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Notes Regarding a Reconstructed Marriage Ritual
recently, i've been reading Lady With a Mead Cup by Michael Enright. in it, he discusses (among other things) the similarities between the warband bond and the marriage ceremony. in the process, he notes several elements that were part of the marriage ritual among the Celtic and Germanic peoples. since the ritual is significantly different from the Christian-traditional one, i thought it might be worthwhile to compile some of those notes here.
1) The marriage ceremony takes place as a banquet or feasting. There may be more than one suitor present, though this is not a necessary condition. The Bride takes a cup of liquor (preferably wine or mead) and gives it to the man she wishes to be the Groom. He should take a sip from the cup (while she is still holding it), and touch her hand, at which point she will take a sip from the cup. Her giving the cup is her statement that she is choosing to marry that man; him touching her hand is his statement that he is choosing to marry her. This is also a very significant ritual element, involving ideas of Sovereignty, symbolized by the liquor.
2) Bride's family and friends now provide a Bride-price. This is the total of all the gifts they are giving to the couple. The Groom's family and friends can provide gifts as well, but these will not be called the "Bride-price". There is a ritual significance to this, of course, involving the transfer of Sovereignty.
3) The Groom now gives weapons to the Bride. These weapons may be merely symbolic (eg a miniature pocketknife) or they may be fully ready fighting tools. The symbolism here is of adoption. Traditionally, the wife would wear a small, non-functional knife as a symbol of this adoption.
4) The Groom's family (his father, if possible) gives to the Bride a key. This is symbolic of her appointment to the economic portion of the household. Originally, the key was to symbolize the wife's ability to open the chest containing the family's valuables, though the actual key carried was not functional. This key should be worn at all times by the wife, as much as she would wear the wedding ring.
5) Bride and Groom exchange rings. They kiss. They are married.
note that there is no need for clergy in this pattern. some states (such as Washington, where i live) require a person who the wedding couple recognize as having spiritual authority to marry them, others require a licensed clergyperson to marry them. i'm sure it would be a simple matter to include such a person in the wedding.
which brings us to the central point here. this is not intended as a prescription, per se, for a marriage ceremony (though it could be used as such), but rather as a template from which a marriage ceremony can be developed. some of the elements, for instance, are archaic and at odds with modern post-feminist sensibilities (for instance, why shouldn't the Groom be adopted, as well?). those concerns can be addressed to whatever extent the wedding couple prefers.
comments, as always, welcome. criticisms also welcome. i hope that this can serve as a jumping-off point to developing a ceremony template that is acceptable to CRs, covers the significant concerns that are unique to this religion, and is acceptable, as well, to the temporal authorities who control the legal process of marriage.
1) The marriage ceremony takes place as a banquet or feasting. There may be more than one suitor present, though this is not a necessary condition. The Bride takes a cup of liquor (preferably wine or mead) and gives it to the man she wishes to be the Groom. He should take a sip from the cup (while she is still holding it), and touch her hand, at which point she will take a sip from the cup. Her giving the cup is her statement that she is choosing to marry that man; him touching her hand is his statement that he is choosing to marry her. This is also a very significant ritual element, involving ideas of Sovereignty, symbolized by the liquor.
2) Bride's family and friends now provide a Bride-price. This is the total of all the gifts they are giving to the couple. The Groom's family and friends can provide gifts as well, but these will not be called the "Bride-price". There is a ritual significance to this, of course, involving the transfer of Sovereignty.
3) The Groom now gives weapons to the Bride. These weapons may be merely symbolic (eg a miniature pocketknife) or they may be fully ready fighting tools. The symbolism here is of adoption. Traditionally, the wife would wear a small, non-functional knife as a symbol of this adoption.
4) The Groom's family (his father, if possible) gives to the Bride a key. This is symbolic of her appointment to the economic portion of the household. Originally, the key was to symbolize the wife's ability to open the chest containing the family's valuables, though the actual key carried was not functional. This key should be worn at all times by the wife, as much as she would wear the wedding ring.
5) Bride and Groom exchange rings. They kiss. They are married.
note that there is no need for clergy in this pattern. some states (such as Washington, where i live) require a person who the wedding couple recognize as having spiritual authority to marry them, others require a licensed clergyperson to marry them. i'm sure it would be a simple matter to include such a person in the wedding.
which brings us to the central point here. this is not intended as a prescription, per se, for a marriage ceremony (though it could be used as such), but rather as a template from which a marriage ceremony can be developed. some of the elements, for instance, are archaic and at odds with modern post-feminist sensibilities (for instance, why shouldn't the Groom be adopted, as well?). those concerns can be addressed to whatever extent the wedding couple prefers.
comments, as always, welcome. criticisms also welcome. i hope that this can serve as a jumping-off point to developing a ceremony template that is acceptable to CRs, covers the significant concerns that are unique to this religion, and is acceptable, as well, to the temporal authorities who control the legal process of marriage.