Silent Grieving (Ficlet, Peter/Emma, Nathan/Peter)
Title: Silent Grieving
Pairing: Peter/Emma, past Nathan/Peter
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Past Incest, Angst.
Disclaimer: Heroes isn't mine.
Spoilers: Anything up to what might happen in 4x12, "The Fifth Stage".
Summary: Emma needed Peter. Now he needs her.
A/N: For commen_sense. More Petrellicest than anything. I tried.
I’m walking in a dream world. A nightmare. A place that used to feel like home.
The hospital was everything to me. I saved lives. I saved people. I saved families.
No one, not even myself, could save mine.
I blink back tears as I remember my brother’s last words to me. I don’t even remember hearing what he said. I just watched his lips as he spoke the words.
I love you more than life, Peter.
I swipe at my face and dig for a chart, and I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder.
Her again. Emma. I smile through my tears. I tried so hard to help her accept her new beginning. Now I’m trying to accept
my ending. I can’t help her now, because I need to help myself.
I try to pull away from her, but she asks, “Peter? Why are you crying?”
I turn towards her, words on my lips, ready to show her what I have to say. The words blur through my mind though, more images than anything.
Three years old, Nathan putting a Band-Aid on my knee, kissing my tears away. Telling me I’d be okay.
Twelve years old, when I told Nathan about my very first shameful dream, waking up with my hand covered in something I didn’t even know about. He told me it happened to every boy when he was becoming a man.
Sixteen years old, when Nathan crept into my bed and kissed me in a way I’d never imagined kissing another man.
Twenty-seven years old, the last time I’d made love to Nathan. I know it was wrong. But not to me. Not to Nathan. If he weren’t my brother, I would have spent the rest of my life with him, and no one else.
I can’t hold it back. Nathan’s really gone. Emma would never understand that.
I just look at her, and force my bottom lip to work as well as it can so she knows exactly what I’m saying. I say the most horrific words that I’ve ever heard, and the sound of my voice scares me.
“My brother died.”
She can’t hear my sobs, but she can feel my tears as I wrap my arms around her and pull her face to mine.
She doesn’t know anything about me.
I’ve been damaged for longer than I can remember. Because of him.
He’s made me who I am, and I’d never give that up, not for anything. Because he loved me.
I tilt her head up, and look into her eyes, and I tell her about Nathan.
She deserves to know.
Pairing: Peter/Emma, past Nathan/Peter
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Past Incest, Angst.
Disclaimer: Heroes isn't mine.
Spoilers: Anything up to what might happen in 4x12, "The Fifth Stage".
Summary: Emma needed Peter. Now he needs her.
A/N: For commen_sense. More Petrellicest than anything. I tried.
I’m walking in a dream world. A nightmare. A place that used to feel like home.
The hospital was everything to me. I saved lives. I saved people. I saved families.
No one, not even myself, could save mine.
I blink back tears as I remember my brother’s last words to me. I don’t even remember hearing what he said. I just watched his lips as he spoke the words.
I love you more than life, Peter.
I swipe at my face and dig for a chart, and I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder.
Her again. Emma. I smile through my tears. I tried so hard to help her accept her new beginning. Now I’m trying to accept
my ending. I can’t help her now, because I need to help myself.
I try to pull away from her, but she asks, “Peter? Why are you crying?”
I turn towards her, words on my lips, ready to show her what I have to say. The words blur through my mind though, more images than anything.
Three years old, Nathan putting a Band-Aid on my knee, kissing my tears away. Telling me I’d be okay.
Twelve years old, when I told Nathan about my very first shameful dream, waking up with my hand covered in something I didn’t even know about. He told me it happened to every boy when he was becoming a man.
Sixteen years old, when Nathan crept into my bed and kissed me in a way I’d never imagined kissing another man.
Twenty-seven years old, the last time I’d made love to Nathan. I know it was wrong. But not to me. Not to Nathan. If he weren’t my brother, I would have spent the rest of my life with him, and no one else.
I can’t hold it back. Nathan’s really gone. Emma would never understand that.
I just look at her, and force my bottom lip to work as well as it can so she knows exactly what I’m saying. I say the most horrific words that I’ve ever heard, and the sound of my voice scares me.
“My brother died.”
She can’t hear my sobs, but she can feel my tears as I wrap my arms around her and pull her face to mine.
She doesn’t know anything about me.
I’ve been damaged for longer than I can remember. Because of him.
He’s made me who I am, and I’d never give that up, not for anything. Because he loved me.
I tilt her head up, and look into her eyes, and I tell her about Nathan.
She deserves to know.