i feel like a downer
so i've been struck with a case of the meloncholies. i was having a fantastic evening, laughing and having a grand ol' time, but now i'm just kind of glum. why? who the heck knows. maybe it's because i ran into the majority of the people who went to high school at the same time as me at the garden. seriously, the classes of 1999 and 2002 were out in major force. classes 2000 and 2001 were not adequately represented, i think 3 from each class. but then, we were always the slacker classes when it came to school spirit and such. maybe it's because i saw an old friend who was having drinks with her ex-high school boyfriend who was nothing but bad news bears for her. maybe it's because i'm mortally embarrased that lance actually thought it was a good idea to call his friend ty and tell him that he should call me. seriously embarrassing.
more likely than not, i am feeling glum because the craziness has finally slowed down to a point that i can sit and reflect about how sucky my life has been since thanksgiving break. seriously. i have not had a moment to slow down and meditate on the fact that not only did one of my old roommates die at the beginning of break, but the monday after thanksgiving my grandpa died. not that one needs to meditate upon those things, but one needs time to grieve, and i just straight up didn't have time for it. but now i do. and here it is, four days before christmas and i'm about as gloomy as they come.
and it just doesn't help to know that nathan is engaged. not that i'm jealous or even really that upset by it. it's just that he's the last guy who really made me feel "special." like he didn't see me as just another friend, one where i didn't feel like "one of the buddies" when we were together. it's just nice to know that someone is attracted to you sometimes. plus everyone likes to feel special.
okay, i don't even know why i'm putting all of this very personal stuff up on the internet for all to see, but i am nonetheless. are you happy that i posted conor? are you?
i hope everyone has a merry christmas. i'll try to work on my attitude so hopefully i will too.