Chapter 61: The Minster of Magic

[cheryl_bites]

Hiya, kids. Today I have some funny fics for you! :D Which is good, because we also have THE WORST FIC EVER AAARGH AAARGH MAKE IT GO AWAY.

Urrgh. *Shakes self* Phew. I think I have shaken off its vile hold on me for the moment. Let me get the crevice tool for the vacuum cleaner so I can do all those crinkly bits in my brain.

Best New Word: has just

Comments

[dancesontrains]

Draco being a rappisted.

Barista? Rapper? Rapids rower?

... all three?

I hate Harry potter

Just like half the fandom, then.

[falco_conlon]

jeeze. Judging by the number of dyslexics writing fanfic, an outsider might think it were some sort of requirement. That and aspergers.

[loquora]

‘Bloodily pain in my arus’ was his last thought before he fell asleep.

If my arus was in pain AND bloody I don't know if I would be able to fall asleep.

Possibly because I'd be so confused as to what an 'arus' was and why I had one.

Seven Years Later, July 31, 1994
...
Across from him he found himself looking at the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Mister Tony Blair.

Alright, I'm not even British and I know that Tony Blair wasn't PM in 1994. (Yes, I had to look it up, and it was John Major. Now I feel stupid because I should have known that. >_< )

“Serious Potter, that was your kid brother?” One of the seniors looked from James to Albus.

I always liked Serious Potter so much more than his brothers. Silly Potter was just so silly, and Pretentious Potter always looked down his nose at everyone.

[cheryl_bites]

Alright, I'm not even British and I know that Tony Blair wasn't PM in 1994.

That's part of what makes me hope it's a troll. I think there are other mistakes in the timeline as well, but I know next to nothing about the Windsors so I'm not sure...

I wouldn't feel bad about forgetting Major, he was a bit of a nonentity. XD

[plaid_slytherin]

she got louder and kind of whaled like she was dieing

No, usually when she whales, the *whales* die.

“Will you grow up already! WE were just told to do this!” She whinnied at him form her side of the room.

First the whales, then Hagrid's shad, now horse!Hermione... this story has too many animals!

Scoripus

Now that Voldemort's dead, we ought to start compiling misspellings of Scorpius's name. And see how close they get to "scrotum."

Does anyone at all ever have three last names, normal people OR royalty?

A voice asked from his right causing Harry to flick both his wrist causing his wand to jump from their holsters and into his hands, before he even said a curse, he found himself looking at his beautiful adopted cousin.

It took me forever to picture what this sentence meant. At first I thought he was throwing his wand at Zara...

I also love how the reviewer apparently wants the story to end, the way they are suggesting all these loopholes...

[thelittlebudgie]

“Will you grow up already! WE were just told to do this!” She whinnied at him form her side of the room.

And then Draco reported her to the Ministry for being a mixed-blood centaur with a wand.

“Divided in houses you may be,
But don’t forget these memories,
United once against the Dark Lord
Together we fought with Dumbledore.
Except for the kids in Slytherin;
That house may as well be a trash bin.

Her Grace, the Duchess of Windsor, Zara Anne Elizabeth Phillips
Ebbeh wha?
British peerage, Suethor, do you speak it? The title is extinct. And good lord, Zara? Her Majesty would not be amused, and she's not even Queen Victoria.

[cheryl_bites]

Good, I was hoping that someone who understood the aristocracy would pop up and take the piss out of the made-up titles. >:D

[beardedtroll]

And then Draco reported her to the Ministry for being a mixed-blood centaur with a wand.

"I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a centaur with a badge wand, which means I got permission to kick your fuckin' ass whenever I feel like it!"

[thelittlebudgie]

So I was thinking about it some more (I know, I know, trying to insert logic into a Suefic is bad for the brain), and why on Earth would Her Majesty have let Harry stay back from Hogwarts? By being in the school, he would gain a much more in-depth knowledge of the relationships between the people who will be in power when he's an adult, as well as making important connections with them and being able to report any oddities to the Queen or Minister of Magic. And with his royal connections, he would have a better idea of what to keep an eye out for, instead of just relying on sheer dumb luck.

Somehow I can't see her saying anything other than "Lie back Suck it up and think of England."