Necessary Indiscretion (Fic, Nathan/Peter)
This is the second one.
Title: Necessary Indiscretion
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Nathan/Peter, Nathan/OC, Peter/OC
Warnings: Incest, Slash, Language, Sexual Content, Alcohol
Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes or its characters. I make no money from the writing of this story.
Spoilers: Season 1
Summary: The Petrelli brothers' relationship is suffering, but only one of them seems to notice.
Author's note: Let me know what you think, leave comments please, they are always appreciated. Enjoy.
“What are you doing sleeping at four in the afternoon, Peter?” Nathan Petrelli demanded, shaking his brother awake vigorously. “Here. Coffee. Wake the hell up.”
Peter Petrelli rubbed his eyes and grumbled, “I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks, and now you just show up whenever you feel like it. How the fuck did you get in here?”
“Window was open.”
“You flew in my fucking window?”
“No, just kidding. I have a copy of your key, remember? I let myself in. Profanity this early in the day? Jesus, Peter, you don’t even have a nice word to say to your favorite brother?” Nathan handed the mug of coffee to him.
“I thought you said it was four in the afternoon.”
Nathan laughed. “No, I‘m just kidding about that too. It’s noon. I brought your suit to the dry cleaners, they’ll have it ready by two. I cleaned your kitchen up a little, and brought you some groceries. You didn’t have anything edible in the fridge.”
“What--why did you bring my suit to the cleaners? It was already clean! You don’t have to clean up after me, I can take care of myself, Nate. If I wanted someone to take care of me, I’d be living at Mom’s.” Peter kicked off his blanket and sat up, and Nathan sat down next to him.
“Ma doesn’t pay your rent, Pete. I do. I brought your suit to the cleaners because I need you to look nice tonight. Be grateful I didn’t make you an appointment for the haircut I keep telling you to get. You’re such a grouch when you first wake up. Come here.”
Peter embraced Nathan and murmured, “Where are we going tonight?”
“Ma’s. She’s having a dinner party and half of New York’s invited. She wants us there early.”
Peter pulled away from him and rolled his eyes. “Oh, no. I’m not going. I’m not talking to her right now, Nate--“
“Oh, yes you are. Now drink your coffee, and then get in the shower, shave, get all pretty for me, whatever you have to do. I’ve been busy since seven o’clock this morning, now I finally get a chance to relax. At least for a little while.” Nathan turned the television on and flipped off his shoes, loosened his tie.
“Screw you, Nate. Stop fucking hitting on me, I’m not in the mood,“ Peter groaned, resting his head back against the wall. “Why do you have to do this to me?”
“Because our mother misses her younger son, that’s why. She hasn’t seen you much since Dad passed. Now get a move on, Pete.” Nathan patted Peter’s cheek, and implored, “Come on, do this for me.”
“All right, all right.” Peter stood up and stretched briefly. “But after the dinner party I’m going to the bar. I’m meeting someone there.” He set his empty mug down on the table in the kitchen and went into the bathroom.
Nathan felt a little twinge of jealousy, knowing Peter was meeting someone, but he was too impossibly exhausted to care that much, what with his kids, and taking care of Heidi, and all the time spent at the campaign headquarters. He settled himself into the warm place in the bed that Peter had vacated, and pulled the blanket up. Peter’s apartment was always somehow freezing cold. He flipped through a few channels, but nothing of any interest was on the TV, so he flicked off the power button on the remote control.
It didn’t take long for the white noise of the running shower to put Nathan to sleep.
***
Peter walked into his bedroom, toweling off his hair as he went, and stopped short when he saw Nathan sleeping in his bed, having totally forgotten he was there.
Nathan’s arm hung off the bed, and he was snoring a little, his mouth partly open. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was tired, Peter thought.
“Nate, wake up, come on, I just gotta get dressed and we can go to the cleaners.”
Nathan’s eyes opened halfway, and his brother stood there, wearing just a white bath towel around his waist. Nathan grumbled, “Five more minutes, Pete, gimme five more minutes.”
Peter said, “Okay, okay, five minutes. You’re drooling, by the way.”
Nathan teased, “That’s ‘cause you’re so goddamned sexy, Pete.”
Peter laughed, “Don’t you know it. Four minutes.”
Peter stepped into a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, put his sneakers on, and then shrugged into a blue hooded sweatshirt. He combed his hair in the mirror over the dresser, and went back into the kitchen. He turned off the coffeemaker, put the non-perishables that Nathan had brought for him into the pantry, and grabbed his keys off the kitchen table. “Okay, Nate, five minutes is up, let’s go.”
Nathan stood up reluctantly, stepped into his shoes, smoothed the wrinkles out of his slacks, and ran his fingers through his hair. He gave Peter his best Elect Me To Congress smile. “Okay, I’m ready. We’re gonna have a good time tonight, Pete. I can just tell.” He slung an arm around his brother’s shoulders and they left for the cleaners.
***
At the Chinese laundry, the diminutive woman behind the counter watched as Peter and Nathan came into the store, a little chime jingling as the door swung shut behind them. Nathan handed the woman the tickets, and noticed his brother had a worried look on his face.
“Jesus Christ, Nathan, I don’t have my credit card,” Peter swore, fumbling through his wallet.
“Don’t worry about it, Pete, I got it.” He slid his American Express card across the counter, thanked the woman and grabbed the four hangers, which contained two dress shirts and two suits, all Armani.
The two brothers returned to Peter’s apartment, where they began to dress for the evening. Peter rummaged through his closet for a couple of ties, and to his confusion, saw that his best suit was hanging in the closet, still in the plastic from the last time it had been cleaned. “Nathan, I told you my suit was clean, I never even wore…” If his suit was here, what did Nathan bring to the cleaners?
“You got me, you got me. I went to the liberty of buying you a new one. Now get dressed,” Nathan said, thrusting the suit into Peter’s hands. Peter didn’t take it.
“Jesus, Nate, you didn’t have to do that, this must have cost you a fortune!”
“Stop complaining, Peter, and put it on, see how it looks. Anything for my favorite little brother.”
Peter scoffed, “I’ll bet you took my credit card too, you sneaky bastard.”
Nathan laughed as he fanned two slim plastic cards between his fingers. “Both of them. Save your money, Peter. I have plenty.”
Peter tried to keep a straight face as he said, stripping down to his underwear, “Why are you making me feel like I’m a cheap whore, Nate?” He couldn’t finish the sentence without dissolving into peals of laughter.
Nathan started laughing too. “A ‘cheap whore’? Here, put the damn thing on before I change my mind, you ass.” Peter tossed him a tie, and Nathan handed him the suit and shirt.
When Peter finished dressing, he spun around in a circle and asked, “All right, how do I look?”
Nathan debated whether he should answer that honestly. I’d like to tear it off you right now, you look so good. No, probably not. “Stunning, Pete.”
“I bet you would,” Peter said, putting on his cufflinks.
“Fuck you, stop listening to me think.”
“Sorry, Nate, couldn’t help it, you virtually thought it at me. Okay, ready to go?” Peter swiped the comb through his hair, watched Nathan watching him in the mirror, a covetous smirk on his face. “Stop it, Nathan. Seriously. I don’t want to have to sit through Mom’s dinner with a hard-on, okay?”
“All right, all right, I’ll quit, for now. But you do look good. Fits perfectly.” He slapped Peter affectionately on his ass.
Peter took Nathan in a close embrace. “Thanks. Thank you for the gift,” Peter whispered into Nathan’s ear. He then gave Nathan a gentle kiss on the side of the neck.
***
During the drive, Nathan wondered when it had become like this between him and Peter. Such easy flirtation now. Probably when Peter was first able to read minds; Nathan couldn’t hide anything from him after that. He wondered also when he’d given up the self-loathing and guilt that came from a forbidden sexual relationship with his brother. Nathan loved his wife, loved women, would never even think to look at another man like that. But with Peter, none of the rules applied. When Nathan would think of the things they’d done with each other, the fierceness of their emotional love, the tenderness of their physical love, he would feel that he was somehow abusing that love, taking advantage of having the undying adoration of his little brother. Now that he accepted it, and he knew that Peter enjoyed it just as much as he did, it had become just something they did. Their little secret. Peter had never seemed to feel guilty about it; in fact, Nathan suspected Peter loved him more because of it. The one difference though, Nathan thought, was that Peter could control himself a lot more easily. He was never jealous of Heidi, and he didn’t eye-fuck Nathan across the table at important functions.
“And neither should you, Nate. Mom already has her suspicions. She noticed one night when we stayed over that I wasn’t in the guest room at two o’clock in the morning.”
“Damn it, Peter! Get the hell out of my head and let me drive!”
Peter chuckled and they drove the rest of the way to their mother’s house in silence. Heidi and the kids were already there; Angela Petrelli had arranged for a driver to pick them up earlier in the afternoon, so that Nathan could get Peter.
Nathan pulled up to the house. The sun was starting to go down, and the house of his and Peter’s childhood glowed with lambent light from every window. The hustle and bustle of the party guests and soft music was audible even from the driveway. Nathan parked in the last empty space in the garage. The brothers exited the car, and Nathan looked over at Peter, who had a look of dread on his face. “What’s the matter, Peter?”
“Nothing. Nothing, I’m fine.”
Nathan placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders, eliciting a shaky sigh from the younger man. “You sure don’t look fine, Pete. You’re really tense. Maybe you’ll feel better after a few drinks. What do you think?”
“Okay. Sorry.”
Nathan pressed his fingers into his brother’s shoulder muscles a few times, and instantly felt him relax from the touch. “All right, give me a smile, Pete, let’s go.”
Peter did as his brother asked, and they walked up to the house, where Angela Petrelli, matriarch extraordinaire, could be seen standing in the open doorway holding a glass of red wine. She looked polished and regal, wearing a burgundy evening gown, a wrap made of some sort of dark brown fur around her shoulders, and pearls at her ears and throat. Her chestnut hair was styled exquisitely, pearl-tipped combs holding it all in place.
“Hello, Nathan. I thought I asked you to get here early. Never mind, never mind, I’m elated that you’re both here. Peter, you look marvelous! Come and give your mother a hug.” Nathan took the glass of wine from her so she could encircle her younger son in her arms.
“Missed you, Mom,” Peter said, kissing her cheek, smelling the sweet perfume that was her signature scent. His heart ached a little, to think he hadn’t wanted to see her; she was the only one he had left, besides Nathan. “You look beautiful, Mom. Like always.”
“Thank you, dear. I’ve missed you too, Peter. Really. Now come inside, I’ve got plenty of people for you to meet, and your sister-in-law and your nephews want to say hello to you.”
Peter hoped he sounded sincere enough when he said, “Can’t wait, Mom.”
Angela took both her sons by their waists and led them into the party.
***
After an hour of meet-and-greet, Peter was growing tired of smiling so much at these people he couldn’t care less about, and would probably never see again. He excused himself and went out on the balcony for some air; he was feeling a little claustrophobic, and a little drunk. He’d already gone through four glasses of wine in that hour, not wanting to drink anything harder than that and risk his mother’s wrath. He noticed during his wanderings that Nathan had barely touched a drop.
Yeah, yeah, gotta make a good impression, Nate, so they’ll vote for you. Look at that perfect marriage you have, Nathan, the perfect family image that you present. Definitely wouldn’t get elected if they knew that you spent quality time in your brother’s bed, now would you? But that’s the Petrelli way, isn’t it, deep dark secrets, skeletons in the closet? Dad’s bullshit with Linderman had you fucked before you even started this whole thing. Your ‘suicidal brother’ almost ruined it for you too. It’s not gonna work, Nathan, no one is fooled.
Peter bit his knuckles so that he wouldn’t give in to the wave of jealous sadness that almost overtook him. He thinks I don’t get jealous. I’m not jealous of Heidi, Nate. She’s family now. I’m just so sick of having to share you with everyone else.
“Peter? Peter Petrelli?” a soft, shy female voice said behind him.
Peter turned around, hoping the tears wouldn’t show in his eyes. “Yes?”
“Hello, do you remember me? I was in your graduating class in high school. Amanda Patterson?”
Peter eyed her, and realized he knew her from somewhere else, not just from school. He said, “Yes, I remember you, you used to sit in front of me in almost every class. I’ve seen you. You volunteer for my brother’s campaign. How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been just great! I recently finished my Master’s degree, I’m married, and I have a child, she’s a year old. How about you?”
Peter opened his mouth to speak, but it seemed that Amanda’s husband was beckoning her back to the party. “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s Steven, can’t keep him waiting. Your brother is going to make a wonderful Congressman, I just wanted to tell you that he has my vote.”
Peter felt nauseated.
It’s always about Nathan. To think that she was coming over to actually talk to me.
“Okay, well, nice to see you, Amanda. Enjoy the party, and I’ll be sure to pass along the message.”
Peter sighed. Not even including the terminally ill patients he cared for in his chosen profession as a hospice nurse, people seemed to drift in and out of his life like snow that fell when it wasn’t really cold enough to stick. Each snowflake carrying with it a promise, to whitewash the world, blanket the ugliness and painful reality of the city below, only to melt before even touching the ground.
The only person who stayed was Nathan, and even their relationship seemed to be suffering the ill effects of Nathan’s pursuit of power.
“Peter, what are you doing? Why are you being so antisocial?” Nathan’s voice was right in his ear, that low whisper that when used with other words could drive him crazy. There was too much anger building in him now to even think about that. Nathan was wrong. Peter did feel guilty. For letting his brother do whatever he wanted to him.
What about what I want, Nate? Doesn’t fit in with your plans, does it? What he really wanted to do was turn around and punch Nathan right in the mouth. This is why we do what we do, Nathan. Because you need to own me. To control me. You need to keep me trapped right under your finger. You need to keep me quiet.
Nathan placed a hand on the back of Peter’s neck and said, “I know it’s hard to smile and pretend that you even give a shit about half these people. Just a few more hours, all right? For me?”
Just keep your mouth shut and come back into the party. Don’t fuck this up for me, Peter.
Peter wished he hadn’t done it, that he hadn’t pulled those thoughts from his brother’s mind. Okay, that’s it.
Peter whirled around, nearly stumbling over his brother’s feet he was standing so close. Peter stared into his brother’s eyes, those eyes that were the same exact color as his own, eyes that were pleading silently for Peter not to lose his composure. Too late, Nathan.
“It’s always for you! Everything I do is for you! Goddamn it--”
Nathan’s eyes darkened, and he took Peter by the front of his suit jacket. Nathan threatened, “Whatever you say next, Pete, I’m warning you. Lower…your…voice.”
Peter slapped Nathan’s hands away and shoved. Nathan staggered back, but Peter hadn’t even laid a hand on him. “Back the hell off me, Nathan, and don’t ever touch me again. This is over. You’re sick. You don’t care about me. You care about you. Manipulating everything around you, making your little world work out just the way you want it. Just like Dad. I’m not gonna let you do that to me anymore, Nate.”
“Pete--”
“No. I’m done. Have a good time by yourself. It’s all that matters to you anyway.” Peter walked past him, planting a hard shoulder in to his brother’s as he passed, inadvertently knocking Nathan’s glass out of his hand. The glass smashed on the floor of the balcony with such force that a small shard flew back and hit Nathan in the face. Nathan swore.
Angela Petrelli had heard Peter shouting, and the glass breaking, and she ran outside to see what had happened. Nathan wiped a smear of blood from under his eye, and Angela asked, “What has Peter done? I knew he was drinking too much. Did he hit you?”
“Nothing, Ma. I’m fine. I dropped my glass and a piece got me.” Not to mention that Peter pushed me without even touching me. What the hell is happening to him? Christ, Pete, if you’re listening, I’m sorry.
Angela clicked her tongue. “You were right, Nathan. I should have never had you force Peter to come. He ruins everything.”
“No, Ma, don’t blame him. It isn’t his fault. It’s mine. Did you see where he went?”
“He went upstairs, Nathan. Don’t go after him. Leave him alone. He is a liability to everything that you’ve worked for. I’ll find him, and tell him to leave. You just try to enjoy the rest of the party, dear.” Angela pressed a cocktail napkin to Nathan’s cut to stop the bleeding.
Nathan pushed her hand away gently and kissed his mother’s cheek. “You don’t have to do that, Ma, I’m fine. I’ve got to go talk to him. Everything he said, goddamn it, he’s right.”
Angela sighed. “All right, but if he gets out of line again, you make him leave. I won’t have him make this family look any worse than he already has. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, Ma. I understand.” Nathan went back inside, and tried not to make eye contact with the onlookers who were craning their necks, trying to see what had happened. He made it to the stairs, and took them two at a time. Nathan hoped Peter was listening to him now.
Peter was his brother. How could Nathan have been so naïve, so ignorant, to think that Peter was just okay with everything? How could Nathan care so much about everyone else and ignore the one person who loved him more than anything?
He pulled on the doorknob of the room that had been Peter’s during his childhood, but the knob wouldn’t turn. There were no locks on these doors. Did he jam a chair underneath it or something? Ma would kill him for using her antique furniture like that.
“Pete, it’s me. Let me in.”
He heard Peter sigh deeply. “I know you’re there, Nathan. Leave me alone. I told you. I’m done.” Peter’s voice was no longer angry. Just hurt.
“Pete, please, I want to tell you I’m sorry. I’ve been treating you like shit. I know that. Open the door, Pete, I want to fix this.”
“You can’t.”
Silence. Then the sound of Peter choking back a sob. Oh, Pete, don’t do that. Don’t sit in there by yourself. Please let me in. You know I love you, Peter.
Nathan was leaning on the door, his hand still putting force on the knob, and the doorknob abruptly gave. The door swung open. Nathan fell through the doorway, but he stopped in mid-air before he hit the floor.
“Look what I can do now, Nate.” Peter lowered his outstretched hand, and settled Nathan down on the thick carpeting.
“That’s how you pushed me before, when we were outside? And the door? How did you--”
“I don’t know, Nate. It’s a new thing. Like the flying, and the mind reading, and the healing.”
“That’s really something, Pete. What do they call that? Telekinesis, right?”
“Yeah.” Peter wiped his face with his hand, and looked at Nathan. Nathan couldn’t bear to see that hollow, lost look in his brother’s eyes.
“Look, I’m sorry about all this, Pete.” Nathan got to his feet, crossed the room, and sat down next to his brother. “This whole election, this crazy stuff you can do, that I can do…it’s hard for me. You’re my brother, Pete, and I’ve been putting you last. You don’t deserve that. You don’t.”
Peter saw the blood on Nathan’s face, and he said, “Oh, shit, Nathan, you’re bleeding. Is that my fault?”
“Yeah, when the glass broke a piece hit me in the face. But it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I forgive you. But, do you forgive me?”
“Nate…just let it go for now, all right?”
Nathan knew that meant, No, I don’t forgive you, not before you prove to me why I should.
“Let’s go back to the party, have dinner, make Ma happy. After that, we can go wherever it is you wanted to go. All right? Just you and me.”
“Nathan, I’m meeting someone there, don’t you remember? Just go home with Heidi and the kids. I’ll go by myself.”
“A girl?”
“Yeah.”
“Good for you, Pete. Who is she, what’s she like?”
“She’s…a woman I met. You don’t know her. Shit, I don’t even know her. But she’s beautiful, and she’s smart. An elementary school teacher. I’d like to see what happens. Maybe someone normal like her will make me feel normal, for once.”
“Yeah, Pete, maybe you’re right. Come on, give me a hug.”
Peter leaned into Nathan’s arms, and rested his head on Nathan’s shoulder.
“Let’s go back downstairs, they’re gonna be serving dinner soon. Ma will be royally pissed if we don’t get down there.”
Nathan and Peter descended the staircase, Nathan’s arm still around Peter’s shoulders, and met with their mother, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Are you going to act your age now, Peter?” she asked, her lips tightening into a stern look of disapproval.
“Yeah, Mom, everything’s fine.” Peter gave his mother a totally fake, placating smile. “What are we having, anyway?”
“Don’t think you’re getting away with fighting with your brother at my dinner party, Peter,” Angela countered, with her own conciliatory smile, equally fake. “Get in there and sit.”
“Ma, he’s fine. Right, Pete?” Nathan asserted.
“Yes, Mom, I promise, no more fighting,” Peter said.
Angela patted Peter’s cheek condescendingly, and tucked a stray strand of his hair back into place. “Don’t touch another drop of alcohol in my house tonight, Peter, do you understand?”
“Ma!” Nathan exclaimed. “Would you give him a break?”
Angela fired a look of scorn at her elder son. “Of course. Go and sit down.”
***
After dinner, Peter, Angela, Nathan, and Heidi sat with the two Petrelli children, listening to tales of school, and sports, and puppy love. Angela kept an eye on her sons, and disapprovingly watched as Nathan started drinking more heavily. Peter had obeyed her demand and was drinking water. The two of them seemed to be getting along, though, so Angela didn’t worry about it too much. After another hour, the guests began to depart, and the Petrelli family thanked them all for coming with the usual pleasantries, air kisses and handshakes.
After the last guest had left, Angela shut the door, took Peter by the arm, and left Heidi, Nathan, and their children in the front room. Nathan said, “All right, boys, time for bed. Go on upstairs and wash up, brush your teeth. You’re staying here at Grandma’s tonight.”
The boys obediently clamored up the stairs, leaving Nathan and Heidi in blessed silence. “Everything all right?” Heidi asked, taking Nathan’s hand. “Angela told me what happened outside earlier.”
Nathan pulled his hand back sharply. “My God, Heidi, why does everyone in this family know everything the minute it happens? Peter and I had a little disagreement, that’s all, and it’s between me and Pete, all right?” His words came out a bit louder and a bit more aggressively than he had intended.
“Nathan, what is wrong with you? Calm down, please,” Heidi said. “I’m very tired, honey. It’s been a long day. I think you’ve had too much to drink tonight. Make that one your last, and then let’s go to bed.”
“For Christ’s sake, Heidi, I’m fine. You can go to bed if you like, I’m not tired.” Nathan blew out a forceful sigh, turned his back to her, and refilled his glass.
“Nathan, I’m serious. That’s really enough, don’t you think? Nathan? Are you even listening to me? Talk to me. Please.”
Nathan turned around and used incredible restraint to keep from yelling. “Goddamnit, Heidi! I’m not going to tell you again, it’s no one’s business but mine and my brother’s! That’s it, I’m leaving.”
Heidi began to cry. “Don’t you dare drive drunk, Nathan!”
Nathan stormed out of the front room, leaving Heidi alone with her tears.
He went into the kitchen, where Angela and Peter were talking softly. He clamped a hand on Peter’s shoulder and said, “You ready to get the hell out of here?”
“Where do you think you’re going, Nathan, as inebriated as you are?” Angela demanded, getting to her feet and blocking Nathan’s exit.
“Out. Peter, let’s go.”
Peter took Nathan by the arm and stepped between him and his mother. “It’s okay, I’ll drive, Mom. I’ll make sure he’s all right.”
Angela’s anger was palpable. “Don’t come back here tonight with that attitude, Nathan. Go home, or stay with your brother, and sleep it off, I don’t care what you do. Go. Get out of my house.”
Peter nearly had to drag Nathan out of the house to prevent him from going off on their mother.
Peter guided Nathan to his car, fished the keys out of Nathan’s jacket pocket, and opened the door on the passenger side.
“Shit, Nate, what was that? Heidi was crying, you pissed Mom off big time. Are you going to be all right, Nate? I can cancel my plans and take you home, if you want.”
“No, I don’t want to ruin your night, Pete. I need to sit down, clear my head.” Nathan was leaning heavily on him, sweating and pale, and Peter had drank enough times with him to know what that meant.
“Okay, get in the car, then. You’re not gonna be sick, are you?” Peter asked gently.
“Yeah, if I don’t sit right now I will, and it’s gonna be all over your shoes,” Nathan laughed weakly.
“Very funny. Come on, there you go,” Peter said, easing his brother into the car.
Peter turned the key in the ignition and flicked on the radio, and watched his brother until his color returned. “You’re okay now?”
“Yeah, I’m fine now. Thanks. You’re a better brother to me than I ever am to you. I don’t deserve you.”
Peter said, “Yeah, well, too bad, you’re stuck with me. The bar’s not too far from here. But promise me you’ll go easy for the rest of the night, Nate.”
Nathan held up his hand and said, “Scout’s honor.”
***
Half an hour later, Peter and Nathan walked into the bar, a classy, upscale place which boasted a cherry wood bar counter, private tables, and soft lighting.
Nathan was back to feeling like himself, and he asked, “Is your special lady friend here yet?”
“No, I don’t see her. We are about fifteen minutes early, though,” Peter answered.
“Go get us a table, and I’ll get us drinks.”
“All right. Go easy, Nate, please?”
“Yes, I will. Maybe,” he said, winking conspiratorially.
When Nathan returned with their drinks, Peter was nowhere to be seen. “Good luck, Pete.” He raised his glass in a lonely toast.
Fifteen minutes later, Nathan was finishing the drink meant for his brother, and Peter slid into the seat across from him, placed a hand over his. “Hey. You doing okay, Nate?”
“Come on, Pete, you don’t have to fawn over me like I’m a patient,” Nathan said, covering Peter’s hand with his own.
“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. Just a little worried about you, that’s all. Hey, come on over and sit with me.”
“I’ll just stay right here. I don’t want to intrude on your evening, Peter.”
“Oh, trust me, you won’t be intruding. The schoolteacher, you see her, right over there?” Peter nodded his head in the direction from which he had come.
Nathan glanced over surreptitiously, and said, “Unless I’m imagining things, there are two of her.”
“Twins. She said she had a sister, but I didn’t know they were twins. And I didn’t know she was bringing her.”
Nathan gave Peter a dismayed look, but he couldn’t hold it, and he started to laugh. “That’s a really nice thought, Pete, always thinking about me, always trying to be fair. One for you, one for me. But they’re all yours, you little devil.”
“I’m not telling you to cheat on your wife, Nathan, I’m just saying sit down, let’s talk to them, have a few drinks. You’re not hurting anyone.”
Nathan sighed in defeat. Peter had a point; just because he decided to sit in a bar with his brother and a pair of beautiful blue-eyed, red-headed twins didn’t mean he loved Heidi any less or was any less faithful to her. “Okay, okay. Never knew you had such good taste, Pete.” Peter went back to the bar, said a few words, and then beckoned him over. The two women looked expectantly at him.
Nathan smiled and said, “Hello, ladies.”
The two women were in fact twins, identical, strikingly beautiful. Natural, shoulder length auburn hair, slightly rounded faces, bright blue eyes. Both wore a different colored version of the same dress, one in midnight blue, one in emerald green. Both had an impressive selection of platinum and diamonds on their ears, wrists, and neck, but there were no rings on either of them. Single ladies. Nathan’s wedding ring seemed to burn on the third finger of his left hand.
The woman sitting to the left side jumped off her chair, and her mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh, my God, this is your brother, Peter? Stephanie, this is Nathan Petrelli! The sexy man from the billboards. He’s running for Congress.”
Nathan smiled, and said graciously, “Let’s not make a big deal out of that, all right? Tonight I’m just a regular guy out for a drink with my brother.”
“Absolutely. Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Petrelli.”
“Call me Nathan, please. And you are?”
“My name is Allison, and this is my sister, Stephanie.” The sisters took turns shaking Nathan’s hand, and Peter could see they were both enamored. He looked despondently down into his drink, whiskey this time; Mom wasn’t around to yell at him. Stephanie turned to Peter after a moment, realizing they were leaving him out. She bent closer to him so she could whisper in his ear.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m not going to forget that I met you first. Politicians aren’t my type, anyway.” She placed her hand high on Peter’s thigh and rubbed gently. “So, what do you do for a living, Peter?”
“If I tell you, you’re going to laugh,” Peter said, smiling shyly.
“Oh, no, I won’t. Why, are you a lawyer too? I think it’s sweet that brothers would choose the same profession.”
Peter laughed a little too loudly, a little too sarcastically, still smarting at the way Nathan had acted earlier in the evening.
Calm down, he apologized to you. Don’t take it out on her, he chastised himself. Peter smiled and finished the last sip in his glass. “Now seriously, do I look like a lawyer to you?”
Stephanie scrutinized Peter for a moment, and her hand moved sideways, now resting on the inner part of Peter’s thigh. “No, not a lawyer. Are you in hospitality maybe? Or financial services?”
Peter laid his hand over Stephanie’s, and said, “No, none of those. I’m a nurse.”
“Oh, very nice. I should have realized you were in that kind of work. You seem like a very caring person. Not to mention, gorgeous.” Stephanie ran her free hand through Peter’s dark, longish hair.
“Well, thank you very much. May I get you another drink?”
“Absolutely.”
Peter summoned the bartender, and Stephanie continued, “I’m a teacher, like I told you, and so is my sister. She teaches fourth grade, and I teach seventh. It kind of runs in my family.”
“Yeah, I know what that’s like,” Peter mused.
Peter opened his wallet and slapped some money on the counter, but the bartender pushed it back towards him. “It’s all taken care of, Mr. Petrelli.”
Nathan must have started a tab, without him even knowing.
Out of the corner of his eye, Peter kept a close watch on Nathan while he talked with Stephanie. Nathan and Allison were having a light conversation about what else, politics. He saw that Nathan kept his left hand on top of the bar counter, his wedding ring prominent, and when Allison got too close to him, Nathan made it amiably clear that it was an invasion of his personal space.
As the evening progressed however, the more Nathan drank, the less he minded. When Peter saw Allison kiss Nathan, he decided to intervene. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, pretending it had been vibrating. “Hello? Oh, hold on. One second. Nathan, it’s for you.”
Nathan gave his brother a sideways glance and Peter could see in his eyes that Nathan had drank a lot more than Peter had been keeping track of. “Why would anyone call your phone for me, Pete? I--” He noticed the look on Peter’s face and he said, “Oh, okay. Ladies, excuse me a minute, please.”
The two brothers crossed the room, found a low-lit corner, and Peter handed him the phone. Nathan made the motions of taking the ‘call’. Flipping the phone closed, he asked, “What’s the problem?”
Peter leaned into him, and said, “You’re making out with her right in the bar. Have you forgotten that people know you and they know you’re married? If you want to sleep with her, we have to get out of here.”
Nathan laughed. “Who says I want to sleep with her, Pete? I’ve been after you all night.” He squeezed Peter’s bottom playfully.
Peter gave him a stern look, half-serious, half-kidding. “Yes, I know, but come on, Nate. I know what you’re going to do, and it’s not up to me to make your decisions for you. I’m just gonna look out for you. We are not taking them back to my apartment.”
“No, we should take them out to the island, Pete. Your apartment isn’t exactly what we’d call…luxurious.”
“What? Do you hear yourself right now, Nathan? There is no way we could do that, and even if we could, how in hell would we get there? What about Heidi and the kids?”
“They’re staying at Ma’s tonight.”
“No, no, no! If you’re going to do this, which I know you are, then we have to get a hotel room, all right? We’re both too drunk to drive, you especially. We can take the train and pick up your car tomorrow morning. Okay?”
“Okay, Peter, okay. You can have them both, though, cause I’m not gonna sleep with her. I’ll watch.” Nathan winked at his brother and pinched him again.
“Don’t, Nathan, we’re in public.”
“No one can see what I’m doing,” Nathan whispered, sliding his hand down the front of Peter’s slacks. Peter drew in a sharp breath. It simultaneously thrilled him and worried him when Nathan did things like this in places where they could possibly be seen. Nathan was usually very careful, but still.
“Not to mention, they’re looking at us. Get your hands off me for a second, will you?”
“Sorry, you’re right. But they’re going to be all over you later, I promise.”
No, they won’t. Not anymore, Nate. Told you I was done.
Peter decided that he wouldn’t remind him about that certain point right this second, not with Nathan so intoxicated. “All right, Nathan, I’ll hold you to it. But let’s figure out what we’re doing first.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll slow down on the liquor too, I’m being a jackass.”
“Glad you noticed. Now come on, Casanova.”
***
Peter and Nathan Petrelli rejoined the ladies at the bar, and Stephanie remarked, “Oh, good. We were starting to think that pressing business had pulled you away from us for the rest of the night.”
“No, no, everything’s just fine. No pressing business in the world right now could tear me away. Now where were we?” Nathan asked, sliding back into his seat. Peter watched as Allison put a hand on Nathan’s thigh, much like Stephanie had done to him, and he knew Nathan was going to sleep with her.
Not that he liked the idea of Nathan cheating on Heidi, but Peter would prefer it if he did. A bitter thought struck him. What, and Nathan sleeping with me, that doesn’t qualify as cheating? Inevitably, Peter knew, it was going to be extremely difficult not giving in to Nathan; he could be quite persuasive in order to get what he wanted. It was going to kill Peter to end what they had. But it had to be that way. What normal brothers did things like that? Yeah, and the Petrellis are normal.
“Peter, are you all right?” Stephanie’s voice broke his train of thought.
“What? Oh. Yes, I’m fine. Now, you were telling me about--about--” Peter could not for the life of him remember what they’d been talking about before he’d left the bar with Nathan. “I’m sorry, Stephanie,” he sighed, swirling the ice in his newly filled drink.
“It’s all right, I know you’re not ignoring me. You seem worried about your brother. I see you looking over at him every once in a while. If you’re worried about Allison saying anything, don’t. We’re very discreet about our sex lives.”
Peter was stunned at her bluntness, and without thinking, said, “Okay. Yeah. That’s good.”
What the hell did I just say?
“Oh, my God--I’m--I’m sorry. I apologize. That is not at all what I was worried about.”
Stephanie laughed, and said, “Sure you are. It’s all right. Nathan Petrelli’s reputation is safe with us.“ She leaned in and gave Peter a very chaste kiss.
Nathan turned to his brother and said, “All right, are we ready to get out of here, Peter? Stephanie, would you like to continue this elsewhere?”
“What about me?” Allison asked coyly.
“Oh, I thought you’d be up and halfway out the door by now, Allison,” he said, standing up and gallantly holding up Allison’s jacket so she could slip into it.
“One minute, and then we can go. I just want to tip the bartender,” Nathan said, reaching into his inside pocket.
As Peter watched Nathan walk over to the bartender, he got a very bad feeling about where this was all headed, and he suddenly wanted to make some excuse, anything, so that he could get himself and his brother out of this situation. Nothing came to mind.
***
Peter and Nathan sat side by side on the neatly made hotel bed, feeling much like sixteen-year-old teenagers watching their very first porn movie as Allison and Stephanie started kissing each other and undressing each other.
Nathan leaned into Peter‘s shoulder and whispered jokingly, “Oh, my God, Peter, where did you find these women? They’re really not schoolteachers, are they?”
“I thought they were,” Peter laughed nervously, and started fidgeting with the crotch of his dress pants. They had become uncomfortably tight, partially because of the sisters teasing each other with their tongues, partially his brother’s hand gently massaging his back, his movement unnoticeable under Peter’s shirt.
Nathan himself was hard as a rock. Nathan wanted to throw the girls out of the hotel room, slam the door shut, and make Peter’s body quiver underneath his hands. He didn’t want to have sex with strange women; he wanted the familiar, he wanted his brother. Peter seemed a little unreceptive at the moment, though. He leaned over and gave Peter a few soft kisses on his neck, and noticed that his brother was downright fondling himself through his pants. He whispered into Peter’s ear, cupping his hand around Peter’s erection, “I want to see you fuck those girls until they cry, and then I’m gonna do it to you.” Peter pushed Nathan’s hand away and gave him a warning look.
“Look, Steph, you’ve got the younger one about to come in his pants,” Allison snickered.
Peter objected breathlessly, “I’m not that young.”
Nathan continued to trail his lips across Peter’s neck, and Peter tried desperately not to make a sound as Nathan’s teeth tugged gently at his skin. While Stephanie hadn’t noticed, Allison had seen the whole exchange. She said, “That is just so sweet, Nathan, kissing your brother. I can see why. He’s very pretty. You guys are just as naughty as we are,” Allison taunted, sliding her fingers into her sister. Stephanie was moaning and her hips were bucking under her sister’s touch.
Nathan pulled away, taken aback by Allison’s statement.
“Kiss him again, Nathan, come on, we want to see you two get it on,” Allison challenged. Stephanie looked over at them, a worried frown forming on her face.
“Come on, Allie, don’t say things like that,” Stephanie said.
Peter had a feeling that Allison was the dominant sister, just like Nathan was the dominant brother. Peter got to his feet before Nathan could even contemplate obliging with Allison’s demand. He took Allison in his arms and kissed her instead, and in two seconds flat Peter was naked and Allison’s mouth was on him.
Nathan said, unbuttoning his shirt, “I think that one was supposed to be mine, Pete.”
“I thought you said--they were--both mine,” Peter groaned. He watched his brother take the other twin roughly by the wrists, pull her towards him, and toss her down on the other side of the bed. As Allison pleasured Peter with her mouth, he watched Nathan’s strong, lean body move on top of Stephanie, no foreplay, just right to it.
Peter found himself insanely jealous at that moment, watching Nathan. He didn’t kiss her, he didn’t touch her, he just was going through the motions. So not the way he touched Peter. He very nearly worshipped Peter’s body, torturing him, tormenting him with kisses and caresses. Peter could hear angry thoughts racing through Nathan’s mind, alternating with the mindless, wordless bliss of Stephanie. Allison had a song in her head, so he couldn’t tell what she was thinking, nor did he care.
Peter couldn’t believe it. Nathan was punishing him. Making Peter want it by giving it away to someone else. How could he? Watching Nathan, Peter knew he could never, ever say no to him. All the denial and willpower in the world wouldn’t work.
Allison was doing her best to get Peter’s attention off of his brother, but to no avail.
“Stop, okay, just stop, please,” Peter said. Allison got up off her knees, leaving Peter panting, unfulfilled.
“Steph. Stephanie. Get up, get dressed now. These two want to be alone with each other.”
Stephanie stopped Nathan in mid-thrust. “What? What are you talking about, Allie?”
“Peter here likes his brother better than he likes women. He obviously wishes he were where you are right now, or maybe he wishes his brother were me.”
Nathan stood up abruptly, after roughly flinging Stephanie aside. He grabbed Allison by the hair. “You cunt. Insult my brother again, I dare you. If you so much as speak his or my name outside this room, I’ll make it so you lose your teaching licenses forever. I’ll ruin your goddamn lives. Get the fuck out of my sight, you bitch.”
“Nathan, stop it, let her go!” Peter pleaded. Nathan released her, and Stephanie started to cry, but Allison was unfazed. She drew back and spit right in Nathan’s face. “You’re disgusting, both of you. Don’t worry, I would be embarrassed to tell anyone about this.”
Peter put his pants on quickly and pushed Nathan away from Allison. “Maybe you should just get dressed and leave. I’m sorry--”
“Don’t apologize to them, Pete. They don’t deserve anything from you.” Nathan was absolutely furious. “If you two are not out of here in three minutes, I swear to Christ…” Nathan went into the bathroom to wash his face.
The women dressed quickly and grabbed their purses. As Nathan was coming out of the bathroom, they vacated the hotel room, but not before Allison seethed, “Fuck you and your pretty boy brother!”
Nathan flipped them off as the door closed, and Peter could not help but laugh. Nathan collapsed onto the bed, and looked like he either wanted to laugh or cry. “I can’t believe that just happened, Pete. I can be a real asshole.”
Peter sighed, and rested his hands beneath his head. “Yeah. You called her a cunt, and you never use that word. You know, you assaulted her. She could have you arrested.”
“Oh, no she can’t. I paid the bartender and the clerk to keep their mouths shut and I had the clerk cut the cameras for the night. All the records will show is that you, Peter Petrelli, rented a single room for a night. Your word against theirs. You were a perfect gentleman, anyway. Good thing I had your American Express. I know how to cover my ass, Pete. When they used the bathroom, I looked in their purses, got their full names, Social Security numbers. They’re not going to do a damn thing. Oh, Pete. I told you I would ruin your night,” Nathan said.
“Maybe I’m glad they’re gone, Nate.” Peter moved to his brother’s side, and placed his open palm on his brother’s flat stomach. He traced the dark hair on Nathan’s stomach with his finger.
“I know I am,” Nathan breathed.
“But they were right. What’s wrong with me? Why would I rather have you than a woman?” Peter pressed his body closer to Nathan’s, and rested his hand on his brother’s chest.
“I’ll tell you why, Pete. Because you’re you. You would rather make love, not have sex. You couldn’t make love to one of those women, not if you tried. But you always, always make love with me.”
“I guess you’re right,” Peter said.
Nathan stroked his brother’s dark, tousled hair, and whispered, “When the right woman comes along, then I guess you won’t need me anymore.”
“I’ll always need you, Nate. I need you right now.”
Nathan pushed himself up, and gently stroked the side of his brother’s face. “I need you too, Pete. More than you know.”
Nathan kissed his brother, at first tenderly, then more urgently as he felt Peter become hard, pressing insistently into his hip, one layer of fabric separating their skin. This was not sex, it was love, and therefore it was not wrong.
One swift motion and the dress pants were off, and Peter’s body tensed as Nathan stroked the inside of Peter’s thighs, one and then the other. He allowed his hand to slightly brush him, and Peter cried out softly.
“Tell me you love me, Peter,” Nathan murmured, kissing his brother’s stomach, his chest, his neck, finding the place in Peter’s throat where his pulse raced, capturing his brother’s life-force momentarily beneath his lips.
“I love you, Nate,” Peter sighed, as Nathan’s thumb traced a delicate line back and forth on the underside of him.
“Tell me what you want, Peter.”
Nathan had never asked him what he wanted before.
“Anything I want?” Peter moaned, his hips thrusting, Nathan now full-handedly stroking him up and down, twisting just the right way. “I want--I don’t care--just make me come, Nathan, just like you always do,” Peter blurted, his body trembling.
Nathan was like the pull of the tide, bringing him ever closer from the far-off horizon, at first carrying him languidly, then hurtling him blindly towards the place where the waves crashed against the land, where pain, anger, hate, hurt, need, all those things that kept the two brothers apart were shattered and scattered like the broken shells that littered the warm sands of the shore.
After a while, Peter was so caught up in his brother’s touch that he was only slightly aware of Nathan behind him, sliding inside him now, and he didn’t even feel a bit of pain. Not a thing but Nathan’s purposeful strokes. His spine felt as if it had been replaced with a white-hot filament, every nerve and muscle in his body burning bright, and he was aching for release, for the light to burn through him and consume him. Peter’s vision sparkled and glimmered, and he knew he was close.
Nathan’s hips pushed forcefully against him, and Nathan’s hand moved on him once more, and he was there, flying like a fiery comet through the night sky, pieces of himself fragmenting into the blackness of space. He tightened around Nathan as he came, his body shuddering.
Nathan came the instant after, losing himself, spilling himself into his brother. He pushed deeper, saying his brother’s name, telling him he loved him, repeating it like a mantra until he sighed heavily and stopped moving.
“Do you forgive me, Pete?” Nathan whispered.
“Yes, always, Nate,” Peter affirmed.
Nathan’s arms tightened around Peter, his hand found his brother’s, and they stayed there like that until the sweat had long dried on their skin.
***
Somewhere in the middle of sleep and wakefulness, Peter pulled the covers over their nude bodies, and turned to face Nathan, who slept deeply. He rested his head on Nathan’s chest. The sound of his brother’s heartbeat set him drifting back to sleep, and his last thought was that Nathan had never needed to ask him what he wanted, because he always knew.
***
Nathan Petrelli woke first, and nearly choked when he saw what time it was. Eleven A.M. He had to call Heidi; he had to get to the office. He showered and dressed quickly, then picked his brother’s clothes up off the floor, smoothed them out a bit, and laid them over a chair. As he pulled out his cell phone to punch in his house number, he stopped to glance at the prone figure of his brother.
Peter still slept, his body seeming so small in the expanse of the large bed. Nathan’s heart ached as he realized what he was doing, so quick to rush out and immerse himself in everything else. He wondered if Peter ever picked up on the thoughts of others when he was sleeping. He hoped so.
Nathan put his phone away and decided that his day could wait. The most important thing in his life was lying tangled in those covers, and he promised himself that he would never put him last again. He brushed Peter’s hair out of his face, marveling at how beautiful he looked right at that moment, his chest rising and falling slowly, his face peaceful in sleep. I love you so much, Peter. I can’t fix it all in one day, but I can start right now. Nathan picked up the land line and dialed room service for coffee and a light breakfast, instructing them to leave it at the door.
Sleep as long as you want, and I’ll be right here when you wake up.
“You’re not doing too bad, Nate,” he heard his brother say in a sleepy voice.
Nathan turned to him and smiled brightly. “Morning, Pete. You really have to cut that hair,” he joked affectionately.
“Maybe,” Peter said, sitting up, shielding his eyes from the bright morning light pouring in the windows. “Give me a minute, and I’ll get in the shower, all right?”
“You take as long as you want. I’m not in a rush.” Nathan leaned in to kiss his brother’s forehead. “There’s nowhere I have to be than right here with you, Pete.”
Peter said, “I just love it when you suck up to me, Nate.”
“Oh, shut up and enjoy it,” Nathan said, unashamedly admiring his brother’s body as Peter got out of the bed, grabbed his pants off the chair where Nathan had placed them, and pulled them on. A smile playing at his lips, Peter remarked, “You know, Nate, I had a great time last night. We should definitely do it again sometime.”
Nathan said sarcastically, “What, bring two slutty women back to a hotel room and let them try to humiliate us? Oh, what a great time!”
Peter started laughing so hard he had to support himself on the wall. “And you said you thought I had such good taste!”
“Apparently not,” Nathan laughed.
There was a sharp knock at the door.
Peter got up, opened the door, and took the tray inside. “Coffee and food. Just what I needed.” He set the tray down and handed Nathan a cup. “Did you call Heidi?” Peter asked, sipping the warm brew.
“Ma probably told her I was with you. She won’t be worried.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Peter caught his brother’s hazel eyes with his own, and he said, “Love you, Nate.”
“Love you too, Pete."
Nathan and Peter Petrelli proceeded to share their meal in comfortable silence; there was no need for either of them to say another word.