghyun feigns innocence. He laughs like it's a big joke. Daesung just stares at him. Seunghyun gives up on pretending after a moment. He knows Daesung isn't stupid.
"Don't tell anyone ok?" Seunghyun pleads in a whisper. Daesung just smiles.
"Of course not, hyung. I just wanted you to know that Jiyongie hyung is this close to figuring it out." Daesung makes a show with his fingers to prove his point. Seunghyun just stares at them.
"And what does that mean?" Seunghyun asks.
"We're in the middle of promotions plus we're in a group together. You know the first thing he's going to think of is you two breaking up the band," Daesung points out. Seunghyun panics a bit. They've barely even started. It's been one day. It's like they weren't even getting a chance to have a secret relationship.
"We're that obvious, huh?" Seunghyun frowns.
"Yep."
The rest of dance practice, Seunghyun doesn't smile at Seungri or anyone. He focuses completely on his dancing and nothing else. It's not until after practice that Seungri catches on.
"What happened? What did Daesung say to you?" Seungri asks as they walk down the halls together. Seunghyun looks around before replying.
"We have to be more secretive, ok? He said we're really obvious." Seunghyun quickly reaches down and gives Seungri's hand a squeeze before letting go. He times it with a smile.
"Would it be obvious if we snuck off and continued what we were doing the other day?" Seungri smirks. Seunghyun chuckles a bit.
"Yeah it would. We have a schedule y'know," Seunghyun reminds forlornly. Seungri pouts before they head outside and into the van.
___________
Schedule, it turns out, is one hell of a bitch.
It seems like every time Seunghyun wants to be alone with Seungri they're either busy promoting or sleeping or are on completely opposite sides of town.
Seunghyun is fed up, to be honest.
As they exit the stage after the announcing of the winner, Seunghyun looks around before he grabs Seungri, pushes him into a dark corner and gives him a quick, hard kiss before dragging him along to be with the others. When Seunghyun turns to look back and smirk at Seungri, the maknae is blushing. Seunghyun smiles so big that his dimples show.
He doesn't care much about being caught. No one was there to seem them anyway. Everyone was doing their own thing.
They all high five and bow to passerbys as they make their way back to their waiting room to change. Everyone is congratulating them on a job well done and Seunghyun is of course humbled, but wants nothing more than to take Seungri somewhere dark and quiet and burn off the excess energy he has from the stage. Yes, that would be nice, take him somewhere where they could become nothing but a mixture of hushed whispers and hot touches--
"Hyung, just go. Just take him and go," Jiyong says, suddenly appearing beside Seunghyun who nearly jumps out of his skin and off the couch. He's speechless at the leader's words. Did Jiyong just give him the okay to go do dirty things with Seungri? Jiyong rolls his eyes at Seunghyun's confused expression.
"I fucking saw you mack on him just a minute ago." Jiyong's voice is in a harsh whisper, careful of the people around them. "God, you're lucky there aren't any cameras this one time. I would seriously skin you alive." The tips of Seunghyun's ears burn red from embarrassment. "And don't think I haven't noticed what's been going on between you two before either. Just take it somewhere else before other people notice."
"Thanks," Seunghyun mumbles as he takes out his phone. He could kiss the ground Kwon Jiyong walks on right now. Jiyong knows it too.
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
10:32PM xx/xx/xx
leader gave us permission to leave. just us.
Seunghyun catches Seungri's confused glance from across the room. Seunghyun is guessing that he's probably wondering why Seunghyun doesn't just tell him this.
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
10:34PM xx/xx/xx
What do you mean 'just us'? ^^; Why are we texting each other, hyung?
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
10:39PM xx/xx/xx
i mean just us so we can go.. do stuff. together. alone. that's why we're texting.
Seunghyun catches Seungri's surprised expression once he reads the message. It even looks like he reads it a few times to make sure it's real. Then he becomes so obviously sneaky in such a Seungri way that Seunghyun almost facepalms.
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
10:41PM xx/xx/xx
be cool. stop looking around. look, you leave first. make up some bullshit about having to meet your friends or something if anyone asks and go wait by our van outside.
Seungri does as he's told, although awkwardly. He even steals a glance at Seunghyun before leaving the room and Seunghyun rolls his eyes. Jiyong, who is still sitting beside him, giggles into the back of his hand.
"Shut up," Seunghyun complains.
"I just find it cute, hyung," Jiyong says through his giggles.
"No you don't. You're mocking me." Seunghyun turns and glares at Jiyong who pretends to think about it, putting on a show by tilting his head and making cute expressions before bursting out laughing.
"You're right, I am." Jiyong's giggling was beginning to annoy Seunghyun. He decides to leave earlier than intended to escape Jiyong's mocking. He thinks someone might notice since it had only been a couple minutes, but shrugs and gets up anyway. Thankfully, Jiyong has no snarky comments for his exit.
Seunghyun makes his way to the parking garage just fine without bumping into anyone asking where he was going. When he spots their van, he also spots Seungri standing next to it, shaking. Once Seungri sees him coming, he makes a big fuss.
"I can't believe you told me to go first, it's freaking freezing out here!" Seungri complains and glares through his shivering.
"Well, I guess we'll have to warm you up." Seunghyun covers Seungri's body with his own as he pushes him up against the van and kisses him. Any other complaints Seungri had are forgotten as he submits to the kiss. Seunghyun keeps it brief, however, since they are still in a public place. "Later," Seunghyun promises before Seungri can protest.
Seunghyun turns to lean against the van next to Seungri rather than practically on top of him and takes out his cell phone to call a cab. When he's done, he looks over to see Seungri shivering again. Seunghyun sighs and pulls him into a half hug.
They wait for the cab to arrive in silence, Seungri trying to further burrow himself into Seunghyun with every couple of minutes that passes by. Seunghyun just holds him tighter until he eventually lets Seungri curl into his front, still only holding on to him with one arm. Seunghyun allows himself to bury his face into Seungri's hair, enjoying the softness and the warmth radiating off him. He plants a kiss onto his head before he lets go as the cab arrives.
The cab driver praises them and says things like "my daughter is a big fan of yours" and Seunghyun smiles as Seungri eats it up and offers an autograph. Seunghyun likes Seungri's adoration for their fans. He was one the few people not jaded from stardom and Seunghyun admired that.
They reach Seunghyun's apartment in ten minutes. The cab driver heavily discounts their trip on account of Seungri being a generous celebrity. As they walk up to the door, Seungri begins to shiver again. His teeth are chattering when Seunghyun is entering the code in the keypad.
"Still cold?" Seunghyun asks, grinning.
"No, you asshole, I'm shaking from excitement." Seungri rolls his eyes.
"How dare you talk to me that way. I should just leave your ungrateful ass out here." Seunghyun enters the apartment and begins to close the door on Seungri before he pushes his way in. Seunghyun laughs and closes the door before leading them upstairs. Seungri follows bitterly.
Seunghyun's apartment is impeccably clean and mostly empty which made sense seeing as he still spent a lot of time at the dorms. Seungri looks around before deciding to sit on the nice leather couch. Seunghyun hangs up his coat before joining him, sitting impossibly close.
"Please don't tell me I have to romance you," Seunghyun jokes into Seungri's ear before kissing his neck.
"No, just kiss me." Seunghyun moves up as Seungri turns his head and their lips meet.
The kiss starts out soft. Seunghyun gently cups the side of Seungri's face as he moves his lips against Seungri's. But Seungri is impatient and presses harder, forcing Seunghyun to press back more to regain control. Seungri eagerly opens his mouth before Seunghyun even begins to think about initiating it. He always wanted to be one step ahead; impatient.
Seunghyun slides his tongue inside and Seungri dominates for a moment as Seunghyun finds out that he's pretty skilled with his tongue. Seunghyun thinks about how skilled that tongue could be in other places.
Seunghyun runs a hand up and down Seungri's front as they kiss, making him shiver and becoming pliant again. Seunghyun moves impossibly closer as he dips his hand lower and into the inside of Seungri's thigh. He purposefully avoids Seungri's crotch and Seungri whines, annoyed and impatient. Seunghyun pulls away from Seungri's mouth to see him absolutely flushed, lips slightly swollen. Seunghyun smirks before moving to kiss Seungri's neck as he rubs Seungri's inner thigh.
He inhales the fade of Seungri's cologne and a hint of sweat from their earlier performance as he trails light kisses down Seungri's neck. Seunghyun bites the junction between Seungri's shoulder and neck and Seungri gasps. Seunghyun bites him again on another spot just to get Seungri to breathe that way again.
Seunghyun eventually stops being a cock-tease and gives in. He moves his hand to touch Seungri's already growing erection through his jeans. Seungri finally moans before pressing into Seunghyun's hand.
It doesn't take any persuading on Seungri's part to get Seunghyun to move things along. Seunghyun doesn't need it. Doesn't want it. Teasing Seungri was fun, but finally touching him was something else. To feel that heat in his hand makes him hotter than he ever thought he could be. Seunghyun can't wait anymore. He even un-does Seungri's pants with a little haste before he grabs a hold of Seungri's half hard cock.
It's exciting like this, bringing pleasure to another man. Even more exciting than that time in the bathroom. This time there's no rush, no secrecy. Seunghyun takes his time stroking up and down Seungri's cock, savoring the feel of him in his hand, making Seungri hard as he sucks on his pulse. Seungri makes little sighs and moans with every stroke, making Seunghyun speed up a little more, grasp a little tighter.
Seunghyun stops kissing on Seungri for a moment to look down and to watch Seungri's cock slide in and out of his hand. Seeing it is at least ten times hotter than the idea of it, but nothing beats the look of absolute pleasure on Seungri's face. His head is tilted back, eyes shut, soft gasps and sighs escaping his lips. There's even a bit of sweat on his brow.
Seunghyun watches his face as he speeds up his hand. Seungri lets out a loud whine at the speed change as he bites his lower lip, taking in sharp breaths. Seunghyun moves even faster, intent on making Seungri come. Seungri becomes a moaning, writhing mess, arching and bucking before coming with a loud cry, spilling himself onto Seunghyun's hand.
Seunghyun tries to relax him; he kisses his face and pats his hair soothingly. Seungri sits back into the couch, boneless and panting. When he opens his eyes after a few moments, he immediately pulls Seunghyun into a kiss. It's soft and slow, like Seunghyun expects but also doesn't want.
"This is the second time I've made you come without you returning the favor," Seunghyun reminds and Seungri gives him a chuckle.
"Too bad for you," Seungri jokes. Seunghyun glares at him before Seungri shakes his head. "I'm just kidding. Give me a minute, I'll blow you."
Seunghyun's face lights up.
"You serious?"
"Yeah." There's laughter in Seungri's voice.
After a hand wash and a switching of positions, Seungri is kneeling between Seunghyun's legs, undoing his pants slowly, teasing him. Seungri just smirks as Seunghyun glares down at him, way too worked up for foreplay.
Seunghyun's pants are eventually undone, leaving only his boxers in the way. Seungri snorts at the colorful patterns decorating them.
"Do you buy your socks and underwear from the same place?"
"What? No, fuck, that's a dumb question." Seunghyun gives Seungri a look of disbelief.
Seungri just shrugs and pulls them down regardless. Seunghyun's cock hits the air and he gasps and tilts his head back. He looks down just in time to see Seungri almost hesitantly grab it. He looks as if he's bracing himself before he leans forward and gives the head a small lick; a taste.
"You don't have to force yourself." Seunghyun reaches down and runs his hand down the side of Seungri's face. Seungri looks at him, defiant.
"No, I want to do it. Just- just give me a minute." His pride wouldn't allow him to back down.
Seungri leans forward again, this time taking Seunghyun's cock into his mouth. He pauses like he's adjusting to the taste before swirling his tongue around the head making Seunghyun groan. He starts rubbing his tongue along the underside in little slow, hard motions that makes Seunghyun let out embarrassing noises. When Seungri tongues the slit Seunghyun moans unexpectedly loud and curls his fingers into Seungri's hair.
Seungri takes him further into his mouth, what he can't take in is covered by his hand. He gives a slight suck, timing it with his hand and further rubbing of his tongue along the underside. Seunghyun sucks in a breath, it feels fucking amazing.
He continues like that, bobbing his head with slow sucks and turns of his wrist. It drives Seunghyun crazy, making him pant and bite his lips. It hasn't even been that long nor has Seungri done anything really exciting, but he's so worked up from touching Seungri earlier and everything Seungri has done with his mouth since that he's already close.
Seunghyun pushes Seungri's head down gently, urging him to speed up. Seungri gets the message and moves a little faster, sucks a little harder. Seunghyun tries to warn him of his impending orgasm, knowing that even without saying it, this was definitely Seungri's first time sucking cock, but all that comes out is a strangled moan as he comes in Seungri's mouth.
Unprepared, Seungri jolts back once the taste hits his tongue only to have the rest end up on his face. Seunghyun forgets all about the afterglow, apologizing like crazy as Seungri gets up and runs to the kitchen sink.
"Shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry, Ri. I meant to warn you." Seunghyun appears by his side, handing Seungri paper towels.
"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted." Seungri grimaces before glaring at Seunghyun.
Seunghyun laughs at Seungri's expense. Seungri shoves him.
___________
"What do I wear?" Seungri asks as he comes out of the bathroom into Seunghyun's bedroom, freshly showered with only a towel covering him.
Seunghyun, who had showered before him, tries not to get dirty thoughts as he goes to his pretty empty closet. Most of his stuff was still at the dorm. He rummages through various clothes until he finds a tshirt and a pair of less-than-colorful boxers for Seungri. Seungri shrugs, takes them, and lets his towel drop to the floor before putting them on. Seunghyun doesn't even pretend like he isn't staring at Seungri's lean torso and pale skin. Seungri just smirks as he throws the shirt over his head.
"Want a picture? I'd even sign it for you," Seungri offers sarcastically.
"No, I'd rather--" Seunghyun catches himself before something embarrassingly dirty slips out. Seungri gives him a look. "But not now because we're showered and I'm fuckin' tired." Seunghyun yawns for effect before climbing into the over-sized bed. Seungri follows by flopping onto it and giggling. Seunghyun laughs before scolding him. "C'mon, stop goofin' around."
Seunghyun lifts up the blankets, allowing Seungri to crawl underneath them. With some prodding, Seunghyun gets Seungri to lie on his side so Seunghyun can spoon him, it being impossible for him to sleep without holding something. Seunghyun holds him tight and sighs into the back of his head. Seungri grabs Seunghyun's hand that was loosely held at his waist and holds it against his chest with his own.
"I used your toothbrush," Seungri comments, disturbing the mood. Seunghyun lightly hits him before he smiles contentedly as he drifts off into sleep.
Everything was perfect.
______________
Seunghyun wakes up with a start, his cellphone blaring noisily from his nightstand. Seungri, who had shifted positions during the night, groans and curls into Seunghyun's front.
Seunghyun reluctantly leaves their collective heat, turns around and picks up his phone.
"Hello?"
"This is your wake up call, Seunghyun-sshi!" Seunghyun's manager shouts, too chipper for--whatever time it was.
"What time is it?" Seunghyun asks groggily as he rubs his face.
"Eleven thirty. Say, is Little Seunghyun there with you? Jiyong said he would be with you. He's not answering his phone." Seunghyun chokes on his yawn.
"Um no--I mean yes-- I mean I know where he is. On the couch. Yeah. He kept bugging me about spending time yeah, and then he got too drunk as this restaurant and my apartment was closer..." Seunghyun lies. He jumps a little when he feels Seungri pinch the skin on his back in retaliation for his lies.
"I see."
"Yeah."
"I'm sending a van to pick you two up in an hour. Got it?"
"Yes, hyung." With that he hung up.
"You're a terrible liar, hyung," Seungri says from behind him. Seunghyun turns around to smack him on the arm.
"Shut up. Did you want me to tell him the truth?" Seunghyun dares Seungri to say another word.
"Hm... Jiyong hyung probably already told him anyway," Seungri muses.
"Yeah, well... It's not like he knows what we did last night."
Seungri's eyebrows quirk up before he smirks and stretches onto his back, putting his body on display. His shirt rises, showing the pale skin and definition of his hip bones underneath. Seunghyun looks with interest.
"Or what we could be doing right now," Seungri suggests, a wicked look in his eyes.
Why the hell not? They had an hour after all.
_______________
Eventually everyone sort of just knows. Seunghyun first notices with small things, such as Daesung moving so he and Seungri can sit next to each other in the van or their manager suggesting to take both him and Seungri to Seunghyun's apartment.
But things get outright weird in the studio one evening. Seunghyun is in the studio with the 2NE1 girls, brushing up on some raps as the girls record their new tracks. Everything is fine for the first hour or so of recording until their first break. Seunghyun always loves to pick on Bom, she is an easy target and is cute when she got angry. However Seunghyun doesn't expect Chaerin to defend her in the weirdest of ways.
"If you're not nice to Bommie unnie then I'm going to be as twice as mean to your boyfriend tomorrow," she threatens, completely serious. Seunghyun chokes on his next planned comeback for Bom. The mere idea of playing with Bom dies in his head upon mention of the word "boyfriend."
They had never even agreed to being... that. Well no, they did agree on not being a one time thing. But they just sort of... happened as a result of pent up sexual frustration for each other. Could they even be called that? It's not like their whole relationship was sex but-
"Earth to alien boy!" Bom calls to him, breaking Seunghyun from his thoughts but all he can give her is a blank expression.
"CL-Roo, I think you broke him!" Dara comments from across the room.
Seunghyun awkwardly shuffles the papers in front of him before changing the subject.
________
It's late at night, and Seunghyun wants to sleep, but the conversation he had in the studio has been bugging him all day.
What were they?
Seunghyun lies in bed, thinking alone when Seungri finally enters after brushing his teeth (with his own toothbrush this time). He smiles and climbs into bed with Seunghyun, snuggles into him while holding him around the waist. Seunghyun holds him back and sighs.
"Seungri, what are we?" Seungri pulls himself away and looks up at Seunghyun.
"What do you mean?"
Seunghyun sighs. "I mean, we're boyfriends, right? I know that... during that time in the bathroom-- but we've never officially-- you know?" Seunghyun rambles, nervousness getting the best of him. Seungri just gives him a dumbfounded look before laughing.
"Well, I sure haven't been seeing anyone else. And I haven't wanted to. Have you?" Seungri asks, but there's no doubt, no real questioning in his voice. Seunghyun's worrying seems like such a non-issue then.
Seunghyun sighs before pulling him into a kiss. "Of course not. I don't know why I even asked."
They are boyfriends.
Seunghyun kisses him again, slower and deeper. He brushes his hand into Seungri's hair and holds it there, holds him there. Seungri responds by running a hand down Seunghyun's side before resting it on his hip. Seunghyun pulls back, looks into Seungri's eyes. They share a silent moment of trust and caring before Seunghyun holds him close and closes his eyes. Seungri holds him back before they both fall asleep.
_____________
Life doesn't stop once everyone gets used to it. They're all still busy as hell with promotions. Sometimes they're caught being too close, but Seunghyun can't find it in himself to care.
o lawd. let me say first of all, this is my longest fic, ever. negl there is some pride in that. I started writing after the inki thing and then they. just. kept. shipping. themselves. so this fic turned into a mini monster! anyway, fucking brotastic thanks to biases for beta-ing for me. I really needed the concrit!! also I have a pretty good idea of what happens where and when but had to wing it a bit and not have specific dates because every website ever deletes big bang's schedule when a new month comes along. so sorry if the timeline seems a bit.. off. comments and critique are loved, you know the deal!!
Pairing: TopRi(SeunghyunxSeungri)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: romance
Word count: 9387 (!)
Summary: It's not until the next day that Seunghyun realizes that he might just be a little infatuated with Seungri.
Watching the parody together is something Seunghyun knows they have to do for TV, but still doesn't want to. It was already awkward enough when they watched it during Big Show rehearsal. It was even more awkward filming it. Having to kiss his band mates, his family more than once for the "right shot" was like torture. The only thing worse now is that their reactions are being filmed for broadcast.
When his kiss with Seungri comes up, Seunghyun sees out of the corner of his eye Seungri laughing awkwardly, trying to pretend like he thinks it is actually funny. Seunghyun tries his hardest to keep a straight face. Tries his hardest not to remember the way Seungri's lips felt on his own. Tries his hardest not to remember Seungri's smaller body shaking in his hold out of nervousness despite Seungri's refusal to push away on cue, causing Seunghyun to kiss him longer than expected.
The scene is over just about as quickly as it had started. Seunghyun thinks he is safe until the very next scene is his kiss with Jiyong. There is a brief moment of panic over having to witness himself perv on his band mates again, but it isn't like the tension he felt while watching his and Seungri's scene.
It was weird though because kissing Jiyong was different. It wasn't awkward at all. Maybe it was just because Jiyong was easier to get along with than Seungri. Off camera, Seungri was a mess, fidgeting around and laughing when his nervousness got the best of him. Even though he had to kiss Jiyong more than once for the sake of angles, Jiyong didn't make a big deal out of it. Jiyong made a bigger deal out of having to wear fishnet stockings and high heels than he did having to kiss Seunghyun.
_________
They're on set. The camera's rolling, people are standing around in silence. Seungri is there in front of him with his ridiculous wig and over-sized sunglasses. How many times had they practiced? How many times had he gone over this scenario in his head?
The director yells for them to start and Seunghyun gets into character, but it's wrong. The roles are reversed. He's not kissing Seungri; Seungri is kissing him. Seunghyun struggles in his hold, which is surprisingly strong, trying to back away as Seungri shoves his tongue down his throat. He swears he feels Seungri's lips smirk against his own.
This wasn't in the fucking script.
When Seungri pulls away, he's no longer in costume but instead looks like he always does. Signature smirk, perfectly gelled hair, enormous eye bags. Seunghyun is sure from the heat he feels in his cheeks that he's blushing. What is going on?
Before anyone can answer him, his phone alarm rings noisily and he struggles to find it and shut the damn thing off. After he finally finds it under the mess on his nightstand he immediately recalls the dream he just had. He groans and throws his head back into the pillows. It was going to be a long and awkward day of practice.
________
Seunghyun feels like picking on one of his dongsaengs. But who? Of course, the universe dictates Seungri because Daesung isn't around for Seunghyun to dote on and Jiyong is with them. Not to mention the fact that they were going to be filmed and Seunghyun would not miss an opportunity to embarrass Seungri on national television. He just has to make sure he keeps his "feelings" in check.
Seungri does a pretty good job of ignoring him and it kind of pisses Seunghyun off. He remarks that Seungri is wearing shoe lifts and Seungri smiles. Seunghyun pulls him ungently to rile him up, but they both end up laughing. Seunghyun holds his hand on the way to the restaurant and daringly makes remarks to the camera about Seungri's feelings on their kiss, but he is ignored. Seunghyun half jokes at the camera that he's having an identity crisis because of the parody in a lame attempt to get Seungri to just look at him. It doesn't work just in time for them to arrive at the restaurant.
Seunghyun focuses on eating until Jiyong and Youngbae finally join in on picking on the maknae. They all fail to get a reaction out of him since he defaults to a blank face whenever his hyungs pick on him. Only Seunghyun gets him to smile when he jokes about Seungri trying to kill him with scissors. It's not as fun as making him mad, but Seunghyun still appreciates it in a way.
It's not until the next day that Seunghyun realizes that he might just be a little infatuated with Seungri.
__________
Seunghyun begins to hate himself a little.
He can't stand how he likes how Seungri smiles by baring all of his teeth or how many times he blinks when he feels he's saying something important or how he laughs like a cackling witch. He can't stand how he continues to notice these things and how it makes him feel.
Seunghyun hates himself so much that he lets it affect his performance. Not like he wants to be the best dancer ever, but he keeps messing up the simplest and most noticeable of moves. When they play back a recording of their practice rehearsal for "Tonight" Jiyong is quick to point out he wasn't doing this or that right.
It's not like they have time to go through it over and over again anyway, seeing as they have to be at the SBS studios for Inkigayo soon. Jiyong just tells him to "get it right for broadcast" before they all head out.
Backstage is loud and bustling with people hurrying up to make everything perfect. Stylists fuss over all of them without stopping. Seunghyun is sick of it, wants nothing more to get the night over. The rest of the group is perceptive to his mood and stays away from him.
They perform a million times for the perfect shots, but it's all worth it since they win. Seunghyun is happy, but his negative mood and the amount of times they had to perform has worn him out. Not to mention the fact that he can't stop noticing how good Seungri looks in those jeans. He forces himself to do a little jig for the sake of broadcast, to at least make himself appear happy, when unexpectedly Seungri grabs him and joins him in his dance.
Seunghyun immediately stops. His little half smile fades and he tries not to let Seungri pull him into any sort of embrace. Seungri picks up on his body language. Their eyes meet and when Seungri notices that his hyung's mood had not improved at all, his smile fades and he backs away. Seunghyun doesn't look at him, he knows Seungri is upset. He nonchalantly moves to the other side of the stage and lazily does the encore.
Before they leave for the dorms, Jiyong pulls Seunghyun aside while the others wait in the van.
"What the hell is wrong with you today?" Jiyong asks, leader tone in full effect. When Seunghyun doesn't respond, Jiyong gets angry, his tone a fierce whisper. "You better get your fucking shit together or-" he begins to warn. Seunghyun remains quiet, Jiyong takes it as some sort of smugness. "Are you even listening?"
"Yes."
"Well you're doing a shitty job at it like the rest of today. This isn't just us or you, Seunghyun hyung. This is Big Bang. This is all of us." Jiyong takes a moment and sighs, changes his expression, changes his game plan. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Jiyong offers.
"I don't know." Seunghyun avoids Jiyong's gaze. The ground seems like an appropriate place to look.
"Don't lie. It's my responsibility to know what's going on within the group. Is it something one of the guys did? Did Seungri run his mouth again or what?"
Seunghyun laughs then, short and awkward with a bit of a sarcastic tone. There was absolutely nothing funny about what Jiyong said.
"I'm having an identity crisis." Seunghyun laughs again.
"Over what? Whether you're a human or an alien?" Jiyong rolls his eyes.
"If I'm gay for one of my dongsaengs or not," Seunghyun thinks to himself, but remains quiet until Jiyong gives in and they both head for the van.
___________
It's not like Seungri makes anything easier.
Seunghyun feels like an ass the next morning when he wakes up to a text message from Seungri.
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
9:09AM xx/xx/xx
I'm sorry, feel better today, TOP hyung~! Hwaiting!! \(^0^/
Seunghyun runs a hand through his bed head and sighs. He thinks about it for a minute before deciding to send a message back.
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
9:12AM xx/xx/xx
no, hyung is sorry. i'll make it up to you. do you have any free time today?? we could go for ice cream and hyung will pay.
_____________
They had been here before. It was during the free time before they had to film Big Bang TV and the others had voted them to get everyone ice cream from this particular shop.
Seungri orders the same thing he had nearly a week ago: vanilla and banana chocolate stacked high in a waffle cone. Seunghyun hates himself for remembering as he bitterly eats his one scoop of sugar free vanilla.
They walk down the street, eating their ice cream in silence until Seungri, who could never keep his mouth shut, says something. "What's up with you lately anyway, hyung?"
Seunghyun knew it was coming. His attitude was the whole reason he was buying Seungri ice cream.
"Just stress," Seunghyun lies.
"We're all stressed, hyung. You shouldn't let it get to you like that." Seungri looks hurt when he says the last bit of his sentence. "'Specially when Jiyong hyung bitches you out about it," Seungri continues with a mouth full of ice cream.
Seunghyun pales and Seungri rolls his eyes. "We all saw your little talk the other night."
"Oh... you did huh?"
"Yeah." Seungri pauses. "You know, instead of leader lecturing you, you could talk to someone instead." Seungri pauses again, takes another bite of ice cream. "You could talk to me," he mutters and Seunghyun nearly misses it, but he pretends like he does miss it and they stay silent the entire walk back to the dorms.
_____________
Recording for MNet Soundplex is pretty boring, Seunghyun has to admit. They're only halfway into their promotions and he's already sick of it. It's all the same. Come in, talk, sing, and dance. Rinse. Repeat.
When he and Jiyong are done performing, he has to introduce Seungri and hates himself for stuttering while calling him "sexy." Damn the script.
The first half of recording is just them performing and Seunghyun just goes through the motions. He gets a bit of nostalgia performing with Jiyong for broadcast even though their promotions didn't end that long ago. He lets himself enjoy the other's solo stages, even enough to do the "crack, crack" dance with Youngbae when it's Seungri's turn, enjoying Seungri's stage probably more than he should.
After they all perform, they do the interview section. The female MC doesn't seem sure how to handle them half the time, so Seunghyun drifts in and out of the conversations going on around him. He's forced to pay attention when it's time to answer single questions from fans.
When Seunghyun looks as his question, he groans inwardly. "What is bare skin to TOP?" Hearing and seeing questions about his body were just about as old as Youngbae's hairstyle. But he answers the question anyway, along with the female MC's additional questions. He lies through his teeth. There would be no way he'd allow his bare body to be permanent on film. He'd made that mistake once already.
Just as he thinks this, Daesung has to joke about how supposedly muscular his body is. Seunghyun thinks he's wrong. He's not muscular at all. Not flabby anymore, but nowhere near muscular. Seunghyun laughs along with the joke anyway.
Seunghyun pretty much ignores the other's questions. Drifts in and out of the conversation, but doesn't really care to know how Youngbae feels about girls for the billionth time. Or talk about Daesung's bed scene for at least the hundredth time.
He's forced to pay attention again, however, when the female MC cuts Seungri off saying he changed his question. This should be interesting. Seunghyun thinks this is a great opportunity for them to pick on the maknae when Seungri reads the real question:
"What is TOP to Seungri?"
What? Why couldn't he answer that? Why did he change it? Why was that even a fucking question?
Seunghyun puts on an awkward smile, trying to seem like he's enjoying the situation, when really he just wants to hide. He knows he can't; he knows the cameras are pinned on him for his reactions.
Seunghyun waits for the worst when Seungri says the most ridiculous god damn thing he could say.
"TOP hyung is almond, therefore I will be a peanut. We make a good flavor."
Seunghyun can't stop laughing. Of all the things for him to say. He can't say, "Oh he's a good hyung" or anything like that? Seunghyun smiles despite himself because only Seungri.
After a moment, Seungri says what everyone expects him to say. Talks about how Seunghyun is a good hyung and the age gap. It's when Seungri says that Seunghyun is his reason for living that suddenly his microphone becomes very interesting to play with. Everyone laughs like it's a big joke. It doesn't sound like a joke at all.
Of course then the female MC has to ask him how he feels about Seungri. He can't exactly say he's dealing with a gay crush on him, so he just says what he's expected to say. Seungri is cute and is a dongsaeng that should be cherished. It's true, even though they're just words appropriate for TV, he does mean them.
Seunghyun thinks after that that they can finally move on from this stupid subject when the female MC just has to push his buttons one last time and tells them to hug. Show everyone how close they are.
Seunghyun reluctantly gets up and stands there awkwardly. Seungri says he has an idea. He tells Seunghyun to stay there. Seunghyun just waits, afraid and nervous as fuck. Keeps reminding himself to keep the hug TV appropriate because the thought of holding Seungri is putting way too many inappropriate thoughts into his head.
What he doesn't expect is for Seungri to run and jump on him. Seunghyun freaks out. He has no idea where to put his hands. He grabs the backs of Seungri's thighs on instinct, wanting to keep him from falling, but the heat radiating through his hands is too much. It doesn't matter because Seungri is holding himself up just fine. So fine in fact, that the heat from Seungri's tightly wrapped legs around his waist is doing things to him that he can't handle dealing with on national TV. His position is so provocative. Why isn't anyone stopping him?
Seunghyun just barely sees Seungri start to fall before burying his face in his hands, but Seunghyun knows he dances all the way down until he's completely on the floor. Seunghyun covers his face half out of embarrassment, half out of arousal. None of the fangirls can out-scream the sound of his heart beating or the blood pumping in his ears.
Backstage, Seungri can't seem to meet his eyes. That's fine since Seunghyun can't meet his either.
Later that night, the constant reminder of the "hug" eventually makes Seunghyun give into his lust. He touches himself to the thoughts of Seungri's warm body wrapped tightly around him, a mix of guilt and arousal clouding his mind.
__________
Seunghyun arrives to the photo shoot last. It's at some new studio across town, way too far away from his apartment. He wasn't one for being on time anyway. He liked being fashionably late.
The stylists get his hair and make-up done quick. The eye make-up is too heavy and a bit smoky. The outfits aren't any better. They force him into tight leather pants before making him climb in a bathtub for his single shots. Seunghyun just goes along with the motions, really wishing he could just go back home and sleep. He thinks about just going back to the dorms, not really concentrating on modeling. Maybe the dorms were closer than his apartment. He could spend more time sleeping then.
He's jarred from his thoughts when one of the stylists waves yellow tape at him and then points behind him. Seunghyun turns around to see Seungri and inwardly groans. Images of his own dirty deeds concerning the maknae come back to him and he's embarrassed to say the least.
Seungri's make-up is just as heavy and ridiculous as his own. His hair is gelled and done up all crazy. Not to mention he is wearing a skirt. He looks like some dirty teenaged rebel like they were supposed to, but it works on Seungri. Or maybe Seungri himself is just appealing to Seunghyun. He doesn't want to think about it.
The stylist smushes them together. Seunghyun feels Seungri's body heat on his side and it makes him nervous and tense. At least he doesn't have to look at him.
The stylist wraps them up in the tape, making them even closer. Seunghyun holds his breath and silently curses to himself. It's uncomfortable, but he stays put like a good model-- that is until the stylist tries to work the tape between his legs. He steps back.
"Uhh-- that's not-" Seunghyun stutters.
"It's fine, it's fine!" She assures. It isn't assuring at all.
She doesn't touch him more than she has to, but it's still unnerving. On top of some lady nearly touching his dick, he hears Seungri snickering from beside him. He knows the maknae is laughing at him. If only Seunghyun could slap that smirk from his face.
The camera begins to take pictures and everything seems fine. Seunghyun poses, works his facial expressions, all is well. But then, Seungri leans into him. He tips his head back onto Seunghyun's shoulder. Seungri's hair tickles the side of his neck. He feels Seungri back flex against his shoulder and his ass rub into the side of his thigh. Seunghyun is helpless and just lets it happen. Seungri is just posing. That's all. Nothing more.
When their shoot finally ends, Seunghyun rips himself along with a good majority of the tape away from Seungri.
Thankfully the group shots from then on allow Seunghyun to stand by everyone who is not Seungri.
______________
After their ninth win is when they decide to celebrate. Three triple crowns is a big deal, YG practically insists upon throwing them a party even with their schedules. It's nothing huge. A small get-together in the cafeteria of the YG building with some of YG family and other friends. There is a cake involved, and of course, copious amounts of alcohol.
They all have a good time. Seunghyun watches with Daesung from the sidelines, occasionally sipping his drink and having a casual conversation with his friend. He points out Jiyong playing drinking games with Chaerin and Seungho and losing. They share a laugh at that. Daesung catches Youngbae awkwardly hitting on Dara and Bom coming to Dara's "rescue." They both notice Dongwook endlessly teasing Minji poking her saying "Ero-Minji! Ero-Minji!" They both wave to Teddy when he makes a brief appearance.
And nearing the middle of the party, they both notice how loud and rowdy Seungri gets when he's especially drunk. Seunghyun, however, is the only one to notice when he drunkenly staggers down the hall away from the others. He feels some responsibility as a hyung and some other concern he'd rather not think about and gets up to follow him, telling Daesung he'll be right back.
There is a voice in the back of his head telling him to let it go, that this was a bad idea. But no one else was paying attention to him. And he wasn't about to let Seungri hurt himself.
He finds Seungri in an empty hallway, leaning against the wall with a sleepy smile across his face, probably ready to pass out. When Seunghyun gets close enough, Seungri opens his eyes and smiles.
"Hey, hyung."
"Hey yourself. You ok?" Seunghyun walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder, reminding himself that he means nothing by it, it's just supposed to be a comforting gesture, nothing more.
"Mmm... tired," Seungri responds lazily, drawing out the words slowly. Seungri blinks up at Seunghyun, his eyes half lidded and glazed over with a small smirk to match them.
"You shouldn't drink so much, maknae," Seunghyun warns out of genuine concern. Seungri just smiles and closes his eyes before moving closer to Seunghyun.
"You should hold me like you did the other day," Seungri mumbles before draping his body over Seunghyun's. "I can't hold myself up this time, though," he slurs.
Seungri becomes dead weight instantly so Seunghyun has no choice but to keep him upright. Seungri's body is heavy and warm in his arms. Seunghyun tries to adjust him in his hold to keep him from falling and jostles him upright a bit. Seungri's head tips back and then they're face to face. Seunghyun's breath catches and he realizes he's in quite a predicament. All his confusing feelings he's felt in the past few weeks rush back to him in that moment and he can't do anything other than stare down at Seungri's flushed face and slightly parted lips.
Seungri opens his eyes again, staring straight back into Seunghyun's own. He examines Seunghyun's face for a moment, before looking down at the position they're in, and then looking back up again. Seunghyun doesn't know if he looks scared or turned on or both, but Seungri obviously sees something that makes him regain his footing, lean up, and kiss Seunghyun without hesitation.
Seunghyun feels the tips of his ears burn when Seungri's full, soft lips connect with his own. God they're soft, so fucking soft. This is nothing like their kiss for the parody.
Seunghyun feels heat spread from his chest to his limbs when Seungri presses insistently into him with his whole body, more so with his lips. Seunghyun presses right back. Seungri's fingers curl into his arms, silently pleading for more and Seunghyun takes Seungri's lower lip into his mouth and gently sucks on it. Seungri gasps and then Seunghyun connects their open mouths. He wraps his tongue around Seungri's own, enjoying the wet, warm heat of Seungri's mouth. Then Seungri lets out a loud whine and Seunghyun breaks them apart abruptly, reality crashing down on him.
Seunghyun freaks out. He just made out with his dongsaeng, his bandmate, his friend. Despite his crush and Seungri initiating he felt wrong. Seungri was drunk, he probably kissed a lot of people when he was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. Seunghyun should have fucking know better.
Seunghyun gently pushes a confused Seungri away and walks back to the party, grabs his jacket, and leaves without a word.
_______________
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
2:16AM xx/xx/xx
I don't regret it.
Seunghyun blinks at the message a few times, still tired and groggy from sleep. After he left last night he had made the nearest manager he found drive him all the way to his own apartment. He stumbled in, downed a glass of wine, and fell asleep. So when he wakes up in the morning to a text message Seungri probably made when he was still partially drunk, he's hungover and throws his phone across the bed and ignores it.
____________
Seunghyun manages to ignore Seungri until they all have to be at their next stage recording. Seunghyun acts like Seungri doesn't even exist. He doesn't say hello, just gets his hair and make-up done in silence. Of course, Jiyong notices and when Seunghyun meets his eyes Jiyong gives him a warning look that tells Seunghyun to get his act together.
Seunghyun does a good job of ignoring Seungri until Seungri makes his presence known.
"Hyung, we need to talk," Seungri says, suddenly appearing before him. Before Seunghyun can say anything, Seungri grabs his hand and leads them out of the waiting room. Outside there are even more people so Seungri leads them through various hallways to get away. Seunghyun doesn't want to talk to Seungri. He especially doesn't want Seungri to take him somewhere private.
Seungri eventually finds an empty bathroom and pushes them inside and locks the door. Seunghyun tears his arm away from Seungri's grasp immediately. He would have done so earlier if he was not afraid of making a scene. Seungri spares a glance at Seunghyun's action before looking him in the face.
"Do I disgust you that much? Do I make you that mad?" Seungri whisper-yells at him. Seunghyun doesn't meet his eyes. "You know, I got over the whole you ignoring me during our encore thing, but this is different. You can't just buy me ice cream and say you're sorry this time."
"I know."
"I wish you would just decide what you want. You kiss me, then you hate me. I'm fucking sick of it," Seungri raises his voice and Seunghyun flinches.
"I'm sorry."
"Is that all you have to say?" Seungri looks ready to hit him. But there's a desperation in his eyes, making Seunghyun feel guilty. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Seungri. He knows he messed up bad.
"No, I just--" Seunghyun chokes on his words before they die in his throat. Seungri shakes his head and sighs.
"You could at least, I don't know, turn me down to my face. You didn't have to get my hopes up then act like I don't even fucking exist." Seungri stops and Seunghyun knows he's waiting for Seunghyun to say something, but Seunghyun can't find the words. "Do you even know how long I've liked you? Just because I was drunk doesn't mean I wouldn't kiss you if I was sober." Seungri mutters before he turns to leave.
There are so many things Seunghyun wants to say to that, but he's floored in disbelief that Seungri just admitted to liking him and not only that, apparently for a while. Seunghyun feels stupid and guilty and overall frustrated. He's not going to let Seungri just leave, he can'tt. Seunghyun stops Seungri before his hand can even reach the door.
"Me either," Seunghyun admits, finally finding the courage to speak up. His heart is racing and he's nervous as hell and it is probably the lamest confession ever.
"You what?"
"I would. Kiss you. Drunk or sober." Seunghyun holds his breath, waits for Seungri to laugh at him or continue leaving. Seungri's feelings for him might already be out in the open, but doubt is still there lingering in the back of his mind. He doesn't quite expect Seungri to rush toward him and pull him down by his shirt collar to kiss him.
Despite the shock of Seungri's sudden action, Seunghyun quickly takes the lead, pulling Seungri into him. It's so much different from before. There's a fire, a heat that wasn't there before. Seunghyun's not sure if it's anger or passion but then Seungri bites at his lips, causing Seunghyun to flinch backwards into the wall and let out a pained sound. A mix of both.
"Fuck you for not texting me back. Fuck you," Seungri hisses before moving in to kiss him again.
Seunghyun's mouth opens ever so slightly from the surprise and Seungri pushes it the rest of the way with his tongue. Their teeth clack almost painfully because of Seungri's forcefulness. Seunghyun can't say he hates it. He's wanted this for too long to hate it.
However, he does hate the lack of control, so he switches their positions. Seunghyun turns them and pushes Seungri into the wall, covers Seungri's body with his own as he continues kissing him. But Seungri's always been a prideful, resentful brat and keeps trying to control the situation until Seunghyun pulls his head back.
"Stop." Seunghyun holds Seungri's arms down at his sides and pushes his body up in the process, connecting them in a new way. Seungri sighs and tilts his head back. Seunghyun lets out a gasp of his own before he freezes, watching Seungri's face contort into pleasure.
"Do that again, hyung," Seungri demands but Seunghyun doesn't want to give him what he wants.
"Say please," Seunghyun challenges. Seungri needs to be taught a lesson on who the older one is here. Seungri glares at him. Seunghyun keeps his smug expression.
"Fucking please." Seungri puts on a show; it's not real begging, it's more like really bad acting. However, Seunghyun figures it's good enough and presses his hips up again, rubbing their growing arousals together.
Seunghyun forgets Seungri's attitude and instead focuses on the soft sighs and gasps escaping Seungri's lips as he rocks his hips forward. This is nothing like he could ever have imagined. Any fantasies he's come up with in the past week can't compare to this.
Seunghyun starts a rhythm between them, creating a friction and heat between their bodies. Seunghyun feels Seungri harden against him and it makes him hot; it gives him pleasure knowing he's pleasing someone else.
Seunghyun leans forward and persuades Seungri to tilt his head back down so they can kiss. It's different again; no longer crossing the line between passion and anger but just simply being passionate. And this time, Seungri doesn't try to take over, he opens his mouth and lets Seunghyun take the lead.
Seungri pants into his mouth and bucks into him. It makes Seunghyun feel weird while being incredibly turned on at the same time. He's never done anything like this with another man. Hell, he's never done anything like this with anyone. They were practically having fully-clothed sex in a public restroom.
Seungri continues to press back into Seunghyun as much as he could, his arms still being held down by Seunghyun. His sighs turn into moans as Seunghyun presses harder.
"Hyung," Seungri leans in to whisper, "make me come."
Seunghyun shivers at the thought, at the words. He moves his hips harder, making Seungri bite back broken moans as he shudders, trying to keep quiet. Seunghyun forgets about his own hard-on and focuses completely on Seungri. Just watching him is thrilling enough, but he couldn't draw this out any longer. They had been gone too long. Seunghyun moves intent on getting it over with, despite his body screaming at him not to.
Seunghyun watches Seungri stiffen with a choked sob, then slump forward. Seunghyun lets go of his arms and holds him, lets Seungri catch his breath on his neck. It's only for a few moments before Seungri is pushing past him to one of the stalls behind him without a word. Seunghyun assumes he's cleaning himself up.
Seunghyun wasn't about to ask about reciprocation just yet nor did he want to take care of himself, so he just adjusts himself and hopes his erection goes away. Seungri comes out of the stall just as Seunghyun is checking his appearance in the mirror. Seungri appears beside him and does the same as he washes his hands before looking Seunghyun up and down.
"Do you want me to--?"
"Not now."
"Ok. "
There's an unspoken awkwardness and tension in the room. Seunghyun can feel it surrounding them. Seungri dries his hands slowly, drawing out the process. Seunghyun feels like he should say something, but Seungri beats him to the punch.
"You know, hyung. I don't-- I don't want this to be a one time thing. With you." Seungri doesn't look at him, but just stares vacantly into the mirror. Seunghyun relaxes at his words. The tension in the room fades.
"Me either," Seunghyun agrees with a smile. Seungri blinks at him a few times before smiling back, a small smile turning into a teeth-baring grin making Seunghyun's heart beat a little faster.
"Are you ready to go?" Seungri asks after a moment. Seunghyun fakes thinking about it for a second before he leans in and kisses Seungri one last time.
"Now I am." Seunghyun smiles. Seungri smiles back.
When they come back into their waiting room a few minutes later, the others each give them questioning and judging glances. And somehow, even with Seungri's fail acting, they manage to act like nothing happened.
Later that night at the dorms, Seunghyun had just finished showering and is going to go to bed when he receives a text.
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
11:56PM xx/xx/xx
Goodnight, Hyung~~ <3
Seunghyun smiles like an idiot. He only wishes he could say this to Seungri directly as he texts a "goodnight" back.
_______
All the frustration and tension leaves Seunghyun after that day. He's on cloud nine. He doesn't mess up at practice. He makes it look like there's only fanservice between him and Seungri. He even gets a compliment from Jiyong on his improvement.
Everything is awesome.
Whenever he catches Seungri's gaze in the mirrors in the dance studio, Seungri smiles and looks elsewhere. Seunghyun can't help but smile himself, knowing he has that effect on him.
When they take a break, Seungri walks over to Seunghyun and starts poking him and making comments like, "I like your outfit today" and, "You look handsome." Seunghyun pretends like he doesn't love it for the sake of the others in the room.
"What's up with you today? Did you break something of mine?" Seunghyun jokes, making everyone within earshot laugh. Seungri just shrugs. Seunghyun pats him on the head like any of the others would, but lets his hand linger just a bit longer than it should.
Seunghyun feels great up until the point Daesung corners him.
"You guys are so obvious."
Seunghyun nearly spits out his water.
"W-what?"
Daesung rolls his eyes. "You and Seungri."
Seunghyun feigns innocence. He laughs like it's a big joke. Daesung just stares at him. Seunghyun gives up on pretending after a moment. He knows Daesung isn't stupid.
"Don't tell anyone ok?" Seunghyun pleads in a whisper. Daesung just smiles.
"Of course not, hyung. I just wanted you to know that Jiyongie hyung is this close to figuring it out." Daesung makes a show with his fingers to prove his point. Seunghyun just stares at them.
"And what does that mean?" Seunghyun asks.
"We're in the middle of promotions plus we're in a group together. You know the first thing he's going to think of is you two breaking up the band," Daesung points out. Seunghyun panics a bit. They've barely even started. It's been one day. It's like they weren't even getting a chance to have a secret relationship.
"We're that obvious, huh?" Seunghyun frowns.
"Yep."
The rest of dance practice, Seunghyun doesn't smile at Seungri or anyone. He focuses completely on his dancing and nothing else. It's not until after practice that Seungri catches on.
"What happened? What did Daesung say to you?" Seungri asks as they walk down the halls together. Seunghyun looks around before replying.
"We have to be more secretive, ok? He said we're really obvious." Seunghyun quickly reaches down and gives Seungri's hand a squeeze before letting go. He times it with a smile.
"Would it be obvious if we snuck off and continued what we were doing the other day?" Seungri smirks. Seunghyun chuckles a bit.
"Yeah it would. We have a schedule y'know," Seunghyun reminds forlornly. Seungri pouts before they head outside and into the van.
___________
Schedule, it turns out, is one hell of a bitch.
It seems like every time Seunghyun wants to be alone with Seungri they're either busy promoting or sleeping or are on completely opposite sides of town.
Seunghyun is fed up, to be honest.
As they exit the stage after the announcing of the winner, Seunghyun looks around before he grabs Seungri, pushes him into a dark corner and gives him a quick, hard kiss before dragging him along to be with the others. When Seunghyun turns to look back and smirk at Seungri, the maknae is blushing. Seunghyun smiles so big that his dimples show.
He doesn't care much about being caught. No one was there to seem them anyway. Everyone was doing their own thing.
They all high five and bow to passerbys as they make their way back to their waiting room to change. Everyone is congratulating them on a job well done and Seunghyun is of course humbled, but wants nothing more than to take Seungri somewhere dark and quiet and burn off the excess energy he has from the stage. Yes, that would be nice, take him somewhere where they could become nothing but a mixture of hushed whispers and hot touches--
"Hyung, just go. Just take him and go," Jiyong says, suddenly appearing beside Seunghyun who nearly jumps out of his skin and off the couch. He's speechless at the leader's words. Did Jiyong just give him the okay to go do dirty things with Seungri? Jiyong rolls his eyes at Seunghyun's confused expression.
"I fucking saw you mack on him just a minute ago." Jiyong's voice is in a harsh whisper, careful of the people around them. "God, you're lucky there aren't any cameras this one time. I would seriously skin you alive." The tips of Seunghyun's ears burn red from embarrassment. "And don't think I haven't noticed what's been going on between you two before either. Just take it somewhere else before other people notice."
"Thanks," Seunghyun mumbles as he takes out his phone. He could kiss the ground Kwon Jiyong walks on right now. Jiyong knows it too.
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
10:32PM xx/xx/xx
leader gave us permission to leave. just us.
Seunghyun catches Seungri's confused glance from across the room. Seunghyun is guessing that he's probably wondering why Seunghyun doesn't just tell him this.
From: maknae
xxxxxxxxxx
10:34PM xx/xx/xx
What do you mean 'just us'? ^^; Why are we texting each other, hyung?
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
10:39PM xx/xx/xx
i mean just us so we can go.. do stuff. together. alone. that's why we're texting.
Seunghyun catches Seungri's surprised expression once he reads the message. It even looks like he reads it a few times to make sure it's real. Then he becomes so obviously sneaky in such a Seungri way that Seunghyun almost facepalms.
From: TOP TOP TOP Hyung~
xxxxxxxxxx
10:41PM xx/xx/xx
be cool. stop looking around. look, you leave first. make up some bullshit about having to meet your friends or something if anyone asks and go wait by our van outside.
Seungri does as he's told, although awkwardly. He even steals a glance at Seunghyun before leaving the room and Seunghyun rolls his eyes. Jiyong, who is still sitting beside him, giggles into the back of his hand.
"Shut up," Seunghyun complains.
"I just find it cute, hyung," Jiyong says through his giggles.
"No you don't. You're mocking me." Seunghyun turns and glares at Jiyong who pretends to think about it, putting on a show by tilting his head and making cute expressions before bursting out laughing.
"You're right, I am." Jiyong's giggling was beginning to annoy Seunghyun. He decides to leave earlier than intended to escape Jiyong's mocking. He thinks someone might notice since it had only been a couple minutes, but shrugs and gets up anyway. Thankfully, Jiyong has no snarky comments for his exit.
Seunghyun makes his way to the parking garage just fine without bumping into anyone asking where he was going. When he spots their van, he also spots Seungri standing next to it, shaking. Once Seungri sees him coming, he makes a big fuss.
"I can't believe you told me to go first, it's freaking freezing out here!" Seungri complains and glares through his shivering.
"Well, I guess we'll have to warm you up." Seunghyun covers Seungri's body with his own as he pushes him up against the van and kisses him. Any other complaints Seungri had are forgotten as he submits to the kiss. Seunghyun keeps it brief, however, since they are still in a public place. "Later," Seunghyun promises before Seungri can protest.
Seunghyun turns to lean against the van next to Seungri rather than practically on top of him and takes out his cell phone to call a cab. When he's done, he looks over to see Seungri shivering again. Seunghyun sighs and pulls him into a half hug.
They wait for the cab to arrive in silence, Seungri trying to further burrow himself into Seunghyun with every couple of minutes that passes by. Seunghyun just holds him tighter until he eventually lets Seungri curl into his front, still only holding on to him with one arm. Seunghyun allows himself to bury his face into Seungri's hair, enjoying the softness and the warmth radiating off him. He plants a kiss onto his head before he lets go as the cab arrives.
The cab driver praises them and says things like "my daughter is a big fan of yours" and Seunghyun smiles as Seungri eats it up and offers an autograph. Seunghyun likes Seungri's adoration for their fans. He was one the few people not jaded from stardom and Seunghyun admired that.
They reach Seunghyun's apartment in ten minutes. The cab driver heavily discounts their trip on account of Seungri being a generous celebrity. As they walk up to the door, Seungri begins to shiver again. His teeth are chattering when Seunghyun is entering the code in the keypad.
"Still cold?" Seunghyun asks, grinning.
"No, you asshole, I'm shaking from excitement." Seungri rolls his eyes.
"How dare you talk to me that way. I should just leave your ungrateful ass out here." Seunghyun enters the apartment and begins to close the door on Seungri before he pushes his way in. Seunghyun laughs and closes the door before leading them upstairs. Seungri follows bitterly.
Seunghyun's apartment is impeccably clean and mostly empty which made sense seeing as he still spent a lot of time at the dorms. Seungri looks around before deciding to sit on the nice leather couch. Seunghyun hangs up his coat before joining him, sitting impossibly close.
"Please don't tell me I have to romance you," Seunghyun jokes into Seungri's ear before kissing his neck.
"No, just kiss me." Seunghyun moves up as Seungri turns his head and their lips meet.
The kiss starts out soft. Seunghyun gently cups the side of Seungri's face as he moves his lips against Seungri's. But Seungri is impatient and presses harder, forcing Seunghyun to press back more to regain control. Seungri eagerly opens his mouth before Seunghyun even begins to think about initiating it. He always wanted to be one step ahead; impatient.
Seunghyun slides his tongue inside and Seungri dominates for a moment as Seunghyun finds out that he's pretty skilled with his tongue. Seunghyun thinks about how skilled that tongue could be in other places.
Seunghyun runs a hand up and down Seungri's front as they kiss, making him shiver and becoming pliant again. Seunghyun moves impossibly closer as he dips his hand lower and into the inside of Seungri's thigh. He purposefully avoids Seungri's crotch and Seungri whines, annoyed and impatient. Seunghyun pulls away from Seungri's mouth to see him absolutely flushed, lips slightly swollen. Seunghyun smirks before moving to kiss Seungri's neck as he rubs Seungri's inner thigh.
He inhales the fade of Seungri's cologne and a hint of sweat from their earlier performance as he trails light kisses down Seungri's neck. Seunghyun bites the junction between Seungri's shoulder and neck and Seungri gasps. Seunghyun bites him again on another spot just to get Seungri to breathe that way again.
Seunghyun eventually stops being a cock-tease and gives in. He moves his hand to touch Seungri's already growing erection through his jeans. Seungri finally moans before pressing into Seunghyun's hand.
It doesn't take any persuading on Seungri's part to get Seunghyun to move things along. Seunghyun doesn't need it. Doesn't want it. Teasing Seungri was fun, but finally touching him was something else. To feel that heat in his hand makes him hotter than he ever thought he could be. Seunghyun can't wait anymore. He even un-does Seungri's pants with a little haste before he grabs a hold of Seungri's half hard cock.
It's exciting like this, bringing pleasure to another man. Even more exciting than that time in the bathroom. This time there's no rush, no secrecy. Seunghyun takes his time stroking up and down Seungri's cock, savoring the feel of him in his hand, making Seungri hard as he sucks on his pulse. Seungri makes little sighs and moans with every stroke, making Seunghyun speed up a little more, grasp a little tighter.
Seunghyun stops kissing on Seungri for a moment to look down and to watch Seungri's cock slide in and out of his hand. Seeing it is at least ten times hotter than the idea of it, but nothing beats the look of absolute pleasure on Seungri's face. His head is tilted back, eyes shut, soft gasps and sighs escaping his lips. There's even a bit of sweat on his brow.
Seunghyun watches his face as he speeds up his hand. Seungri lets out a loud whine at the speed change as he bites his lower lip, taking in sharp breaths. Seunghyun moves even faster, intent on making Seungri come. Seungri becomes a moaning, writhing mess, arching and bucking before coming with a loud cry, spilling himself onto Seunghyun's hand.
Seunghyun tries to relax him; he kisses his face and pats his hair soothingly. Seungri sits back into the couch, boneless and panting. When he opens his eyes after a few moments, he immediately pulls Seunghyun into a kiss. It's soft and slow, like Seunghyun expects but also doesn't want.
"This is the second time I've made you come without you returning the favor," Seunghyun reminds and Seungri gives him a chuckle.
"Too bad for you," Seungri jokes. Seunghyun glares at him before Seungri shakes his head. "I'm just kidding. Give me a minute, I'll blow you."
Seunghyun's face lights up.
"You serious?"
"Yeah." There's laughter in Seungri's voice.
After a hand wash and a switching of positions, Seungri is kneeling between Seunghyun's legs, undoing his pants slowly, teasing him. Seungri just smirks as Seunghyun glares down at him, way too worked up for foreplay.
Seunghyun's pants are eventually undone, leaving only his boxers in the way. Seungri snorts at the colorful patterns decorating them.
"Do you buy your socks and underwear from the same place?"
"What? No, fuck, that's a dumb question." Seunghyun gives Seungri a look of disbelief.
Seungri just shrugs and pulls them down regardless. Seunghyun's cock hits the air and he gasps and tilts his head back. He looks down just in time to see Seungri almost hesitantly grab it. He looks as if he's bracing himself before he leans forward and gives the head a small lick; a taste.
"You don't have to force yourself." Seunghyun reaches down and runs his hand down the side of Seungri's face. Seungri looks at him, defiant.
"No, I want to do it. Just- just give me a minute." His pride wouldn't allow him to back down.
Seungri leans forward again, this time taking Seunghyun's cock into his mouth. He pauses like he's adjusting to the taste before swirling his tongue around the head making Seunghyun groan. He starts rubbing his tongue along the underside in little slow, hard motions that makes Seunghyun let out embarrassing noises. When Seungri tongues the slit Seunghyun moans unexpectedly loud and curls his fingers into Seungri's hair.
Seungri takes him further into his mouth, what he can't take in is covered by his hand. He gives a slight suck, timing it with his hand and further rubbing of his tongue along the underside. Seunghyun sucks in a breath, it feels fucking amazing.
He continues like that, bobbing his head with slow sucks and turns of his wrist. It drives Seunghyun crazy, making him pant and bite his lips. It hasn't even been that long nor has Seungri done anything really exciting, but he's so worked up from touching Seungri earlier and everything Seungri has done with his mouth since that he's already close.
Seunghyun pushes Seungri's head down gently, urging him to speed up. Seungri gets the message and moves a little faster, sucks a little harder. Seunghyun tries to warn him of his impending orgasm, knowing that even without saying it, this was definitely Seungri's first time sucking cock, but all that comes out is a strangled moan as he comes in Seungri's mouth.
Unprepared, Seungri jolts back once the taste hits his tongue only to have the rest end up on his face. Seunghyun forgets all about the afterglow, apologizing like crazy as Seungri gets up and runs to the kitchen sink.
"Shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry, Ri. I meant to warn you." Seunghyun appears by his side, handing Seungri paper towels.
"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted." Seungri grimaces before glaring at Seunghyun.
Seunghyun laughs at Seungri's expense. Seungri shoves him.
___________
"What do I wear?" Seungri asks as he comes out of the bathroom into Seunghyun's bedroom, freshly showered with only a towel covering him.
Seunghyun, who had showered before him, tries not to get dirty thoughts as he goes to his pretty empty closet. Most of his stuff was still at the dorm. He rummages through various clothes until he finds a tshirt and a pair of less-than-colorful boxers for Seungri. Seungri shrugs, takes them, and lets his towel drop to the floor before putting them on. Seunghyun doesn't even pretend like he isn't staring at Seungri's lean torso and pale skin. Seungri just smirks as he throws the shirt over his head.
"Want a picture? I'd even sign it for you," Seungri offers sarcastically.
"No, I'd rather--" Seunghyun catches himself before something embarrassingly dirty slips out. Seungri gives him a look. "But not now because we're showered and I'm fuckin' tired." Seunghyun yawns for effect before climbing into the over-sized bed. Seungri follows by flopping onto it and giggling. Seunghyun laughs before scolding him. "C'mon, stop goofin' around."
Seunghyun lifts up the blankets, allowing Seungri to crawl underneath them. With some prodding, Seunghyun gets Seungri to lie on his side so Seunghyun can spoon him, it being impossible for him to sleep without holding something. Seunghyun holds him tight and sighs into the back of his head. Seungri grabs Seunghyun's hand that was loosely held at his waist and holds it against his chest with his own.
"I used your toothbrush," Seungri comments, disturbing the mood. Seunghyun lightly hits him before he smiles contentedly as he drifts off into sleep.
Everything was perfect.
______________
Seunghyun wakes up with a start, his cellphone blaring noisily from his nightstand. Seungri, who had shifted positions during the night, groans and curls into Seunghyun's front.
Seunghyun reluctantly leaves their collective heat, turns around and picks up his phone.
"Hello?"
"This is your wake up call, Seunghyun-sshi!" Seunghyun's manager shouts, too chipper for--whatever time it was.
"What time is it?" Seunghyun asks groggily as he rubs his face.
"Eleven thirty. Say, is Little Seunghyun there with you? Jiyong said he would be with you. He's not answering his phone." Seunghyun chokes on his yawn.
"Um no--I mean yes-- I mean I know where he is. On the couch. Yeah. He kept bugging me about spending time yeah, and then he got too drunk as this restaurant and my apartment was closer..." Seunghyun lies. He jumps a little when he feels Seungri pinch the skin on his back in retaliation for his lies.
"I see."
"Yeah."
"I'm sending a van to pick you two up in an hour. Got it?"
"Yes, hyung." With that he hung up.
"You're a terrible liar, hyung," Seungri says from behind him. Seunghyun turns around to smack him on the arm.
"Shut up. Did you want me to tell him the truth?" Seunghyun dares Seungri to say another word.
"Hm... Jiyong hyung probably already told him anyway," Seungri muses.
"Yeah, well... It's not like he knows what we did last night."
Seungri's eyebrows quirk up before he smirks and stretches onto his back, putting his body on display. His shirt rises, showing the pale skin and definition of his hip bones underneath. Seunghyun looks with interest.
"Or what we could be doing right now," Seungri suggests, a wicked look in his eyes.
Why the hell not? They had an hour after all.
_______________
Eventually everyone sort of just knows. Seunghyun first notices with small things, such as Daesung moving so he and Seungri can sit next to each other in the van or their manager suggesting to take both him and Seungri to Seunghyun's apartment.
But things get outright weird in the studio one evening. Seunghyun is in the studio with the 2NE1 girls, brushing up on some raps as the girls record their new tracks. Everything is fine for the first hour or so of recording until their first break. Seunghyun always loves to pick on Bom, she is an easy target and is cute when she got angry. However Seunghyun doesn't expect Chaerin to defend her in the weirdest of ways.
"If you're not nice to Bommie unnie then I'm going to be as twice as mean to your boyfriend tomorrow," she threatens, completely serious. Seunghyun chokes on his next planned comeback for Bom. The mere idea of playing with Bom dies in his head upon mention of the word "boyfriend."
They had never even agreed to being... that. Well no, they did agree on not being a one time thing. But they just sort of... happened as a result of pent up sexual frustration for each other. Could they even be called that? It's not like their whole relationship was sex but-
"Earth to alien boy!" Bom calls to him, breaking Seunghyun from his thoughts but all he can give her is a blank expression.
"CL-Roo, I think you broke him!" Dara comments from across the room.
Seunghyun awkwardly shuffles the papers in front of him before changing the subject.
________
It's late at night, and Seunghyun wants to sleep, but the conversation he had in the studio has been bugging him all day.
What were they?
Seunghyun lies in bed, thinking alone when Seungri finally enters after brushing his teeth (with his own toothbrush this time). He smiles and climbs into bed with Seunghyun, snuggles into him while holding him around the waist. Seunghyun holds him back and sighs.
"Seungri, what are we?" Seungri pulls himself away and looks up at Seunghyun.
"What do you mean?"
Seunghyun sighs. "I mean, we're boyfriends, right? I know that... during that time in the bathroom-- but we've never officially-- you know?" Seunghyun rambles, nervousness getting the best of him. Seungri just gives him a dumbfounded look before laughing.
"Well, I sure haven't been seeing anyone else. And I haven't wanted to. Have you?" Seungri asks, but there's no doubt, no real questioning in his voice. Seunghyun's worrying seems like such a non-issue then.
Seunghyun sighs before pulling him into a kiss. "Of course not. I don't know why I even asked."
They are boyfriends.
Seunghyun kisses him again, slower and deeper. He brushes his hand into Seungri's hair and holds it there, holds him there. Seungri responds by running a hand down Seunghyun's side before resting it on his hip. Seunghyun pulls back, looks into Seungri's eyes. They share a silent moment of trust and caring before Seunghyun holds him close and closes his eyes. Seungri holds him back before they both fall asleep.
_____________
Life doesn't stop once everyone gets used to it. They're all still busy as hell with promotions. Sometimes they're caught being too close, but Seunghyun can't find it in himself to care.
o lawd. let me say first of all, this is my longest fic, ever. negl there is some pride in that. I started writing after the inki thing and then they. just. kept. shipping. themselves. so this fic turned into a mini monster! anyway, fucking brotastic thanks to biases for beta-ing for me. I really needed the concrit!! also I have a pretty good idea of what happens where and when but had to wing it a bit and not have specific dates because every website ever deletes big bang's schedule when a new month comes along. so sorry if the timeline seems a bit.. off. comments and critique are loved, you know the deal!!