(Untitled)

[cowboy_]

I often wonder just why I bother. When it becomes obvious my presence is more tolerated than it is enjoyed

Comments

[storm_seeker]

*offers a hug

[cowboy_]

I think you're right. A lot of me hates myself, but a lot of me loves myself as well. It's the love that has no reason or no boundaries. Just pure acceptance and love... Which sort of scares me, because I know myself and can still love 'me'.

In all honesty though, I'm more of a black'n'white person than anyone else I know. If people like me, they generally really like me. If people don't, they'll usually show it and dislike me intensely. There's an in-between patch but it's smaller than most people's in-between patches. (like a mate of mine, no-one could actually hate him or really like him).

It's terrifying flicking the switch and seeing into the darkness. But sometimes it's also incredibly difficult to find the switch.

I know where my 'arrogant' mask starts, but I'm not sure of the borders/definitions of everything beneath that. And I know there're more layers. That's more work to add to the pile.

I just need to shed some more light on the situation *nods*

[storm_seeker]

The switch is generally right infront of us all the time. It's just there's so much between us and the switch, we can't see three feet infront of us. (Or inside us, as the case may be.)

You may want to look into shamanic journeying, guided visualizations and such.