Moderately Badass Chili
You will need:
2 kilos or damn near 5 pounds of cheap bottom roast. Do not begin with filet mignon, because we are not treating this meat with loving kindness; we are seasoning the hell out of it and stewing it within an inch of total dissolution.
1 big-ass can stewed or peeled tomatoes (I prefer peeled, but please yourself.)
2 cans delicious chilies and tomatoes (Ro-tel is the brand I use, with The Infamous Herb Some People Think Tastes Like Soap)
1 whole buncha onion
1 big-ass can of hominy (I like blue because it’s a pretty color, but white or golden taste exactly the same)
1 assortment of chilies (Serranos, Poblanos, Anchos, chipotles, jalapenos; go crazy.)
Seasonings:
1 metric ass-ton of garlic (10% more than an Empirical ass-ton)
2 bay leaves, because one is never quite enough
1 fistful of cumin
2 smatterings of cinnamon
3-1/4 chasti* of oregano
Some cooking fat, water, salt, and white not black pepper
Throw the tomatoes, water, bay leaves, and some salt into a big pot with a lid and begin heating them while you prepare everything else. Chop the onion and chilies into a nice hot skillet and brown them while you prepare the meat. When the onions have caramelized and softened a bit, pour them into the stew pot and place the skillet back on the heat. Add fat (I prefer butter or seasoned pork fat, but olive oil or some other modestly heat-tolerant oil will do just fine) to your well-heated skillet and toss in chopped garlic and beef cubed to approximately 2-cm bites. Season the hell out of it with cumin, cinnamon and oregano and a little touch of salt and white pepper. Don’t use black pepper in this dish because I told you not to, twice now. When the meat is browned on all sides, toss it in the stew pot, make sure the water covers the lot, stir it up well, lower the heat and cover it loosely for about two hours. Don’t forget to lower the heat, or it will boil over, the tomatoes will burn and it will all go to Hell in a handbasket faster than you can figure out why anyone would make a basket shaped like a hand. After a couple of hours simmering gently and slowly to permeate the delicious meaty goodness throughout the delicious spicy goodness and marry them up all happy-like, add the hominy and bring back up to a simmer, uncovered, for another fifteen to twenty minutes. If you like, add a beer when you add the hominy; if you prefer to add wine, use it to deglaze the skillet when you’ve browned and added the meat, then throw another half-cup or so in with the hominy. Yes, I am retroactively suggesting you add wine almost at the beginning; if you’ve read this far, you already know my time management skills are nonexistent. Try to move on.
When the hominy has thickened the sauce and it all smells just about irresistibly spicy good, taste it to make sure the seasonings are just right, and serve it up hot.
*a chast is a Russian unit equivalent to 20/3 cubic inches, but you’ll probably just want a couple of fair-sized pinches for the meat, and one for about halfway through the stewing.
2 kilos or damn near 5 pounds of cheap bottom roast. Do not begin with filet mignon, because we are not treating this meat with loving kindness; we are seasoning the hell out of it and stewing it within an inch of total dissolution.
1 big-ass can stewed or peeled tomatoes (I prefer peeled, but please yourself.)
2 cans delicious chilies and tomatoes (Ro-tel is the brand I use, with The Infamous Herb Some People Think Tastes Like Soap)
1 whole buncha onion
1 big-ass can of hominy (I like blue because it’s a pretty color, but white or golden taste exactly the same)
1 assortment of chilies (Serranos, Poblanos, Anchos, chipotles, jalapenos; go crazy.)
Seasonings:
1 metric ass-ton of garlic (10% more than an Empirical ass-ton)
2 bay leaves, because one is never quite enough
1 fistful of cumin
2 smatterings of cinnamon
3-1/4 chasti* of oregano
Some cooking fat, water, salt, and white not black pepper
Throw the tomatoes, water, bay leaves, and some salt into a big pot with a lid and begin heating them while you prepare everything else. Chop the onion and chilies into a nice hot skillet and brown them while you prepare the meat. When the onions have caramelized and softened a bit, pour them into the stew pot and place the skillet back on the heat. Add fat (I prefer butter or seasoned pork fat, but olive oil or some other modestly heat-tolerant oil will do just fine) to your well-heated skillet and toss in chopped garlic and beef cubed to approximately 2-cm bites. Season the hell out of it with cumin, cinnamon and oregano and a little touch of salt and white pepper. Don’t use black pepper in this dish because I told you not to, twice now. When the meat is browned on all sides, toss it in the stew pot, make sure the water covers the lot, stir it up well, lower the heat and cover it loosely for about two hours. Don’t forget to lower the heat, or it will boil over, the tomatoes will burn and it will all go to Hell in a handbasket faster than you can figure out why anyone would make a basket shaped like a hand. After a couple of hours simmering gently and slowly to permeate the delicious meaty goodness throughout the delicious spicy goodness and marry them up all happy-like, add the hominy and bring back up to a simmer, uncovered, for another fifteen to twenty minutes. If you like, add a beer when you add the hominy; if you prefer to add wine, use it to deglaze the skillet when you’ve browned and added the meat, then throw another half-cup or so in with the hominy. Yes, I am retroactively suggesting you add wine almost at the beginning; if you’ve read this far, you already know my time management skills are nonexistent. Try to move on.
When the hominy has thickened the sauce and it all smells just about irresistibly spicy good, taste it to make sure the seasonings are just right, and serve it up hot.
*a chast is a Russian unit equivalent to 20/3 cubic inches, but you’ll probably just want a couple of fair-sized pinches for the meat, and one for about halfway through the stewing.