a rant
I'm trying to be positive everytime I talk about it, but I have so much resentment built up right now that I need to get this out.
Reasons it was awful:
All he said was that this was another option for an airline on the day that we preferred and that it was cheaper. We bought it. Now here's a little bit of background. He has taken the airline before, he knows the culture there. He did not mention a word. He let us walk into that situation completely ignorant. Said it was bound to happen when our luggage got left behind. Things I had treasured since elementary school were stolen, and there he was spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on his own daughter, refusing to acknowledge that the slightest bit of a detailed reference on his part would have saved me a couple of my own.
But more than that, women. Women are the worst. Never really believed mom when she used to complain before, but I witnessed it firsthand this time and I think they're the scariest things on the planet. I don't care what kind of drama went on in the background before I arrived, I saw what I saw and I wish that I hadn't. These are things I didn't comment on, but these are things that struck a chord. Tomorrow I may not care, but right now it feels like one of those things you won't likely forget.
My luggage arrived 5 days into the 10 day trip. By this time, 2 of the events had already passed. Mom and I had to borrow clothes from an aunt on my maternal side - who had to mail the package out to us because we did not live on the same side of the country. Dad's side (ie the hosts) did not even offer to share. Note that two of the girls living in the same house as me are the same size as me too. But nope. Mom's a bit smaller than the aunts, but even when we asked, the responses were half-hearted or refusals. At some point, the bride said something like, "I'd offer you my makeup but all of it is packed and I won't open it until the wedding is over." The next day she asked if I could use her makeup to prep her for the next event because the other girls don't know how and her hands would be covered with henna so she can't do it herself. I just. I don't even want your things, but you suck.
I was sick the day we started traveling, had been working 1-2 hrs overtime for two weeks in a row to get the year-end stuff sorted in time for the days off to start. Days I had to beg to book off by the way, because my probation ended starting the day I wanted off, and my associate was going to be gone all of December anyway. Imagine carrying 23(x4) kg bags off the luggage belt for yourself and your mother while you have a fever of 40 degrees and a flu bad enough to wake you up at 3am because you can't breathe, and you're on your period and the cramps are killing you as it is. Now imagine arriving at their house after a 17hr+ journey with all the stress of leaving the airport without any of your luggage, having everyone comment that you look visibly ill, and then at dinner watching them carry a tray of soup out for her because she complained about a cough. No one offers it to you.
Dad's sister-in-law took us shopping two hours before the first event (not a second earlier, nope, let's push it as far back as possible) so that we could find shoes to wear because we had nothing else except the loafers we'd worn from the airport. She took us to two stores and said there's no other store left in the whole city. After dad's bro brought it up at night because we were late, she made it sound like we deliberately made her late because we weren't willing to just borrow things from them, and I was just sitting there like ??????????? no????????. Later she made a joke about my brother and his broken engagement, and. If she had nothing nice to say, then she should have just stayed silent.
At one point Z mocked how conservative my dad is in the middle of the reunion. I can complain all I want, but I expected you to have respect. He's much older than your dad. F and her have only ever done voluntary internships in their lives, for fun, and let's admit, their dads hooked those up too. F's "house chores" are limited to handing a list of things to do to the servants. They don't know what it means to contribute because you want to or because your family needs you to. Mom was proud when she brought up how I used to cook as a hobby starting in middle school and am financially independent now, and they laughed it up like this is child labour. We didn't even mention that I'm prepping for the exam. Spoiled brat and trophy wife status is something they genuinely covet. Mom's the same but I can't bring myself to agree. The uncle/aunt in Dubai brought up the fact that she's had 11 wedding-related events so far and has no limit to her spending even though she's never earned a dime. I'd say that it's not my place to judge.. but I do.. lol.
She's lied to everyone about who she's marrying, and I have to maintain her lie for her to our mutual friends too. Lying is one of my biggest pet peeves but I did it because she's family. This is not how family is supposed to act.
I'd wake up at 7/8am everyday, and these girls would be getting out of bed at 3/4pm and huddling together for wedding planning. They'd share nothing, not even if I asked. I get it with the need to keep the surprises a secret, but I flew over for this and I'm staying at your house and franky speaking, leaving me out of things that I'm supposed to participate in is just plain rude?? I mean they told me about the theme for day 2 right when I started ironing my clothes, like 'hey no, this is what you'll be wearing today'. They'd planned it out since June, and everyone else knew about it. It doesn't exactly make me want to hug them.
I was there for the marriage registration, and it should have been a happy occassion but by the end of the ceremony I wish I hadn't gone. She literally begged me to fly over for her, and when I was there, she acted like.. I remember walking out of the mosque and F asked me why she said that. I didn't say a word but I was seething. I don't know why she let family politics affect her so drastically when I ignored it and had to go through weeks of arguments to be able to fly out for her in the middle of all the separation bullshit. They're not my favourite people and that's definitely not my favourite place, but the least she could have done was spend more than an hour in my company and be a little less of a bitch and it would've been worth all the fights. I don't know - I'm still angry. Avoided her face after that, attended the ceremony like a guest, gave her her dumb present, said a quick goodbye and hope she has a great fucking life and that it stays seven levels of hell away from mine.
On my last day there, my flight got delayed. I waited at the airport until evening, and that's when the airport apologized for the weather and announced that our flight was cancelled. They asked us to return the next day for a rescheduled flight. I can't get mad at anyone for this one because this one was no one's fault. But I was so eager to gtfo of that country that this was still a huge disappointment.
I was summing up all the expenses involved with the trip:
$5,500 - our tickets
$2,000 - wedding gift
$1,000 - gifts for the other family members
$800 - clothes/shoes/jewelry for all five days
$1,500 - estimated value of the stolen shit/cost to replace the urgent things (glasses, contacts, shoes, underwear, bridal party-appropriate dresses, etcetc)
$2,000 - mom's living expenses for the next month
That's over $12K down the drain. It was my first year making my own money, and I can't believe I wasted it on her. I know stress makes people go haywire, and that country is notorious for bringing out the worst in people, but I swear, if she had been a little less appalling, it might have been worth it. She wasn't though, and I really hope I don't have to see her again after this.
Reasons why I liked the trip:
Halal food. I am 5 pounds fatter again.
Met the president of the bank.
Got to bond with my dad's eldest bro. Never spent much time with him before until now, he's kinda' weird and kinda' funny lol I might like him a lot. Never thought work would be a source of such pleasant conversation LOL.
The babies are hella cute.
I got a new facebook profile picture.
I learned to appreciate mom's side of the family a hell of a lot more.
Converted my Dubai cousin into a kdrama junkie, and also gave her someone in the family she could confide in. She was genuinely so open and happy that last day that I felt sorry for never spending much time with her before this. She's growing up very much the same way I did, except I don't think she's opened up to anyone, ever.