Oh wow I am the worst brother ever and this is so so so so so so late WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY souls for your future immortal army? Slaves to build your empire? A new tv?

Annoyances of Countshire. This is your overlord speaking.

I have been having some lady problems recently. You might have seen her. She's the one into kidnapping brunettes. Whatever she says SHE IS NOT MY FIANCÉE. Look, it's a long story and I'm short on time, let's just say my parents and I have a disagreement regarding my ability to run my life ( Read more... )

Brother, I met a very nice person online last night. I think he's a friend of yours! His name is Gerard.

i've decided i'm gay now. and don't you fucking tell me i can't become gay. i can become whatever the fuck i wanna be! didn't your mother ever tell YOU that? huh?!

now who's gonna buy me another drink. . .

i must meet the prince!

Who's "Zafer"?

Whoever he is, this girl thought I was him. She's pretty intent on finding him, so if anyone knows who the guy is, tell him he has a fiance on the loose.

Did someone lose a sign which says "free hugs"?

I found it pinned to my back.

The best view for the fireworks is from the trees.

Hello, I couldn't help but notice it was your birthday. I bought you something. When would it be best for me to deliver it?

They're failing. Some magicians.

Hm.

Not my problem yet.

I wonder what the media will make of this. "Dead Egyptians turn up in small English town". I hope Dr. Kaplinsky has something in mind. Though I wouldn't put it past old Lezard himself to shush things up...

Good thing it's not my problem. I should relax, work on my homework.

Hm.