A Strong Man (But The Wrong Man) [Taeyang/?]
Title: A Strong Man (But The Wrong Man)
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Pairing: Not telling, but it's Taeyang-centric.
Summary: A heartbreaking tale of unrequited love. ;o;
A/N: I think the most horrifying thing about this fic is that I did not. make up. the thing about body glitter. *hurk*
Ten million points if you get the title. ^^b
"... at least four times a week in addition to dance practice. Oh, and you should be eating mostly fresh fruit and vegetables at this point. No carbs."
Young Bae blinked and glanced at Dae Sung, who was smiling and nodding as he took notes in his Doraemon notebook. He didn't especially feel like giving up rice. And bread. Then again, if it got him to look like Master Hwang...
"So I'll see you tomorrow morning for training. Young Bae, can I talk to you for a minute?" Master Hwang asked, beckoning him over.
Young Bae nodded and stood up as Dae Sung picked up his things and left the room.
Master Hwang walked over, lifted up Young Bae's undershirt and started prodding his abs.
"... Um," Young Bae managed.
"Your arms are nice, but your abs need more work." He slid his hand higher before letting it drop back to his side, eyeing Young Bae thoughtfully. "You know, we could get a headstart and work out tonight, if you have time."
"Oh, um... sure," Young Bae replied.
Master Hwang smiled. "Great. See you tonight, then."
***
It had definitely been weird to work out with Master Hwang staring at him constantly, but at least he'd given him some useful advice.
He was wiping his face on a towel when Master Hwang tapped him on the shoulder. He was holding a camera. "Wanna stand over there for a sec?" He pointed to a corner and Young Bae obediently walked over and stood with his back to the wall, wondering what was happening.
"... Well? Come on, take off your shirt."
Maybe that was standard stuff for bodybuilders. That's what Young Bae told himself as his wifebeater hit the floor.
Master Hwang raised the camera. "Okay, flex your muscles."
"... Um, all of them?"
***
Ji Yong grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, kicked the door shut, took a sip and immediately choked on it as he burst out laughing.
Young Bae could guess what that was about. He rolled his eyes and focused on his reps.
"Why the hell is your picture on the fridge?!"
"Master Hwang said it'd be a good way to measure my progress," he muttered.
Ji Yong snickered. "You look like a deer in the headlights. Can I keep it?"
"Shut up!"
***
Young Bae woke up with something weird in his ear and Master Hwang's face inches from his own. He yelped and jerked away, horrified. The horror was only lessened slightly when Master Hwang blinked at him and held up the small thermometer that was quickly becoming very familiar to him. "I was just taking your temperature."
"... Why?!"
"It's too low. You should move more."
"I was napping!"
"Have you been eating everything I told you to eat?"
Young Bae groaned softly and squished his face against the arm of the couch. Then Master Hwang started rubbing his back soothingly, and he decided that working out was probably better than napping after all.
***
"It's weird how he doesn't take any pictures of me," Dae Sung remarked as he inspected the long row of neatly labeled polaroids.
"I know," Young Bae said miserably. "I think he... likes me or something."
"I think so too," Dae Sung replied.
"... What should I do?"
Dae Sung tilted his head. "Oh, I thought you liked him too."
"What?!"
***
YG's office was enormous and grey and empty and intimidating. Young Bae had always hated meeting him there. At least he didn't seem to be in a bad mood - he smiled at him as he sat back and crossed his legs. "Why did you want to talk to me?"
Young Bae fiddled with the hem of his hoodie. He felt like he was thirteen years old all over again. "Um. I was just thinking. Maybe I don't need to work out so much."
YG laughed. "What? Don't be silly, you look amazing~"
"Yes but. Master Hwang is too..." Too touchy. Too creepy. Too gay. Young Bae bit his lip. "... Uh, stern. I think."
That had been the wrong thing to say. YG got that "I'm so disappointed in you" look on his face. "Young Bae, I told you you'd have to work hard if you want to be successful. Master Hwang is just trying to help you."
Young Bae mentally smacked himself all the way to the gym.
***
"He needs more glitter," Master Hwang announced, grabbing the small container and brush from a confused-looking stylist.
Young Bae took a step back. Maybe he'd get lucky and they'd get their cue, like, now. "Uhh, it's okay, I think have to go--"
He grabbed Young Bae's arm firmly and pulled him back. "No, no, don't move." He started liberally applying the glitter to his chest and shoulders.
By the time he escaped (with sparkly nipples and a fresh reading of his body temperature), Ji Yong was laughing so hard he had to lean against him to stay upright as they made their way back to the stage. Young Bae silently hoped some of the glitter would rub off on him.
***
Young Bae made the mistake of making a face as he rolled his shoulders. Master Hwang immediately descended upon him and started prodding.
"Are you sore? Is it that muscle?"
"Uh, nnno, I just-- OW!"
"I'll give you a massage. Lie down."
"It doesn't... really hurt. Anymore."
"No, no, it feels really tight. Lie down."
As much as he hated the idea, Young Bae didn't see any way to escape. He lay down on his stomach and prayed for someone to come in as Master Hwang rubbed his shoulders, straddling him in a way Young Bae didn't even want to think about and inflicting about twenty different kinds of pain to him.
Min Suk opened the door and blinked down at them. "Oh, er, sorry." He took a step back and closed the door halfway. "Jae Wook wants to see you when you're... done, Young Bae."
The door closed again and Young Bae decided that he actually hadn't really wanted anyone to come in. He also didn't want to see Min Suk again. Ever.
***
"Why don't you just tell him you're straight?" Ji Yong suggested (on one of the rare occasions he'd stopped laughing long enough to actually discuss the situation).
"I tried! I keep talking about girls and stuff around him, he doesn't care."
"... Tell him you have a boyfriend." The corners of Ji Yong's mouth were twitching. Young Bae seriously considered punching him until he realized it actually wasn't a bad idea.
"Maybe. Who's gay around here?"
"I dunno. YG?"
"Ew!"
"Perry?"
"What?!"
"... Dude. Are you blind? Whatever, I can be your boyfriend."
"No way, that'd be weird."
"... Yeah, and Perry being your boyfriend wouldn't be weird or anything."
Young Bae sighed. Maybe he could just become an actor like he'd always wanted to.
***
Jae Wook suddenly stopped dancing and fished his cellphone out of his pocket. Whatever he read on it made him smile. "My date's gonna pick me up pretty soon. Think you've got that move down?"
Young Bae nodded, eyeing himself in the mirror. Something suddenly occured to him and he frowned at Jae Wook's reflection. "Hey! Is it a guy?"
"Yyy... N... Why?"
"You're gay!"
Jae Wook laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, all right. I--"
"Can you be my boyfriend?"
***
Young Bae felt a lot more relaxed during Big Bang's dance practice the next day. Master Hwang usually came by right afterwards to take his temperature and check... whatever it was that he checked when he put his hands all over him. This time, though, Young Bae had a plan.
It had taken a while to explain the gravity of the situation to Jae Wook, and even longer to convince the rest of Big Bang to be nice and play along (mostly because they hadn't been able to hear him over the gales of laughter from Ji Yong), but he was pretty sure it would work.
Master Hwang walked in at the usual hour and Young Bae nodded discreetly to Jae Wook, who made his way over to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, smiling. "Great job today."
Young Bae smiled back and raised his hands, then realized he had no idea what to do with them. He thought about it panickedly and finally put them on Jae Wook's (warm, sweaty) shoulders. He'd never tried being gay before. It was kind of horrifying.
... Less so than Master Hwang, though.
"Thanks. Um. We have a date tonight, right?" he asked loudly.
A weird, strangled sound came out of Ji Yong and he suddenly pulled on the drawstrings of his hood, tightening it over his face until only his nose was sticking out of it.
Jae Wook's eyes went bright but he managed not to lose the sweet smile. "Yup, we sure do. See you at nine o' clock, baby." And he thankfully went for a kiss on the cheek, which Young Bae could manage. Even though it was kind of gross (less so than Master Hwang, though).
He'd never seen Master Hwang look angry before, but there was no mistaking the glare he gave Jae Wook as he walked past him on his way out of the room.
Young Bae fidgeted. "Uhh... Are you going to take my temperature?"
Master Hwang eyed him. "... Yeah, I guess so." He walked over, stuck the thermometer into his ear for about half a second, then glanced at it. "'S fine."
"Oh."
The silence that followed was long, painfully awkward, and only broken by the soft rustle of Ji Yong curling himself into a ball on the floor.
"Well, I guess I'll go," Master Hwang finally said curtly before heading out.
"He must be sad," Dae Sung said thoughtfully once he'd left.
Young Bae tried to care. "Yeah. I'm gonna go have lunch." Maybe he'd even have, like, a bowl of rice. With bread. And pasta. Just to celebrate.
"What if he gets into a fight with Jae Wook?" TOP asked, grinning.
Taeyang froze with his hand on his backpack. "... You think he'd do that?"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"Ji, shut up."
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Pairing: Not telling, but it's Taeyang-centric.
Summary: A heartbreaking tale of unrequited love. ;o;
A/N: I think the most horrifying thing about this fic is that I did not. make up. the thing about body glitter. *hurk*
Ten million points if you get the title. ^^b
"... at least four times a week in addition to dance practice. Oh, and you should be eating mostly fresh fruit and vegetables at this point. No carbs."
Young Bae blinked and glanced at Dae Sung, who was smiling and nodding as he took notes in his Doraemon notebook. He didn't especially feel like giving up rice. And bread. Then again, if it got him to look like Master Hwang...
"So I'll see you tomorrow morning for training. Young Bae, can I talk to you for a minute?" Master Hwang asked, beckoning him over.
Young Bae nodded and stood up as Dae Sung picked up his things and left the room.
Master Hwang walked over, lifted up Young Bae's undershirt and started prodding his abs.
"... Um," Young Bae managed.
"Your arms are nice, but your abs need more work." He slid his hand higher before letting it drop back to his side, eyeing Young Bae thoughtfully. "You know, we could get a headstart and work out tonight, if you have time."
"Oh, um... sure," Young Bae replied.
Master Hwang smiled. "Great. See you tonight, then."
***
It had definitely been weird to work out with Master Hwang staring at him constantly, but at least he'd given him some useful advice.
He was wiping his face on a towel when Master Hwang tapped him on the shoulder. He was holding a camera. "Wanna stand over there for a sec?" He pointed to a corner and Young Bae obediently walked over and stood with his back to the wall, wondering what was happening.
"... Well? Come on, take off your shirt."
Maybe that was standard stuff for bodybuilders. That's what Young Bae told himself as his wifebeater hit the floor.
Master Hwang raised the camera. "Okay, flex your muscles."
"... Um, all of them?"
***
Ji Yong grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, kicked the door shut, took a sip and immediately choked on it as he burst out laughing.
Young Bae could guess what that was about. He rolled his eyes and focused on his reps.
"Why the hell is your picture on the fridge?!"
"Master Hwang said it'd be a good way to measure my progress," he muttered.
Ji Yong snickered. "You look like a deer in the headlights. Can I keep it?"
"Shut up!"
***
Young Bae woke up with something weird in his ear and Master Hwang's face inches from his own. He yelped and jerked away, horrified. The horror was only lessened slightly when Master Hwang blinked at him and held up the small thermometer that was quickly becoming very familiar to him. "I was just taking your temperature."
"... Why?!"
"It's too low. You should move more."
"I was napping!"
"Have you been eating everything I told you to eat?"
Young Bae groaned softly and squished his face against the arm of the couch. Then Master Hwang started rubbing his back soothingly, and he decided that working out was probably better than napping after all.
***
"It's weird how he doesn't take any pictures of me," Dae Sung remarked as he inspected the long row of neatly labeled polaroids.
"I know," Young Bae said miserably. "I think he... likes me or something."
"I think so too," Dae Sung replied.
"... What should I do?"
Dae Sung tilted his head. "Oh, I thought you liked him too."
"What?!"
***
YG's office was enormous and grey and empty and intimidating. Young Bae had always hated meeting him there. At least he didn't seem to be in a bad mood - he smiled at him as he sat back and crossed his legs. "Why did you want to talk to me?"
Young Bae fiddled with the hem of his hoodie. He felt like he was thirteen years old all over again. "Um. I was just thinking. Maybe I don't need to work out so much."
YG laughed. "What? Don't be silly, you look amazing~"
"Yes but. Master Hwang is too..." Too touchy. Too creepy. Too gay. Young Bae bit his lip. "... Uh, stern. I think."
That had been the wrong thing to say. YG got that "I'm so disappointed in you" look on his face. "Young Bae, I told you you'd have to work hard if you want to be successful. Master Hwang is just trying to help you."
Young Bae mentally smacked himself all the way to the gym.
***
"He needs more glitter," Master Hwang announced, grabbing the small container and brush from a confused-looking stylist.
Young Bae took a step back. Maybe he'd get lucky and they'd get their cue, like, now. "Uhh, it's okay, I think have to go--"
He grabbed Young Bae's arm firmly and pulled him back. "No, no, don't move." He started liberally applying the glitter to his chest and shoulders.
By the time he escaped (with sparkly nipples and a fresh reading of his body temperature), Ji Yong was laughing so hard he had to lean against him to stay upright as they made their way back to the stage. Young Bae silently hoped some of the glitter would rub off on him.
***
Young Bae made the mistake of making a face as he rolled his shoulders. Master Hwang immediately descended upon him and started prodding.
"Are you sore? Is it that muscle?"
"Uh, nnno, I just-- OW!"
"I'll give you a massage. Lie down."
"It doesn't... really hurt. Anymore."
"No, no, it feels really tight. Lie down."
As much as he hated the idea, Young Bae didn't see any way to escape. He lay down on his stomach and prayed for someone to come in as Master Hwang rubbed his shoulders, straddling him in a way Young Bae didn't even want to think about and inflicting about twenty different kinds of pain to him.
Min Suk opened the door and blinked down at them. "Oh, er, sorry." He took a step back and closed the door halfway. "Jae Wook wants to see you when you're... done, Young Bae."
The door closed again and Young Bae decided that he actually hadn't really wanted anyone to come in. He also didn't want to see Min Suk again. Ever.
***
"Why don't you just tell him you're straight?" Ji Yong suggested (on one of the rare occasions he'd stopped laughing long enough to actually discuss the situation).
"I tried! I keep talking about girls and stuff around him, he doesn't care."
"... Tell him you have a boyfriend." The corners of Ji Yong's mouth were twitching. Young Bae seriously considered punching him until he realized it actually wasn't a bad idea.
"Maybe. Who's gay around here?"
"I dunno. YG?"
"Ew!"
"Perry?"
"What?!"
"... Dude. Are you blind? Whatever, I can be your boyfriend."
"No way, that'd be weird."
"... Yeah, and Perry being your boyfriend wouldn't be weird or anything."
Young Bae sighed. Maybe he could just become an actor like he'd always wanted to.
***
Jae Wook suddenly stopped dancing and fished his cellphone out of his pocket. Whatever he read on it made him smile. "My date's gonna pick me up pretty soon. Think you've got that move down?"
Young Bae nodded, eyeing himself in the mirror. Something suddenly occured to him and he frowned at Jae Wook's reflection. "Hey! Is it a guy?"
"Yyy... N... Why?"
"You're gay!"
Jae Wook laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, all right. I--"
"Can you be my boyfriend?"
***
Young Bae felt a lot more relaxed during Big Bang's dance practice the next day. Master Hwang usually came by right afterwards to take his temperature and check... whatever it was that he checked when he put his hands all over him. This time, though, Young Bae had a plan.
It had taken a while to explain the gravity of the situation to Jae Wook, and even longer to convince the rest of Big Bang to be nice and play along (mostly because they hadn't been able to hear him over the gales of laughter from Ji Yong), but he was pretty sure it would work.
Master Hwang walked in at the usual hour and Young Bae nodded discreetly to Jae Wook, who made his way over to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, smiling. "Great job today."
Young Bae smiled back and raised his hands, then realized he had no idea what to do with them. He thought about it panickedly and finally put them on Jae Wook's (warm, sweaty) shoulders. He'd never tried being gay before. It was kind of horrifying.
... Less so than Master Hwang, though.
"Thanks. Um. We have a date tonight, right?" he asked loudly.
A weird, strangled sound came out of Ji Yong and he suddenly pulled on the drawstrings of his hood, tightening it over his face until only his nose was sticking out of it.
Jae Wook's eyes went bright but he managed not to lose the sweet smile. "Yup, we sure do. See you at nine o' clock, baby." And he thankfully went for a kiss on the cheek, which Young Bae could manage. Even though it was kind of gross (less so than Master Hwang, though).
He'd never seen Master Hwang look angry before, but there was no mistaking the glare he gave Jae Wook as he walked past him on his way out of the room.
Young Bae fidgeted. "Uhh... Are you going to take my temperature?"
Master Hwang eyed him. "... Yeah, I guess so." He walked over, stuck the thermometer into his ear for about half a second, then glanced at it. "'S fine."
"Oh."
The silence that followed was long, painfully awkward, and only broken by the soft rustle of Ji Yong curling himself into a ball on the floor.
"Well, I guess I'll go," Master Hwang finally said curtly before heading out.
"He must be sad," Dae Sung said thoughtfully once he'd left.
Young Bae tried to care. "Yeah. I'm gonna go have lunch." Maybe he'd even have, like, a bowl of rice. With bread. And pasta. Just to celebrate.
"What if he gets into a fight with Jae Wook?" TOP asked, grinning.
Taeyang froze with his hand on his backpack. "... You think he'd do that?"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"Ji, shut up."