untitled poem

Apr 27, 2006 21:54

I trust the red sun setting ( Read more... )

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Comments 5

mentaluprising April 28 2006, 03:17:53 UTC
I dunno, the last stanza doesn't really have any imagery so it comes off as sounding a bit trite to me. Also I don't like the word reliable in there. Seems to muddle things up.

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cradledalone April 28 2006, 03:39:38 UTC
seriously, be some sort of english teacher

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mentaluprising April 28 2006, 04:23:01 UTC
Man, you know I don't like kids.

Oh, and I don't not like the poem, just not my cup of tea.

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cradledalone April 28 2006, 16:41:44 UTC
that's cool, that's cool.

so what if you don't like kids, if you do your job you would still get paid.

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mrs12oz April 28 2006, 03:25:31 UTC
I like it.

this part is my favorite

on monday morning I look forward
fearlessly to friday's eve

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