acceptance is the first step to recovery
Title: acceptance is the first step to recovery
Pairing: minsu
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Summary: Junsu is Junsu is Junsu is Junsu.
acceptance is the first step to recovery
These days, Junsu’s schedule is tighter than the rest and it shows, in tired eyes and sunken cheeks, bulging veins and baggy tees. He fits jeans three sizes smaller than before, wears oversized sunglasses to hide glaring eyebags, and stares at the mirror with a dull sort of fascination when people compliment him on his newfound attractiveness. His stalkers followers fans have tripled and he does not know what to do.
He has a sip of water for breakfast before he is rushed out the door.
Changmin eats his share.
-
The members mock him with now stale jokes- lost some weight but can’t change your face your brain your butt your butt- and like everything else in his life, Junsu laughs it off - a wistful look out the window and a hollow sound of acknowledgement that rings high and sad and hurthurthurt.
Changmin wonders if Junsu only accepts them because he can’t change them.
-
Changmin is tired. Annoyed. Exasperated. Practice ran late and now he is nothing but a mess of sweaty, smelly limbs, tangled into a nauseous heap on the benches, breathing in stale air, breathing out, in, out, in, he needs water so badly, and Junsu does not make it any better.
He inches closer and closer and closer, hey Changmin, hey, hey, what do you think Yunho hyung wants for his birthday, what if we surprise him, until Changmin can almost taste the sweat glistening on his skin, what if, hey, hey Changmin, look at this, Changmin, see his reflection in wide teardrop eyes, Changmin, wanna’ play a game, hey.
Changmin just wants some space.
Junsu stares up from the floor, confused, and Changmin thinks maybe he pushed a bit too hard.
-
Jaejoong is sly, like the wind. He breezes by unnoticed and plants a kiss on Changmin’s cheek when he’s focused on the pasta, glides away just as swiftly as he came. His laughter echoes in the room, and he calls out some bullshit about couples and fanservice, and the need to bond to make the act seem real. Changmin seethes an angry red, grabs a fork and chases his attacker down the hall.
Junsu watches the entire exchange from the couch and winks a mischief filled bullet straight to his heart.
-
Junsu’s hand twitches slightly, grazes dangerous territory before settling warm and close, breathtakingly scary, and Changmin wants to die. Changmin wants to kick him away, wants to punch his face, wants to drag him by the hair and hurl him off the mattress, wants to grab him by the neck and kiss him ‘til he can’t breathe. But he can’t. Junsu is pure, Junsu is sweet, and he has never seen worlds like these.
Changmin shuts his eyes close, tight, closes his palms into a fist and presses them onto his lids hard, hard, harder, until all he can see is bright black black red, flashes of veins lining his eyes and Junsu’s veins and Junsu’s eyes and his breath on his skin and his hand on his thigh - and Junsu sleeps soundly, like a child, like a baby, and Junsu’s naiveté pisses him off.
-
It was an unrecognizable mess of feelings, but now that he understands, it's the truth.
(when a tired Junsu murmurs into the phone, his voice rings an entire octave lower, later hyung, i'm sleeping, and Changmin listens but he can't think)
It fucking hurts.
(when Yoochun puts his arms around Junsu and his mouth at his ear and hey, let's get away for a while and two smiles take over the room the city the planet when he says yes but no no no, don't go, what about Changmin)
They say acceptance is the first step to recovery, but this is his regression.
-
/end.
A/N: so busy these days I don't even feel like fleshing this out into a full-fledged fic, so this is all you guys get. Sorry~
Pairing: minsu
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Summary: Junsu is Junsu is Junsu is Junsu.
acceptance is the first step to recovery
These days, Junsu’s schedule is tighter than the rest and it shows, in tired eyes and sunken cheeks, bulging veins and baggy tees. He fits jeans three sizes smaller than before, wears oversized sunglasses to hide glaring eyebags, and stares at the mirror with a dull sort of fascination when people compliment him on his newfound attractiveness. His stalkers followers fans have tripled and he does not know what to do.
He has a sip of water for breakfast before he is rushed out the door.
Changmin eats his share.
-
The members mock him with now stale jokes- lost some weight but can’t change your face your brain your butt your butt- and like everything else in his life, Junsu laughs it off - a wistful look out the window and a hollow sound of acknowledgement that rings high and sad and hurthurthurt.
Changmin wonders if Junsu only accepts them because he can’t change them.
-
Changmin is tired. Annoyed. Exasperated. Practice ran late and now he is nothing but a mess of sweaty, smelly limbs, tangled into a nauseous heap on the benches, breathing in stale air, breathing out, in, out, in, he needs water so badly, and Junsu does not make it any better.
He inches closer and closer and closer, hey Changmin, hey, hey, what do you think Yunho hyung wants for his birthday, what if we surprise him, until Changmin can almost taste the sweat glistening on his skin, what if, hey, hey Changmin, look at this, Changmin, see his reflection in wide teardrop eyes, Changmin, wanna’ play a game, hey.
Changmin just wants some space.
Junsu stares up from the floor, confused, and Changmin thinks maybe he pushed a bit too hard.
-
Jaejoong is sly, like the wind. He breezes by unnoticed and plants a kiss on Changmin’s cheek when he’s focused on the pasta, glides away just as swiftly as he came. His laughter echoes in the room, and he calls out some bullshit about couples and fanservice, and the need to bond to make the act seem real. Changmin seethes an angry red, grabs a fork and chases his attacker down the hall.
Junsu watches the entire exchange from the couch and winks a mischief filled bullet straight to his heart.
-
Junsu’s hand twitches slightly, grazes dangerous territory before settling warm and close, breathtakingly scary, and Changmin wants to die. Changmin wants to kick him away, wants to punch his face, wants to drag him by the hair and hurl him off the mattress, wants to grab him by the neck and kiss him ‘til he can’t breathe. But he can’t. Junsu is pure, Junsu is sweet, and he has never seen worlds like these.
Changmin shuts his eyes close, tight, closes his palms into a fist and presses them onto his lids hard, hard, harder, until all he can see is bright black black red, flashes of veins lining his eyes and Junsu’s veins and Junsu’s eyes and his breath on his skin and his hand on his thigh - and Junsu sleeps soundly, like a child, like a baby, and Junsu’s naiveté pisses him off.
-
It was an unrecognizable mess of feelings, but now that he understands, it's the truth.
(when a tired Junsu murmurs into the phone, his voice rings an entire octave lower, later hyung, i'm sleeping, and Changmin listens but he can't think)
It fucking hurts.
(when Yoochun puts his arms around Junsu and his mouth at his ear and hey, let's get away for a while and two smiles take over the room the city the planet when he says yes but no no no, don't go, what about Changmin)
They say acceptance is the first step to recovery, but this is his regression.
-
/end.
A/N: so busy these days I don't even feel like fleshing this out into a full-fledged fic, so this is all you guys get. Sorry~