whether a light drizzle in venice or a hard rain on long island
this is an uncharacteristically long and introspective livejournal entry. proceed at your own caution:
i guess my thoughtful and pointless meandering started with the hype i read of shadow of the colossus and the allure the game had on those who played it. i read such reviews about it and their attempt to point out that which made the game so engaging. for the most part, i agree with a lot of it; after taking down each colossus you felt this contradicting serenity. yes, you overcame the behemoth but at what cost? one by one, a dove takes place by the body of the woman you want to revive yet the physical appearence of the wonderer becomes more weathered. the tension becomes thicker each time you make your way across the landscape to the next colossus and the story barely exposes itself into the upmost climax.
and i think to myself, what makes this game so lush, so majestic, so - to re-use the word - engaging? initially one could point out it's graphics and style which is unique to itself; however, every game has great graphics nowadays so it just can't be that. as mentioned by antitype it is the minimalistic aesthetic chosen by the creators; their choice to use negation as a way to convey the game's narrative. it is just you and your companion - your horse, argo - who accompanies you in the foreign land. as you travel from the shrine to the next destination the land only responds to you with the sound of the wind and the occasional bird overhead. when you take down each colossus, you are knocked out and taken back to the shrine and you hear a voice but, you cannot decipher it.
i won't deny that i never critically analyzed a game before; usually if it entertains me, it entertains me. i don't necessarily want to think when i play video games; i want to be entertained, i spent money on this. i doubt anyone thought about dig-dug or pac-man critically before. but as i get older; as i become more jaded (shit, i am only 20) and as video games evolve more into art-forms, i try to pinpoint why certain things get me interested and excited and others don't. why is shadow of the colossus more fun to play instead of say, insert name of shitty game here? why is some music and sound better than others? why is some art better than other art? is it all merely derived from comparison? and if so, why do we elevate certain art-forms and creations more than others?
this leads to my first point and it is the power of memory. t.s eliot muses about this in four quartets and it is the moments we have that illuminate our lives and give us a sense of dignity; a sense of divinity; a sense of that there is something out there that is unexplainable. these moments are not necessarily the typical "good times" but the experiences that would appear to be ordinary and commonplace yet upon recollection, they become something more. eliot in his poetry tried to capture these moments and i like to think most great art strieves for the same and attempt to contain these bare, commonplace moments that are fleshed out and made extroadinary by the individual using their imagination.
in the case of shadow of the colossus and i say with most great art, it isn't necessarily the withdrawal or denial of information but the addition of it which must be done by the onlooker, or listener and in this case the player. it is the abstraction found in great art that truly engages the individual because it requiers one to impose their imagination on the piece of art and have them evoke their own response instead of one being completely dictated to them.
i find coincidence in the fact how shadow of the colossus resembles one of wallace stevens' poem how to live. what to do. an individual is traveling with his/her companion toward a desired end, a large wall of stone which grasps the clouds above. they take rest and they observe their surroundings: there is no sign to tell them that where they are is holy or has any significance; no voice, no crest, no priest, nothing. yet, they hear the "cold sound" from "the muck of the land" and that sound is "jubliant, joyous and true."
there must have been time in human history where the first people who could think and imagine approached this new world and could make whatever they wanted out of it. anything was possible; a blank canvas was available to those who choose to engage and paint it. i suppose, but don't completely subscribe to the notion, that "everything has been done." what else is there? everything has been said, sung, painted, filmed, played; what is left? do we simply wait for something new to come on and when that is exhausted we cling onto something else and continue the cycle? is it a coincidence that the trend in hollywood now is to re-make older films?
i think the three big aspects of productive thinking is memory and also the imagination and comparison and they all must be firmly attatched to reality. art is the tangible reality of those three things and art is useless without an audience; it is useless without disucssion. this is the why academia arises and also to another extent why we have livejournal music rating communities. anyone can experience a vast amount of art but what is the point if there is no conversation? elitism has been made into such a dirty word, but elitism is necessary. the fact is, elitism is made to be dismissible in our society and the simple fact for why this is is the alternative is easier; the alternative is to not think and subscribe to reality and solely believe in practicality. right now as i write this entry, i struggle with my thoughts and try to put words in the correct order to clearly articulate what i am thinking. it is easy to embrace the practical and the obvious but those aforementioned notions are obvious and practical because one individual or group has made it so (hi foucault). being able to question and wonder has been lost and it has to be found again.
and it is unfortunate because college has been made into this place where you receive knowledge and then take it to the real world. knowledge can never be contained, nor is it finite. as long as we are humble human beings like humility, knowledge is endless (eliot). even in proposed idealistic classless societies, there will always be a class that acknowledges great art; acknowledges the importance and value of the imagination
when i read final soliloquy of the interior paramour i understand why it took stevens' nearly his whole poetic career to write: "they say God and the imagination are one..." when i was in (catholic) church this past christmas eve, the priest kept saying "the mystery of god" "the mystery of jesus christ." and for a second, everything clicked; isn't that what entices us: mystery? isn't that why shadow of the colossus is entertaining? or why the bible is so profound? or why ambient music is so alluring and serene? it isn't serene just because it is minimal; it is lush because it evokes feelings in us. these feelings are not new and strange, but existing feelings we have re-newed into something strange and different.
that is why our imagination is so powerful, we can take every object and sound we hear and facet of the world and make it new. we can assemble and put together the world in any way we want, deconstruct it and put it back together, imagine the world and make it so. but i don't want to portray the imagination as a form of escapism. anyone can feel refreshed when they go on vacation for example; the true power and value of the imagination is found in confronting the repetition of ordinary life. the uninspired 9-5 culture we live in now and the cynicism that develops from this way of life perpetuates a tepid and vapid existence and this is what the imagination must combat. shadow of the colossus, like all great art, can be the catalyst of this resurgence, this rebirth, but the powerful, positive force of the imagination cannot be limited to that experience provided by great art; it must travel beyond itself into the slime and drudge and grind of our daily lives.
i don't know what else to say. so many words and i still have a feeling of dissatisfaction. why did i write all this? i don't dig on long entries; i strongly believe brevity is the soul of wit. but i guess at this point in my life i am at the edge staring off into the distance. i'm leaving my home and will be living and experiencing a new place for the longest time in my life up to this point.
also, i end a long relationship with someone that i love.
and i ask myself the melodramatic question, is it possible to find love again? is courage found in the ability to move on or the refusal to let that which is uncontrollable change us? the obvious and unsettling answer is "i have no fucking clue." but i guess it's that universal answer that binds us together and those who recognize it, accept it, but then try to cultivate something positive out of it. wallace stevens says the ultimate fiction is abstract, changes and derives pleasure. that is what life is and it is the greatest thing; it truly is awe-inspiring how wonderful it is to be alive. the only way we can show our appreciation towards life, is to truly live it.
everyday.
i guess my thoughtful and pointless meandering started with the hype i read of shadow of the colossus and the allure the game had on those who played it. i read such reviews about it and their attempt to point out that which made the game so engaging. for the most part, i agree with a lot of it; after taking down each colossus you felt this contradicting serenity. yes, you overcame the behemoth but at what cost? one by one, a dove takes place by the body of the woman you want to revive yet the physical appearence of the wonderer becomes more weathered. the tension becomes thicker each time you make your way across the landscape to the next colossus and the story barely exposes itself into the upmost climax.
and i think to myself, what makes this game so lush, so majestic, so - to re-use the word - engaging? initially one could point out it's graphics and style which is unique to itself; however, every game has great graphics nowadays so it just can't be that. as mentioned by antitype it is the minimalistic aesthetic chosen by the creators; their choice to use negation as a way to convey the game's narrative. it is just you and your companion - your horse, argo - who accompanies you in the foreign land. as you travel from the shrine to the next destination the land only responds to you with the sound of the wind and the occasional bird overhead. when you take down each colossus, you are knocked out and taken back to the shrine and you hear a voice but, you cannot decipher it.
i won't deny that i never critically analyzed a game before; usually if it entertains me, it entertains me. i don't necessarily want to think when i play video games; i want to be entertained, i spent money on this. i doubt anyone thought about dig-dug or pac-man critically before. but as i get older; as i become more jaded (shit, i am only 20) and as video games evolve more into art-forms, i try to pinpoint why certain things get me interested and excited and others don't. why is shadow of the colossus more fun to play instead of say, insert name of shitty game here? why is some music and sound better than others? why is some art better than other art? is it all merely derived from comparison? and if so, why do we elevate certain art-forms and creations more than others?
this leads to my first point and it is the power of memory. t.s eliot muses about this in four quartets and it is the moments we have that illuminate our lives and give us a sense of dignity; a sense of divinity; a sense of that there is something out there that is unexplainable. these moments are not necessarily the typical "good times" but the experiences that would appear to be ordinary and commonplace yet upon recollection, they become something more. eliot in his poetry tried to capture these moments and i like to think most great art strieves for the same and attempt to contain these bare, commonplace moments that are fleshed out and made extroadinary by the individual using their imagination.
in the case of shadow of the colossus and i say with most great art, it isn't necessarily the withdrawal or denial of information but the addition of it which must be done by the onlooker, or listener and in this case the player. it is the abstraction found in great art that truly engages the individual because it requiers one to impose their imagination on the piece of art and have them evoke their own response instead of one being completely dictated to them.
i find coincidence in the fact how shadow of the colossus resembles one of wallace stevens' poem how to live. what to do. an individual is traveling with his/her companion toward a desired end, a large wall of stone which grasps the clouds above. they take rest and they observe their surroundings: there is no sign to tell them that where they are is holy or has any significance; no voice, no crest, no priest, nothing. yet, they hear the "cold sound" from "the muck of the land" and that sound is "jubliant, joyous and true."
there must have been time in human history where the first people who could think and imagine approached this new world and could make whatever they wanted out of it. anything was possible; a blank canvas was available to those who choose to engage and paint it. i suppose, but don't completely subscribe to the notion, that "everything has been done." what else is there? everything has been said, sung, painted, filmed, played; what is left? do we simply wait for something new to come on and when that is exhausted we cling onto something else and continue the cycle? is it a coincidence that the trend in hollywood now is to re-make older films?
i think the three big aspects of productive thinking is memory and also the imagination and comparison and they all must be firmly attatched to reality. art is the tangible reality of those three things and art is useless without an audience; it is useless without disucssion. this is the why academia arises and also to another extent why we have livejournal music rating communities. anyone can experience a vast amount of art but what is the point if there is no conversation? elitism has been made into such a dirty word, but elitism is necessary. the fact is, elitism is made to be dismissible in our society and the simple fact for why this is is the alternative is easier; the alternative is to not think and subscribe to reality and solely believe in practicality. right now as i write this entry, i struggle with my thoughts and try to put words in the correct order to clearly articulate what i am thinking. it is easy to embrace the practical and the obvious but those aforementioned notions are obvious and practical because one individual or group has made it so (hi foucault). being able to question and wonder has been lost and it has to be found again.
and it is unfortunate because college has been made into this place where you receive knowledge and then take it to the real world. knowledge can never be contained, nor is it finite. as long as we are humble human beings like humility, knowledge is endless (eliot). even in proposed idealistic classless societies, there will always be a class that acknowledges great art; acknowledges the importance and value of the imagination
when i read final soliloquy of the interior paramour i understand why it took stevens' nearly his whole poetic career to write: "they say God and the imagination are one..." when i was in (catholic) church this past christmas eve, the priest kept saying "the mystery of god" "the mystery of jesus christ." and for a second, everything clicked; isn't that what entices us: mystery? isn't that why shadow of the colossus is entertaining? or why the bible is so profound? or why ambient music is so alluring and serene? it isn't serene just because it is minimal; it is lush because it evokes feelings in us. these feelings are not new and strange, but existing feelings we have re-newed into something strange and different.
that is why our imagination is so powerful, we can take every object and sound we hear and facet of the world and make it new. we can assemble and put together the world in any way we want, deconstruct it and put it back together, imagine the world and make it so. but i don't want to portray the imagination as a form of escapism. anyone can feel refreshed when they go on vacation for example; the true power and value of the imagination is found in confronting the repetition of ordinary life. the uninspired 9-5 culture we live in now and the cynicism that develops from this way of life perpetuates a tepid and vapid existence and this is what the imagination must combat. shadow of the colossus, like all great art, can be the catalyst of this resurgence, this rebirth, but the powerful, positive force of the imagination cannot be limited to that experience provided by great art; it must travel beyond itself into the slime and drudge and grind of our daily lives.
i don't know what else to say. so many words and i still have a feeling of dissatisfaction. why did i write all this? i don't dig on long entries; i strongly believe brevity is the soul of wit. but i guess at this point in my life i am at the edge staring off into the distance. i'm leaving my home and will be living and experiencing a new place for the longest time in my life up to this point.
also, i end a long relationship with someone that i love.
and i ask myself the melodramatic question, is it possible to find love again? is courage found in the ability to move on or the refusal to let that which is uncontrollable change us? the obvious and unsettling answer is "i have no fucking clue." but i guess it's that universal answer that binds us together and those who recognize it, accept it, but then try to cultivate something positive out of it. wallace stevens says the ultimate fiction is abstract, changes and derives pleasure. that is what life is and it is the greatest thing; it truly is awe-inspiring how wonderful it is to be alive. the only way we can show our appreciation towards life, is to truly live it.
everyday.