Star Wars *AU* Queen of Darkness chapter 11 'The Game'
Title: Queen of Darkness 'The Game'
Fandom: Star Wars (AU)
Characters: Padmé Amidala
Warnings: This is not a Padmekin tale.
Ratings & Warnings: M.
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it.
Summery: This is Chapter 11 of my tale Queen of Darkness.
Upon discovering that she was, carrying twins Padmé became painfully aware of new complications. It seemed the more she tried to bury the past the more determined it was to haunt her. Though she had learned to cope with changes her body was now undergoing the past few months had been difficult on her; both emotionally and physically. Now her due date was rapidly approaching and Padmé knew she had to act fast to ensure everything she had worked for would fall into place as planned.
“Are you certain you wish to go through with this? Once the children are given over you will never be able to speak or see them again,” the physician explained in calm tones. Padmé nodded in reply. She was only too aware of the price she had to pay.
“It isn’t common for a mother to choose the adoptive family without their knowledge or consent. In fact this could be considered quite illegal.”
“Let me be the judge of that doctor,” she replied in stoic tones. It did little to ease her concerns knowing that the physician opposed of her decision. The last thing she needed was for the man to get security involved or worse the public. Padmé couldn’t afford a scandal, certainly not one of this astronomical proportion.
“What of the father? Surely he has--”
The young senator struggled not to visibly bristle at his words. Remembering her role, she allowed unshed tears come to her amber eyes. Shaking her head Padmé struggled to find the words--and the mask to play out the role of the victim.
“No, I--it wasn’t---he was such a monster--” she stammered out as she tried to block out horrific memories. Padmé could still recall the last time Anakin shared her bed; it had been volatile, and almost violent. Two powerful bodies seeking to dominate, if not break the other. The shiver that ran down her spine was not an act. In truth, neither was her fear.
Having spent long hours studying up on such horrific incidents, Padmé learned about the victims and their recovery. It had been to ensure her story would come across as plausible, if not believable. At one time, it was meant to buy her a means of removing them. Now it was to ensure that they were placed into the right home.
“I’m terribly sorry milady. My utmost condolences, I truly hope the cretin is captured and punished.”
The doctor’s sincere compassion left her feeling uncomfortable and guilty. She hated having to lie about the pregnancy but knew the price her twins would pay if she didn’t. Burying her guilt and shame, Padmé reminded herself that all of this was for the safety of her children.
Dabbing her eyes with a tissue the medic offered her; Padmé shook her head as apologized. “I’m terribly sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.
“It has been a trying few months and--it is for this reason utmost secrecy is necessary. If the adoptive family were to learn of the children’s identity or worse--the scandal would be horrendous--”
A queen must be without weakness or flaw. A queen must be wise, yet compassionate, invulnerable and yet merciful. A queen must be the embodiment of all that is Naboo…
Padmé faltered as the words of the high priests echoed in her mind. Drawing in a shaky breath, she struggled to clear her thoughts, to ignore the taunting memory of the past. She wasn’t the innocent, naïve child any longer. This time the decisions of her future were hers, and hers alone, to make.
“If the public were to learn of what happened---” she began only to pause again. Her fingers nervously tapped against her lap. There was no turning back now.
“They need me to be strong, now more than ever. I ask you to keep this a secret, not only for my family’s good name, but also for the hope of the Naboo people.
“If they were to learn that someone as protected and trained as myself can--be violated--their faith in our security our protectorates will be deeply shaken. In these troubling times we can’t afford such demoralization,” Padmé explained softly.
The doctor didn’t question the matter further and promised to help where he could. Placing a hand to her shoulder, he gave it a squeeze as he met the senator’s troubled, dark gaze.
“You are a brave soul to be enduring such a burden alone.”
His words were meant to assure her. All they did was fill her with doubts and self-disgust. If only he knew.
“I am of royal blood. It is my duty to stand alone.”
Her voice sounded tired and wistful even to her own ears. The doctor said nothing more as he politely gave her the data pads necessary, while informing her of the legalities involved. Padmé didn’t need to read the details for she had already looked into the matter. The physician however, wasn’t aware of her additional -if not less than legal- homework and so the former queen continued to play the act of ignorance.
Putting on her cloak Padmé thanked the elder man and stepped out into the night. In less than a month, she would have the babies and the Organas would have their prayers answered. It was the only gift she had ever given Bail.
The journey home after such visits was never simple. Transitions from the eastern, lower sectors of Coruscant to the upper, senatorial levels always took time. There were handmaidens to stand in for her, costumes to change into, and appearances to be kept. It was a lot of work, but Padmé didn’t dare try to falter when it came to such details. These details ensured she would be able to tend to her past mistakes without the risk of defamation or scandal.
“Where have you been?”
The sound of Anakin’s voice was the first thing Padmé heard upon entering the her unlit private quarters. Had it not been for years of training she would have been caught completely off guard. However, she was used to Anakin’s surprise visits and his perverse desire to catch her unawares. Though the room was dark, she could feel his eyes burning into her from the shadows where he stood.
“I was with the baby’s physician Anakin,” she replied smoothly, while moving to activate the lights.
“In the lower sectors of Coruscant? While posing as a handmaiden?”
The accusation was clear in his dark tones. Padmé struggled to ignore the hair that now stood on the back of her neck. Anakin wasn’t supposed to know that little detail.
Just as she reached out to turn on the light a strong Anakin caught her wrist. The heat of his breath grazed her cheek, smelling of desert spices and unspoken threats. Not about to be intimidated Padmé moved to wrench her wrist free, her temperament turning stormy. Had it not been for the babies she would have fought harder. Their safety was now the greatest of her concerns.
“Ani, what are you doing?” she demanded. In the past, Anakin’s foul temperament always waned whenever she confronted him on it. Yet ever since the supreme chancellor ‘s rescue and the news of her pregnancy, Anakin’s mood had grown increasingly foul. First, it was directed at the separatists for keeping them apart, then the jedi council for their poor treatment of him, and now her.
“Let go of me Anakin,” she continued in dark tones as her free hand slipped to the hidden hilt of her laser pistol. Her eyes never once wavered from his stormy blue orbs.
“Tell me Padmé-where were you, really?”
Padmé could feel the burning fury beneath his calm tones but wasn’t intimidated by it. For once she was telling the truth and she wasn’t about to back down from it. Instead, she tried another approach.
“Anakin, please you’re hurting me!” she pleaded as his grip tightened. Anakin scowled but didn’t let go of his grip. Padmé’s own fingers tightened around the grip of her gun.
“Tell me who you were really seeing!”
It was ironic to think, only hours ago, Anakin was excitedly talking about their family and the future of their child.
At the time, Padmé was startled by his elated reaction. She had expected him to be furious, or at the very least unhappy. A part of her had hoped he would be-it would have made the rest of her news easier. His joy however, ensured the details of the adoption were kept to her.
“Our baby’s medic! Is it such a crime to ensure our child’s healthy?” She demanded. Anakin never replied, the look in his eyes told her that there would be no reasoning with him, not this time.
A sudden pressure was felt against her temples, causing Padmé to wince. Years of meditations and basic mind training ensured she could resist the mental attack for a little while. Anakin was much more powerful and entirely relentless. The pressure rapidly grew until Padmé felt as though her skull would be crushed under the unseeing vice like grip. It wasn’t the first time he pierced through her mental barriers, but until tonight he had never gone this far.
The room began to spin as the pain consumed her every thought. Riding on instincts alone, the former queen placed the barrel of her laser pistol to Anakin’s throat. The setting was set on lethal ,and the safety was turned off.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Anakin hissed, as his eyes bore into hers. In the darkness, they seemed to glow a sickly yellow.
“Your passion Padmé is that of a metal blade. You too, are powerful, deadly and beautiful. You say your life is filled with apologies, but not once have you ever apologized for who you are -nor should you.”
At the memory of Tamé’s words, Padmé felt a calm come over her. Holding Anakin’s poisoned gaze she spoke in deadly calm tones.
“You do anything to hurt us-anything at all, and I swear on the creator I will kill you myself.”
In that moment, she was no longer the divided and guilt-ridden senator, nor the insecure, frantic mother. Suddenly she felt as though she were the moon goddess Shiraya about to unleash her righteous vengeance. Padmé had made many mistakes in her young life. Protecting the children from their abusive father would not be one of them.
Her words of warning didn’t have the effect she had hoped. With unnatural speed, Anakin’s hands gripped the sides of her arms sending her body slamming against the back wall of the room. Crying out in shock Padmé watched in horror as he used the Force to release the pistol from her hand. Spitting out a curse she struggled beneath his grip, her dark eyes flashing in rage and indignation.
“I’m sick of your games! I’m sick of your lies!” Anakin growled as his grip on her arms tightened. Padmé knew better than to argue when he was in such a state. It didn’t stop her from fighting back.
“Let go of me Ani!” she hissed back. Despite the awkward state of her body, Padmé’s movements were agile as she wrapped a foot around the Jedi’s ankle causing him to lose his balance. His sudden attack had put him in an precarious position and despite his ability of intuition; Anakin tumbled to the floor.
Padmé didn’t bother waiting for his reaction. Grabbed her weapon the senator made her way to the front door. The jedi however, was much faster.
Without warning, Anakin pulled her into his arms with such ferocity that she cried out in shock. The kiss that followed was nothing short of violent. Padmé struggled beneath the young man’s embrace, as the taste of iron filled her mouth. The sting of her broken lips was ignored as she tried to position her laser pistol against his torso. His rough hands swiftly yanked it away and tossed it out of reach.
“No games tonight Padmé,” he said in throaty tones causing a chill of fear to run down her spine. Was this how it would end? Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her panicked thoughts. She could almost hear the sound of the crone’s laughter mocking her and her terrible predicament.
Frowning she buried her fears and ordered her hands to respond as required of her. She then forced her lips to once more lock with Anakin‘s own. This time it wasn’t Bail’s arms she imagined herself in, rather she focussed entirely on the fact that it was Anakin who now hungrily explored her body, and kissed her flesh.
There was no love found in his touch, or his kisses. There was none to be found in hers either. Padmé was not a woman who easily relinquished control and she’d be damned if she didn’t break him to her will first. As their actions took on a more passionate, if not violent turn, a familiar voice hissed into her ear causing her to gasp in shock.
He is not yours to have. He’s mine!
Her eyes snapped open and immediately focussed on the edge of her bed to the lone shadowed figure who watched on in anger. It was none other than her handmaiden and decoy Dormé. Horrified Padmé opened her mouth to speak, to demand that she leave. Yet as soon as her eyes registered the identity of the furious handmaiden, the young woman was gone, melded into the shadows as though she had never been there.
Suddenly it felt as though the walls around her were closing in. As though her body and spirit were being consumed by Anakin’s rage and lust. Gone was the need to break the man she once claimed as her own, and the need to exert her power over him. All that mattered was ending this madness and getting away.
As though sensing her fears and shame, the young jedi suddenly stopped and pushed away from her. His expression was confused, fearful, and riddled with guilt. It was a perfect reflection of her own visage.
Neither moved as their eyes held one another’s gaze. Though not a word was spoken an understanding seemed to pass between them. In that moment, Padmé knew that Anakin finally understood what she had known all along.
As soon as she saw the recognition and realization in his blue eyes, it was gone. In the past, Anakin had never ceased to amaze her with his delusions and tonight was no different. Before he had a chance to slip his arms around her, to speak the apologies he always did after losing himself to his inner demons, Padmé clambered out of the bed and retired to the fresher.
As her shaking hands slipped to her swollen womb, her eyes met the haunted reflection that stared back at her in the mirror. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Padmé could hear the echo of Sabé’s voice speaking the words she once told her on the eve of her coronation.
Only you can decide the path you must take to fulfil your destiny. No one else can choose it for you. It is the one burden we must all face alone.
Deep down Padmé knew what had to be done. The question remained, would she have enough time to see it through?
Little did the former queen realize that events far beyond her control would do more than afford her time, it would answer her every desperate prayer.
Fandom: Star Wars (AU)
Characters: Padmé Amidala
Warnings: This is not a Padmekin tale.
Ratings & Warnings: M.
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it.
Summery: This is Chapter 11 of my tale Queen of Darkness.
Upon discovering that she was, carrying twins Padmé became painfully aware of new complications. It seemed the more she tried to bury the past the more determined it was to haunt her. Though she had learned to cope with changes her body was now undergoing the past few months had been difficult on her; both emotionally and physically. Now her due date was rapidly approaching and Padmé knew she had to act fast to ensure everything she had worked for would fall into place as planned.
“Are you certain you wish to go through with this? Once the children are given over you will never be able to speak or see them again,” the physician explained in calm tones. Padmé nodded in reply. She was only too aware of the price she had to pay.
“It isn’t common for a mother to choose the adoptive family without their knowledge or consent. In fact this could be considered quite illegal.”
“Let me be the judge of that doctor,” she replied in stoic tones. It did little to ease her concerns knowing that the physician opposed of her decision. The last thing she needed was for the man to get security involved or worse the public. Padmé couldn’t afford a scandal, certainly not one of this astronomical proportion.
“What of the father? Surely he has--”
The young senator struggled not to visibly bristle at his words. Remembering her role, she allowed unshed tears come to her amber eyes. Shaking her head Padmé struggled to find the words--and the mask to play out the role of the victim.
“No, I--it wasn’t---he was such a monster--” she stammered out as she tried to block out horrific memories. Padmé could still recall the last time Anakin shared her bed; it had been volatile, and almost violent. Two powerful bodies seeking to dominate, if not break the other. The shiver that ran down her spine was not an act. In truth, neither was her fear.
Having spent long hours studying up on such horrific incidents, Padmé learned about the victims and their recovery. It had been to ensure her story would come across as plausible, if not believable. At one time, it was meant to buy her a means of removing them. Now it was to ensure that they were placed into the right home.
“I’m terribly sorry milady. My utmost condolences, I truly hope the cretin is captured and punished.”
The doctor’s sincere compassion left her feeling uncomfortable and guilty. She hated having to lie about the pregnancy but knew the price her twins would pay if she didn’t. Burying her guilt and shame, Padmé reminded herself that all of this was for the safety of her children.
Dabbing her eyes with a tissue the medic offered her; Padmé shook her head as apologized. “I’m terribly sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.
“It has been a trying few months and--it is for this reason utmost secrecy is necessary. If the adoptive family were to learn of the children’s identity or worse--the scandal would be horrendous--”
A queen must be without weakness or flaw. A queen must be wise, yet compassionate, invulnerable and yet merciful. A queen must be the embodiment of all that is Naboo…
Padmé faltered as the words of the high priests echoed in her mind. Drawing in a shaky breath, she struggled to clear her thoughts, to ignore the taunting memory of the past. She wasn’t the innocent, naïve child any longer. This time the decisions of her future were hers, and hers alone, to make.
“If the public were to learn of what happened---” she began only to pause again. Her fingers nervously tapped against her lap. There was no turning back now.
“They need me to be strong, now more than ever. I ask you to keep this a secret, not only for my family’s good name, but also for the hope of the Naboo people.
“If they were to learn that someone as protected and trained as myself can--be violated--their faith in our security our protectorates will be deeply shaken. In these troubling times we can’t afford such demoralization,” Padmé explained softly.
The doctor didn’t question the matter further and promised to help where he could. Placing a hand to her shoulder, he gave it a squeeze as he met the senator’s troubled, dark gaze.
“You are a brave soul to be enduring such a burden alone.”
His words were meant to assure her. All they did was fill her with doubts and self-disgust. If only he knew.
“I am of royal blood. It is my duty to stand alone.”
Her voice sounded tired and wistful even to her own ears. The doctor said nothing more as he politely gave her the data pads necessary, while informing her of the legalities involved. Padmé didn’t need to read the details for she had already looked into the matter. The physician however, wasn’t aware of her additional -if not less than legal- homework and so the former queen continued to play the act of ignorance.
Putting on her cloak Padmé thanked the elder man and stepped out into the night. In less than a month, she would have the babies and the Organas would have their prayers answered. It was the only gift she had ever given Bail.
The journey home after such visits was never simple. Transitions from the eastern, lower sectors of Coruscant to the upper, senatorial levels always took time. There were handmaidens to stand in for her, costumes to change into, and appearances to be kept. It was a lot of work, but Padmé didn’t dare try to falter when it came to such details. These details ensured she would be able to tend to her past mistakes without the risk of defamation or scandal.
“Where have you been?”
The sound of Anakin’s voice was the first thing Padmé heard upon entering the her unlit private quarters. Had it not been for years of training she would have been caught completely off guard. However, she was used to Anakin’s surprise visits and his perverse desire to catch her unawares. Though the room was dark, she could feel his eyes burning into her from the shadows where he stood.
“I was with the baby’s physician Anakin,” she replied smoothly, while moving to activate the lights.
“In the lower sectors of Coruscant? While posing as a handmaiden?”
The accusation was clear in his dark tones. Padmé struggled to ignore the hair that now stood on the back of her neck. Anakin wasn’t supposed to know that little detail.
Just as she reached out to turn on the light a strong Anakin caught her wrist. The heat of his breath grazed her cheek, smelling of desert spices and unspoken threats. Not about to be intimidated Padmé moved to wrench her wrist free, her temperament turning stormy. Had it not been for the babies she would have fought harder. Their safety was now the greatest of her concerns.
“Ani, what are you doing?” she demanded. In the past, Anakin’s foul temperament always waned whenever she confronted him on it. Yet ever since the supreme chancellor ‘s rescue and the news of her pregnancy, Anakin’s mood had grown increasingly foul. First, it was directed at the separatists for keeping them apart, then the jedi council for their poor treatment of him, and now her.
“Let go of me Anakin,” she continued in dark tones as her free hand slipped to the hidden hilt of her laser pistol. Her eyes never once wavered from his stormy blue orbs.
“Tell me Padmé-where were you, really?”
Padmé could feel the burning fury beneath his calm tones but wasn’t intimidated by it. For once she was telling the truth and she wasn’t about to back down from it. Instead, she tried another approach.
“Anakin, please you’re hurting me!” she pleaded as his grip tightened. Anakin scowled but didn’t let go of his grip. Padmé’s own fingers tightened around the grip of her gun.
“Tell me who you were really seeing!”
It was ironic to think, only hours ago, Anakin was excitedly talking about their family and the future of their child.
At the time, Padmé was startled by his elated reaction. She had expected him to be furious, or at the very least unhappy. A part of her had hoped he would be-it would have made the rest of her news easier. His joy however, ensured the details of the adoption were kept to her.
“Our baby’s medic! Is it such a crime to ensure our child’s healthy?” She demanded. Anakin never replied, the look in his eyes told her that there would be no reasoning with him, not this time.
A sudden pressure was felt against her temples, causing Padmé to wince. Years of meditations and basic mind training ensured she could resist the mental attack for a little while. Anakin was much more powerful and entirely relentless. The pressure rapidly grew until Padmé felt as though her skull would be crushed under the unseeing vice like grip. It wasn’t the first time he pierced through her mental barriers, but until tonight he had never gone this far.
The room began to spin as the pain consumed her every thought. Riding on instincts alone, the former queen placed the barrel of her laser pistol to Anakin’s throat. The setting was set on lethal ,and the safety was turned off.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Anakin hissed, as his eyes bore into hers. In the darkness, they seemed to glow a sickly yellow.
“Your passion Padmé is that of a metal blade. You too, are powerful, deadly and beautiful. You say your life is filled with apologies, but not once have you ever apologized for who you are -nor should you.”
At the memory of Tamé’s words, Padmé felt a calm come over her. Holding Anakin’s poisoned gaze she spoke in deadly calm tones.
“You do anything to hurt us-anything at all, and I swear on the creator I will kill you myself.”
In that moment, she was no longer the divided and guilt-ridden senator, nor the insecure, frantic mother. Suddenly she felt as though she were the moon goddess Shiraya about to unleash her righteous vengeance. Padmé had made many mistakes in her young life. Protecting the children from their abusive father would not be one of them.
Her words of warning didn’t have the effect she had hoped. With unnatural speed, Anakin’s hands gripped the sides of her arms sending her body slamming against the back wall of the room. Crying out in shock Padmé watched in horror as he used the Force to release the pistol from her hand. Spitting out a curse she struggled beneath his grip, her dark eyes flashing in rage and indignation.
“I’m sick of your games! I’m sick of your lies!” Anakin growled as his grip on her arms tightened. Padmé knew better than to argue when he was in such a state. It didn’t stop her from fighting back.
“Let go of me Ani!” she hissed back. Despite the awkward state of her body, Padmé’s movements were agile as she wrapped a foot around the Jedi’s ankle causing him to lose his balance. His sudden attack had put him in an precarious position and despite his ability of intuition; Anakin tumbled to the floor.
Padmé didn’t bother waiting for his reaction. Grabbed her weapon the senator made her way to the front door. The jedi however, was much faster.
Without warning, Anakin pulled her into his arms with such ferocity that she cried out in shock. The kiss that followed was nothing short of violent. Padmé struggled beneath the young man’s embrace, as the taste of iron filled her mouth. The sting of her broken lips was ignored as she tried to position her laser pistol against his torso. His rough hands swiftly yanked it away and tossed it out of reach.
“No games tonight Padmé,” he said in throaty tones causing a chill of fear to run down her spine. Was this how it would end? Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her panicked thoughts. She could almost hear the sound of the crone’s laughter mocking her and her terrible predicament.
Frowning she buried her fears and ordered her hands to respond as required of her. She then forced her lips to once more lock with Anakin‘s own. This time it wasn’t Bail’s arms she imagined herself in, rather she focussed entirely on the fact that it was Anakin who now hungrily explored her body, and kissed her flesh.
There was no love found in his touch, or his kisses. There was none to be found in hers either. Padmé was not a woman who easily relinquished control and she’d be damned if she didn’t break him to her will first. As their actions took on a more passionate, if not violent turn, a familiar voice hissed into her ear causing her to gasp in shock.
He is not yours to have. He’s mine!
Her eyes snapped open and immediately focussed on the edge of her bed to the lone shadowed figure who watched on in anger. It was none other than her handmaiden and decoy Dormé. Horrified Padmé opened her mouth to speak, to demand that she leave. Yet as soon as her eyes registered the identity of the furious handmaiden, the young woman was gone, melded into the shadows as though she had never been there.
Suddenly it felt as though the walls around her were closing in. As though her body and spirit were being consumed by Anakin’s rage and lust. Gone was the need to break the man she once claimed as her own, and the need to exert her power over him. All that mattered was ending this madness and getting away.
As though sensing her fears and shame, the young jedi suddenly stopped and pushed away from her. His expression was confused, fearful, and riddled with guilt. It was a perfect reflection of her own visage.
Neither moved as their eyes held one another’s gaze. Though not a word was spoken an understanding seemed to pass between them. In that moment, Padmé knew that Anakin finally understood what she had known all along.
As soon as she saw the recognition and realization in his blue eyes, it was gone. In the past, Anakin had never ceased to amaze her with his delusions and tonight was no different. Before he had a chance to slip his arms around her, to speak the apologies he always did after losing himself to his inner demons, Padmé clambered out of the bed and retired to the fresher.
As her shaking hands slipped to her swollen womb, her eyes met the haunted reflection that stared back at her in the mirror. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Padmé could hear the echo of Sabé’s voice speaking the words she once told her on the eve of her coronation.
Only you can decide the path you must take to fulfil your destiny. No one else can choose it for you. It is the one burden we must all face alone.
Deep down Padmé knew what had to be done. The question remained, would she have enough time to see it through?
Little did the former queen realize that events far beyond her control would do more than afford her time, it would answer her every desperate prayer.