...long entry...
Because I respect my friend`s friend pages I am going to keep this entry behind an LJ-cut. Anyway, for now am also leaving it as an open entry. Maybe it`ll help people to understand myself.
All right time to do my own personal update! Yes, time for me to finally write this stuff down. Since my friend has me remembering back to my gastric bypass surgery, I decided to write a post about it. Many people think it's easy.. Well, this post might actually change your mind. So here goes nothing.
In May I went for pre-op testing. In the course of 2 days I was poked, prodded and checked over by the doctor. On the first day was cardiac tests, breathing tests, and x-rays to make sure nothing was wrong and to see everything inside. That was all not much fun, especially since my sister and I drove all night to make it to PA for this. (She was forced to work that Wednesday night and couldn't switch shifts with someone.) Anyway yeah so we made it there around 5 AM and stayed with a friend that I had made down there. She was absolutely amazing (speaking of which need to send her an e-mail and see how she's doing). The next day they did an endoscopy where they stuffed a tube with a camera down my throat. First time under just drugs that I don't remember a thing until the doctor was going so how are you feeling? I was like that's it? Let's do it again because I can't remember noooooothing!
Then on July 11, 2005 I had my surgery. We drove to PA the day before (six hour or so drive) and stayed with my friend down there. We chilled over night at her house and my sister spent her week with her instead of in a hotel. Monday: I get there early and the doctor goes: "she's already here? She's not going in until 10. Bring her to me!" He and I discussed everything and determined I was very much so ready for the surgery. My sister and I stayed at the LivLite center until finally it was my time for surgery. We went over to Kane Community Hospital and got myself all settled in. Then they nearly gave me a heart attack and said my temperature was reading a 100 and at that they wouldn't do surgery. It'd be too high of a chance for infection. They drew blood and did a STAT white blood count. Turns out -- nothing was wrong! I was panicked for no reason at all. They went through everything to expect and that by the next day I would be made to get up and start moving from the bed to the chair and all that fun stuff. I'd be sore and have a huge ass wound down the center of my stomach.
Down to the OR! It was explained that depending on how difficult I was to intibate that I may have to spend the evening on a ventilator and not to panic. The doctor tried putting in the central line with me awake, expect that it kept sending pain shooting through my shoulder. I'm like OWWWWIES! Just for that they would wait until I was out cold! Yaye to being made to be out cold. All right now out cold they did the surgery, which I have no idea how long it lasted.
I wasn't woken up until I came to my room. When I woke up I was in restraints because they didn't want me to pull the tube out. Yep, was indeed left on a ventilator. That was a very bad experience and never want to do it again. I guess they did it because I was difficult to intibate and they didn't want to have to struggle with it should something go wrong. So no stopping to breath for me that night. Sometimes they'd let go of the restraints, but they never really wanted too leave them undone. One time they were left undone and thankfully I was always conscious about the fact it was there and can't be pulled out.
The morning came and they woke me early and took away the pain medication so I would be wide awake and know what's going on around me. I kept falling back to sleep and now was awoken every time. Suddenly I just started gagging and what really scared me was that I began coughing and spitting up blood. (Poor nurse had just gotten things cleaned up a bit too and hadn't been expecting it. She seemed a bit squeamish about it though. I was glad my sister wasn't there to see that.) Finally, the doctor came and the damned thing was removed around 7:30 am I think. Liquid and ice chips were all that I could have so I had those suckers flavored with sugar free syrup.
So yeah walking with an iv stuck to me was fun indeed. Nurses got me up and moving. It wasn't easy the first day after surgery, but I made it through it. I hated the binder thing so they didn't make me wear it. Ended up causing me more pain then giving me support. Weee, yeah that was amazingly fun.
Second day in the special area for bariatric patients. I spent time there and did what I had to do to keep myself entertained. Yeah, so I began doing laps down the hall and stuff. Well, that Wednesday morning the nurse was going to give me a sponge bath and while we're in the middle of changing some guy just walks into the closed door room! He was frucking sexy and here I was half naked and looking bad. I kind of screamed and scrambled to cover up. I have no idea was I was so modest because considering the fact that the doctors (male) saw more of me then I show most people. Yeah, so fun fun.
I was walking so well that eventually I got moved to a different room. I was contented and couldn`t wait to go home. Finally, the doctor released me and together my sister and I began the drive home. I decided we could drive straight home and was so happy when we finally got home. I got to be back with my animals and family.
Anyway, yeah so now I have lost a fair amount of weight, but am struggling with it. Sometimes I actually consider becoming anorexic because I am so frustrated with my appearances. Sometimes things are just so out of whack for me and I have a difficult time dealing with things. This surgery has been the hardest thing of my life, but we`ll see what happens. I know to stop eating and such will cause me more harm then good, but still sometimes the option seems right in front of me.
My family would totally kick my butt, but often times they themselves don`t even understand what I am going through. Oh do this or do that and blah. Actually, I probably have fallen back into a state of depression, but am I really? It`s difficult to admit or even consider. I`ve found some mornings are harder to get through the others.
There aren`t many people around me that have to struggle with this issue themselves. ``Oh, Nicole you`re looking so much better! You`re definitely losing weight.`` Great, they don`t have to face themselves in the mirror in the morning. Look at themselves and determine if what they`re doing is right or wrong. I mean it`s all the pros and cons of carbs and sugars. I`ve got occasional cravings for things with sugar so sometimes I might have one bite of something, but most of the sweets I have are sugar free and carb free. So here goes nothing I guess
All right time to do my own personal update! Yes, time for me to finally write this stuff down. Since my friend has me remembering back to my gastric bypass surgery, I decided to write a post about it. Many people think it's easy.. Well, this post might actually change your mind. So here goes nothing.
In May I went for pre-op testing. In the course of 2 days I was poked, prodded and checked over by the doctor. On the first day was cardiac tests, breathing tests, and x-rays to make sure nothing was wrong and to see everything inside. That was all not much fun, especially since my sister and I drove all night to make it to PA for this. (She was forced to work that Wednesday night and couldn't switch shifts with someone.) Anyway yeah so we made it there around 5 AM and stayed with a friend that I had made down there. She was absolutely amazing (speaking of which need to send her an e-mail and see how she's doing). The next day they did an endoscopy where they stuffed a tube with a camera down my throat. First time under just drugs that I don't remember a thing until the doctor was going so how are you feeling? I was like that's it? Let's do it again because I can't remember noooooothing!
Then on July 11, 2005 I had my surgery. We drove to PA the day before (six hour or so drive) and stayed with my friend down there. We chilled over night at her house and my sister spent her week with her instead of in a hotel. Monday: I get there early and the doctor goes: "she's already here? She's not going in until 10. Bring her to me!" He and I discussed everything and determined I was very much so ready for the surgery. My sister and I stayed at the LivLite center until finally it was my time for surgery. We went over to Kane Community Hospital and got myself all settled in. Then they nearly gave me a heart attack and said my temperature was reading a 100 and at that they wouldn't do surgery. It'd be too high of a chance for infection. They drew blood and did a STAT white blood count. Turns out -- nothing was wrong! I was panicked for no reason at all. They went through everything to expect and that by the next day I would be made to get up and start moving from the bed to the chair and all that fun stuff. I'd be sore and have a huge ass wound down the center of my stomach.
Down to the OR! It was explained that depending on how difficult I was to intibate that I may have to spend the evening on a ventilator and not to panic. The doctor tried putting in the central line with me awake, expect that it kept sending pain shooting through my shoulder. I'm like OWWWWIES! Just for that they would wait until I was out cold! Yaye to being made to be out cold. All right now out cold they did the surgery, which I have no idea how long it lasted.
I wasn't woken up until I came to my room. When I woke up I was in restraints because they didn't want me to pull the tube out. Yep, was indeed left on a ventilator. That was a very bad experience and never want to do it again. I guess they did it because I was difficult to intibate and they didn't want to have to struggle with it should something go wrong. So no stopping to breath for me that night. Sometimes they'd let go of the restraints, but they never really wanted too leave them undone. One time they were left undone and thankfully I was always conscious about the fact it was there and can't be pulled out.
The morning came and they woke me early and took away the pain medication so I would be wide awake and know what's going on around me. I kept falling back to sleep and now was awoken every time. Suddenly I just started gagging and what really scared me was that I began coughing and spitting up blood. (Poor nurse had just gotten things cleaned up a bit too and hadn't been expecting it. She seemed a bit squeamish about it though. I was glad my sister wasn't there to see that.) Finally, the doctor came and the damned thing was removed around 7:30 am I think. Liquid and ice chips were all that I could have so I had those suckers flavored with sugar free syrup.
So yeah walking with an iv stuck to me was fun indeed. Nurses got me up and moving. It wasn't easy the first day after surgery, but I made it through it. I hated the binder thing so they didn't make me wear it. Ended up causing me more pain then giving me support. Weee, yeah that was amazingly fun.
Second day in the special area for bariatric patients. I spent time there and did what I had to do to keep myself entertained. Yeah, so I began doing laps down the hall and stuff. Well, that Wednesday morning the nurse was going to give me a sponge bath and while we're in the middle of changing some guy just walks into the closed door room! He was frucking sexy and here I was half naked and looking bad. I kind of screamed and scrambled to cover up. I have no idea was I was so modest because considering the fact that the doctors (male) saw more of me then I show most people. Yeah, so fun fun.
I was walking so well that eventually I got moved to a different room. I was contented and couldn`t wait to go home. Finally, the doctor released me and together my sister and I began the drive home. I decided we could drive straight home and was so happy when we finally got home. I got to be back with my animals and family.
Anyway, yeah so now I have lost a fair amount of weight, but am struggling with it. Sometimes I actually consider becoming anorexic because I am so frustrated with my appearances. Sometimes things are just so out of whack for me and I have a difficult time dealing with things. This surgery has been the hardest thing of my life, but we`ll see what happens. I know to stop eating and such will cause me more harm then good, but still sometimes the option seems right in front of me.
My family would totally kick my butt, but often times they themselves don`t even understand what I am going through. Oh do this or do that and blah. Actually, I probably have fallen back into a state of depression, but am I really? It`s difficult to admit or even consider. I`ve found some mornings are harder to get through the others.
There aren`t many people around me that have to struggle with this issue themselves. ``Oh, Nicole you`re looking so much better! You`re definitely losing weight.`` Great, they don`t have to face themselves in the mirror in the morning. Look at themselves and determine if what they`re doing is right or wrong. I mean it`s all the pros and cons of carbs and sugars. I`ve got occasional cravings for things with sugar so sometimes I might have one bite of something, but most of the sweets I have are sugar free and carb free. So here goes nothing I guess