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[countessdeweird]

I have been putting off updating here because I have nothing positive to say. This year has unequivocally sucked. I can't think of a single thing that has gone right. Family drama, fights with my partner, no free time to see my friends, work sucks, money trouble, on and on and on and on and on

Comments

[cazzicles]

There is no way that I can let this slide without comment

[cazzicles]

(CUT FOR LENGTH! SORRY

[countessdeweird]

Thanks so much for the comment(s), and the hugs. It really helps to know that at least there's one friendly ear that won't think less of me if I don't go through the next six weeks of torture. I knew going into the dip ed that it wasn't really what I wanted to be doing, but I thought I'd give it a go anyway. It makes it a lot harder to quit and use "it's not what I want to be doing" as a justification to myself, because I already knew that when I spent the money and I invested the time and energy in the coursework. I'm as much the one putting pressure on myself to finish this as anybody else. I never knew I was quite this stubborn before now :/
I just wish I knew what would make me happy, career-wise. Something that involves lying around reading books would be ideal...

[countessdeweird]

And WOW, that mentor teacher sounds horrible. I'm finding that a lot of the teachers at this school are similar. It's my final prac, but I've only had one other, and they all treat me like I should have had at least three long pracs before. It's frustrating and ridiculous.

[toast_is_lovely]

i'm sorry to hear this. i'm having a similar year in some salient respects. the only realisation i've had is when u hear ppl say, or urself say, 'but u/i can just stick it out.' -- it's time to think seriously about your direction. i wish i'd known this years ago. take care xx

[countessdeweird]

That's good advice, thanks :)

[leshara]

I'm sad that things are going so badly for you :( Honestly, it sounds ridiculously hard and stressful and not at all like something that should be continued. It doesn't sound like it will 'go away' if you just 'stick it out' a little longer. From my experience with family members who are teachers, it's a calling and something they love despite the numerous challenges. But if you hate it, then what's the point of living through the particularly rough spots? Maybe I'm being negative or something, but I reckon screw all the people who may look down on you if you stop now. Do what YOU need to do to stay sane and happy; everyone else can shove turnips up their ass if it makes them feel better. Many hugs for you, I hope things turn out. xxxooo

[countessdeweird]

Thanks Lise :) You're right, even about the turnips. Perhaps especially about the turnips. I'm so tired of trying to live up to other people's expectations and neglecting what I want, so I shouldn't be doing that. This is something I thought I'd learned back when I was 19, but I guess the lesson needed a refresher!