Round Two Reviews - Part 25
Want to help us review in Round Three? Please check out our invitation!
Today's Featured Stories Include:
*
The Top Five by funmonkey Link goes to Teaspoon
Category: Tenth Doctor
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Jack Harkness
Rating: PG13
Details: Single-part vignette, the author’s only story on the Spoon, wherein the Doctor and Jack get completely wasted.
Why It Rocks:
The Doctor has a Top Five Would-Shag List. And David Bowie is number 4. How could it possibly get better than that? Well, it does when you add Jack to the mix, trying to find out if he’s even on the list at all.
Blokes don’t normally do the whole sex-confessions thing, unlike women, who often will get together with girlfriends and do the kiss-and-tell - you can just imagine Martha telling Donna about the Doctor kissing her on the moon, can’t you? But get a couple of blokes drunk - more than drunk: completely and utterly wasted on Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blasters, and who knows what could happen?
These particular umbrellas, however, had been removed from the glasses and were now sticking out of the front tuft of the Doctor's hair, signalling to all that he was very drunk, and also an idiot.
You see, the Doctor’s got used to Jack’s ‘wrongness’ now, and even started to see it as an advantage. Unlike other human companions, who might actually hurt themselves if they get into trouble, Jack’s a bit indestructible. So he’s got into the habit of picking Jack up from Cardiff from time to time to take him for a trip. Solo, because... well, just because.
"So where did you leave Donna?"
"Yes, Donna, uh, I left her at her house. She's picking up....stuff. I told her I'd be back in ten minutes."
"Uh - huh."
Because trips to the arse-end of the universe to get drunk in a seedy bar are really best kept for the boys, really. Donna would have dragged them both out by their ears and made them take her to a decent pub - or better still, a posh resort hotel - for some proper cocktails.
Anyway. Back to the story. So, with a digression that tells us that Jack knows settings on the sonic screwdriver the Doctor would prefer not to admit exists -
“You went through my stuff? Of course you went through my stuff. I can’t believe I left you in the TARDIS on your own...”
“I’m sorry, what exactly was it about me, was it the shady military background, or the fact I was trying to con you, that screamed ‘hey, let me into your home and leave me unsupervised with all your possessions’. Of course I went through your stuff.”
- we finally arrive at a revelation the Doctor would never have made had he been sober: he’s half-human. And, Jack being Jack, jumps to the obvious conclusion:
“So Time Lords can sleep with humans.”
“Yes, but, Jack...” The Doctor was readjusting his glasses.
“Time Lords have slept with humans.”
Jack then manages to discover that the Doctor hasn’t slept with a human (so far), and the Doctor lets slip:
“If I ever chose to sleep with a human…”
Jack smiled, wryly. “It wouldn’t be me.”
“Well, no.” It was sort of honestly truthful. “But you’re on the list?” He added.
Whoops. So, of course, now Jack has to find out exactly where he is on the list, and who else is on it. All I’ll say is that David Bowie is at number 4:
“...Hey...You know that Bowie song, ‘Starman’...”
“Don’ask.”
And is Jack even on the list? Well, read for yourself. And remember that both characters are very, very drunk. And that the Doctor would still rather have all his teeth extracted manually by Cybermen than admit to Jack that he fancies him.
Vote for The Top Five because it’s quite the funniest story you’ll ever read about Jack and the Doctor. Oh, there’s no deep meaning in here, no character meta or anything like that. It’s not going to make you look at an episode in a different light or anything like that. But sometimes we all need something to make us laugh out loud, and whether you ship Doctor/Rose, Doctor/Martha, Doctor/TARDIS or Doctor/Pain - or Doctor/Jack - there’s lots in here to make you do exactly that.
*
The Flowers series by butterfly Link is to all three stories, which must be read in order
Category: AU/Alternate Universe
Characters: Eleventh Doctor (author-created), Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler (sort of), original companion
Rating: First two stories PG13, final story NC-17
Details: Series of three short stories, all need to be read to make sense, in which the Tenth Doctor regenerates into a body that looks very, very familiar. Crackfic, but not entirely.
Why It Rocks:
Because, although butterfly takes a completely cracky premise and runs with it, the series takes a deeply emotional turn in the third instalment, focusing on love and loss and healing. Even if all you’re here for is the kink, though, think about this: the Doctor in Rose’s body + Jack who always fancied both the Doctor and Rose = a very kinky threesome with just two people present.
For once, the Doctor has told a companion about regeneration, that one day he might turn into a completely different person right in front of them. So, when he does regenerate, he’s taken aback at his companion’s reaction - until she points out one fact:
“You didn't say anything about turning into a woman.”
And he has turned into a woman. One very specific woman, in fact.
“If my people were still around, they'd put me through a therapeutic mind-link for this,” he muttered.
Because there, staring back at him in the mirror, was Rose Tyler.
Being a woman is a strange enough experience as it is - getting used to having breasts and other female appendages while his/her brain still feels wired to think as a man (which is why the Doctor thinks of himself as ‘he’ throughout these stories - without looking in the mirror and seeing the woman he loved and sent away three times for her own good. But also there’s the problem of what clothes to wear... which sends him/her to the wardrobe room, which brings him/her in front of a mirror, looking at the body he used to travel with, and lust after. Also to Rose’s clothes, still hanging in the room. And an idea starts to take root, which involves Rose’s clothes and Rose’s old bedroom and a very long time undisturbed.
As soon as [his companion] was out of hearing range, he started sprinting to where his room was, opening the door quickly and then looking up hopefully.
And he grinned, that insanely large smile of Rose's.
The entire ceiling was now a mirror.
In the comments on the first story, people started speculating on what other characters’ reactions to the Doctor’s new body would be, in particular Jack and Mickey, which is what sparked the two sequels, in which the Doctor goes to visit Jack and... well, we all know Jack, so we can imagine. Especially as we know how Jack felt about Rose:
The Doctor looked at him again, her eyebrow lifting in a way that reminded him distinctly of the brown-haired Doctor. “Oi! Stop looking at me like you're picturing me without my clothes.”
“But that's how I always looked at Rose,” Jack said, lightly.
And we also know how he feels about the Doctor. So this is where it gets really cracky: can we have threesome sex with only two people present? And yet, in a way, this is what they’re leading up to:
“Jack, if I didn't sleep with you before and I wasn't keen on the notion of Rose fancying you, why would I decide that it would be a good idea to sleep with you because I look like Rose?” She looked delightfully baffled and utterly kissable.
“You have no proof that I was going to ask that,” Jack said.
“Except for the small fact of having met you,” the Doctor said.
“Still, if you haven't been a woman before - have you? no? - well, you might want to consider breaking in the equipment. And who better to ask than a dear friend?”
“That... almost sounds reasonable,” the Doctor said. “And yet, notice how all of my clothes are still on.”
The Doctor still considers himself male, even with a female body. Jack sees him/her as the Doctor. He’s also seeing Rose’s body. The Doctor’s already... um... had fun with his new body. And, as s/he and Jack start to get down to it, in the third story, the Doctor’s watching the two of them in the mirror:
With a thought, the light around them strengthened and he could see Rose's reflection in the ceiling - her mouth was open, even redder than normal, her body bent back to receive Ja- a dark-haired man's attention. This could... this could...
It’s him and Jack making love, but it’s also him watching Rose make love with a man who - in the dim light of the bedroom - could be the other him, the half-human Doctor. So, while this story is mostly cracky and also quite kinky, there are poignant moments: both Jack and the Doctor have suffered losses which still pain them. And, in a switch to seriousness for a minute, Jack does understand what the Doctor’s going through:
“This is you and me,” Jack said, brushing his lips against the skin under the Doctor's ear. “I know that it's hard, but you're just going to torture yourself if you keep thinking about her. We're the only two people in this room right now. Focus on that.”
It’s here that the story turns from crack into something more serious, where the two of them are focused not only on each other but on the invisible third (and even fourth) person, and with helping each other - though mostly Jack helping the Doctor - let go and move on. And, in making love with Jack in his new body, there is hope for the Doctor to be able to let go.
I think, much as I enjoyed the initial premise and the idea that the Doctor would break in his/her new body with Jack, it’s the switch in the final story from completely cracky to an emotional, character-driven encounter that really makes this series memorable for me. And that’s why it deserves your vote, in my opinion: yes, it’s a fun read and it’ll mess with your brain a bit (the Doctor in Rose’s body? But still thinking of himself as a man?), but it’s much more than that, too.
*
All in a Day’s Work, by miss_baxter Link goes to Teaspoon
Category: Donna Noble
Characters: Donna Noble, an invading force of Vogons
Rating: PG13
Details: Single-part ficlet in which Donna proves that the Doctor’s not always necessary to repel an invading force
Why It Rocks:
This story proves what many of us have long suspected: that the scariest thing in the universe isn’t a Dalek or a Cyberman or even a natural disaster. It’s bureaucracy.
Disclaimer This story is a crossover with Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. This review is written by a reviewer who knows nothing about HHGG.
Donna, just recovered from almost being eaten by a giant spider on her wedding-day, is back at work, in a new job as a receptionist for the council - specifically, the London Borough Planning Commission. She’s only been there two weeks when one day a giant yellow spaceship lands just outside. And she just knows that it’s all the Doctor’s fault.
‘Ruins my wedding and then he ruins my new job. Bloody typical.’
Because Donna, like me, has never read the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, she has absolutely no idea who the aliens tramping their way across the lawn and the broken glass towards her are - or how dangerous they are, as the Guide explains:
‘They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy - not actually evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous.’
Bureaucratic, definitely. Because, when they’ve tramped across the reception area and reached what remains of Donna’s desk, and while Donna’s looking around for the Doctor to appear at any moment - because that’s his job, yeah? - the lead Vogon, instead of pointing his gun at her, or killing people at random, as one might expect invading aliens to do, tapped one finger impatiently upon the counter. Tap tap taptap.
Because... that’s what you do in a government office, isn’t it? Tap on the counter and wait for assistance?
Assistance, Donna realises, that she needs to provide. So, doing her job, she politely enquires what they want, and is told:
‘I said, we’ve come to demolish the Eastern Hemisphere to make way for an Algolian Hyperspatial Service Station. You need to sign here.’ He thumped a stack of papers onto the counter.
This is where the Vogons make their biggest mistake, because now, of course, we’re on Donna’s territory. Paperwork. Bureaucracy. Because, besides being brilliant, Donna is an administrator. Rules, procedures, bylaws, protocols, application forms, manuals: you name it, she’s dealt with it. And made sure that, whatever else got done, the paperwork was always properly completed and signed. All of it.
According to the Vogons, the paperwork has been completed. But only on Alpha Centauri. That’s not good enough for Earth protocols, declares Donna:
‘I’ll have to see if we’ve got the rest of the paperwork on file, then.’
The frown that appeared on the Vogon’s face was a frightening sight. ‘What do you mean, the rest of the paperwork?’
‘I mean, the rest of the paperwork.’ She ran through documents, scanning for a suitable form. ‘You know. The paperwork where you’ve got to sign off on insurance and agree to compensation against damages to home and lives etc.’ She paused for effect. ‘The bit where you’ve got to actually pay everyone who lives in the Eastern Hemisphere for depriving them of their homes. That’s more than 75% of the Earth’s population.’ She let that one sink in. ‘You’ll have to negotiate a compensatory amount before you’re allowed to progress with construction according to Earth law.’ She was winging it as she went along, but that was all right, wasn’t it? When dealing with aliens, do as aliens do... ‘It’ll have to go through Earth courts as well. That’s a fair bit of money.’ And then, almost as an afterthought. ‘That’s a lot of individual forms to sign.’ Pause. ‘In triplicate.’
The moral of the story? If you’re planning an alien invasion, never argue over bureaucracy with Donna Noble. Oh, and if you’re the Doctor, don’t assume that us humans can’t fight off an alien invasion without you - or that we can’t do it even better than you.
If you’ve ever had to wrestle with red tape, ever had to fill in pointless forms in triplicate and supply some governmental or regulatory organisation with reams of paperwork it already has, or found yourself agreeing with Weber that bureaucracy really is a polar night of icy darkness where the growing formalisation of human activities traps people in an iron cage of rule-based control, you’ll agree that this story deserves its nomination, and its vote. You’ll give it a wry smile, or perhaps even laugh out loud, at the final triumph of red tape over every threat to its existence. And, of course, the brilliance of Donna Noble, who even gets to tell the Doctor:
Don’t know where you were, but I was magnificent.
And so is this story. Now, just sign here, please, and don’t forget to read the small print...
*
Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly by supasass
Category: Ten/Martha
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Martha Jones
Rating: G
Details: Single-part ficlet, set some time after Journey’s End
Why It Rocks:
The mark of a true friend is that she (or he) is the person you can go to no matter the hour, no matter what they’re doing, and they won’t ask questions or demand answers you’re not ready to give. No matter, even, how you treated them the last time you saw them. The Doctor does actually have a number of friends who fall into this category. His problem is that he almost never realises it - or, if he does, he doesn’t take advantage of them when he needs to.
This time, though, he does. Martha, at home eating dinner in front of the TV, is startled to find him on her doorstep:
She smiled, as if everything would be alright and he didn’t smile back. He just looked. Martha wanted to say he was staring, but that would mean he had some focus on her. He looked lost.
She doesn’t ask him what’s wrong. She doesn’t make him talk. She just goes with him, and that’s the true beauty of this story - the quiet. They go to a lake, and they just stand there, side by side, in complete silence.
Martha had never been to a place so quiet. No sound apart from the beep-beep of native fireflies nestled in the grass, the moonlight turning it a deep, rich purple. The silence gave her moments to think. It filled her head with transparent thoughts, like how does he live for today?
Oh, the Doctor does talk, after a while, but it’s just as Donna tells him in The Doctor’s Daughter: “you talk and talk, but you never say anything.” He natters on about the place, and the aliens and their habits, about cooking and travelling to the Lake District, free-associating and talking nonsense just as he always does, but he tells Martha nothing. Not that she expects him to. She knows him well enough to understand that he won’t, and she’s enough his friend not to ask. She just takes his hand. And finally, he admits:
“I needed you here tonight.”
And that’s the simple beauty of this story. We know that horrible things have happened to the Doctor; perhaps it’s the loss of Rose and Donna, perhaps it’s something else. We don’t know, and we won’t know. What happened isn’t the point. The point is that just being with someone who cares, someone you love, can help to ease the pain. It isn’t necessary to bare your soul; the companionship of someone who understands is enough.
And I think that’s what I believe is this story’s greatest strength. It’s hurt/comfort in 784 words, and it’s more powerful, more soothing, more satisfying than many stories ten times the length. It feels real, too. We know the Doctor; we know he’s the last person to talk and talk for hours about his feelings. Maybe eventually he’ll tell Martha something, but by that time she’ll have long stopped expecting him to. She doesn’t need to talk in return, to shower him with comforting phrases and healing hugs. All she needs to do is to be there, touch his hand, share the silence and the beautiful, wild alien scene with him.
Vote for Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly because it’s a beautiful, soothing story about friendship, about comfort and about the strength of silence. And because you’ll just hope that something very much like this did happen after Journey’s End.
*
Dance with the Devil by shatteredqueen
Category: Other Character
Characters: Lucy Saxon, Harold Saxon (The Master)
Rating: Unrated; I’d give it PG
Details: Ficlet - very short, only 361 words
Why It Rocks:
One of the more intriguing minor characters in Doctor Who is Lucy Saxon. Who is she? Where did she come from? How did she become involved with Harold Saxon, and what keeps her with him? All we know - from the two episodes where she featured, and from a tie-in website - is that she’s from a privileged background (father a peer and member of the House of Lords, educated at an exclusive fee-paying school and then at one of Scotland’s top universities - St Andrews, also attended by Prince William), and that she met Saxon as his autobiography was published.
We see her in the episodes as superficially a little vapid, uninterested in politics, a trophy wife. Yet, behind closed doors, we glimpse her as a participant in the Master’s games. She’s not an innocent dupe by any means. She gloats over some of his killings, and is ready to revel in his conquest of the Earth. And yet we discover later that she’s an abused wife - the bruises we see on her face - and, of course, in the end she’s the one who kills the Master, in an action that could be seen as what the English courts have come to recognise as ‘battered wife syndrome’.
What goes on inside Lucy Saxon’s head? Well, we don’t know, but perhaps it’s exactly as shatteredqueen describes for us here:
She had been raised to believe in God, but she found worshipping the Devil so much more alluring.
Oh, yes. Very credible, that, and it’s a story we’ve seen fictionalised so many times before: spoilt rich girl goes for the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Except that he isn’t a Hell’s Angel with tattoos and scars; Saxon has learned how to play all the games of the political movers and shakers, but there’s just something about him that tells Lucy he’s different:
His smile was charming and his eyes mysterious, and it was easy enough to follow him even when he walked through fire. Or maybe it was easy simply because he wallowed in flames and she longed to feel them lick across her flesh, crackling and biting at everything she hated. Purity by fire and he would bathe her in ecstasy like no other could.
The ficlet is built on religious imagery, and it works so well to explain precisely why Lucy is attracted to Harry, although I do believe that perhaps this explains it best of all:
He gave her attention.
So she gave him everything.
The story’s very short; in fact, you’d have read it in less time than it’s taken you to read this review. It’s the brevity that makes it powerful, though. The style, too, is clever; the flow of the text actually feels like the movements of a dance. Lucy Saxon, dancing with the Devil because he beckons to her, and he fascinates her.
Dance with the Devil deserves its nomination - and your vote - because it puts the spotlight on a character who, despite her importance to the resolution of S3, we know so very little about, and it gets Lucy, in my opinion - that beautiful, but maybe mentally unstable woman who gets in league with the devil and lives to regret the Faustian bargain she made. It’s clever, compelling and laden with imagery, and it absolutely deserves a vote.
*
Today's reviews were written by wendymr.
Today's Featured Stories Include:
*
The Top Five by funmonkey Link goes to Teaspoon
Category: Tenth Doctor
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Jack Harkness
Rating: PG13
Details: Single-part vignette, the author’s only story on the Spoon, wherein the Doctor and Jack get completely wasted.
Why It Rocks:
The Doctor has a Top Five Would-Shag List. And David Bowie is number 4. How could it possibly get better than that? Well, it does when you add Jack to the mix, trying to find out if he’s even on the list at all.
Blokes don’t normally do the whole sex-confessions thing, unlike women, who often will get together with girlfriends and do the kiss-and-tell - you can just imagine Martha telling Donna about the Doctor kissing her on the moon, can’t you? But get a couple of blokes drunk - more than drunk: completely and utterly wasted on Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blasters, and who knows what could happen?
These particular umbrellas, however, had been removed from the glasses and were now sticking out of the front tuft of the Doctor's hair, signalling to all that he was very drunk, and also an idiot.
You see, the Doctor’s got used to Jack’s ‘wrongness’ now, and even started to see it as an advantage. Unlike other human companions, who might actually hurt themselves if they get into trouble, Jack’s a bit indestructible. So he’s got into the habit of picking Jack up from Cardiff from time to time to take him for a trip. Solo, because... well, just because.
"So where did you leave Donna?"
"Yes, Donna, uh, I left her at her house. She's picking up....stuff. I told her I'd be back in ten minutes."
"Uh - huh."
Because trips to the arse-end of the universe to get drunk in a seedy bar are really best kept for the boys, really. Donna would have dragged them both out by their ears and made them take her to a decent pub - or better still, a posh resort hotel - for some proper cocktails.
Anyway. Back to the story. So, with a digression that tells us that Jack knows settings on the sonic screwdriver the Doctor would prefer not to admit exists -
“You went through my stuff? Of course you went through my stuff. I can’t believe I left you in the TARDIS on your own...”
“I’m sorry, what exactly was it about me, was it the shady military background, or the fact I was trying to con you, that screamed ‘hey, let me into your home and leave me unsupervised with all your possessions’. Of course I went through your stuff.”
- we finally arrive at a revelation the Doctor would never have made had he been sober: he’s half-human. And, Jack being Jack, jumps to the obvious conclusion:
“So Time Lords can sleep with humans.”
“Yes, but, Jack...” The Doctor was readjusting his glasses.
“Time Lords have slept with humans.”
Jack then manages to discover that the Doctor hasn’t slept with a human (so far), and the Doctor lets slip:
“If I ever chose to sleep with a human…”
Jack smiled, wryly. “It wouldn’t be me.”
“Well, no.” It was sort of honestly truthful. “But you’re on the list?” He added.
Whoops. So, of course, now Jack has to find out exactly where he is on the list, and who else is on it. All I’ll say is that David Bowie is at number 4:
“...Hey...You know that Bowie song, ‘Starman’...”
“Don’ask.”
And is Jack even on the list? Well, read for yourself. And remember that both characters are very, very drunk. And that the Doctor would still rather have all his teeth extracted manually by Cybermen than admit to Jack that he fancies him.
Vote for The Top Five because it’s quite the funniest story you’ll ever read about Jack and the Doctor. Oh, there’s no deep meaning in here, no character meta or anything like that. It’s not going to make you look at an episode in a different light or anything like that. But sometimes we all need something to make us laugh out loud, and whether you ship Doctor/Rose, Doctor/Martha, Doctor/TARDIS or Doctor/Pain - or Doctor/Jack - there’s lots in here to make you do exactly that.
*
The Flowers series by butterfly Link is to all three stories, which must be read in order
Category: AU/Alternate Universe
Characters: Eleventh Doctor (author-created), Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler (sort of), original companion
Rating: First two stories PG13, final story NC-17
Details: Series of three short stories, all need to be read to make sense, in which the Tenth Doctor regenerates into a body that looks very, very familiar. Crackfic, but not entirely.
Why It Rocks:
Because, although butterfly takes a completely cracky premise and runs with it, the series takes a deeply emotional turn in the third instalment, focusing on love and loss and healing. Even if all you’re here for is the kink, though, think about this: the Doctor in Rose’s body + Jack who always fancied both the Doctor and Rose = a very kinky threesome with just two people present.
For once, the Doctor has told a companion about regeneration, that one day he might turn into a completely different person right in front of them. So, when he does regenerate, he’s taken aback at his companion’s reaction - until she points out one fact:
“You didn't say anything about turning into a woman.”
And he has turned into a woman. One very specific woman, in fact.
“If my people were still around, they'd put me through a therapeutic mind-link for this,” he muttered.
Because there, staring back at him in the mirror, was Rose Tyler.
Being a woman is a strange enough experience as it is - getting used to having breasts and other female appendages while his/her brain still feels wired to think as a man (which is why the Doctor thinks of himself as ‘he’ throughout these stories - without looking in the mirror and seeing the woman he loved and sent away three times for her own good. But also there’s the problem of what clothes to wear... which sends him/her to the wardrobe room, which brings him/her in front of a mirror, looking at the body he used to travel with, and lust after. Also to Rose’s clothes, still hanging in the room. And an idea starts to take root, which involves Rose’s clothes and Rose’s old bedroom and a very long time undisturbed.
As soon as [his companion] was out of hearing range, he started sprinting to where his room was, opening the door quickly and then looking up hopefully.
And he grinned, that insanely large smile of Rose's.
The entire ceiling was now a mirror.
In the comments on the first story, people started speculating on what other characters’ reactions to the Doctor’s new body would be, in particular Jack and Mickey, which is what sparked the two sequels, in which the Doctor goes to visit Jack and... well, we all know Jack, so we can imagine. Especially as we know how Jack felt about Rose:
The Doctor looked at him again, her eyebrow lifting in a way that reminded him distinctly of the brown-haired Doctor. “Oi! Stop looking at me like you're picturing me without my clothes.”
“But that's how I always looked at Rose,” Jack said, lightly.
And we also know how he feels about the Doctor. So this is where it gets really cracky: can we have threesome sex with only two people present? And yet, in a way, this is what they’re leading up to:
“Jack, if I didn't sleep with you before and I wasn't keen on the notion of Rose fancying you, why would I decide that it would be a good idea to sleep with you because I look like Rose?” She looked delightfully baffled and utterly kissable.
“You have no proof that I was going to ask that,” Jack said.
“Except for the small fact of having met you,” the Doctor said.
“Still, if you haven't been a woman before - have you? no? - well, you might want to consider breaking in the equipment. And who better to ask than a dear friend?”
“That... almost sounds reasonable,” the Doctor said. “And yet, notice how all of my clothes are still on.”
The Doctor still considers himself male, even with a female body. Jack sees him/her as the Doctor. He’s also seeing Rose’s body. The Doctor’s already... um... had fun with his new body. And, as s/he and Jack start to get down to it, in the third story, the Doctor’s watching the two of them in the mirror:
With a thought, the light around them strengthened and he could see Rose's reflection in the ceiling - her mouth was open, even redder than normal, her body bent back to receive Ja- a dark-haired man's attention. This could... this could...
It’s him and Jack making love, but it’s also him watching Rose make love with a man who - in the dim light of the bedroom - could be the other him, the half-human Doctor. So, while this story is mostly cracky and also quite kinky, there are poignant moments: both Jack and the Doctor have suffered losses which still pain them. And, in a switch to seriousness for a minute, Jack does understand what the Doctor’s going through:
“This is you and me,” Jack said, brushing his lips against the skin under the Doctor's ear. “I know that it's hard, but you're just going to torture yourself if you keep thinking about her. We're the only two people in this room right now. Focus on that.”
It’s here that the story turns from crack into something more serious, where the two of them are focused not only on each other but on the invisible third (and even fourth) person, and with helping each other - though mostly Jack helping the Doctor - let go and move on. And, in making love with Jack in his new body, there is hope for the Doctor to be able to let go.
I think, much as I enjoyed the initial premise and the idea that the Doctor would break in his/her new body with Jack, it’s the switch in the final story from completely cracky to an emotional, character-driven encounter that really makes this series memorable for me. And that’s why it deserves your vote, in my opinion: yes, it’s a fun read and it’ll mess with your brain a bit (the Doctor in Rose’s body? But still thinking of himself as a man?), but it’s much more than that, too.
*
All in a Day’s Work, by miss_baxter Link goes to Teaspoon
Category: Donna Noble
Characters: Donna Noble, an invading force of Vogons
Rating: PG13
Details: Single-part ficlet in which Donna proves that the Doctor’s not always necessary to repel an invading force
Why It Rocks:
This story proves what many of us have long suspected: that the scariest thing in the universe isn’t a Dalek or a Cyberman or even a natural disaster. It’s bureaucracy.
Disclaimer This story is a crossover with Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. This review is written by a reviewer who knows nothing about HHGG.
Donna, just recovered from almost being eaten by a giant spider on her wedding-day, is back at work, in a new job as a receptionist for the council - specifically, the London Borough Planning Commission. She’s only been there two weeks when one day a giant yellow spaceship lands just outside. And she just knows that it’s all the Doctor’s fault.
‘Ruins my wedding and then he ruins my new job. Bloody typical.’
Because Donna, like me, has never read the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, she has absolutely no idea who the aliens tramping their way across the lawn and the broken glass towards her are - or how dangerous they are, as the Guide explains:
‘They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy - not actually evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous.’
Bureaucratic, definitely. Because, when they’ve tramped across the reception area and reached what remains of Donna’s desk, and while Donna’s looking around for the Doctor to appear at any moment - because that’s his job, yeah? - the lead Vogon, instead of pointing his gun at her, or killing people at random, as one might expect invading aliens to do, tapped one finger impatiently upon the counter. Tap tap taptap.
Because... that’s what you do in a government office, isn’t it? Tap on the counter and wait for assistance?
Assistance, Donna realises, that she needs to provide. So, doing her job, she politely enquires what they want, and is told:
‘I said, we’ve come to demolish the Eastern Hemisphere to make way for an Algolian Hyperspatial Service Station. You need to sign here.’ He thumped a stack of papers onto the counter.
This is where the Vogons make their biggest mistake, because now, of course, we’re on Donna’s territory. Paperwork. Bureaucracy. Because, besides being brilliant, Donna is an administrator. Rules, procedures, bylaws, protocols, application forms, manuals: you name it, she’s dealt with it. And made sure that, whatever else got done, the paperwork was always properly completed and signed. All of it.
According to the Vogons, the paperwork has been completed. But only on Alpha Centauri. That’s not good enough for Earth protocols, declares Donna:
‘I’ll have to see if we’ve got the rest of the paperwork on file, then.’
The frown that appeared on the Vogon’s face was a frightening sight. ‘What do you mean, the rest of the paperwork?’
‘I mean, the rest of the paperwork.’ She ran through documents, scanning for a suitable form. ‘You know. The paperwork where you’ve got to sign off on insurance and agree to compensation against damages to home and lives etc.’ She paused for effect. ‘The bit where you’ve got to actually pay everyone who lives in the Eastern Hemisphere for depriving them of their homes. That’s more than 75% of the Earth’s population.’ She let that one sink in. ‘You’ll have to negotiate a compensatory amount before you’re allowed to progress with construction according to Earth law.’ She was winging it as she went along, but that was all right, wasn’t it? When dealing with aliens, do as aliens do... ‘It’ll have to go through Earth courts as well. That’s a fair bit of money.’ And then, almost as an afterthought. ‘That’s a lot of individual forms to sign.’ Pause. ‘In triplicate.’
The moral of the story? If you’re planning an alien invasion, never argue over bureaucracy with Donna Noble. Oh, and if you’re the Doctor, don’t assume that us humans can’t fight off an alien invasion without you - or that we can’t do it even better than you.
If you’ve ever had to wrestle with red tape, ever had to fill in pointless forms in triplicate and supply some governmental or regulatory organisation with reams of paperwork it already has, or found yourself agreeing with Weber that bureaucracy really is a polar night of icy darkness where the growing formalisation of human activities traps people in an iron cage of rule-based control, you’ll agree that this story deserves its nomination, and its vote. You’ll give it a wry smile, or perhaps even laugh out loud, at the final triumph of red tape over every threat to its existence. And, of course, the brilliance of Donna Noble, who even gets to tell the Doctor:
Don’t know where you were, but I was magnificent.
And so is this story. Now, just sign here, please, and don’t forget to read the small print...
*
Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly by supasass
Category: Ten/Martha
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Martha Jones
Rating: G
Details: Single-part ficlet, set some time after Journey’s End
Why It Rocks:
The mark of a true friend is that she (or he) is the person you can go to no matter the hour, no matter what they’re doing, and they won’t ask questions or demand answers you’re not ready to give. No matter, even, how you treated them the last time you saw them. The Doctor does actually have a number of friends who fall into this category. His problem is that he almost never realises it - or, if he does, he doesn’t take advantage of them when he needs to.
This time, though, he does. Martha, at home eating dinner in front of the TV, is startled to find him on her doorstep:
She smiled, as if everything would be alright and he didn’t smile back. He just looked. Martha wanted to say he was staring, but that would mean he had some focus on her. He looked lost.
She doesn’t ask him what’s wrong. She doesn’t make him talk. She just goes with him, and that’s the true beauty of this story - the quiet. They go to a lake, and they just stand there, side by side, in complete silence.
Martha had never been to a place so quiet. No sound apart from the beep-beep of native fireflies nestled in the grass, the moonlight turning it a deep, rich purple. The silence gave her moments to think. It filled her head with transparent thoughts, like how does he live for today?
Oh, the Doctor does talk, after a while, but it’s just as Donna tells him in The Doctor’s Daughter: “you talk and talk, but you never say anything.” He natters on about the place, and the aliens and their habits, about cooking and travelling to the Lake District, free-associating and talking nonsense just as he always does, but he tells Martha nothing. Not that she expects him to. She knows him well enough to understand that he won’t, and she’s enough his friend not to ask. She just takes his hand. And finally, he admits:
“I needed you here tonight.”
And that’s the simple beauty of this story. We know that horrible things have happened to the Doctor; perhaps it’s the loss of Rose and Donna, perhaps it’s something else. We don’t know, and we won’t know. What happened isn’t the point. The point is that just being with someone who cares, someone you love, can help to ease the pain. It isn’t necessary to bare your soul; the companionship of someone who understands is enough.
And I think that’s what I believe is this story’s greatest strength. It’s hurt/comfort in 784 words, and it’s more powerful, more soothing, more satisfying than many stories ten times the length. It feels real, too. We know the Doctor; we know he’s the last person to talk and talk for hours about his feelings. Maybe eventually he’ll tell Martha something, but by that time she’ll have long stopped expecting him to. She doesn’t need to talk in return, to shower him with comforting phrases and healing hugs. All she needs to do is to be there, touch his hand, share the silence and the beautiful, wild alien scene with him.
Vote for Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly because it’s a beautiful, soothing story about friendship, about comfort and about the strength of silence. And because you’ll just hope that something very much like this did happen after Journey’s End.
*
Dance with the Devil by shatteredqueen
Category: Other Character
Characters: Lucy Saxon, Harold Saxon (The Master)
Rating: Unrated; I’d give it PG
Details: Ficlet - very short, only 361 words
Why It Rocks:
One of the more intriguing minor characters in Doctor Who is Lucy Saxon. Who is she? Where did she come from? How did she become involved with Harold Saxon, and what keeps her with him? All we know - from the two episodes where she featured, and from a tie-in website - is that she’s from a privileged background (father a peer and member of the House of Lords, educated at an exclusive fee-paying school and then at one of Scotland’s top universities - St Andrews, also attended by Prince William), and that she met Saxon as his autobiography was published.
We see her in the episodes as superficially a little vapid, uninterested in politics, a trophy wife. Yet, behind closed doors, we glimpse her as a participant in the Master’s games. She’s not an innocent dupe by any means. She gloats over some of his killings, and is ready to revel in his conquest of the Earth. And yet we discover later that she’s an abused wife - the bruises we see on her face - and, of course, in the end she’s the one who kills the Master, in an action that could be seen as what the English courts have come to recognise as ‘battered wife syndrome’.
What goes on inside Lucy Saxon’s head? Well, we don’t know, but perhaps it’s exactly as shatteredqueen describes for us here:
She had been raised to believe in God, but she found worshipping the Devil so much more alluring.
Oh, yes. Very credible, that, and it’s a story we’ve seen fictionalised so many times before: spoilt rich girl goes for the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Except that he isn’t a Hell’s Angel with tattoos and scars; Saxon has learned how to play all the games of the political movers and shakers, but there’s just something about him that tells Lucy he’s different:
His smile was charming and his eyes mysterious, and it was easy enough to follow him even when he walked through fire. Or maybe it was easy simply because he wallowed in flames and she longed to feel them lick across her flesh, crackling and biting at everything she hated. Purity by fire and he would bathe her in ecstasy like no other could.
The ficlet is built on religious imagery, and it works so well to explain precisely why Lucy is attracted to Harry, although I do believe that perhaps this explains it best of all:
He gave her attention.
So she gave him everything.
The story’s very short; in fact, you’d have read it in less time than it’s taken you to read this review. It’s the brevity that makes it powerful, though. The style, too, is clever; the flow of the text actually feels like the movements of a dance. Lucy Saxon, dancing with the Devil because he beckons to her, and he fascinates her.
Dance with the Devil deserves its nomination - and your vote - because it puts the spotlight on a character who, despite her importance to the resolution of S3, we know so very little about, and it gets Lucy, in my opinion - that beautiful, but maybe mentally unstable woman who gets in league with the devil and lives to regret the Faustian bargain she made. It’s clever, compelling and laden with imagery, and it absolutely deserves a vote.
*
Today's reviews were written by wendymr.