Fic: "Night Terrors" (PG-13 for violence)

[corvetteclaire]

Title: Night Terrors
Author: CorvetteClaire
Rating: PG-13 (violence)
Summary: Harry dreams of Azkaban.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. I am borrowing them for entertainment purposes only, not for profit.
Feedback: Yes, please! I would love to know what you think.

Comments

[balfrog]

um.. now this is silly because I'd already left a comment for this, but I'd been thinking about this fic for over a day now, and I wondering, if you're not done with this or will use it somewhere else, whether some con/crit would be all right.

I love the fic, and am the biggest fan of your writing (really, more than anything). Sometimes I gush too much. But with this, I could gush and critique at the same time.
(and well, I should be off working again, but only 4 people in the world are going to read that sucker)

[corvetteclaire]

Hey, frogslayr!

The story is as done as it's going to get, though I know that it's a long way from polished, but feel free to critique it anyway. Who knows? Maybe you'll get my creative juices flowing enough to try a rewrite. If nothing else, it will be interesting to see if the weaknesses you find are the same ones I do. So please, do critique it!

[balfrog]

Thanks for carrying on this conversation- I usually leave about 3-4 sentences of comments when I really like something, and say nothing when I find it uninteresting or iffy, but I've been a fan of your writing for so long that I just had to *engage* with it

[corvetteclaire]

It took me awhile to unravel which response came where, since I got two copies of one of them, but now I think I've got it... This is marvelous! I do enjoy this kind of discussion so much! Many of your observations strike right at the heart of why I consider this fic something of a "fluff piece" (I know it sounds silly to call a story about torture and nightmares fluff, but that's what it is

[balfrog]

Conversely, what worked best in the fast-forward, wake up scene, was the dialogue: Harry/Draco, and (o joy)Harry/Ron/weird sound from Draco. I love your Ron

[corvetteclaire]

The "follow-up explanation" scene is the one I was referring to before - the leftover bit from the story's earlier incarnation. That style of "telling too much" is one I make an effort to avoid in my polished stuff, but I often use it to get from dialogue bit to dialogue bit in rough drafts or personal fluff-fics where I don't care how many lines I cross. And it's very easy to slip from indirect narration to the Author Notes style of recounting the story, when I'm not paying attention. It's the kind of thing I sometimes don't clean out until the second or third edit.

Well, all I can say is that this story got one too few edits. You said

[balfrog]

Thanks fo putting up with me and the ramble-
I do so like talking about writing, and I was hoping not to come across as nitpicking because I'm in it because your writing's so special to my fandom experience. There are other writers-quite well known and loved BNFs- who do a bit of the overlong explanation- which I CAN read and enjoy, but I put on my second favorites list because it's not as tight and perfect as your finished work.

Anyway, off off.... you're probably poring over more A&S, and I don't want to be the one who stalled you! (godforbid)

cheers, flowers, amphibians~
FS

Re: I love your writing.

[corvetteclaire]

Thank you very much, riverlight! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. And just in case you haven't found it yet, I put a new chapter of A&S up on ff.net and Schnoogle (that's Chapter 10).

Thanks again,
-- Claire