It's been over a week. I don't expect him to change his mind anymore. He always indicated to me that he was done with the whole drinking partying thing, but I guess it was just because he didn't have money. Something tells me that the man I loved, never really existed. It's not really a sharp pain anymore, it's a dull aching, constantly ( Read more... )

So...anyone who might possibly have access to this and remember that it exists knows that my period has never been very regular. I hadn't had my period for about 3 months before about 3 weeks ago...and it hasn't stopped since then. I've been having large clots and sudden cramps for the last 3 weeks. I need to go see a doctor, but I'm scared. ( Read more... )

I hate using this livejournal, but I don’t have anywhere else that’s fairly private. It’s been 3 days since Adrian ended it and I still feel sick. I still don’t understand why. He betrayed and lied to me. I don’t know for how long. I feel transparent, brittle. I still can’t really eat, can’t sleep. When I’m not mad about it, I think he was ( Read more... )

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Maybe he doesn't know me as well as I thought...and I don't think I know him at all. I hate everything about my life. Moreso now then ever. I don't see anything good when I look ahead. If this is all there is, then I don't wanna be here anymore. I don't think he loves me. And I'm more alone then ever.

Prison gates won’t open up for me ( Read more... )

MORE POTASSIUM DAMMIT ( Read more... )

I'm doing pretty good I think. I never post here when things are good, so I guess things are good. I'm nervous about my parents coming out, but I'll only see them one day so whatever. I'm worried about chris...he wants to move to ontario now apparently...I wonder what specifically happened that he feels the need to move...he JUST bought that ( Read more... )

I...I feel like I should be writing here because I'm upset, but I get to writing and don't know what to say exactly. Apparently i must be horribly selfish or something...I just...I didn't have anything specific in mind when I said I wanted to do an instance...I wanted to do something with cos...how come I hafta tell him when I wanna do something ( Read more... )

I guess on some level I must still believe that he will leave. I don't necessarily mean to say or do a lot of what I do...most of the time I don't know why I say or do it. I think I'm trying to make him leave. I think it'll happen after I go out there. I also think...no, that's wrong...I know that I'm in love with him. I only need this whole ( Read more... )