Fic: Muse, 1/1, Rated PG
Title: Muse
Author: courts
Disclaimer: No, not true.
Rated: PG
Summary: A love story in nine easy steps.
Notes: Okay, here we go again with the drabbles that aren't drabbles that are taking over my brain. This one got ridiculously long, but whatever. The nine parts are each supposed to represent one of the Muses from Greek mythology. I tried not to get too bogged down in details, but sometimes it didn't work out. I'd love to know what you guys think.
Thanks: mrs_viola_swamp, queen of the betas :)
Muse
i. speech
The first time you spoke to him, you felt it.
He was seventeen and of course you told yourself to stop being ridiculous and go find Michael and have a drink or something, but something in that voice was drawing you in, making you forget what you should be doing. You sank into his words, the raspy little catch and the way his eyes darted shyly away from you when he spoke and you knew that you were in trouble.
ii. history
Andy was the first guy that you ever kissed, and he was seventeen at the time, too. Of course, you weren't quite so far removed from seventeen back then, but that hadn't made it feel any less wrong at the time.
David reminded you so much of Andy, all dark hair and big eyes and awkward stance. Sometimes it was like you were back there in Tulsa, standing off to the side at sound check in some dive bar, watching Andy tune his guitar and falling in love for the first time in your life.
But, for as much as David reminded you of Andy, he was also so very different. Andy had never been quite this innocent, for one thing. He'd been the one to push you against the wall in the bathroom of some club, finally unable to take the furtive glances for one more second. As he stuck his tongue in your mouth and dug his fingers into your hip that night, you knew that Andy wasn't nearly as naive as you had assumed.
David, though, he might actually be as virtuous as he seemed. He'd smile at you, all shy and reticent, and you found yourself thinking that he couldn't possibly feel what you felt. He'd never even had a first kiss; how could he know the dark desires that lived in your heart?
iii. tragedy
You felt pretty stupid when all was said and done, standing in front of millions of people and singing a Mariah Carey song and then freaking crying about it afterwards. But seeing Adam in the crowd, you couldn't stop yourself. It was just more than you could handle and you had to release some of the pressure somehow. The tears were better than screaming, you supposed.
And, at least it wasn't as bad as Dolly Parton week, you thought. Because that had been so much worse, talking to your mom that afternoon about the latest on Adam's condition and the utter uncertainty had been maddening. You just needed an answer and there were none to be had and it was making you insane.
You'd felt your cheeks flushing as you sang and you knew that meant your blood pressure was probably getting out of control. You tried to take deep, even breaths as you listened to the judges comments, but later you barely remembered what they'd said to you. All you could recall was the pounding in your head and the anxiety, nearly palpable in your veins.
You'd made it through the show and that was a miracle. All you wanted was to go back to your room and crawl under the covers to sleep, but you knew it wouldn't be a good idea. You probably needed to see a doctor, even if it was the last thing you really felt like doing.
You mentioned this quietly to one of the producers and hoped that no one else heard, but somehow David seemed to pick up that something wasn't right. He sat beside you on the couch backstage and pressed a cool cloth to your forehead as someone else called around to find a private doctor that could see you that evening. You didn't want him to worry, but you couldn't lie and say that you wanted him to stop. Having him so close and watching over you, it felt better than you knew it should.
You refused to let them take you in an ambulance, so a production assistant named Cynthia ended up taking you instead. Your family wasn't in town and you said that you'd be fine to go on your own, but David wasn't going to allow that. In a show of uncharacteristic resolve, he shook his head and said that he'd be going, too, and the words were spoken with such finality that all you could do was nod.
You'd seen the doctor alone, leaving David in the waiting room wringing his hands nervously. He'd been right there when you walked back in, looking at you expectantly, his eyes willing you to be okay.
"I'm fine, just had to adjust my meds and told me to take it easy for the night," you said and he looked like an innocent man on death row who'd just gotten a last minute call from the governor. His shoulders literally lifted with your words.
He led you back outside, his arm around your waist, and you thought it was funny, him being the strong one. It wasn't something you'd ever have expected but, really, it made a lot of sense. He wasn't nearly as fragile as people thought and, though you might not always show it, your heart was made of glass.
By the time the two of you arrived at the apartment, the others had gone to dinner and he insisted on having someone bring you something to eat. You ate egg drop soup and watched him push rice around on his untouched plate and silently prayed he'd never go away.
The others came back and everyone stopped by your room to check on you and you assured them all that you were fine. David stood by the whole time, silently watching but never leaving your side. When you told Michael that you were tired and you just wanted to get some sleep, the older man nodded and got up from his seat beside your bed, clapping you lightly on the shoulder and telling you that he was glad you were okay. You expected David to leave with him but, for about the millionth time, the younger man surprised you.
He curled up on the chaise by your bed, never saying a word, and settled in for the night. You felt your lips curl into a grin as you turned off the light and fell quickly into sleep.
iv. music
When you chose your song for Andrew Lloyd Webber week, you were secretly thinking of him. So, when Sir Andrew told you to sing to a 'beautiful seventeen-year old girl', you nearly choked on your own astonishment. It was just a coincidence, you told yourself, and no one else knew.
But then he sang 'Think of Me' and you wondered if he saw more than you gave him credit for.
v. comedy
The others hated your jokes, but you didn't really care. They made David giggle and that was worth a lifetime of eye rolling from Syesha and Jason.
"What kind of paper makes the best kites?" you asked him. He shrugged and you replied, "Fly paper!" His giggles made you smile and you ignored the groans of your fellow contestants.
vi. dance
It was his prom night and you knew that he was upset at not being able to be there for it, even if he said that it wasn't that big of a deal.
You remembered your own prom, wearing your step-dad's shoes and your mom helping you with your tie as she sniffled about how grown up you were. You'd taken Lisa, the girl who starred opposite you in the senior production of 'Singing in the Rain'. She was pretty and blonde and sweet and she wore a pink dress that you couldn't stop looking down the front of in the limo on the way there.
You went to a party afterwards at Brian Duncan's house and ended up having sex with Lisa in Brian's sister's bed. She was the second girl you'd ever slept with and you never said that you loved her, but you thought at the time that you might someday. You hadn't, though, and it was just a memory now.
David would never have that memory and, strange as it might be, it made you sad. Everyone deserved a prom night, even if it turned out terrible.
Brooke decided to play his date for the day, and your opinion of her grew by leaps and bounds with that one act. She let him pull out her chair and weave his arm through hers and slow dance with her to really bad pop songs. It wasn't the same, but it was something he could hold onto and that made it a little better.
You asked him one time if he'd like to dance with you, your eyes lighting with mischief but your heart hoping that he'd say yes. He hadn't, of course, and you laughed and swallowed your disappointment. You asked one of the make-up girls to run to the market down the street and get you a corsage, giving it to David to put on his 'date'. His eyes watched you as he pinned it to Brooke's shirt and she kissed his cheek.
vii. sacred
He tried to go to church with his dad or Brooke whenever he had the time, so you were more than a little surprised when he knocked on your door on a Saturday afternoon after a grueling day of rehearsals and asked if you'd like to join him. You hadn't been to church since you were a kid, but you readily agreed, asking him what you should wear. He said that it didn't matter, you weren't actually going inside. You thought that was strange, but nodded, going to get dressed as he turned to go and do the same.
You wore khakis and ironed an oxford shirt anyway, but decided to forego the tie. He smiled when he saw you and told you that you looked nice.
You'd never been to a Mormon church and you were not even sure that was what they were called. Tabernacle, maybe? Temple? You didn't ask and it didn't seem to matter.
You borrowed Michael's car since he actually lived in Los Angeles and had his vehicle with him, and let David navigate until you reached your destination. It turned out to be a grand looking white building with towering spires and statues throughout the grounds. You parked across the street and looked at David like 'now what?'
He got out of the car and you followed, walking across to a granite walkway that led to the doors of the huge building.
"We don't actually go to Temple on a regular basis," David had explained. "It's more like for special occasions." You nodded like you understood, but really that seemed strange. Your Catholic grandmother had always gone to Mass at the same place, no matter what the occasion.
David proceeded to tell you that you couldn't enter the building, so the two of you were just going to sit outside. You followed him to a bench and the two of you sat side by side in silence for a long time.
"David?" you finally asked. "Why'd you bring me here?" and you hoped it didn't offend him because, really, you were just curious.
But, he just shrugged and said, "I just wanted to be here tonight. I needed to be close to . . ." he trailed off, gesturing towards the building and not really finishing his thought. And he seemed to understand that that wasn't really your question. "I wanted to be here with you," he said and when he looked up and met your gaze, you felt like you had turned a corner.
After that day, there was no going back.
viii. astronomy
The season had ended and you'd worried that he would forget about you the second your personal space was no longer co-mingled, but that hadn't seemed to matter. He'd call you every day or two and just tell you what he'd been doing, about this interview or that, about how his album was coming along. The two of you were friends and that was nice, but you were also just at the surface of being more and that was exciting and terrifying and you weren't sure how to handle it.
The tour started and you were back to being around each other all the time and it felt natural, falling back into one another's rhythm. He liked the top bunk better, but he chose the bottom bunk because it faced yours across the aisle. Sometimes, you'd both pull the curtains back just a little and have a whispered conversation across the small space until Chikezie would tell you to shut up already and then you'd just watch each other, usually until one of you fell asleep.
The lounge in the back of the bus had a skylight and sometimes you would lay on the couch and watch the stars. You told yourself that he only lay so close because the couch wasn't that big and that it wasn't weird for him to have his thigh pressed to yours in the small space. Sometimes you even believed it.
"I always wanted a telescope," he said one night as the two of you lay on your backs and looked up at the sky. The girls' bus was having engine trouble and you were stopped on the side of the road as they waited for the mechanic to fix whatever was wrong. You could hear the others up front laughing about something and the last time you'd checked they were playing cards. You didn't really care because you were fine right where you were.
"Andrew had one," you told David. "We watched a meteor shower one time. It was pretty cool."
"We should go to the planetarium," he said. You nodded and said that you'd see if there was one that you could make it to while the tour was going on.
"It doesn't have to be on the tour," he'd said. "We could always go, you know, after." It was the first time that either of you had spoken about what came next. You smiled as you reached down and curled your pinkie around his as a shooting star streaked across the skylight overhead.
ix. love
You never expected this. Auditioning for American Idol and then actually winning and going on tour and being everywhere, it had all seemed like a dream. But this, this felt like something all together different. This was like something you couldn't have dreamed of, because it was something that you'd wanted too much to even hope for.
You were back in your house in Albany and it was cold. It was December, a few days after Christmas, and the tour had ended and your first post-Idol album was doing really well on the charts and you couldn't imagine how your life could get any better.
Well, you couldn't imagine until you opened your door and saw him there. And then there really was nothing better.
"I hope it's okay that I'm here?" he said tentatively and you had nodded vigorously and ushered him inside.
"What are you doing here?" you asked as you helped him out of his coat and dusted snow from his hair.
"I . . . my birthday is tomorrow," he said matter-of-factly. And yes, you knew that. You'd already sent him a gift with instructions on not opening it until December 28th. "I wanted to spend it with you," he said and the flush that covered his cheeks was enough to make your knees weak.
You had searched for the words to respond, but couldn't think of any. Then, you didn't need them after all, because his cool lips were pressed to yours in a closed mouth kiss and you lost the ability to speak.
"It's nine o'clock," he said as the two of you parted. You nodded dumbly, wondering what that had to do with him kissing you. "We have three hours until midnight," he explained, "And I didn't want to have all of my firsts in one day."
You commanded yourself to breathe, pulling him close to you and kissing him for real this time and he came willingly, melting under your touch. When he went upstairs to take a shower and you sat down at the kitchen table, you wondered how you were ever going to make it until midnight.
-=-=-=-=-
The End
July 6, 2008
-=-=-=-=-
Author: courts
Disclaimer: No, not true.
Rated: PG
Summary: A love story in nine easy steps.
Notes: Okay, here we go again with the drabbles that aren't drabbles that are taking over my brain. This one got ridiculously long, but whatever. The nine parts are each supposed to represent one of the Muses from Greek mythology. I tried not to get too bogged down in details, but sometimes it didn't work out. I'd love to know what you guys think.
Thanks: mrs_viola_swamp, queen of the betas :)
Muse
i. speech
The first time you spoke to him, you felt it.
He was seventeen and of course you told yourself to stop being ridiculous and go find Michael and have a drink or something, but something in that voice was drawing you in, making you forget what you should be doing. You sank into his words, the raspy little catch and the way his eyes darted shyly away from you when he spoke and you knew that you were in trouble.
ii. history
Andy was the first guy that you ever kissed, and he was seventeen at the time, too. Of course, you weren't quite so far removed from seventeen back then, but that hadn't made it feel any less wrong at the time.
David reminded you so much of Andy, all dark hair and big eyes and awkward stance. Sometimes it was like you were back there in Tulsa, standing off to the side at sound check in some dive bar, watching Andy tune his guitar and falling in love for the first time in your life.
But, for as much as David reminded you of Andy, he was also so very different. Andy had never been quite this innocent, for one thing. He'd been the one to push you against the wall in the bathroom of some club, finally unable to take the furtive glances for one more second. As he stuck his tongue in your mouth and dug his fingers into your hip that night, you knew that Andy wasn't nearly as naive as you had assumed.
David, though, he might actually be as virtuous as he seemed. He'd smile at you, all shy and reticent, and you found yourself thinking that he couldn't possibly feel what you felt. He'd never even had a first kiss; how could he know the dark desires that lived in your heart?
iii. tragedy
You felt pretty stupid when all was said and done, standing in front of millions of people and singing a Mariah Carey song and then freaking crying about it afterwards. But seeing Adam in the crowd, you couldn't stop yourself. It was just more than you could handle and you had to release some of the pressure somehow. The tears were better than screaming, you supposed.
And, at least it wasn't as bad as Dolly Parton week, you thought. Because that had been so much worse, talking to your mom that afternoon about the latest on Adam's condition and the utter uncertainty had been maddening. You just needed an answer and there were none to be had and it was making you insane.
You'd felt your cheeks flushing as you sang and you knew that meant your blood pressure was probably getting out of control. You tried to take deep, even breaths as you listened to the judges comments, but later you barely remembered what they'd said to you. All you could recall was the pounding in your head and the anxiety, nearly palpable in your veins.
You'd made it through the show and that was a miracle. All you wanted was to go back to your room and crawl under the covers to sleep, but you knew it wouldn't be a good idea. You probably needed to see a doctor, even if it was the last thing you really felt like doing.
You mentioned this quietly to one of the producers and hoped that no one else heard, but somehow David seemed to pick up that something wasn't right. He sat beside you on the couch backstage and pressed a cool cloth to your forehead as someone else called around to find a private doctor that could see you that evening. You didn't want him to worry, but you couldn't lie and say that you wanted him to stop. Having him so close and watching over you, it felt better than you knew it should.
You refused to let them take you in an ambulance, so a production assistant named Cynthia ended up taking you instead. Your family wasn't in town and you said that you'd be fine to go on your own, but David wasn't going to allow that. In a show of uncharacteristic resolve, he shook his head and said that he'd be going, too, and the words were spoken with such finality that all you could do was nod.
You'd seen the doctor alone, leaving David in the waiting room wringing his hands nervously. He'd been right there when you walked back in, looking at you expectantly, his eyes willing you to be okay.
"I'm fine, just had to adjust my meds and told me to take it easy for the night," you said and he looked like an innocent man on death row who'd just gotten a last minute call from the governor. His shoulders literally lifted with your words.
He led you back outside, his arm around your waist, and you thought it was funny, him being the strong one. It wasn't something you'd ever have expected but, really, it made a lot of sense. He wasn't nearly as fragile as people thought and, though you might not always show it, your heart was made of glass.
By the time the two of you arrived at the apartment, the others had gone to dinner and he insisted on having someone bring you something to eat. You ate egg drop soup and watched him push rice around on his untouched plate and silently prayed he'd never go away.
The others came back and everyone stopped by your room to check on you and you assured them all that you were fine. David stood by the whole time, silently watching but never leaving your side. When you told Michael that you were tired and you just wanted to get some sleep, the older man nodded and got up from his seat beside your bed, clapping you lightly on the shoulder and telling you that he was glad you were okay. You expected David to leave with him but, for about the millionth time, the younger man surprised you.
He curled up on the chaise by your bed, never saying a word, and settled in for the night. You felt your lips curl into a grin as you turned off the light and fell quickly into sleep.
iv. music
When you chose your song for Andrew Lloyd Webber week, you were secretly thinking of him. So, when Sir Andrew told you to sing to a 'beautiful seventeen-year old girl', you nearly choked on your own astonishment. It was just a coincidence, you told yourself, and no one else knew.
But then he sang 'Think of Me' and you wondered if he saw more than you gave him credit for.
v. comedy
The others hated your jokes, but you didn't really care. They made David giggle and that was worth a lifetime of eye rolling from Syesha and Jason.
"What kind of paper makes the best kites?" you asked him. He shrugged and you replied, "Fly paper!" His giggles made you smile and you ignored the groans of your fellow contestants.
vi. dance
It was his prom night and you knew that he was upset at not being able to be there for it, even if he said that it wasn't that big of a deal.
You remembered your own prom, wearing your step-dad's shoes and your mom helping you with your tie as she sniffled about how grown up you were. You'd taken Lisa, the girl who starred opposite you in the senior production of 'Singing in the Rain'. She was pretty and blonde and sweet and she wore a pink dress that you couldn't stop looking down the front of in the limo on the way there.
You went to a party afterwards at Brian Duncan's house and ended up having sex with Lisa in Brian's sister's bed. She was the second girl you'd ever slept with and you never said that you loved her, but you thought at the time that you might someday. You hadn't, though, and it was just a memory now.
David would never have that memory and, strange as it might be, it made you sad. Everyone deserved a prom night, even if it turned out terrible.
Brooke decided to play his date for the day, and your opinion of her grew by leaps and bounds with that one act. She let him pull out her chair and weave his arm through hers and slow dance with her to really bad pop songs. It wasn't the same, but it was something he could hold onto and that made it a little better.
You asked him one time if he'd like to dance with you, your eyes lighting with mischief but your heart hoping that he'd say yes. He hadn't, of course, and you laughed and swallowed your disappointment. You asked one of the make-up girls to run to the market down the street and get you a corsage, giving it to David to put on his 'date'. His eyes watched you as he pinned it to Brooke's shirt and she kissed his cheek.
vii. sacred
He tried to go to church with his dad or Brooke whenever he had the time, so you were more than a little surprised when he knocked on your door on a Saturday afternoon after a grueling day of rehearsals and asked if you'd like to join him. You hadn't been to church since you were a kid, but you readily agreed, asking him what you should wear. He said that it didn't matter, you weren't actually going inside. You thought that was strange, but nodded, going to get dressed as he turned to go and do the same.
You wore khakis and ironed an oxford shirt anyway, but decided to forego the tie. He smiled when he saw you and told you that you looked nice.
You'd never been to a Mormon church and you were not even sure that was what they were called. Tabernacle, maybe? Temple? You didn't ask and it didn't seem to matter.
You borrowed Michael's car since he actually lived in Los Angeles and had his vehicle with him, and let David navigate until you reached your destination. It turned out to be a grand looking white building with towering spires and statues throughout the grounds. You parked across the street and looked at David like 'now what?'
He got out of the car and you followed, walking across to a granite walkway that led to the doors of the huge building.
"We don't actually go to Temple on a regular basis," David had explained. "It's more like for special occasions." You nodded like you understood, but really that seemed strange. Your Catholic grandmother had always gone to Mass at the same place, no matter what the occasion.
David proceeded to tell you that you couldn't enter the building, so the two of you were just going to sit outside. You followed him to a bench and the two of you sat side by side in silence for a long time.
"David?" you finally asked. "Why'd you bring me here?" and you hoped it didn't offend him because, really, you were just curious.
But, he just shrugged and said, "I just wanted to be here tonight. I needed to be close to . . ." he trailed off, gesturing towards the building and not really finishing his thought. And he seemed to understand that that wasn't really your question. "I wanted to be here with you," he said and when he looked up and met your gaze, you felt like you had turned a corner.
After that day, there was no going back.
viii. astronomy
The season had ended and you'd worried that he would forget about you the second your personal space was no longer co-mingled, but that hadn't seemed to matter. He'd call you every day or two and just tell you what he'd been doing, about this interview or that, about how his album was coming along. The two of you were friends and that was nice, but you were also just at the surface of being more and that was exciting and terrifying and you weren't sure how to handle it.
The tour started and you were back to being around each other all the time and it felt natural, falling back into one another's rhythm. He liked the top bunk better, but he chose the bottom bunk because it faced yours across the aisle. Sometimes, you'd both pull the curtains back just a little and have a whispered conversation across the small space until Chikezie would tell you to shut up already and then you'd just watch each other, usually until one of you fell asleep.
The lounge in the back of the bus had a skylight and sometimes you would lay on the couch and watch the stars. You told yourself that he only lay so close because the couch wasn't that big and that it wasn't weird for him to have his thigh pressed to yours in the small space. Sometimes you even believed it.
"I always wanted a telescope," he said one night as the two of you lay on your backs and looked up at the sky. The girls' bus was having engine trouble and you were stopped on the side of the road as they waited for the mechanic to fix whatever was wrong. You could hear the others up front laughing about something and the last time you'd checked they were playing cards. You didn't really care because you were fine right where you were.
"Andrew had one," you told David. "We watched a meteor shower one time. It was pretty cool."
"We should go to the planetarium," he said. You nodded and said that you'd see if there was one that you could make it to while the tour was going on.
"It doesn't have to be on the tour," he'd said. "We could always go, you know, after." It was the first time that either of you had spoken about what came next. You smiled as you reached down and curled your pinkie around his as a shooting star streaked across the skylight overhead.
ix. love
You never expected this. Auditioning for American Idol and then actually winning and going on tour and being everywhere, it had all seemed like a dream. But this, this felt like something all together different. This was like something you couldn't have dreamed of, because it was something that you'd wanted too much to even hope for.
You were back in your house in Albany and it was cold. It was December, a few days after Christmas, and the tour had ended and your first post-Idol album was doing really well on the charts and you couldn't imagine how your life could get any better.
Well, you couldn't imagine until you opened your door and saw him there. And then there really was nothing better.
"I hope it's okay that I'm here?" he said tentatively and you had nodded vigorously and ushered him inside.
"What are you doing here?" you asked as you helped him out of his coat and dusted snow from his hair.
"I . . . my birthday is tomorrow," he said matter-of-factly. And yes, you knew that. You'd already sent him a gift with instructions on not opening it until December 28th. "I wanted to spend it with you," he said and the flush that covered his cheeks was enough to make your knees weak.
You had searched for the words to respond, but couldn't think of any. Then, you didn't need them after all, because his cool lips were pressed to yours in a closed mouth kiss and you lost the ability to speak.
"It's nine o'clock," he said as the two of you parted. You nodded dumbly, wondering what that had to do with him kissing you. "We have three hours until midnight," he explained, "And I didn't want to have all of my firsts in one day."
You commanded yourself to breathe, pulling him close to you and kissing him for real this time and he came willingly, melting under your touch. When he went upstairs to take a shower and you sat down at the kitchen table, you wondered how you were ever going to make it until midnight.
-=-=-=-=-
The End
July 6, 2008
-=-=-=-=-