20
Dance tonight. ♥
[I wish that just for one week, life could be easy. Just one week where I didn't have to pretend I was someone I'm not just to make it through the day. Maybe I do belong here after all if I'm so willing to sacrifice things that are important to me for the sake of society. Hyoutei's off in its own delusional little world, completely out of touch with reality. Some days I feel I'm the only real person in the middle of a bunch of fakes and what I want more than anything, than anyone, is to simply disappear and be forgotten.
Maybe that's why I do this to myself, perpetually change, conform, submit. I'm not any of those things yet I do it again and again. "Self-destructive tendencies", Doc says, and I do it in the most literal of ways. Huh, funny how that Tarot meme said the same thing, more or less, and so did Mom.
Didn't even know she worried about me, much less like that. Break from Ryou, still not sure how I feel about that or about Ryou in general. I know I love him but. I'm glad she's around; never thought I'd say that until this year. If more parents talked to their kids like they weren't stupid, maybe they be more willing to listen to what they had to say.
I'd better get going if I'm gonna be buying Asuka a dress. And the rest of the girls their dresses. I've missed them, even if my pocketbook hasn't.]
[OOC: Strike gone. Taki had a really helpful counseling session Friday and a long talk with Mommy Dearest who's concerned about the amount of time he's been spending with Shishido/lack of time spent with the girls, Atobe, and anyone else. And uh, he needed to get some bitching about Hyoutei off his chest. :D;]
[I wish that just for one week, life could be easy. Just one week where I didn't have to pretend I was someone I'm not just to make it through the day. Maybe I do belong here after all if I'm so willing to sacrifice things that are important to me for the sake of society. Hyoutei's off in its own delusional little world, completely out of touch with reality. Some days I feel I'm the only real person in the middle of a bunch of fakes and what I want more than anything, than anyone, is to simply disappear and be forgotten.
Maybe that's why I do this to myself, perpetually change, conform, submit. I'm not any of those things yet I do it again and again. "Self-destructive tendencies", Doc says, and I do it in the most literal of ways. Huh, funny how that Tarot meme said the same thing, more or less, and so did Mom.
Didn't even know she worried about me, much less like that. Break from Ryou, still not sure how I feel about that or about Ryou in general. I know I love him but. I'm glad she's around; never thought I'd say that until this year. If more parents talked to their kids like they weren't stupid, maybe they be more willing to listen to what they had to say.
I'd better get going if I'm gonna be buying Asuka a dress. And the rest of the girls their dresses. I've missed them, even if my pocketbook hasn't.]
[OOC: Strike gone. Taki had a really helpful counseling session Friday and a long talk with Mommy Dearest who's concerned about the amount of time he's been spending with Shishido/lack of time spent with the girls, Atobe, and anyone else. And uh, he needed to get some bitching about Hyoutei off his chest. :D;]