Fic: Somewhere Only We Know (7/?)
Title: I've Learned Love is Just One Adjustment After Another (7/?)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Talk of a possible sex change, non-graphic duscussions of sex
Disclaimer: These guys aren't mine, I've never claimed that they are. Absolutely no profit whatsoever is being gained from this, and no copyright infringment is intended.
A/N: Thanks again to WPR404 for her quick beta-ing and ever constant words of encouragement.
Burt Hummel loved his son. And after years of confusion and muddled communication, he liked to think that the two of them had grown much closer and that Kurt, who was growing into a very brilliant and wonderful young man, could tell him anything. Burt also liked to think that he could take whatever Kurt dished out. He had spent a lot of his years parenting Kurt thinking about how he might react to some of the things Kurt told him. If he was honest with himself, he never really reacted like he planned to. Sitting on the couch one night, waiting for Kurt's weekly phone call, he recalled the time that Kurt had told him about losing his virginity.
~2013~
When Burt got home from work, it was quite common to find his son in the kitchen cooking dinner or in the living room working on homework or in his room singing. It was not common to not find his son at all, and it was especially uncommon to find a note on the counter. Burt took off his hat and rubbed his face before dropping his coat over the back of one of the bar stools that was pulled up to the counter. Putting his hat back on with one hand, he picked up the pink piece of paper from the counter and held it close to his face, trying to decipher his son's messy script.
Dad-
I went over to Blaine's house to spend some time with him. Will be home before curfew.
Xoxo-
Kurt
Burt set down the paper. Kurt had never gone to Blaine's house before - whenever they spent time together at a house, they were always here;where Burt could keep a watchful and constant eye on them. And even with his ever observant behaviour, there had been a few times when the boys' make-out sessions had gotten close to being out of hand. Burt wasn't sure if Blaine's parents would be as vigilant as they should be - or even if they were home.
He walked over to fridge absentmindedly and grabbed a bottle of beer from the top shelf. He wondered if he should call Kurt and tell him the boys should come over? No, he knew that would just infuriate his son, and really, they were good kids. And - he chuckled lightly - it's not like they could really get into any trouble. But the truth was, he thought, taking a sip of his beer, he wasn't so worried about that anyways. He couldn't bear it if his son was hurt by someone and he, Burt, couldn't do anything about it. Keeping his son safe and secure was really the best, and only, option available to him.
He picked up the note off the counter where he had dropped it and crunched it into a ball before tossing it into the garbage can. He walked out into the living room and couldn't help fingering his phone in his pocket. He wasn't going to call Kurt, he promised himself. He wasn't going to embarrass his son like that. But maybe he could text him? Kurt had taught him how to do that a week or so ago, and he would use it to his advantage, now.
He set his beer on the coffee table and pulled out his phone, pushing it open so that the keyboard was fully exposed. Kurt had said this would be a good phone for him because it had a quirky keyboard or something, and it would be easy for him to use - just like the keyboard on the computer. He selected Kurt from his contact list, trying to remember how to send the message. After the little box popped up (thank goodness it said "Insert text message here"), he began to type.
"Hey, I got your note. Hope you are having fun. Love, Dad."
He re-read it multiple times before tapping the send button. He set his phone on the coffee table and leaned back, beer in hand, satisfied with himself. However, an hour later when he hadn't heard back from his son, he was a little concerned. Burt knew, from countless arguments with Kurt over dinner, the boy liked to respond to text messages immediately.
Carole had come home from work, too, and upon hearing about Burt's predicament reassured him. "Oh honey," she said, giving him a new beer, "don't worry. I'm sure they're just caught up in whatever it is they're doing. He's fine." She smiled knowingly at him before going upstairs to have a bath.
Burt ignored the churning in his gut when it was half an hour before curfew and he hadn't even heard from Kurt. Carole had been polite enough not to chide Burt for keeping his phone out during dinner and she had not mentioned his paranoia when she said she was going to bed. She kissed him on the cheek and rubbed his shoulder. "Don't stay up too late," she said, leaving him in the living room, where he kept a close eye on the front door.
He felt his eyes getting heavy and knew he should go up to bed. Kurt would be home any minute now, and waiting by the door or in bed would not make any difference. He knew his son would come and say good night anyways. But Burt couldn't push himself out of his chair - regardless of the fact that he wanted to go in to the shop early the next morning, regardless of the fact that he knew Kurt was a responsible boy and he needn't worry, regardless of the fact that he liked Blaine enough - Burt couldn't force himself to look away from the front door.
At midnight - when the door should have opened - his phone began ringing in his pocket. He glanced at it nervously. Kurt's smiling face showed up with his name under it, and Burt watched it for a moment before pushing the talk button. "Where are you?" he almost growled into the phone.
"Hey dad, I'm sorry. I know I'm late. I hit a few red lights and I'm just stopping to get some gas, okay? I'll be home in no more than 15 minutes."
"Kurt…" Burt's voice was tinged with warning.
"I know, Dad. I'm so sorry. I didn't know I needed gas until I got in the car and I saw the tank was almost empty. I would have left a little earlier otherwise."
Burt nodded and then realized Kurt couldn't see him. "Fine, just don't let it happen again."
"I won't." Burt could hear the beep of the auto-pay at the gas station. At least Kurt was being honest with him. "I know it's late Dad, but do you think when I get home, we could, you know…talk?"
Burt stifled a yawn at the mention of the time. "Of course we can," he said, "is everything okay?"
"Everything's great. Do you mind putting some water on to boil? I want some tea before bed."
"Sure. I will in a few minutes."
"Okay, I'm gonna start driving now. Love you."
"Love you, too, kiddo." Burt hung up and watched his phone as his son's name and picture faded, disappearing into the background that usually covered the screen.
Kurt got home shortly after and joined Burt in the kitchen, pouring the boiled water into his French press. He was about to add more when he turned to his dad, "Do you want some?" he asked. Burt nodded. Kurt didn't say anything until the tea was done, and he brought both steaming mugs over to the table where Burt was sitting, fidgeting and trying to hide it. Kurt sat down, crossing his legs and took a sip of the tea.
"What did you want to talk to me about, Kurt?"
He looked up at Burt, studied him for a moment - as though trying to search for the answer to an unspoken question - and then opened his mouth. And closed it.
"Are you sure everything's okay?" Burt asked nervously. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, but Burt had always told himself he would be open to hearing whatever it was his son had to say. He wanted Kurt to feel like he had a confidante in him no matter what the topic of conversation was.
"Everything's fine," the young man reassured his father once more. "I have something to tell you, because I know you'd want me to, I'm just trying to think of the best way to word it. But I fear there isn't really a best way." Kurt sighed into his mug of tea. "Blaine and I…we…well, we made love tonight."
"I swear I'll - wait, what?" Burt had expected from his son's hesitation that he had broken up with his first boyfriend. Burt had been ready to promise retribution. But as the words formed in his mouth, his brain comprehended what his son had said, and he had to stop for a moment. "You…made love?" He tried not to make a face.
"Yes. I figured you would want to know, because, well, you were talking all about the important emotional connection, and how I shouldn't just throw myself around. It was my first time, Dad, and I know what you meant, now. I know about the connection and about it bringing people together, making their bond stronger." A small smile danced on Kurt's lips, and Burt tried not to wonder at what his son might be envisioning right then.
"You mean…you had sex?"
Kurt let out an exasperated but kind sigh. "Yes, Dad. We didn't plan it, or anything. When I went over, we were just going to watch Moulin Rouge and talk for a bit. We were going to take his dog for a walk. But one thing turned into another and…"
"Okay!" Burt held up his hands. "I appreciate you telling me, but I don't need to know all of the details."
Kurt laughed and smiled at him. "Anyways, I just wanted to say, more now than ever, I appreciate that talk we had last year." Kurt stood up and put a hand on his father's. "I love you, Dad." Kurt told Burt all the time that he loved him. After Burt's heart attack, the boy had been sure to always part ways affirming his affection for his father. But the way he said it then - it had been different. It had been deeper, like it contained more meaning. Blaine and Kurt may have connected on a deeper level, but Burt felt that in some way, his son understood him better now. They were bonding, too. Even if it was over something that made Burt so very uncomfortable.
"I love you too, Kurt. Thanks for telling me." He turned his hand over to squeeze his son's.
"Goodnight." Kurt turned to walk up the stairs, going to bed. Burt however, stayed at the table and looked into his mug of untouched tea. Well, that was it. There was no way he was going to get to the shop early the next morning.
~Present~
He bounced his knees up and down, waiting for the phone to ring. It had been so hard for him, when Kurt had moved out. Burt hadn't realized how much he enjoyed having his son around until he had not lived in the same house anymore. Sometimes Carole complained about Finn still living at home, but everyone knew how much she loved it and how much Burt envied her having her son around all of the time. The phone finally rang, right on schedule, and Burt snatched up the receiver before it could complete its first jingle.
"Hello?" He answered with his generic hello, just in case it wasn't his son on the other end.
"Hi Dad." It wasn't his son. It was Blaine.
"Hey, Blaine," he tried not to sound disappointed. He did love Blaine, and he did love hearing from him, he just wanted to talk to his son right now. "What's up?"
"Kurt wanted me to call you. He said he couldn't talk on the phone right now, but he'd like to call you later tonight. Is that okay?"
Burt's shoulders dropped a little. "Sure. No problem. Is everything ok? Should I be worried?"
"No, no problems. He just had to go to work for a bit. Emergency."
"I didn't know there were emergencies when it came to fashion," Burt said honestly.
Blaine laughed loudly before replying. "I think it was with one of his regular clients. Anyways, he still wants to talk, so I'll let him know to call you later tonight?"
"Yeah, thanks for calling Blaine, you know how worried I would have been."
"Yeah, that's why I figured I'd give you a shout."
"Talk to you later."
"Bye."
"I do not appreciate you making me lie to your father," Blaine glared at Kurt immediately after setting the receiver back on the base. He crossed his arms as he looked at the younger man who was sitting awkwardly on their sofa.
"I didn't make you," Kurt disputed. "I asked you to. So I could sort out my thoughts, and everything. We just got back from Dr. Drayden's and I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell him or not, but that's all that's on my mind."
Blaine softened, dropping his arms to his sides. "I know, I was just kidding." He walked over to the couch. "Why don't we go for a walk," he suggested. "You can clear your head…we can go by the pet store!"
Kurt looked up to see Blaine with a large grin on his face. "Okay, fine. We can go to the pet store. But we are not buying a hamster. So don't even ask."
"I just want to look," Blaine whined. But the smile never left his face. He reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand, pulling him up from his sitting position. "When we get back, I'm sure you'll feel better and you'll be totally ready to talk to your dad about all of this. Or whatever you want to talk to him about."
Kurt nodded, pulling on his coat. "What were you laughing about when you were talking to my dad on the phone?"
"Oh, he asked me if it was even possible for you to have a fashion emergency."
Kurt's jaw dropped while Blaine ushered him out the door. "Of course it is!"
They didn't get back to the apartment until 9 or so, and Blaine was exhausted. He kissed Kurt on the cheek before going to get ready for bed. Kurt sucked in a nervous breath, still unsure of what he was going to talk to his father about, before picking the cordless phone, and walking over to recline on his bed. He dialled the number he knew by heart, and waited. One ring, two rings…maybe his father had already gone to bed?
On the third ring, Burt picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey, Dad. It's me."
"Hey, kiddo. I was beginning to wonder when I was going to hear from you. Everything go okay at work?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. My most regular client spilled grape juice on a dress of hers - needed another exactly like it for a gala tonight. But of course it was a one of kind, so I had to just fix the dress she already had. That's why it's so late."
"Why was she drinking grape juice in the dress?" Burt didn't really care, but he always made a point of getting involved in his son's life, no matter what the boy was doing.
"Who knows? I don't ask questions, I just make clothes. Anyways, what's new with you? Anything exciting happening in the shop?"
"Not really." Kurt heard his dad say goodnight to Carole. "Although some kid from your high school came in the other day. Said he was in Glee club. Guess you guys made that kind of popular, hey?"
Kurt chuckled. "I don't know about that, Dad."
"Well what's new with you, other than the dress, of course."
"Not much, really. Just working and spending my spare time working on another musical. This one will be far better than Pip, Pip, Hooray! I'm sure of it. Also, um," Kurt glanced up as Blaine stuck his head out of the bathroom. He was either wearing boxers, or (hopefully!) nothing. He had toothpaste foam around his mouth and was gripping the toothbrush tightly. He wanted to know what Kurt was going to say. "Also, Blaine and I went to see a therapist today."
"What?" Kurt could tell his father was shocked and was trying to hide it. "Why? Is everything alright with you two? You seemed perfectly happy when you left."
"We're not fighting or anything, no. We went because. Oh, Dad, I don't know how to tell you this. I really don't want to upset you. Maybe I should tell Carole and she can break it to you?"
"Kurt, it'll be fine. Whatever it is, you know it won't make me love you any less."
"I know. I just…I don't know how you're going to take this. Please don't take it as an insult."
"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Dad, I just…I…"
"Kurt," Blaine interrupted from the doorway. He had now rinsed off his face, and Kurt saw he was (unfortunately) still wearing his underwear. "Just tell him, you're freaking him out even more."
"Dad, we went to see the therapist because I'm thinking about - just thinking about! - maybe, possibly, perhaps getting a sex change."
"Oh." The line on the other end sounded as if it had gone dead. Kurt couldn't even hear his father breathing.
"Dad? Are you still there?"
"What? Yeah."
Kurt leaned his head back against the headboard, a little harder than he meant to in his frustration, and winced, rubbing the spot that had banged the hardest. "I knew this was a bad idea. I wanted to wait to tell you. But I was scared you would be hurt."
"I…no, I'm glad you told me. Listen, kiddo. I gotta go. I'll um…I'll talk to you soon, okay?"
"But, Dad -"
"Early start tomorrow," he interrupted, "Love you." He hung up without waiting for an answer.
Kurt dropped the phone over the side of the bed and lifted his hands to cover his face. "I can't believe I did that. I was so stupid!" He felt Blaine's hand on his thigh and lifted his face a little to peer at him out of the corner of his eye. "I should have waited until I knew for sure."
Blaine rubbed his leg before moving to pull him into a hug. "Kurt, I have always been envious of the relationship and the bond you have with your father. Even to this day, even though my father and I are talking again, I have never respected or appreciated him the way you do your dad. Your dad is the example of everything any good parent wants to be for their kids. I think it's a true mark of how much you both mean to each other that you felt you could - and should tell him about this. It's a lot to take in, especially for your dad. Give him a little time. He'll come around."
Kurt shook his head. "I just hope he doesn't hate me, or think I'm some kind of freak."
"Oh, Kurt, honey," Blaine shook his head, "He would never think that. He loves you."
"I know. Do you think he's disappointed in me?"
Blaine didn't even hesitate, "Of course not! If anything, he's proud of you! It takes a lot of courage to do what you just did, and no matter how shocked or confused he is, he knows that much. I know your dad, and I know that something as important as being who you are would never make him disappointed in you. Just give him a little time to wrap his head around the idea, okay?"
Kurt nodded. "You always know just what to say to make me feel better."
Blaine squeezed his arms around Kurt's waist and kissed him gently. "I have to get up early for work tomorrow, we're going on a field trip," he said, unwrapping his arms and crawling under the covers. "But if you hurry up and get ready quick," he wiggled his eyebrows, "I might be able to squeeze in some lovin' before I fall asleep."
Kurt pushed himself up and started to get off the bed before he turned and swatted his lover playfully. "Blaine! You CANNOT rush a night time skin care routine."
Blaine shrugged and pushed his hands below the covers. "Suit yourself." He grinned and closed his eyes.
"Oh fine," Kurt groaned through his grin. "I'll be as fast as I can!"
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