「 app 」
Character: Xerxes Break
Series: Pandora Hearts [ wikipedia ]
Character Age: Technically like over 70, though if one goes appearances he certainly doesn't look a day older than 26.
Job: Master of Ceremonies
Canon: Oz Vesalius's coming of age ceremony sucked. Not in the 'nobody came or gave me presents' way, but in the 'strange hooded figures tossed me into the Abyss and I almost got eaten by monsters' way. This trip to the Abyss wasn't without perks, however; Oz formed a contract with a terrifying girl/rabbit/thing named Alice and she aided in his escape from the Abyss. He just happened to come out ten years in his future. Luckily there was a welcoming party waiting for him ♥ .
Xerxes Break was part of this welcoming party, which could more appropriately be called Pandora, a group connected to the Abyss and its going ons. If appearances were anything to go by Break might be considered a gentlemanly sort with slightly eccentric tastes. Unfortunately for everyone else the smiling and cheerful facade is just that -- Break is all about using people. A vaguely polite comment, coupled with a ♥ and a thinly veiled insult is common in his speech. Break is most often straightforwardly not at all straightforward and litters his words with distractions to keep even the keenest of listeners on their toes. Break is often accompanied by a doll named Emily who is prone to saying rude things.
Sample app:
You will have to excuse my tardiness, masters and mistresses! While it may seem bordering on rude to hastily introduce myself, it seems that I've made myself so very late for this very important date. You may come to know me as Xerxes Break, and today I am your humble servant of ceremonies. Not that such a delay can be brushed aside with a simple justification, but surely you all will understand that special preparations had to be made.
What do we call this? A conglomeration of morons! Now, now, Emily, it isn't nice to call this celebration that. It's the wonderful culmination of many years of marriage! It's the anniversary of the Lady Elizabeth Sayre and his honored Lordship Stephan Debussey! In fact, Mr. Debussey is our guest of honor. . .
Oh, dear. This would be. . . this would be. . . a delay! It seems that our guest isn't here yet! Is this what they call being fashionably late? Of course there is a difference between fashionably late and just being unable to follow simple directions. . . Aaah, but none of you should repeat that to our guest. It's rude to point out someone else's failings ♥ .
While we wait for him perhaps we should have a round of riddles! How about this one: How many hands of cards did the rabbit win? Well? Any ideas? Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids! Oh, my, what are those faces for? Was that no good? Try this one: Why is a raven like a writing desk? Is it because both are wastes of space? Or maybe because they bend over to serve? You've never heard of a raven which does so? He does if you use him right ♥.
Hmmm~, maybe these are a little too hard for such esteemed dimwits, as you lords and ladies must be. Should we try something more attuned to your tastes? Something simpler? Here is where I, your humble master of ceremonies, will relay to you the tale of how I came to this glorious and decaying establishment of CFUD:
"Be that invitation to your home, hell or abode," I replied, upstarting --
"Get thee back into storm and take off your shoes before crossing the floor!
Leave no muddy footprints as token of your offer spoken!
Leave my teacups unbroken! -- take your tentacles back to the shore!
And take thy bloomers back to that tree that overlooks the shore!"
Quoth our guest of honor, Stephan Debussey: "Nevar more."
98.1&