got me feeling like a manwhore.
long long day. good times cleaning at steph's as always AND got 2 newcastles and a ten dollar tip.
then to the empire coffee (old map room) where I spent 4.5 hours cleaning up monster amounts of dust and dirt. every damn surface, wipe wipe wipe. had to sweep then vacuum then sweep. mopped with two buckets of rinse water and one of soapy water and had to change all three every 20 feet. now my mop is black and i am almost out of cleaning products. all this on an empty stomach.
this night work is great and all but not when i have to call candace and say "there's no way i am going to work at 9 tomorrow."
got done at 10:45. hands so tired feet blistered and halfway thru
linda and karlene call and go we don't believe your lies so i fessed up with many tears and selfrecriminations and many many of them saying
you've let us down and betrayed our trust you are not to have people over without asking us and you left the house a wreck and do you realize what a spot you have put us in this is our house and you could fuck up the deal and they could decide not to buy it and such phrases as if i didn't already feel like fucking shit about it now i am on the fucking border of hating myself due to inability to act my age and to tell the damn truth in a tight spot.
so i am standing on the corner of madison and main sobbing and pacing and feeling like a total failure. then back to cleaning the fucking basement and bathrooms of the old fucking map room.
I need a back rub and some really good head and you know I think it will be a long time before i get either one.
at least when I went to the deli for food and guiness I ran into Joel and Tim who did an admirable job of cheering me up, bless their inky little hearts.
fun conversation about hitting women etc. of course when I hit a guy I want him to hit me back. no question of that. it's just a matter of when and where.
i'm so tired i can feel my heart beating in the soles of my feets.
but even if you don't bother to say call or even say hi,
I like the way you move...