Thanks. It took all of that "drama" to get you to say something to me. I think it would have been far worse to sit there and continue to ignore me...I hate waiting for some kind of response. I hate it, because I don't know what to think. I didn't know how else to get you to talk to me, than to throw some drama out there, to make you mad enough to respond. NOTHING ELSE WORKED. Yes, I like you. Yes, I think you are great, but I didn't know how to be around you after you had that one week where you wouldn't speak to anyone - because you seemed to go completely AWOL, even when you are around. So, yeah, maybe I resorted to childish behavior, but you still sat there and said nothing. I'm not going to cry over you - that's not me. I'm stronger than that. So, I'm glad I made it easy for you to hurt my feelings. And I'm sorry if I hurt yours
( ... )
Drama. I don't like it. The more I think about it - the more it seems futile and useless. So, basically I see only two options. We can either just not speak anymore. Or, we can try to just be somewhat "friends" - because adding "dating" to what we were - seemed to screw things up.. Because - I can't -right now- put myself in that situation to like you, only to wait until you figure stuff out. Being friends, and changing the whole concept of what we were - are- yeah, it sucks, from my perspective, but I'm glad you admitted the truth. I can't hate you for telling me that you just don't like me to a certain extent. I was always worried about hurting your feelings when it came to other guys - but if I don't have to think of you in that capacity, it may just be easier for me to be me
( ... )
I'm really not ready to respond to all this. I don't want to think about it anymore because it is all I think about, but I also want to get it resolved and be over it. Maybe you don't need time for some things, but I do. So if you want a reply right away, your not going to get it, deal with it.
I really wish you hadn't made this such a public thing though, what does it have anything to do with anyone else?
Re: Not ready...nobody_loves_uMarch 9 2005, 12:54:56 UTC
Take as long as you need to respond. I hate thinking about it too. I tried not to think about it as much as possible yesterday after I wrote the stuff.
I thought the only way to get you to talk to me - was to make it public, to say something as loud as possible, in whatever forum worked. I wasn't trying to bring everyone else into it. I told most people - to just ignore it - Because, this isn't their issue, and there isn't a side to take.
I do talk to my friends about things that bother me. I do ask their opinions. But, I never asked them to hate anyone or to say "Leslie, You are right." Because I know there is no right/wrong side to any of this. So I apologize publically - because I said everything else out there for everyone to read. I thought I needed to do at least that, for now.
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I really wish you hadn't made this such a public thing though, what does it have anything to do with anyone else?
-Ben
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I thought the only way to get you to talk to me - was to make it public, to say something as loud as possible, in whatever forum worked. I wasn't trying to bring everyone else into it. I told most people - to just ignore it - Because, this isn't their issue, and there isn't a side to take.
I do talk to my friends about things that bother me. I do ask their opinions. But, I never asked them to hate anyone or to say "Leslie, You are right." Because I know there is no right/wrong side to any of this.
So I apologize publically - because I said everything else out there for everyone to read.
I thought I needed to do at least that, for now.
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