(no subject)
What do you like most about yourself?
Nealy Ann Bowden
People find it hard to talk about what they like about themselves. It is really easy to stand in front of a mirror and say, “I look so fat.” , “ My hair is an awful colour.” or “This shirt looks bad.” It is a lot harder to stand in front of that same mirror and say, “I have nice eyes.” or “ I love my smile.” But why? When I’m asked what I like most about myself, it is not like I search my soul for something I like, and come up dry. I can think of things I enjoy about me, but after I think about them there is a hesitation, a sort of, “Should I let the world know I don’t hate me?” that arises within me, but why? I think it has something to do with ego. Everyone has an ego, the human ego is something that has been getting in mankind’s way since the beginning of time. It has caused wars, and caused lies, and caused hatred, and caused love.
A plethora of occurrences have been brought about just because of this one intangible idea, the idea of “I”. But ego in itself, and all the different ways it has affected mankind throughout history, is quite a different essay in itself. What makes it pertinent to this paper is that, in this case, it protrudes on my honesty. I know I am rambling, which is a rare occurrence for me, but what I am getting at is that in protest of the human ego, I am going to answer this question with complete honesty, something I find quite hard to do. I could easily sit here and list all of the things I hate about myself, and throw in one contrasting thing I like, but that was not the assignment, and an action like that would be some feeble attempt on my part to but my ego in a box, and protect myself from any hurtful label that honesty could earn me…but I digress, and now begin this assignment.
What I like about myself is that, in general, I try to be a good person. I don’t always succeed, and no one does, but at least I try, which is more than what some people can say for themselves. I like that I am not bitter, in a world where it is easy to become so. I like that I hate reality tv, with a passion. I like that I have grown more and more tired of movies and other blatantly boring, time consuming activities that reap no benefit in my real life. I like the fact that I am not like anyone else, and everyone else is not like me. I like the fact that I am being honest right now, it is remarkably refreshing.
I just recently stole a shit load of vote yes signs from around town, and I got caught. In about a half an hour I have to leave and meet up with the officer working on my case, I don’t know what will happen and I might get fined, or I might be put on parole, but most likely I will be executed… I’m a little bit scared, mainly because what the cop decides is my fate with be the determinant of how mad my mum will be, I believe, but I don’t really care… and I like that when I go to talk to him, I am going to be as honest as one can possibly be with the fuzz. Most of all, I like the fact that I know that if I could go back in time I’d do it all over again, I like that I am passionate about something and am not going to hinder that passion just because the Kennebunk police tell me I’m wrong… though next time I’ll probably redirect that passion in a way that does not get me charged with theft. Whatever, I like it. I like that I have let myself be scared and worried, and unconcerned all at the same time.
I like most of all that I can think and talk and write and read and learn. I like that I spend my time trying to figure things out, instead of living in that oblivious haze that I see a lot of people walking around in. I like that I can have a decent conversation with someone who’ll return the words… I love that I can think. I’m grateful that I’m cursed with an analytical mind, I think it makes things more fun.
So, you now know some of the thousands of things I like about myself, all of which balance out the thousands of things I hate. I don’t care if people call me cocky, or snobby, or full of myself, and maybe I am. But I really don’t care, I’m through sparing my ego the pain of another’s judgment, it isn’t important enough to be fake for.