I Am Not Broken 3/?
Title: I Am Not Broken
Author: couldntxbexme
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them etc.
Summary: Gerard finally snaps and causing chaos makes him happy.
Warnings: Word is my beta, A/N under cut
I Am Not Broken 1
I Am Not Broken 2
A/N- Sorry for the delay, a family member was in the hospital last week so I wasn't able to post. As for word being my beta I beleive this chapter is easier to read than the rest and there might be something you'll like in the chapter. XD Anyways, on with the chapter!
Oh my God, I'm boring myself to death. Gerard's head was splayed out on the table in front of him, tongue lolling lazily and drool flowing freely. His eyes were slightly glazed over as the positive thinking group continued. This class-thing was led by an instructor he'd never seen before and who is far too chipper to work here. He had been hoping that today would go by quickly so he could see Mikey tomorrow- he'd followed the plan for the past two days. Each session with Frank was mostly the same. Yesterday they were given colored pencils and paper to fill the silence with. The scratching on the paper soothed Gerard. Every stroke took him somewhere farther from where he was. At one point he did catch Frank watching him but his eyes darted back to his paper when he had realized Gerard caught him. He wouldn't admit that it was nice and he smirked lightly hoping to catch him again.
His ears picked up part of the lecture as his eyes began to close in a light sleep, "-ositive thinking will help you overcome. Just by changing your attitude you can increase your feeling of well being." Gerard's eyes snapped open, that didn't sit well with him. He sat up quickly- startling the patient beside him. Raising a finger he interrupted the speaker.
"So, you’re saying that if we think about fluffy kittens and cute puppies we will suddenly be alright with the world?" He paused and looked at the desk as if asking it the question, "What the fuck is that?" His voice rose as he looked back at the teacher whom was slightly flustered with his outburst.
"Well," She looked for his name tag but Gerard hadn't filled out one when he walked in. "The relaxing atmosphere created by positive thought will balance your world." He could tell she was getting more confident, making an over zealous rainbow with her outstretched hands.
His eyes were narrowed and mouth slightly open, "Right. Lets see if that can cure the world of starvation." He waved his hands while standing up. "Nope, I'm still fucking hungry. How about war and sickness?" He waved his hands again, his eyes widening with the gesture. He ran to the window like he expected things to change, "Those old bastards are still as senile as ever." He turned and shook his head slowly. The teacher stood still, not sure how to calm him down. He giggled in a high-pitched voice which worried the woman at the front of the room greatly.
Sobering quickly he skipped out of the dead silent classroom. No one made a move to stop him.
He skipped passed the multitude of doors. All the same shape and color. The names on display. The indoor graves. His pace slowed as he shivered, like a piece of ice had slid down his spine. Following the center corridor on the first floor while looking for the stairs he found large barred doors with a surveillance camera pointed at the entrance. There were large glass panels to each side. He peered cautiously into the room beyond. Four uniformed guards sat watching cameras that he assumed were placed around the prison half of the building. The rooms were quite the same except for the dark contrast of the bars that crossed over the windows and the heavy doors meant to keep them away from the world. The inmates and dangerous persons weren't allowed outside and he wondered briefly how far one would have to go before being forgotten in one of the barren rooms.
His heart sank with the thought of things being worse than he already knew. Footsteps coming down the hallway broke Gerard from his thoughts and he hurried down the hall until the stairs sign was visible. He slowed and climbed one stair at a time. Is that the reason he found such contentment sitting with Frank? Because Frank hasn't opened his mouth and tainted the hope of him being a better person? Above all the rest. Besides his family- Mikey, his mother, father, and grandmother, he had been let down by everyone else.
***
Glancing at the clock over the nurse’s station he noticed it was lunch time but didn't feel hungry. Continuing his unproductive meandering he realized that he had been headed towards Frank's room. Without bothering to knock he opened the door and peeked in. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, the dark clouds outside made the room darker than usual. Frank was sitting on his bed with a lunch tray and a spoon hanging out of his mouth. Strangely, it was the happiest- and cutest- he'd ever seen Frank. Gerard moved towards the bed and Frank looked up just then noticing Gerard. Without removing the spoon he grinned largely which prompted Gerard's mouth to mimic the action. Gerard crawled softly onto Frank's bed noticing the tray was empty. Picking up the light blue plastic he looked for a place to put it within his reach. Not finding a place he just dropped it onto the floor with a loud clatter and shrug of the shoulder. Frank had jumped at the sudden noise and the spoon had fallen out of his mouth. Gerard smiled and reached for the paper and pencils on the windowsill and began working on his drawing from yesterday.
Deep in concentration he didn't notice the small shaking hand that was reaching towards his face. The warmth softly landed upon his cheek and he inhaled sharply and raised his eyes to meet the large pair watching him. The hand was smooth and the thumb made small circles until it swooped down over his bottom lip. Unmoving, he allowed Frank to explore his face, the touch sent shivers through his spine. The hand retracted for moment but only to place itself within Gerard's hair, combing it with nimble fingers. He closed his eyes and let out the breath he'd been holding, relaxing into the touch. All too soon the sensation was gone and he opened his eyes to see Frank looking at the drawing he'd been so consumed with. Gerard spun it around so Frank could see it better.
"That’s Mikey, my brother." Smiling warmly remembering the day Mikey had won the science fair, his features lit up. Gerard couldn’t bring himself to even call Mikey a nerd. He had just hugged his younger sibling and told him how proud he was. It had been a turning point in their relationship- no longer the bickering, wrestling, and destructive young boys they had been- from that day they had become closer than ever and Gerard was and would be forever grateful of Mikey's presence.
"It’s really good." The voice snapped Gerard out of his memories and looked up at Frank. Frank laughed a full laugh, not loud, but genuine he supposed. The confused look on Gerard's face must have been quite amusing and he relaxed slightly.
"Why-" he paused, "Why don't you talk?" Frank regarded Gerard silently; the worried look his eyes portrayed seemed genuine.
"There’s no need to talk most times." Frank shrugged lightly, "Most aren't worth talking too." Gerard nodded his head in silent agreement.
"Am I worth talking too?" He asked timidly.
"Weeelll..." Frank smiled and Gerard scrunched up his nose and stuck his tongue out at Frank. They both laughed and Frank pulled open the drawer by his bed to get his drawing supplies.
Throughout their companionable silence Gerard couldn't stop thinking about the touch. He assumed Frank was incapable of speech or maybe had the mindset of a child but in fact it was the opposite. The eyes seemed to take a person in while listening. Watching the small twitches and sighs that come with a person's body language that most don't take the time to notice. A blush crept into Gerard's cheeks when he thought of the feelings that surfaced when his mind began to wander. He glanced up cautiously and was relieved to see Frank deep within his own thoughts while focusing on his drawing. Gerard took in the features- the thin eyebrows, his red lips, the jaw line he'd love to be able to place kisses along... He shook his head roughly trying to clear the thoughts and the blush that had returned. Frank had a confused look on his face but went to find another color when Gerard didn't offer and explanation.
Without a word he returned the utensils and paper to the window and stood up to leave the room. Pausing mid-step and he turned, his mind screaming at him 'now or never fool!' Nearly tripping over himself walking back to the bed, Frank had noticed Gerard's actions and had turned to look at him. Before he knew his plan his pale fingers had reached up and caressed the soft jaw line he had been admiring earlier. Frank made no move and Gerard leaned forward and placed a quick fervent kiss upon Frank's lips.
Taking a step backwards he ran a hand through his hair and blew out his breath nodding slowly. Clearing his throat he rasped out, "Yeah." Staring at the floor. "Yeah." Why did you say it again? Just in case he missed it the first time? He turned away and walked out the door, his head down still nodding. He didn't even look backwards for fear of Frank's expression.
Frank was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. He'd found Gerard attractive the first day he'd run into his room and as they spent more time together he had never pressed Frank to speak. That told Frank more than Gerard's words ever could. He had surprised himself earlier taking such a bold step but it seemed to have paid off. He caressed his tingling lips and smiled.
Author: couldntxbexme
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them etc.
Summary: Gerard finally snaps and causing chaos makes him happy.
Warnings: Word is my beta, A/N under cut
I Am Not Broken 1
I Am Not Broken 2
A/N- Sorry for the delay, a family member was in the hospital last week so I wasn't able to post. As for word being my beta I beleive this chapter is easier to read than the rest and there might be something you'll like in the chapter. XD Anyways, on with the chapter!
Oh my God, I'm boring myself to death. Gerard's head was splayed out on the table in front of him, tongue lolling lazily and drool flowing freely. His eyes were slightly glazed over as the positive thinking group continued. This class-thing was led by an instructor he'd never seen before and who is far too chipper to work here. He had been hoping that today would go by quickly so he could see Mikey tomorrow- he'd followed the plan for the past two days. Each session with Frank was mostly the same. Yesterday they were given colored pencils and paper to fill the silence with. The scratching on the paper soothed Gerard. Every stroke took him somewhere farther from where he was. At one point he did catch Frank watching him but his eyes darted back to his paper when he had realized Gerard caught him. He wouldn't admit that it was nice and he smirked lightly hoping to catch him again.
His ears picked up part of the lecture as his eyes began to close in a light sleep, "-ositive thinking will help you overcome. Just by changing your attitude you can increase your feeling of well being." Gerard's eyes snapped open, that didn't sit well with him. He sat up quickly- startling the patient beside him. Raising a finger he interrupted the speaker.
"So, you’re saying that if we think about fluffy kittens and cute puppies we will suddenly be alright with the world?" He paused and looked at the desk as if asking it the question, "What the fuck is that?" His voice rose as he looked back at the teacher whom was slightly flustered with his outburst.
"Well," She looked for his name tag but Gerard hadn't filled out one when he walked in. "The relaxing atmosphere created by positive thought will balance your world." He could tell she was getting more confident, making an over zealous rainbow with her outstretched hands.
His eyes were narrowed and mouth slightly open, "Right. Lets see if that can cure the world of starvation." He waved his hands while standing up. "Nope, I'm still fucking hungry. How about war and sickness?" He waved his hands again, his eyes widening with the gesture. He ran to the window like he expected things to change, "Those old bastards are still as senile as ever." He turned and shook his head slowly. The teacher stood still, not sure how to calm him down. He giggled in a high-pitched voice which worried the woman at the front of the room greatly.
Sobering quickly he skipped out of the dead silent classroom. No one made a move to stop him.
He skipped passed the multitude of doors. All the same shape and color. The names on display. The indoor graves. His pace slowed as he shivered, like a piece of ice had slid down his spine. Following the center corridor on the first floor while looking for the stairs he found large barred doors with a surveillance camera pointed at the entrance. There were large glass panels to each side. He peered cautiously into the room beyond. Four uniformed guards sat watching cameras that he assumed were placed around the prison half of the building. The rooms were quite the same except for the dark contrast of the bars that crossed over the windows and the heavy doors meant to keep them away from the world. The inmates and dangerous persons weren't allowed outside and he wondered briefly how far one would have to go before being forgotten in one of the barren rooms.
His heart sank with the thought of things being worse than he already knew. Footsteps coming down the hallway broke Gerard from his thoughts and he hurried down the hall until the stairs sign was visible. He slowed and climbed one stair at a time. Is that the reason he found such contentment sitting with Frank? Because Frank hasn't opened his mouth and tainted the hope of him being a better person? Above all the rest. Besides his family- Mikey, his mother, father, and grandmother, he had been let down by everyone else.
***
Glancing at the clock over the nurse’s station he noticed it was lunch time but didn't feel hungry. Continuing his unproductive meandering he realized that he had been headed towards Frank's room. Without bothering to knock he opened the door and peeked in. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, the dark clouds outside made the room darker than usual. Frank was sitting on his bed with a lunch tray and a spoon hanging out of his mouth. Strangely, it was the happiest- and cutest- he'd ever seen Frank. Gerard moved towards the bed and Frank looked up just then noticing Gerard. Without removing the spoon he grinned largely which prompted Gerard's mouth to mimic the action. Gerard crawled softly onto Frank's bed noticing the tray was empty. Picking up the light blue plastic he looked for a place to put it within his reach. Not finding a place he just dropped it onto the floor with a loud clatter and shrug of the shoulder. Frank had jumped at the sudden noise and the spoon had fallen out of his mouth. Gerard smiled and reached for the paper and pencils on the windowsill and began working on his drawing from yesterday.
Deep in concentration he didn't notice the small shaking hand that was reaching towards his face. The warmth softly landed upon his cheek and he inhaled sharply and raised his eyes to meet the large pair watching him. The hand was smooth and the thumb made small circles until it swooped down over his bottom lip. Unmoving, he allowed Frank to explore his face, the touch sent shivers through his spine. The hand retracted for moment but only to place itself within Gerard's hair, combing it with nimble fingers. He closed his eyes and let out the breath he'd been holding, relaxing into the touch. All too soon the sensation was gone and he opened his eyes to see Frank looking at the drawing he'd been so consumed with. Gerard spun it around so Frank could see it better.
"That’s Mikey, my brother." Smiling warmly remembering the day Mikey had won the science fair, his features lit up. Gerard couldn’t bring himself to even call Mikey a nerd. He had just hugged his younger sibling and told him how proud he was. It had been a turning point in their relationship- no longer the bickering, wrestling, and destructive young boys they had been- from that day they had become closer than ever and Gerard was and would be forever grateful of Mikey's presence.
"It’s really good." The voice snapped Gerard out of his memories and looked up at Frank. Frank laughed a full laugh, not loud, but genuine he supposed. The confused look on Gerard's face must have been quite amusing and he relaxed slightly.
"Why-" he paused, "Why don't you talk?" Frank regarded Gerard silently; the worried look his eyes portrayed seemed genuine.
"There’s no need to talk most times." Frank shrugged lightly, "Most aren't worth talking too." Gerard nodded his head in silent agreement.
"Am I worth talking too?" He asked timidly.
"Weeelll..." Frank smiled and Gerard scrunched up his nose and stuck his tongue out at Frank. They both laughed and Frank pulled open the drawer by his bed to get his drawing supplies.
Throughout their companionable silence Gerard couldn't stop thinking about the touch. He assumed Frank was incapable of speech or maybe had the mindset of a child but in fact it was the opposite. The eyes seemed to take a person in while listening. Watching the small twitches and sighs that come with a person's body language that most don't take the time to notice. A blush crept into Gerard's cheeks when he thought of the feelings that surfaced when his mind began to wander. He glanced up cautiously and was relieved to see Frank deep within his own thoughts while focusing on his drawing. Gerard took in the features- the thin eyebrows, his red lips, the jaw line he'd love to be able to place kisses along... He shook his head roughly trying to clear the thoughts and the blush that had returned. Frank had a confused look on his face but went to find another color when Gerard didn't offer and explanation.
Without a word he returned the utensils and paper to the window and stood up to leave the room. Pausing mid-step and he turned, his mind screaming at him 'now or never fool!' Nearly tripping over himself walking back to the bed, Frank had noticed Gerard's actions and had turned to look at him. Before he knew his plan his pale fingers had reached up and caressed the soft jaw line he had been admiring earlier. Frank made no move and Gerard leaned forward and placed a quick fervent kiss upon Frank's lips.
Taking a step backwards he ran a hand through his hair and blew out his breath nodding slowly. Clearing his throat he rasped out, "Yeah." Staring at the floor. "Yeah." Why did you say it again? Just in case he missed it the first time? He turned away and walked out the door, his head down still nodding. He didn't even look backwards for fear of Frank's expression.
Frank was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. He'd found Gerard attractive the first day he'd run into his room and as they spent more time together he had never pressed Frank to speak. That told Frank more than Gerard's words ever could. He had surprised himself earlier taking such a bold step but it seemed to have paid off. He caressed his tingling lips and smiled.