Glamoured Worlds
Title: Glamoured Worlds
Author: countingcr0ws
Pairing/ Characters: Yunjae
Rating: NC17
Form: One-shot
Genre: AR, Mildlyy Emotional, Pure Ridiculousness, Sarcasm
Summary: Jaejoong finds himself skinny enough to join Soshi.
Inspired by: Chat with mb_lucified who gave the idea of Jaejoong being skinny enough to join Soshi.
Warning: Potentially contentious, skip this to avoid any drama if you're Jessica fan/ don't like it when people mention that Soshis are skinny (I'M SORRY!).
When Jaejoong realised that he was skinny enough to be a Soshi, he signed up eagerly without much consideration. He had heard enough rumours within the industry about Yunho's latest escapades with members from rookie girl groups that were his fans, and he was pretty much neck deep with annoyance and jealousy fuelled by his unfounded proprietary of the other.
After the mess that followed the bid for freedom, he had tried and subsequently failed to find an adequate replacement for the thoughtful concern that was the other man. When the sordid developments filed in with quick succession with the announcements of Dongbangshinki's return, he was to say the least, a tad unhappy.
It wasn't too hard to secure an interview with the creative directors of SM, contrary to the general perceived exclusivity of the company. After years of being in the industry, he had forged enough of the right connections to catch wind of the whispers that the company was considering to acquire a second batch of girls to bring the group through the next decade.
The basic requirements weren't too much of a challenge for him anyway. He was pretty enough to pass off as a girl, and he had a BMI of under 17.
With an edgy pixie cut, a stuffed bra, and carefully applied makeup to enhance his eyes, he flitted confidently into the room with a coy smile, pleased by the collective stun on the faces of the old fogeys behind the table.
"Good afternoon, I'm Kim JaeLi. I am twenty two this year." He introduced himself lightly in the range that he had practiced for days, devoid of any nerves. He was everything that they were looking for, and the best part was that he could sing. As in, the best part was that he could sing.
He answered the successive standard questions tactfully with a light smile.
"Timeless?" The judge in the middle asked curiously as he shifted his papers before peering up his reading glasses to look at him. Jaejoong nodded quickly. It was probably an odd choice for a girl, the song famous for the trademark husky vocals of SG Wannabe. But it was one of his favourites, and was oddly comfortable with his new range. He especially liked the optimism within the melody despite the wryly self-deprecating lyrics at the loss of a lover.
"You may begin then," the man to the right indicated with a light wave, and he nodded before taking a deep breath.
Maybe as I live, you might find me. With that expectation, I pass today with much difficulty. He belted the lyrics, coating them thickly with raw emotions that emerged easily from his heart.
I have a really bad memory but I remember everything about you; and every single memory with you. His hands felt empty, too used to having a microphone to hold. It felt strange to project his voice this loudly for people, and he wished that he had practiced without holding anything. Thinking about it, it's been ten years since his audition, and so much has changed. He was filled with optimistic excitement unlike the present's bitter sadness.
The thing that I have the most confidence in the world, is of course as always, waiting for you.
He had waited, so long, and tried so hard, walking himself into the corner. Thinking about it, he was mad, downright crazy to go such lengths for the man that had pushed him away after the clusterfuck. But he wasn't expecting much. He just wanted a minute's worth, a second long of attention. Anything would do. Just a glance, then he would get over the man.
You made me hurt, and you made me cry, but I thank you for this one thing, for giving me memories that I will have till the day I close my eyes. Dragging out the last note, he let out a deep breath before opening his eyes slowly.
The three judges were staring at him, and he shifted awkwardly with a smile.
"You should refrain from playing with your hair while singing," the man in the middle suddenly interjected, and he nodded apologetically. Ahh, priorities.
"Can you dance?" The man on the most left interjected, and a SNSD song came up before he could even nod. Jaejoong moved easily in replacement of a reply, his hands flitting over his curves provocatively before dipping low then sliding back up while pushing his bottom out. After spending years trying to catch up with Yunho and Junsu in the various choreographies, he wouldn't hesitate to say that he was above average in the dance department. It wasn't too hard to pick up a few new moves, and he had already memorized a good few of the group's dances. Judging from Yoochun's moans at his preview performance, he was probably doing quite well.
The song ended quickly, and he bit his lips to control his grin at the obvious satisfaction of the judges. Too easy.
"Thank you, JaeLi. You've been one of our better candidates today, and we'll contact you if your application has been successful." Bowing quickly with a hurried thanks, he was ushered out before almost walking into a woman.
"That was pretty good," the person complimented as he apologized profusely for his clumsiness.
"And you're really tall too," she continued, and Jaejoong felt his heart quicken at the realization that it was Hyoyeon from SNSD. Thankful for the absence of recognition and animosity in the other's eyes, he denied the compliment as he chalked it up to endless practice.
"Then you must have really practiced a lot, JaeLi. You were really good." He ducked his head shyly as the other laughed. "I really hope that you'll be chosen though. I look forward to working with you," she smiled as she stuck her hand out. Appraising it hesitantly, he took it after a few moments. The other's smile was so sincere that he couldn't help but return it.
-
He was meddling in his studio, composing a new song, when the call came, informing him of his being selected, and the upcoming practices where he would meet his four other competitors. Only two of them would be chosen, and there would be three rounds before the final decision. Thanking the person before ending the call, he shook his head in frustration before returning to his work.
- - - - -
"My favourite hobbies are stitching, baking, and filming make up tutorials." Ah, how illustrious. Jaejoong fretted internally a little as he tried to come up with a passable answer to the introduction-y question. He hated those the most.
"Erm, my favourite hobbies are reading, cooking, and erm exercising." Gosh, he almost said bodybuilding (attempted bodybuilding to be precise). That would have been his death.
"What exercises do you like, JaeLi eonni?"
Jaejoong blinked a little as he looked at the other. Even with his deceitful age, he was still the oldest within the group, and it was disconcerting to be referred to as eonni. He desperately willed his manhood to not feel emasculated.
"Erm cycling and running."
"I like yoga a lot!" Another girl piped up cheerily, and he couldn't help but think that he probably needed more girly hobbies. Like knitting or maybe nail painting. He was so uncool in the female circles right now that it was almost painful.
"Girls, lunch is over! Let's get back to practising!" He groaned softly, starting when he attracted four sources of unfiltered shock. Ahh, practice is gold!
"Ah, I just," he pointed at the three-inched-high heels that he had unceremoniously discarded when lunch had commenced.
"My leg's too big for the straps. It's cutting me," he explained hastily, heaving a thankful sigh when they accepted his confession regarding his man-sized legs without any suspicion. While the training was by no means intensive to him especially after the sessions he had as a member Dongbangshinki, the additional heels were the bane of his existence. He could barely balance on the stilettos, and his heels were already aching with the awkward weight distribution.
He had a good mind to send flowers to Jihyo noona tomorrow to express his awe. This balancing act was hard stuff, really.
"And one, and two, and one, two, three-" he teetered awkwardly, gasping loudly at the state of his pathetic life when the instructor demonstrated a quick jump that he had to imitate in heels. Fuckk. He'd split his face open before he even reached the second round.
- - - - -
After the end of a gruelling round of moral crumbling, physical torture, and ridiculous dieting as if they weren't already skinny enough, he was pleasantly surprised with the olive branch of motivation by SM as the costume making coordi noonas appeared with tapes at the final session of round one to take their measurements.
"Your shoulders are huge," the noona tutted as she removed her tape.
"Ah, I like to swim," he explained helpfully, only to receive a quick eye roll.
"Drop it. Your shoulders are too wide and ugly for a girl. You're hard to work with. I'll have to give you something with puffy sleeves." She shook her head at her clipboard before returning her attention to him. Running her tape at his chest before shifting it higher, she shook her head grimly.
"No boobs either."
What? Excuse me? The silicon paddings in his bra was sticking uncomfortably onto his nipples, and his chest was sagging with his enhancements. Therefore, he had boobs. Big, bazooka ones. Was she blind or something?
Yelping when she grabbed his hip, he immediately stilled at the impatient glare.
"Is this where your legs begin?" He nodded quickly, hoping that she would stop gropping his waist. "You've got long legs," she announced as she took another measurement, nodding to herself as she recorded it down. "Your skirt will be the shortest," she proclaimed before walking away grimly. Oh great, just what he wanted! He couldn’t help but think how great it would be if the hem stopped right at his chest with his boobless boobs.
- - - - -
They were to assemble in another room today, and it was disconcerting to walk along the same halls after so long. "Eonni, you're late!" SeoMi called out excitedly when she noticed him from the mirror. Ahh, costume, hair, and makeup? Wow, SM.
"You're all pink," Jaejoong interjected after greeting her, and she grinned brightly at him from the mirror.
"I know, right! It's gorgeous!"
Ehh, enthusiasm, Jaejoong! Enthusiasm! He scolded himself as he schooled his expression. "Oh my god, I feel so much like a Soshi now," he squealed excitedly and the other's eyes literally glittered as she began to formulate a reply.
"JaeLi, you're late!" He flinched at the sight of the snappy coordi from last week.
"No, I'm on time. They said eight. Its seven thirty," he defended before quickly backing down at the look of disdain. What. Were rookies ill-deserving of respect?
"Put that on. I don't have time for you." She pointed at the last dress at the corner, and he gulped as he tossed his belongings down before picking it up and heading to the toilet.
"Where are you going?"
"To change?" He replied impatiently, immediately shrinking at the annoyed head shake.
"Just change in a corner. You're already late as it is."
What. His heart beat literally soared as his head started to throb. Industrial strength concealer for his tattoos, check. Cute underwear, check. But then he'd be showing his wide and ugly shoulders and what if he hadn't rubbed his concealer in properly?
"What are you waiting for?" She fussed, voice rising an octave as she frowned at him.
"Ah, okay, okay." He defended while biting his lower lip, quickly walking towards the corner and unzipping the dress before sliding his arms out of his shirt holes. The last time he had engaged in Operation: Covert Changing was in middle school with all the horny, desperate girls lurking around like hyenas. He was without question, terrible after the lack of practice throughout the years.
Quickly sliding into the dress and zipping it up while praying that he hasn't flashed anybody his fake boobs, he stood up straighter before appraising and then promptly gasping at his attire. Whattttt! This was officially the death of him. Why did his have so much lace at the front and why were there ribbons at the end and most importantly, why was it so short! Covertly measuring the distance between the bottom of his panties and the hemline of his dress behind his back, he brought his hand back front, only to gawp at the centimetre between his thumb and index finger. When did shortest dress equate to whorish?
He was literally consumed by fear now. The ends were puffy with gauze, and what if they had to twirl and the skirt flew to his face and his dick popped out of his super cute but absolutely non-functional heart-printed panties? Oh my god. Soo Man would have his balls even before he could trade a single carbon dioxide molecule with Yunho once more.
Sidestepping ChoA carefully, he kept his head down and away from her cleavage. Within a week of practice, she had already tried to trip him twice and stolen his water thrice. Bitch was out to get his life.
"JaeLi, time for hair styling," a noona cooed as she led him to a seat, and he nearly threw her hand off in panic. Calming himself a little, he let himself be let before crossing his legs tightly.
"You look beautiful today," she smiled into the mirror, and his facial muscles could only twitch in reply. Spasm.
"Do you have a pair of safety shorts?" He began hoarsely before quickly changing his voice.
"Why?" The noona frowned as she curled a little of his hair.
"My dress," he whispered softly. "It's really short," he managed with a blush, conscious of the evil, lurking coordi that was also out for his dick.
"Ah, you're all pink in the face! So cute," she chuckled, and he wanted to strangle himself. Why was nobody taking him seriously anymore!
"Eoniiiiii," he whined, "I need a pair of shortsssssssss!" He dragged with a pout, mentally eye rolling at the frozen shock on the woman's face.
"Oh my gosh, JaeLi! You're damn good at aegyo! Eonni will get it for you, okay! But remember to bring your own pair next time," she squeaked as Jaejoong nodded quickly. Crisis averted. His dick was officially saved for the day.
- - -
The photo-shoot was easy, and he toned his skills down, pretending to begin awkwardly before quickly warming up exponentially much to ChoA's annoyance, leading to his satisfaction. Granted, she shouldn't feel too bad about herself. He was a veteran anyway. Not that it'd stop him from gloating or anything.
By afternoon, it was back to dance practice, only that it was in their new outfit probably to motivate them to continue with the torture plans. He hated to admit it, but they actually looked pretty good in the mirror with all that flouncing pink. Girl power, oh yeah. He wondered if Changju would allow a pink concept for their next come back. He could probably get Yoochun onto the idea but Junsu would be all insufferably professional about it all before attempting (and consequentially failing) to convince them otherwise. But he was sure that Junsu would be won over if he said that baby angels wore pink though. With that he could probably also get Junsu into a mop of pink hair. They could probably give SNSD a run for their money the next time.
"JaeLi, stop putting so much energy into your actions! You're not from Dongbangshinki!" Flushing at the chastise, he bit his tongue to stop himself from snapping back that he was from Dongbangshinki, thank you very much.
Returning to focus on the playful liveliness of his limbs, he suppressed the urge to glare at evil spawn #2 HyunMi for sniggering. Everybody's inner bitch was beginning to show at round two.
He could already sense that his quality of life was increasing exponentially, and he'd wager that he was approximately a week away from an oestrogen fuelled bitch fight.
-
"Ah, your eonnis are here to visit you!" The instructor suddenly called out, and the other girls started to chatter excitedly. Oh hey, ex-colleagues. Jaejoong tried to muster excitement but to no avail.
"Hello," six girls suddenly entered brightly, and he couldn't help but grin a little. They used to compare each other's entrance into rooms, and while theirs was charismatic and sometimes a little too heavy among other male groups due to their emphasis on performances and vocals instead of fun like Super Junior, SNSD's was always bright and cheery.
"Ah, JaeLi!" Hyoyeon recognised him immediately as she walked over for a hug. Leaning in easily, Jaejoong couldn't help but fear for his life at the collective looks of envy. He'd require a chaperone to accompany him home tonight.
"Looks like we're all well acquainted with one another!" The instructor pronounced brightly with an approving smile as all the other girls apart from SeoMi boiled over with rage at the comment.
"Let's pair up, and Taeyeon, you can be with me." The instructor called out as Jaejoong caught Hyoyeon's eyes in a wordless agreement.
"And Hyoyeon? Please teach JaeLi how to tone her inner Dongbangshinki down, really." He groused as Jaejoong flushed pink while the room tittered.
-
"Like I've said, you're really good at dancing," Hyoyeon complimented politely during the short break.
"Did you go to a dance school?" She asked curiously as he crossed his legs unhappily, not wanting to sit down and flash his mini shorts to the world when he stood up.
"Kind of? I guess that I was really pushed to practice hard," he admitted half truthfully with a half-smile.
"Ahh, practice again. You'll do well as an idol, JaeLi."
Jaejoong was about to reply when he was roughly pushed aside. Oh my god, it was happening. His first cat fight. For some sick, perverse reason, he was incredibly excited as he regained his balance on his heels.
"Hyo, how did you know her!"
"Oh my gosh, Sica! She almost twisted her ankle!" Hyoyeon quickly fussed over him as she gave her friend a glare.
"Are you okay?" She asked in concern as Jaejoong sheathed his claws disappointedly in self-control. Jessica was technically his sunbae now and he unfortunately couldn't take his mounting annoyance out on her.
"I'm sorry for blocking your way," he apologized to the other as he went off to hang out with his fellow rookies.
"Ahh, how did you know Hyoyeon?" SeoMi immediately asked when he approached, and he gave a quick explanation.
"She sounds as beautiful as she is, and so was Tiffany, I swear. How was Seohyun like, ChoA?" She asked excitedly, and Jaejoong couldn't help but smile. SeoMi was such a fangirl that it was impossibly adorable. He just hoped that there was no inner bitch concealed within her.
Practice continued with the seniors and the next song was beginning when somebody suddenly slapped his head. He exclaimed in pain as he turned around to face a sniggering Jessica. "You're so tall, you're blocking my view," she laughed as he quickly apologized while Hyoyeon gave her friend a warning glare.
Throughout the session, he fell thrice when Jessica kicked the back of his knees, was slapped on the head thrice more, and had his hair pulled four times. He was thankful that he hadn't thought of wearing a wig to assume his role as a female. Jessica would have totally set fire to his bony ass with that bad plan. He'd so rather have Changmin whopping his ass with his new and improved Hulk muscles than some crazy, violent female taking out her jealousy on him, damn it.
"Fuck, it's actually bruised," he cursed his luck as he rubbed at his mildly swollen knees. "And I've probably lost like a million brain cells from all that head slapping, fuck," he swore as he fell back against the chair seat, leaning his head against the wall as he closed his eyes to gather himself for a moment. He was once again in an SM engineered madhouse, with an evil coordi, competitive fellow rookies, and a senior convinced that he'd steal her girl crush. Dude. He was here for a specific dick, and the last time he checked (not really), Jessica didn't even qualify for the run.
Sighing to himself, he focused on his breathing as he pushed away the petty problems that were vying for attention. He'd better get changed and return before evil coordi noticed that he wasn't ninja-stripping in a corner.
"You look really stressed," a voice suddenly came from above him, and he nearly popped out of his chair at the shock.
"Ah, Yunho sunbae," he hurriedly got up to bow frantically. Fuck, fuckkk. What was he thinking! Dongbangshinki had a quiet, oversized room to call their own at the corner of level five, and his legs had brought him there to seek refuge from all the annoying people that were now part of his life. He should have known that the possibilities of running into Yunho was high.
But isn't that what you wanted? A part of him screamed ridiculously at him, and he looked away quickly as he pressed his change of clothes closer to himself before stealing another peek that he couldn't resist. Yunho was gorgeous. Perfect. Sexy. The loose, confident smile, the familiar mole above the curve of his upper lip, the square of his shoulders. He wanted to pull Yunho in, to wrap his arms around the other's neck and press in for a kiss. He wanted to smooth the other's fringe back, to comb through his ends and run down his muscular back, then back up under his shirt. He wanted to nip at the sharp curve of the other's jaw, to nibble at the warmth at the back of his leader's ear. He wanted to be pressed down, to be held and traced reverently.
But alas, he was JaeLi, and Yunho was not into him. Looking at the other before him, he finally realized how silly he had been. He had willingly went through all the criticism and humiliation just to see a person that didn't even want to associate with him any longer. How pathetic and desperate was he? Why couldn't he just see and accept that his chapter had long ended?
"I saw Jessica bullying you just now. Are you okay?" He nodded imperceptibly, too weak to refuse Yunho as the other guided him back to sit.
"It really does look bruised," he murmured as he knelt before him, and Jaejoong didn't want to believe that it was genuine concern on the other's face. Yunho lifted his knee higher as he stroked at it lightly, and Jaejoong blushed as he quickly pressed his dress down to cover himself properly. Yunho chuckled as he set his leg down lightly.
"Your legs are really pale," he commented.
"They don't tan properly," he replied with a shrug, and Yunho nodded as he petted his head fondly. "I hope that you didn't really lose that many brain cells."
Jaejoong shook his head quickly as he deflected the concern. The rumours were right. Yunho had changed. He didn't remember the other being so forward with anybody, much less a girl.
"You dance really well, JaeLi," he continued from his kneel, and Jaejoong shook his head as he pushed the other away lightly for space to stand.
"Not as good as you, oppa. Never as good as you." He dismissed the other easily as he headed for the toilet without as much as a backward glance. As soon as he entered the toilet, Yunho pressed him up against the wall, pinning him down as he trashed against him. Fuck, was Yunho such a sex-crazed beast now?
"Shit, look at what you've made me do," Yunho swore as he pressed his lips against the girl's, nibbling and sucking, moving in practiced waves. Jaejoong wanted to break free, but he couldn't. He was kissing Yunho after two years of separation, and it was having the same effect on him as it used to. The dam that he had built gave way at the torrent of rising sensations, and he responded eagerly with unchecked hunger. Never mind that Yunho thought that he had a vagina for a good fuck. It was Yunho, period. He'd just leave before the disappointment set in at second base.
There was a distant sound of a zip being undone, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Yunho was spellbinding, and he was charmed. The other's hands were all over him, and the other's eager hardness was rutting against him but he stood still, afraid that too much excitement would make his dick pop out from his girl panties and expose him without the safety pants that he had returned to the nice coordi.
"Fuck, Jae, you're gorgeous," Yunho groaned as he sucked at the skin at his collarbone while slipping his bra off. Wait. What?
"What are you doing, Jung Yunho!" He yelled as he pressed his bra against his chest while tugging the dress back up to cover himself. Yunho struggled to focus, staring at his chest, back at him, then back at his chest.
"Jae, hyung. Don't do this," he pleaded, looking incredibly broken.
"What. So I'm now back to being your hyung? What happened to just Jaejoongie?" Fuckk, realising his faux pas, he turned scarlet as he shook his head, pushing the other away as he stalked to the cubicle.
"Ugh, who are you calling hyung, you idiot. Wait till I complain to Hyoyeon..." he groused inconsequentially, his nine seconds of heaven shattered with the quick escalation of their make out session.
"Oh my god, get out. Are you going to rape me? And this is a girl's toilet for fuck's sake. Don't think that just because your room is opposite and that you come here often means that it's yours even when a girl is using it." He scolded as he pushed the persistent oaf out as he tried to press the door shut.
"Jaejoongie, don't. Please," Yunho suddenly begged, and he felt his hands drop to his sides. What?
"Stop trying to pretend that it's not you, please," he continued, and Jaejoong couldn't even rebut.
"I just, I'm sorry that I made you have to do all this. I'm not going to be a self-absorbed, narcissistic prick and say that you did it all for me, but I know that I'm one of the reasons. I'm sorry that I drove you to this. Before today, I really didn't want to see you ever again. Just let me continue," he pleaded when Jaejoong raised a hand to interrupt.
"I didn't want to see you again because I wanted to stay mad at you. I knew that when I saw you, I would push my anger all away because all of me wants you so badly. I didn't want to let go of my anger. I wanted to blame you for leaving me, for leaving us, for taking them. I didn't want to understand how you could choose something so intangible over us. But then I saw you today, working so hard, smiling at Jessica even after she abused you. And it took all of me to not run in and hit her on your behalf. I realised then that I wasn't even angry anymore. I was just afraid; afraid of us being apart when I love you so much. I didn't dare to love you, so I tried to pretend that you didn't matter, that I didn't care about you. But seeing you now, I've found the reason for the pain in my chest. I've been missing a part of me for so long, blind and lost without you. When I saw you outside the room alone and tired, I just wanted to touch you, to make it all okay. I can't control myself anymore, Jae. I'm tired of holding back, and I can't control myself around you. Any you." Yunho finished timidly with a quiet smile that made him falter.
"I'm sorry," the singer in the dress managed as he pulled the other close. "I'm sorry," Jaejoong whispered as he pressed Yunho against the wall. Their lips met again once more, and it was gentle this time, unhurried and loving. The pink monstrosity fell to the floor in no time, before being quickly joined by the bra and ridiculous amount of paddings.
-
After they came messily in the cubicle reminiscent of their quickies in the same toilet two years ago, both men broke apart as they surveyed each other's naked body critically.
"You've got a tummy now, Yun," Jaejoong giggled as he poked the other's soft belly.
"Says the person with absolutely no fats." Yunho retorted easily even as his expression betrayed his concern.
"Anyway, your dick has gotten more satisfying," Jaejoong commented as he flicked the other's mildly erect penis lightly.
"And you've gotten even more gorgeous, boo," Yunho returned as he leaned in for a kiss.
Pulling away after a few seconds, Jaejoong stared at the other with a frown.
"So, Yunho. What have I been hearing about the girls that you've been bedding?"
- - - - -
A/N: I really liked how I sounded at the start, but I lost the voice immediately after the audition where it whittled down to sarcasm. /sigh That was the days long transition/ pause I took to find a good song for the audition, of which I'd like to apologize if you hate it when authors drop lyrics at you. I'm sorry (but do go cry over the mv at least once if you haven't already).
And this goes out to mb_lucified for her idea even though it's probably not quite in line with the plot I spammed back at her. It was initially planned to be really bad and really cracky, but it somehow ended up sounding really sober and midlyy sad. If you're a very rationale person, let me apologize to you too. Nothing really makes sense here.
Erm and I guess that there was a warning at the top about Jessica stans and Soshi stans about skinniness so yeahh, I'm sorry if you still read it and if I've offended your sensibilities in any way and form.
I'm apologizing so much, gosh, and the kids are saying a lot of 'ah,' 'ahh,' and 'erm' because I've been employing a lot of that lately and it showss! It really does show~ and I guess that I've been thinking a lot about Yunho's tummy lately too... It's still exam period (I don't know what I'm doing because this was close to 5k. Blame mb_lucified...) and oh, the ending was soo bad. I didn't know how to end it, and I'm sorry about that. D:
Also, shoot me any mistakes and leave a comment! I'd be all super mega starry on you if you do~
Prev Chap | Next Chap
Author: countingcr0ws
Pairing/ Characters: Yunjae
Rating: NC17
Form: One-shot
Genre: AR, Mildlyy Emotional, Pure Ridiculousness, Sarcasm
Summary: Jaejoong finds himself skinny enough to join Soshi.
Inspired by: Chat with mb_lucified who gave the idea of Jaejoong being skinny enough to join Soshi.
Warning: Potentially contentious, skip this to avoid any drama if you're Jessica fan/ don't like it when people mention that Soshis are skinny (I'M SORRY!).
When Jaejoong realised that he was skinny enough to be a Soshi, he signed up eagerly without much consideration. He had heard enough rumours within the industry about Yunho's latest escapades with members from rookie girl groups that were his fans, and he was pretty much neck deep with annoyance and jealousy fuelled by his unfounded proprietary of the other.
After the mess that followed the bid for freedom, he had tried and subsequently failed to find an adequate replacement for the thoughtful concern that was the other man. When the sordid developments filed in with quick succession with the announcements of Dongbangshinki's return, he was to say the least, a tad unhappy.
It wasn't too hard to secure an interview with the creative directors of SM, contrary to the general perceived exclusivity of the company. After years of being in the industry, he had forged enough of the right connections to catch wind of the whispers that the company was considering to acquire a second batch of girls to bring the group through the next decade.
The basic requirements weren't too much of a challenge for him anyway. He was pretty enough to pass off as a girl, and he had a BMI of under 17.
With an edgy pixie cut, a stuffed bra, and carefully applied makeup to enhance his eyes, he flitted confidently into the room with a coy smile, pleased by the collective stun on the faces of the old fogeys behind the table.
"Good afternoon, I'm Kim JaeLi. I am twenty two this year." He introduced himself lightly in the range that he had practiced for days, devoid of any nerves. He was everything that they were looking for, and the best part was that he could sing. As in, the best part was that he could sing.
He answered the successive standard questions tactfully with a light smile.
"Timeless?" The judge in the middle asked curiously as he shifted his papers before peering up his reading glasses to look at him. Jaejoong nodded quickly. It was probably an odd choice for a girl, the song famous for the trademark husky vocals of SG Wannabe. But it was one of his favourites, and was oddly comfortable with his new range. He especially liked the optimism within the melody despite the wryly self-deprecating lyrics at the loss of a lover.
"You may begin then," the man to the right indicated with a light wave, and he nodded before taking a deep breath.
Maybe as I live, you might find me. With that expectation, I pass today with much difficulty. He belted the lyrics, coating them thickly with raw emotions that emerged easily from his heart.
I have a really bad memory but I remember everything about you; and every single memory with you. His hands felt empty, too used to having a microphone to hold. It felt strange to project his voice this loudly for people, and he wished that he had practiced without holding anything. Thinking about it, it's been ten years since his audition, and so much has changed. He was filled with optimistic excitement unlike the present's bitter sadness.
The thing that I have the most confidence in the world, is of course as always, waiting for you.
He had waited, so long, and tried so hard, walking himself into the corner. Thinking about it, he was mad, downright crazy to go such lengths for the man that had pushed him away after the clusterfuck. But he wasn't expecting much. He just wanted a minute's worth, a second long of attention. Anything would do. Just a glance, then he would get over the man.
You made me hurt, and you made me cry, but I thank you for this one thing, for giving me memories that I will have till the day I close my eyes. Dragging out the last note, he let out a deep breath before opening his eyes slowly.
The three judges were staring at him, and he shifted awkwardly with a smile.
"You should refrain from playing with your hair while singing," the man in the middle suddenly interjected, and he nodded apologetically. Ahh, priorities.
"Can you dance?" The man on the most left interjected, and a SNSD song came up before he could even nod. Jaejoong moved easily in replacement of a reply, his hands flitting over his curves provocatively before dipping low then sliding back up while pushing his bottom out. After spending years trying to catch up with Yunho and Junsu in the various choreographies, he wouldn't hesitate to say that he was above average in the dance department. It wasn't too hard to pick up a few new moves, and he had already memorized a good few of the group's dances. Judging from Yoochun's moans at his preview performance, he was probably doing quite well.
The song ended quickly, and he bit his lips to control his grin at the obvious satisfaction of the judges. Too easy.
"Thank you, JaeLi. You've been one of our better candidates today, and we'll contact you if your application has been successful." Bowing quickly with a hurried thanks, he was ushered out before almost walking into a woman.
"That was pretty good," the person complimented as he apologized profusely for his clumsiness.
"And you're really tall too," she continued, and Jaejoong felt his heart quicken at the realization that it was Hyoyeon from SNSD. Thankful for the absence of recognition and animosity in the other's eyes, he denied the compliment as he chalked it up to endless practice.
"Then you must have really practiced a lot, JaeLi. You were really good." He ducked his head shyly as the other laughed. "I really hope that you'll be chosen though. I look forward to working with you," she smiled as she stuck her hand out. Appraising it hesitantly, he took it after a few moments. The other's smile was so sincere that he couldn't help but return it.
-
He was meddling in his studio, composing a new song, when the call came, informing him of his being selected, and the upcoming practices where he would meet his four other competitors. Only two of them would be chosen, and there would be three rounds before the final decision. Thanking the person before ending the call, he shook his head in frustration before returning to his work.
- - - - -
"My favourite hobbies are stitching, baking, and filming make up tutorials." Ah, how illustrious. Jaejoong fretted internally a little as he tried to come up with a passable answer to the introduction-y question. He hated those the most.
"Erm, my favourite hobbies are reading, cooking, and erm exercising." Gosh, he almost said bodybuilding (attempted bodybuilding to be precise). That would have been his death.
"What exercises do you like, JaeLi eonni?"
Jaejoong blinked a little as he looked at the other. Even with his deceitful age, he was still the oldest within the group, and it was disconcerting to be referred to as eonni. He desperately willed his manhood to not feel emasculated.
"Erm cycling and running."
"I like yoga a lot!" Another girl piped up cheerily, and he couldn't help but think that he probably needed more girly hobbies. Like knitting or maybe nail painting. He was so uncool in the female circles right now that it was almost painful.
"Girls, lunch is over! Let's get back to practising!" He groaned softly, starting when he attracted four sources of unfiltered shock. Ahh, practice is gold!
"Ah, I just," he pointed at the three-inched-high heels that he had unceremoniously discarded when lunch had commenced.
"My leg's too big for the straps. It's cutting me," he explained hastily, heaving a thankful sigh when they accepted his confession regarding his man-sized legs without any suspicion. While the training was by no means intensive to him especially after the sessions he had as a member Dongbangshinki, the additional heels were the bane of his existence. He could barely balance on the stilettos, and his heels were already aching with the awkward weight distribution.
He had a good mind to send flowers to Jihyo noona tomorrow to express his awe. This balancing act was hard stuff, really.
"And one, and two, and one, two, three-" he teetered awkwardly, gasping loudly at the state of his pathetic life when the instructor demonstrated a quick jump that he had to imitate in heels. Fuckk. He'd split his face open before he even reached the second round.
- - - - -
After the end of a gruelling round of moral crumbling, physical torture, and ridiculous dieting as if they weren't already skinny enough, he was pleasantly surprised with the olive branch of motivation by SM as the costume making coordi noonas appeared with tapes at the final session of round one to take their measurements.
"Your shoulders are huge," the noona tutted as she removed her tape.
"Ah, I like to swim," he explained helpfully, only to receive a quick eye roll.
"Drop it. Your shoulders are too wide and ugly for a girl. You're hard to work with. I'll have to give you something with puffy sleeves." She shook her head at her clipboard before returning her attention to him. Running her tape at his chest before shifting it higher, she shook her head grimly.
"No boobs either."
What? Excuse me? The silicon paddings in his bra was sticking uncomfortably onto his nipples, and his chest was sagging with his enhancements. Therefore, he had boobs. Big, bazooka ones. Was she blind or something?
Yelping when she grabbed his hip, he immediately stilled at the impatient glare.
"Is this where your legs begin?" He nodded quickly, hoping that she would stop gropping his waist. "You've got long legs," she announced as she took another measurement, nodding to herself as she recorded it down. "Your skirt will be the shortest," she proclaimed before walking away grimly. Oh great, just what he wanted! He couldn’t help but think how great it would be if the hem stopped right at his chest with his boobless boobs.
- - - - -
They were to assemble in another room today, and it was disconcerting to walk along the same halls after so long. "Eonni, you're late!" SeoMi called out excitedly when she noticed him from the mirror. Ahh, costume, hair, and makeup? Wow, SM.
"You're all pink," Jaejoong interjected after greeting her, and she grinned brightly at him from the mirror.
"I know, right! It's gorgeous!"
Ehh, enthusiasm, Jaejoong! Enthusiasm! He scolded himself as he schooled his expression. "Oh my god, I feel so much like a Soshi now," he squealed excitedly and the other's eyes literally glittered as she began to formulate a reply.
"JaeLi, you're late!" He flinched at the sight of the snappy coordi from last week.
"No, I'm on time. They said eight. Its seven thirty," he defended before quickly backing down at the look of disdain. What. Were rookies ill-deserving of respect?
"Put that on. I don't have time for you." She pointed at the last dress at the corner, and he gulped as he tossed his belongings down before picking it up and heading to the toilet.
"Where are you going?"
"To change?" He replied impatiently, immediately shrinking at the annoyed head shake.
"Just change in a corner. You're already late as it is."
What. His heart beat literally soared as his head started to throb. Industrial strength concealer for his tattoos, check. Cute underwear, check. But then he'd be showing his wide and ugly shoulders and what if he hadn't rubbed his concealer in properly?
"What are you waiting for?" She fussed, voice rising an octave as she frowned at him.
"Ah, okay, okay." He defended while biting his lower lip, quickly walking towards the corner and unzipping the dress before sliding his arms out of his shirt holes. The last time he had engaged in Operation: Covert Changing was in middle school with all the horny, desperate girls lurking around like hyenas. He was without question, terrible after the lack of practice throughout the years.
Quickly sliding into the dress and zipping it up while praying that he hasn't flashed anybody his fake boobs, he stood up straighter before appraising and then promptly gasping at his attire. Whattttt! This was officially the death of him. Why did his have so much lace at the front and why were there ribbons at the end and most importantly, why was it so short! Covertly measuring the distance between the bottom of his panties and the hemline of his dress behind his back, he brought his hand back front, only to gawp at the centimetre between his thumb and index finger. When did shortest dress equate to whorish?
He was literally consumed by fear now. The ends were puffy with gauze, and what if they had to twirl and the skirt flew to his face and his dick popped out of his super cute but absolutely non-functional heart-printed panties? Oh my god. Soo Man would have his balls even before he could trade a single carbon dioxide molecule with Yunho once more.
Sidestepping ChoA carefully, he kept his head down and away from her cleavage. Within a week of practice, she had already tried to trip him twice and stolen his water thrice. Bitch was out to get his life.
"JaeLi, time for hair styling," a noona cooed as she led him to a seat, and he nearly threw her hand off in panic. Calming himself a little, he let himself be let before crossing his legs tightly.
"You look beautiful today," she smiled into the mirror, and his facial muscles could only twitch in reply. Spasm.
"Do you have a pair of safety shorts?" He began hoarsely before quickly changing his voice.
"Why?" The noona frowned as she curled a little of his hair.
"My dress," he whispered softly. "It's really short," he managed with a blush, conscious of the evil, lurking coordi that was also out for his dick.
"Ah, you're all pink in the face! So cute," she chuckled, and he wanted to strangle himself. Why was nobody taking him seriously anymore!
"Eoniiiiii," he whined, "I need a pair of shortsssssssss!" He dragged with a pout, mentally eye rolling at the frozen shock on the woman's face.
"Oh my gosh, JaeLi! You're damn good at aegyo! Eonni will get it for you, okay! But remember to bring your own pair next time," she squeaked as Jaejoong nodded quickly. Crisis averted. His dick was officially saved for the day.
- - -
The photo-shoot was easy, and he toned his skills down, pretending to begin awkwardly before quickly warming up exponentially much to ChoA's annoyance, leading to his satisfaction. Granted, she shouldn't feel too bad about herself. He was a veteran anyway. Not that it'd stop him from gloating or anything.
By afternoon, it was back to dance practice, only that it was in their new outfit probably to motivate them to continue with the torture plans. He hated to admit it, but they actually looked pretty good in the mirror with all that flouncing pink. Girl power, oh yeah. He wondered if Changju would allow a pink concept for their next come back. He could probably get Yoochun onto the idea but Junsu would be all insufferably professional about it all before attempting (and consequentially failing) to convince them otherwise. But he was sure that Junsu would be won over if he said that baby angels wore pink though. With that he could probably also get Junsu into a mop of pink hair. They could probably give SNSD a run for their money the next time.
"JaeLi, stop putting so much energy into your actions! You're not from Dongbangshinki!" Flushing at the chastise, he bit his tongue to stop himself from snapping back that he was from Dongbangshinki, thank you very much.
Returning to focus on the playful liveliness of his limbs, he suppressed the urge to glare at evil spawn #2 HyunMi for sniggering. Everybody's inner bitch was beginning to show at round two.
He could already sense that his quality of life was increasing exponentially, and he'd wager that he was approximately a week away from an oestrogen fuelled bitch fight.
-
"Ah, your eonnis are here to visit you!" The instructor suddenly called out, and the other girls started to chatter excitedly. Oh hey, ex-colleagues. Jaejoong tried to muster excitement but to no avail.
"Hello," six girls suddenly entered brightly, and he couldn't help but grin a little. They used to compare each other's entrance into rooms, and while theirs was charismatic and sometimes a little too heavy among other male groups due to their emphasis on performances and vocals instead of fun like Super Junior, SNSD's was always bright and cheery.
"Ah, JaeLi!" Hyoyeon recognised him immediately as she walked over for a hug. Leaning in easily, Jaejoong couldn't help but fear for his life at the collective looks of envy. He'd require a chaperone to accompany him home tonight.
"Looks like we're all well acquainted with one another!" The instructor pronounced brightly with an approving smile as all the other girls apart from SeoMi boiled over with rage at the comment.
"Let's pair up, and Taeyeon, you can be with me." The instructor called out as Jaejoong caught Hyoyeon's eyes in a wordless agreement.
"And Hyoyeon? Please teach JaeLi how to tone her inner Dongbangshinki down, really." He groused as Jaejoong flushed pink while the room tittered.
-
"Like I've said, you're really good at dancing," Hyoyeon complimented politely during the short break.
"Did you go to a dance school?" She asked curiously as he crossed his legs unhappily, not wanting to sit down and flash his mini shorts to the world when he stood up.
"Kind of? I guess that I was really pushed to practice hard," he admitted half truthfully with a half-smile.
"Ahh, practice again. You'll do well as an idol, JaeLi."
Jaejoong was about to reply when he was roughly pushed aside. Oh my god, it was happening. His first cat fight. For some sick, perverse reason, he was incredibly excited as he regained his balance on his heels.
"Hyo, how did you know her!"
"Oh my gosh, Sica! She almost twisted her ankle!" Hyoyeon quickly fussed over him as she gave her friend a glare.
"Are you okay?" She asked in concern as Jaejoong sheathed his claws disappointedly in self-control. Jessica was technically his sunbae now and he unfortunately couldn't take his mounting annoyance out on her.
"I'm sorry for blocking your way," he apologized to the other as he went off to hang out with his fellow rookies.
"Ahh, how did you know Hyoyeon?" SeoMi immediately asked when he approached, and he gave a quick explanation.
"She sounds as beautiful as she is, and so was Tiffany, I swear. How was Seohyun like, ChoA?" She asked excitedly, and Jaejoong couldn't help but smile. SeoMi was such a fangirl that it was impossibly adorable. He just hoped that there was no inner bitch concealed within her.
Practice continued with the seniors and the next song was beginning when somebody suddenly slapped his head. He exclaimed in pain as he turned around to face a sniggering Jessica. "You're so tall, you're blocking my view," she laughed as he quickly apologized while Hyoyeon gave her friend a warning glare.
Throughout the session, he fell thrice when Jessica kicked the back of his knees, was slapped on the head thrice more, and had his hair pulled four times. He was thankful that he hadn't thought of wearing a wig to assume his role as a female. Jessica would have totally set fire to his bony ass with that bad plan. He'd so rather have Changmin whopping his ass with his new and improved Hulk muscles than some crazy, violent female taking out her jealousy on him, damn it.
"Fuck, it's actually bruised," he cursed his luck as he rubbed at his mildly swollen knees. "And I've probably lost like a million brain cells from all that head slapping, fuck," he swore as he fell back against the chair seat, leaning his head against the wall as he closed his eyes to gather himself for a moment. He was once again in an SM engineered madhouse, with an evil coordi, competitive fellow rookies, and a senior convinced that he'd steal her girl crush. Dude. He was here for a specific dick, and the last time he checked (not really), Jessica didn't even qualify for the run.
Sighing to himself, he focused on his breathing as he pushed away the petty problems that were vying for attention. He'd better get changed and return before evil coordi noticed that he wasn't ninja-stripping in a corner.
"You look really stressed," a voice suddenly came from above him, and he nearly popped out of his chair at the shock.
"Ah, Yunho sunbae," he hurriedly got up to bow frantically. Fuck, fuckkk. What was he thinking! Dongbangshinki had a quiet, oversized room to call their own at the corner of level five, and his legs had brought him there to seek refuge from all the annoying people that were now part of his life. He should have known that the possibilities of running into Yunho was high.
But isn't that what you wanted? A part of him screamed ridiculously at him, and he looked away quickly as he pressed his change of clothes closer to himself before stealing another peek that he couldn't resist. Yunho was gorgeous. Perfect. Sexy. The loose, confident smile, the familiar mole above the curve of his upper lip, the square of his shoulders. He wanted to pull Yunho in, to wrap his arms around the other's neck and press in for a kiss. He wanted to smooth the other's fringe back, to comb through his ends and run down his muscular back, then back up under his shirt. He wanted to nip at the sharp curve of the other's jaw, to nibble at the warmth at the back of his leader's ear. He wanted to be pressed down, to be held and traced reverently.
But alas, he was JaeLi, and Yunho was not into him. Looking at the other before him, he finally realized how silly he had been. He had willingly went through all the criticism and humiliation just to see a person that didn't even want to associate with him any longer. How pathetic and desperate was he? Why couldn't he just see and accept that his chapter had long ended?
"I saw Jessica bullying you just now. Are you okay?" He nodded imperceptibly, too weak to refuse Yunho as the other guided him back to sit.
"It really does look bruised," he murmured as he knelt before him, and Jaejoong didn't want to believe that it was genuine concern on the other's face. Yunho lifted his knee higher as he stroked at it lightly, and Jaejoong blushed as he quickly pressed his dress down to cover himself properly. Yunho chuckled as he set his leg down lightly.
"Your legs are really pale," he commented.
"They don't tan properly," he replied with a shrug, and Yunho nodded as he petted his head fondly. "I hope that you didn't really lose that many brain cells."
Jaejoong shook his head quickly as he deflected the concern. The rumours were right. Yunho had changed. He didn't remember the other being so forward with anybody, much less a girl.
"You dance really well, JaeLi," he continued from his kneel, and Jaejoong shook his head as he pushed the other away lightly for space to stand.
"Not as good as you, oppa. Never as good as you." He dismissed the other easily as he headed for the toilet without as much as a backward glance. As soon as he entered the toilet, Yunho pressed him up against the wall, pinning him down as he trashed against him. Fuck, was Yunho such a sex-crazed beast now?
"Shit, look at what you've made me do," Yunho swore as he pressed his lips against the girl's, nibbling and sucking, moving in practiced waves. Jaejoong wanted to break free, but he couldn't. He was kissing Yunho after two years of separation, and it was having the same effect on him as it used to. The dam that he had built gave way at the torrent of rising sensations, and he responded eagerly with unchecked hunger. Never mind that Yunho thought that he had a vagina for a good fuck. It was Yunho, period. He'd just leave before the disappointment set in at second base.
There was a distant sound of a zip being undone, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Yunho was spellbinding, and he was charmed. The other's hands were all over him, and the other's eager hardness was rutting against him but he stood still, afraid that too much excitement would make his dick pop out from his girl panties and expose him without the safety pants that he had returned to the nice coordi.
"Fuck, Jae, you're gorgeous," Yunho groaned as he sucked at the skin at his collarbone while slipping his bra off. Wait. What?
"What are you doing, Jung Yunho!" He yelled as he pressed his bra against his chest while tugging the dress back up to cover himself. Yunho struggled to focus, staring at his chest, back at him, then back at his chest.
"Jae, hyung. Don't do this," he pleaded, looking incredibly broken.
"What. So I'm now back to being your hyung? What happened to just Jaejoongie?" Fuckk, realising his faux pas, he turned scarlet as he shook his head, pushing the other away as he stalked to the cubicle.
"Ugh, who are you calling hyung, you idiot. Wait till I complain to Hyoyeon..." he groused inconsequentially, his nine seconds of heaven shattered with the quick escalation of their make out session.
"Oh my god, get out. Are you going to rape me? And this is a girl's toilet for fuck's sake. Don't think that just because your room is opposite and that you come here often means that it's yours even when a girl is using it." He scolded as he pushed the persistent oaf out as he tried to press the door shut.
"Jaejoongie, don't. Please," Yunho suddenly begged, and he felt his hands drop to his sides. What?
"Stop trying to pretend that it's not you, please," he continued, and Jaejoong couldn't even rebut.
"I just, I'm sorry that I made you have to do all this. I'm not going to be a self-absorbed, narcissistic prick and say that you did it all for me, but I know that I'm one of the reasons. I'm sorry that I drove you to this. Before today, I really didn't want to see you ever again. Just let me continue," he pleaded when Jaejoong raised a hand to interrupt.
"I didn't want to see you again because I wanted to stay mad at you. I knew that when I saw you, I would push my anger all away because all of me wants you so badly. I didn't want to let go of my anger. I wanted to blame you for leaving me, for leaving us, for taking them. I didn't want to understand how you could choose something so intangible over us. But then I saw you today, working so hard, smiling at Jessica even after she abused you. And it took all of me to not run in and hit her on your behalf. I realised then that I wasn't even angry anymore. I was just afraid; afraid of us being apart when I love you so much. I didn't dare to love you, so I tried to pretend that you didn't matter, that I didn't care about you. But seeing you now, I've found the reason for the pain in my chest. I've been missing a part of me for so long, blind and lost without you. When I saw you outside the room alone and tired, I just wanted to touch you, to make it all okay. I can't control myself anymore, Jae. I'm tired of holding back, and I can't control myself around you. Any you." Yunho finished timidly with a quiet smile that made him falter.
"I'm sorry," the singer in the dress managed as he pulled the other close. "I'm sorry," Jaejoong whispered as he pressed Yunho against the wall. Their lips met again once more, and it was gentle this time, unhurried and loving. The pink monstrosity fell to the floor in no time, before being quickly joined by the bra and ridiculous amount of paddings.
-
After they came messily in the cubicle reminiscent of their quickies in the same toilet two years ago, both men broke apart as they surveyed each other's naked body critically.
"You've got a tummy now, Yun," Jaejoong giggled as he poked the other's soft belly.
"Says the person with absolutely no fats." Yunho retorted easily even as his expression betrayed his concern.
"Anyway, your dick has gotten more satisfying," Jaejoong commented as he flicked the other's mildly erect penis lightly.
"And you've gotten even more gorgeous, boo," Yunho returned as he leaned in for a kiss.
Pulling away after a few seconds, Jaejoong stared at the other with a frown.
"So, Yunho. What have I been hearing about the girls that you've been bedding?"
- - - - -
A/N: I really liked how I sounded at the start, but I lost the voice immediately after the audition where it whittled down to sarcasm. /sigh That was the days long transition/ pause I took to find a good song for the audition, of which I'd like to apologize if you hate it when authors drop lyrics at you. I'm sorry (but do go cry over the mv at least once if you haven't already).
And this goes out to mb_lucified for her idea even though it's probably not quite in line with the plot I spammed back at her. It was initially planned to be really bad and really cracky, but it somehow ended up sounding really sober and midlyy sad. If you're a very rationale person, let me apologize to you too. Nothing really makes sense here.
Erm and I guess that there was a warning at the top about Jessica stans and Soshi stans about skinniness so yeahh, I'm sorry if you still read it and if I've offended your sensibilities in any way and form.
I'm apologizing so much, gosh, and the kids are saying a lot of 'ah,' 'ahh,' and 'erm' because I've been employing a lot of that lately and it showss! It really does show~ and I guess that I've been thinking a lot about Yunho's tummy lately too... It's still exam period (I don't know what I'm doing because this was close to 5k. Blame mb_lucified...) and oh, the ending was soo bad. I didn't know how to end it, and I'm sorry about that. D:
Also, shoot me any mistakes and leave a comment! I'd be all super mega starry on you if you do~
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