Summer is over.
Well, I just got this horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was becomming so comfortable in the way my life was going, but its all about to change AGAIN. things always change for me as a new school year starts. And it's never anything minor. As most of you who know me know, this summer, right as it was beginning, my parents got a divorce. This didnt really tear me apart. More like it tore everything AROUND me apart. I had to move to a new place, which wasnt bad since I love it here. But it was a stressfull moving situation. We went from living in our house in Arnaudville, to living with my aunt, to living in the house in Arnaudville again. Then we went back to my aunts house, then back to Arnaudville... and finally here in Henderson in our new house. The most depressing thing about returning to school is I'll miss my favorite things in life. I'll not be able to sit out on the deck right as the sun comes up listening to Sam Beam... and I wont be able to walk anymore. Both of those simple things were the most fulfilling in my life at this point. I relized alot of things this past summer. This has been my most enlightening yet. I realized that i really dont need any other person to feel happy... but at the same time, I realized that that is all life really comes down to. Person to person relationships. Wether it be you and your mother, you and your father, you and a significant other, or you and a child. Thats all we really live for, right? They just come to us in sequence. First, its you and your parents when youre young. Then, its you and a potential wife/husband. Then its you and that child of your own. right? Arent those the main components of life? people and other people? Another thing i realized is my theory on hate... read back a feew posts for that. Hate was a strong factor in my life until i came to that conclusion.. and i felt bad after. This summer, i also fell back in love with Tool. I had fallen into other stages throughout some time, but Tool has always been the one band that i have been bound to the whole time, no matter what phases or trends i had gone through. Maynard James Hebert Keenan is everything as a musician I strive for. Id love to sing... but there are no good, credible bands around here. Such is the plight of living in Louisiana. I think that everyone should set aside a few hours and have a seat with an open mind and all the tool cds... and listen to them at once through.
This summer, i made some of the best friends ive ever had. Al, Joey, Devon, Brittany, Chelsea... they all really mean alot to me.more than im sure they know.
I hate how you attach people to certain music. I can no longer listen tho 13th Step without being VERY upset about someone. I havent missed her in a logn time. and its starting to peak again. I would say i hate her, but you know how i feel about hate... its actually quite the opposite. its funny how you can feel that way about someone who has such unpleasantries atached to them in your eyes. Oh how the mind works.
Lately, ive decided that educational things are worth alot more than those things that are petty. rather than playing some stupid net game, ive been reading alot of stuff... researching alot of topics... i figure being enlightened about alot of things is better than being a pro at yahoo pool.
Ive also made some other major decisions this summer. things i wont go into unless you know me well... and care to ask. but its some majopr stuff... things that are definitely life chanmging. so ill leave that at that.
im sick of alot of these cool "scene" kids. i really dont have anything against any scene, just some of the people in them. if you catch my drift. i dont have anything against emo at all. neither against goth. i dont ever have anything against preps. i just have a few people from each who i cannot stand. just lump them all into one category. Mallcore. greatest genre classification ever. I came across that this summer as well.
On the nerdier side, i saw all 3 Lord of the Rings movies... which i thought were absolutely amazing. I adore the long epic story. Tolkien was an amazing author. The story was is so detailed and wow. haha. cory is a loser.
Just as summer fades away, i get insurance. I am now official on the road. Ive got my own truck thats paid for... so that rocks. I feel like im finally getting somewhere.
Farewell. Double You See Aye awaits me in the morning. if anyone actually can stand to read to this point, you pretty much have a look at most of my summer. i have a few other things i will keep candid. Ill leave you with lyrics to my favorite song of all time.
H.
What's coming through is alive.
What's holding up is a mirror.
But what's singing songs is a snake
Looking to turn this piss to wine.
They're both totally void of hate,
But killing me just the same.
The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again.
And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
Considerately.
Venomous voice, tempts me,
Drains me, bleeds me,
Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity.
The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again.
And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me.
Without the skin,
Beneath the storm,
Under these tears
The walls came down.
And the snake is drowned and
As I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times.
I could have cried then.
I should have cried then.
And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.
I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me.
Maynard James Hebert Keenan. WOW.