Yeah. That's it, this isnt getting put on facebook because i cant control the comments on it. and this will probably piss people off. So WHAT. christmas is designed to make people like me feel like shit. I'm lesbian, pagan, and i'm tall and fat, and i have tattoos and piercings. I disowned my own family because they were so abusive and ( Read more... )

i know some people may find this silly, but I swear Vanessa visited my dream last night. I had a bunch of really bisarre dreams....one iwth a sort of psychic dream within a dream. and then i was at some odd club trapped in a car and she sits by me and slowly i figure out who she is. i woke up as soon as she was gone within the dream. I miss her but ( Read more... )

i feel as if no one wants me. i havent had a girlfriend for 4 years, not for lack of trying. i dont come on too strong, i just try to find someone that would really love me. i want someone to actually want to be my girlfriend, somedays its so far in the past i feel as if ive never been anyone's girlfriend. i go out of my way to be there for anyone ( Read more... )

It hurts so much...I don't even know why...my ex wife killed herself many years ago. Everytime I think about it now, I want to cut out my heart with a sharp blade..it hurts that much...she couldn't come to me...she couldn't let me help her..I screamed at her grave and cried and cried. I don't know how I feel anymore I don't know if I know how to ( Read more... )

so after finally really and truly coming out to being lesbian, i find that so many people who seem to have some sort of an interest in me...disappear only for me to find out they went straight. everything from quasi intimate rondevues, to random messages to almost stalkerish insistence that I contact them. I understand sexual confusion.....I've ( Read more... )

i went back to the dark place, and am crying and having trouble thinking, and my credit card is missing. i find that things are unusual and i have a habit of running back in time......i have a gorgeous woman who is interested in me, im not hurting as much for money and i should be happy goddammit...i will do it!

i have been healing...and now i have no walls......im not used to feeling and dont klnow what to do with it.

I am in pain.....I am shaking and nervous it is so hard to talk about myself.......and public speaking is excessively difficult. I feel alone.

I was recently victim to prejudice, as well as having to deal with things I found deeply offensive: this is my letter to my teacher's superiors:

I was a student in Larry Turner’s forensics class. From the first day of class he seemed to have amazing difficulty referring to me by the proper pronouns.  Not only that, he loudly ( Read more... )

I found one. It helped...and it hrut too. I realized a lot of things specifically....my entire childhood I was scared my dad was going to kill me. all....the time I was in his house. every time he beat me every time he screamed at me and even when he hit the dog....I was scared he was going to kill me....that's nwhy I never ran away. it was an ( Read more... )