Kept, Keep, Keeping
Title: Kept, Keep, Keeping
Pairing: Yoosu
Genre: Angst, drama, romance
Length: Oneshot, 5396 words.
Rating: PG-13, some sexual references.
Summary: Junsu dislikes the new guy who just moved in next door. Yoochun finds himself biting off more than he can chew.
A/N: For sleeplesshadow & yoosu_sarang. This took me a fucking 25 days to write. Just shows my level of incompetency -.- Never expected it to turn out this way 'coz it was supposed to be just a simple and requires-minimal-thinking-smut-oneshot. Somehow I strayed far away from the initial plan. FAIL. But anyway, hope you enjoy.
Keep, Kept, Keeping
picture credits to sephy01
Again.
Flipping on his side, he rolled over to the other side of the bed, knowing no one would be occupying the space on his right. It had grown to be familiar to him, waking up to face the four walls of the master bedroom they shared. He knew he was alone. Again.
But now he had adapted to life. No more tantrums or constant pleading for him to come home, no more whining for the other man to stay, just a bit longer. His mind was clear, like glass and his heart calm, as a lake. There was no need to overreact to anything, he figured. It would just be a waste of energy. He didn’t have to respond to any external stimuli anyway - after all, there wasn’t a single soul apart from him left at home and he was no raving lunatic who talked to himself.
Parting the curtains to usher in the morning sunshine, Junsu fingered the soft fabric and laughed quietly, shaking his head as he did so. It was white, the colour of snow. The colour of the loose pants and oversized shirt he knew the other loved to see him wearing at night when they went to bed. The colour of the walls, the colour of the bedspreads, the colour of the furniture, the colour of the bathroom tiles, the colour of the marble floor. The colour that overwhelmed him all over and ate him up inside. His favourite colour.
Junsu used to love the colour, thought it lovely and pure. That was when he still naïvely believed he would come back to him, someday. That was months ago.
It was almost hard to believe that just a little while back, he had been crying his eyes out over a lone birthday cake staggering under the weight of twenty-two flaming candles. Time was a scary thing, Junsu chuckled darkly, it could make you indifferent and unsusceptible to your innermost vulnerabilities.
Worse still, it could take away all your hope.
***
Park Yoochun was a man whom Junsu came to dislike at first sight, even though nothing about the poor man could be of anyone’s disdain. He hated the fact that Yoochun had to choose to move into the vacant luxurious apartment right next to theirs; hated the way Yoochun smiled warmly at him as though it was the most natural thing in the world, because he had long forgotten how to do so; hated how sincere the man was - the genuine concern and alarm in his eyes as Junsu slammed the door in response to his calls just made Junsu’s hatred for him increase.
No one else, Junsu thought bitterly, no one else was worthy of his love. No one else could compare up to him. Even if he never came back.
***
Out of courtesy, Yoochun came knocking at his door to greet him or to bring him the newspaper every day. Each time, Junsu simply nodded curtly as a way of thanks before shutting the door heavily in his face. He had to admit, although he still found Yoochun’s bright smile irksome, he could not find it in himself to snap back off at the other man, the way he did towards the various security personnel when they came up to check if he was alright, since he had not stepped out of the house for what seemed like almost his entire life.
Today, however, was another story.
He felt oddly lightheaded as he got out of bed to pull the curtains open as usual. Every step felt like he was stepping on a marsh-mellowed floor, and he could barely make it out of his room without holding on to the walls for support. Something was not right, but Junsu didn’t know what.
The doorbell rang cheerfully, announcing Yoochun’s daily visit. With much effort, Junsu dragged both feet to the front door and pulled it open with clammy hands that had no strength left in them.
He caught one glimpse of Yoochun’s blinding greeting grin before surrendering himself to the welcoming darkness as he crumpled to the ground.
***
How long had he not smelt this very aroma?
Junsu sat up in his own bed, sniffing the air cautiously. There was the scent of food cooking wafting from the kitchen. Pushing back the covers, Junsu trod slowly to discover Yoochun, who was whistling merrily and stirring a metal pot over the stove. As if by telepathy, Yoochun turned around to spot Junsu staring at him expressionlessly.
The next thing he knew, Junsu was being ushered by a chattering Yoochun who babbled on anxiously about how long have you not been eating properly? and go and get more rest, you’re obviously exhausted and I’ll wake you when the food’s ready that only made Junsu unable to shift his gaze from the other man’s side profile as he allowed Yoochun to steer him towards the bedroom.
How long had he not received such caring warmth?
As Yoochun pulled the covers up and tucked him in gently, he flicked the tip of Junsu’s nose lightly, chuckling goodnight, sleep tight! before pressing a small kiss to the top of his head. Junsu could hear Yoochun resume his whistling as he closed the door gently behind him, leaving him to his own thoughts.
How long had he not felt … loved?
***
It was raining, a heavy downpour outside, when Junsu heard the sound of screeching tires coming from downstairs. A sound that he had not heard in a long time; a sound he had gradually forgotten to anticipate. Then came the usual quick footfalls accompanied by audible curses and loud scraping noises that could only mean that a heavy suitcase was being dragged forcefully along the corridor to their apartment. Junsu sighed. He was home.
Barefooted, he made his way to the door and held it open just in time to receive a Su babe, I’ve missed you so much and an overpowering stench of strong alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Junsu caught a whiff of Calvin Klein’s Obsession. Wordlessly, he bent over to retrieve the other man’s luggage but it was seized from his hands and discarded to the ground carelessly. Taking advantage of his momentary confusion, the other pressed him harshly against the cold wooden door and kissed him fully on the mouth, causing him to gag. Stop, you’re drunk, Junsu protested, but he was trapped beneath his needy body, unable to move. The dominating man made little licks and nips on the pale, soft neck while reaching upwards with subtle fingers to undo the white buttons on Junsu’s shirt, whispering I need you so much into the sensitive shell of Junsu’s ear, desire pooling at the bottom of his abdomen as the other man let out a whimper of helplessness when his struggles were rendered futile.
Junsu could only watch as the man above him ravished and used his body as a tool to satisfy his pleasures, his mind a whirl of turmoil and his heart aching at the lack of treatment. After all, he had been stupid in the first place to harbour any hopes that the other man would eventually grow to love him.
The fist swung out of nowhere, catching both men off guard. Junsu was whisked into a protective embrace as he heard a familiar bass voice yell out furiously, who the hell are you?! at the man now writhing on the ground.
Who the fuck are you?! The injured man bellowed, back on his feet and pointing an accusatory finger at Yoochun.
I’m Junsu’s neighbour, Yoochun replied, his attention now on the piteous man trembling with fright in his arms. Junsu clung on to the front of his shirt as if seeking security and drawing strength from his presence.
Neighbour? The other scoffed, scorn evident in his tone as he eyed their intimacy, neighbour, my ass! More like Junsu’s new lover, aren’t you? Tell me, Su, how many times have you two fucked each other already? Considering that I’ve been away for almost a year, you guys must be really close now, huh?
You! Yoochun was now unable to control anger from contorting his features, but the other man had no intention of stopping.
You whore, the other spat unexpectedly, I came back to reconsider our relationship, only to find out that you’ve been spreading your legs for another man - you’re nothing but a worthless whore, Kim Junsu!
A resounding slap echoed in the empty corridor, shocking all three men into silence.
Leave. Now. Junsu’s voice was soft, but determined.
Fuck, you said it, now don’t come sniveling on your knees begging me to take you in again because this time, we’re over, you hear? Over. After shooting dirty glares at Yoochun and Junsu, the other man stomped away without much regret.
It was only until Yoochun enveloped him in his arms again, coaxing soothingly shhh, shhh, that he realised he was crying a waterfall of tears.
***
It seemed only right to invite the man into his house for tea after his tears had caused the colours on Yoochun’s shirt to run.
You never told me you had a boyfriend, Yoochun grumbled, pouting his reddish lips. Junsu felt a strong urge to laugh. We were never really on speaking terms, were we? He remarked quietly. He wouldn’t have told Yoochun about him even if they were friends.
Hmm … true. Wait, does that mean we are, now? Yoochun was positively batting his eyelashes hopefully in his direction.
Junsu merely pursed his lips together and smiled faintly, the first true smile in months. Seeing the humour in his eyes, Yoochun chuckled and flicked his nose lightly. You look better when you smile, his tone suddenly solemn. A little too late, Junsu could not stop the red blush from creeping up his neck and he noticed how intently Yoochun had been staring at him, like a lion would do to its prey. Sensing the awkwardness in the atmosphere, he hastily mumbled bathroom as a feeble excuse to escape.
Once out of earshot, Junsu dashed to the bathroom, hurriedly twisting the tap on and splashing the cool water on his face in a bid to soothe his tinted cheeks. Staring into the mirror, he was aware of his own erratic breathing and racing heart rate. It had been a long time since he had lost his composure like this ... He touched the tip of his nose gently; reminiscing the way Yoochun had flicked it playfully. Please don’t tell me I’m actually lusting after Park Yoochun’s touch … Junsu groaned before pressing a palm to his forehead.
Lusting after … whose touch? Startled, he turned around to face an innocently-beaming Yoochun. No - No one. You made a mistake. Flabbergasted, Junsu tried to make his getaway, but he was seized by the other man and he collided heavily into Yoochun’s chest, feeling his arm snake around his waist in an intimate hold that was entirely different from the innocent, defensive one earlier on. This grip spoke of danger … and desire.
You’re not going anywhere until you make yourself clear to me, Kim Junsu, his name sounded incredibly sexy rolling off Yoochun’s tongue, he realised with a start. They were so close; he could feel Yoochun’s heated breaths on his face. Tell me … Yoochun whispered, lips grazing his sensitive ear, his voice husky with want, don’t you crave more from my touch? He put up one hand to Junsu’s cool cheek, caressing it softly, before sliding down the slender curve to the crook in his neck - he was satisfied to see that the other man shuddered visibly under his fingers, his blush deepening.
Junsu wished a hole could swallow him up now; he was extremely mortified by the way his body was reacting to the other man’s touch - his slender fingers ignited paths of fire on the places he stroked. N - No, he protested weakly, but Yoochun replaced his fingers with his soft, moist lips almost urgently, licking and sucking and nibbling at the perfect, pale skin at his sensitive neck and leaving deep pink marks in its wake, murmuring I want you now, I want you so bad over and over again with every breath that took Junsu’s away as well. Straightening, Yoochun bent down once again to trap Junsu’s flaming lips in his, reveling in the sweet sensation as Junsu pounded on his back, his face flushed - obviously unable to breathe - but he didn’t care; all he wanted was to taste more, to melt his frozen heart, to reveal a passionate side of Kim Junsu he had never seen.
Ugh -! Yoochun tasted blood on his lips and he reluctantly pulled away, but still keeping both arms around Junsu, who was wide-eyed, gasping for breath, for he knew if he did not, the man would have already collapsed in a heap on the ground. Gazing at his slightly-swollen yet equally tantalising lips, Yoochun leaned in to kiss him once again, robbing him of his oxygen supply. But this time, Junsu bit down, harder; and Yoochun let go off him in pain, a finger to his bottom lip to stem the blood flow.
What was that for?! Yoochun burst out, more of irritation at the sudden interruption than anger at inflicting a wound on him. Please … leave my house. Junsu held his heaving chest with one hand while pointing at the door with the other. It was a more polite way of saying get out, Yoochun discovered. I’m not leaving until you tell me what you’re playing at. Egging me on, before kicking me out? Is that what you wish to accomplish? Yoochun grimaced at the uncomfortable tightness in his pants.
I don’t think there’s any reason for me to explain things to you, Park Yoochun, Junsu’s voice was cold despite the blazing warmth on his cheeks. After all, we’re not even on speaking terms. I’ve had my fun and you’ve had yours. The end. He could see fury etched into the features of Yoochun’s young, unlined face as he spoke.
You -! Kim - Jun - Su! Yoochun yelled out his name in three syllabuses. Seeing as Yoochun made his way over to him, Junsu closed his eyes, anticipating the storm that would befall as he heard the vicious tearing sound of his white shirt and the decorated buttons that fell to the ground with small ‘ping’ noises. Then all was silent.
Junsu did not dare to get up, or open his eyes to check if Yoochun was still there. Minutes passed, and he held his breath, but there was no sound of anyone around. Peeking through his eyelashes, Junsu blinked to find that he was alone in the bathroom, with his shirt hanging from his shoulders in shreds and the deep pink marks left on his neck that seemed to serve as a reminder of the incident.
He was alone again. And yet again, he had no one to blame but himself. No courage, no self-confidence, no nothing. He was just a discarded toy, played around with and then thrown away from owner to owner. Who cared about what the toy felt when it provided so much entertainment? Toys didn’t have the right to love. A bitter laugh slipped out from between his lips as he buried his face in his knees. This time, there was no one to offer him any form of comfort like Yoochun’s.
***
Life went on the way it did before Park Yoochun had entered it. No more incessant ringing of the doorbell to signal his arrival, no more cheery eyes crinkled at the corners, no more nagging chatters of genuine concern, no more warmth left to spare. They had left just as quickly as they came, without announcing their departure.
So it pretty much surprised Junsu when his phone rang, a pretty, soothing instrumental sound that only meant one person.
Him.
The short message only held four words. Same place, same time.
***
He had expected this to be silent, but nothing close to this. The man sitting opposite him was looking extremely nervous, jittery, almost desperate; but Junsu, on the other hand, was as calm as an oasis. It seemed like nothing could strike the unmoving surface of the lake in his heart … after an annoying stone like Park Yoochun withdrew all interference in his life.
Taking a sip of the bitter coffee, Junsu licked his lips briefly. So … what’s up? His tone was normal, almost friendly; and it obviously gave the other man a rude shock. Were you, perhaps, expecting a more violent reaction from me? Junsu remarked, watching as the man opposite fought to collect himself by twisting the fragile cup round and round in his arms.
Junsu …He could not bring himself to look into the said man’s brown, scrutinising eyes. Look, I’m sorry about last time, it’s just - I was drunk, I wasn’t thinking straight …
It’s alright. Junsu brought the cup to his lips casually. What do you want? He asked flatly, without any ounce of emotion.
Junsu … Su … I’ve missed you so much, the man uttered, his eyes glittering darkly. Come home with me, Su, come back to my side … He reached out across the small, square wooden table and grasped Junsu’s hands in his. Su … please … I’m begging you …
There was no more love left in those eyes, Junsu met his gaze straight on and confirmed it immediately. When the other man stroked his hands, all he felt was disgust for the creep who wanted to possess him, his body.
How ironic, mocked a loud voice. Without turning around, Junsu could easily identify who it was, and for no apparent reason, his heart gave a lurch.
It wasn’t too long ago when you were threatening Junsu not to come and beg you to take him in … and now …? Park Yoochun laughed sardonically. Turns out that you’re still the bastard who lusts after his body, aren’t you?
The whole café had gone deathly quiet at Yoochun’s words. Junsu lowered his head, unable to face the reproving glances that were shot their way, obviously condemning their unorthodox relationship and actions. You - you - you - The other man was at a loss for words.
Let’s go. Junsu could hear the suppressed rage in Yoochun’s voice as he jerked Junsu neatly out of the other man’s grasp and led him out of the café.
Somewhere from behind them, Junsu could have sworn he heard the sounds of applause.
***
Yoochun … let go of me … Junsu’s wrist was beginning to hurt a lot under Yoochun’s iron grip, but the other man showed no signs of stopping in his tracks. Park Yoochun! Junsu yelled.
It took a few seconds before Yoochun released him and they stood, panting slightly, in the middle of a secluded little lane. Nursing his aching wrist bone, Junsu could see lines of red where Yoochun had grabbed him. Does it hurt? Yoochun asked suddenly, in the gentle manner which he was more accustomed to.
Are you stupid? Of course. Suddenly, Yoochun had both his hands in his and was rubbing them lightly, occasionally blowing on it to ease the pain. Junsu stared at him in astonishment. Park Yoochun was really quite good looking … Junsu sighed. His naturally pouty pink lips …cute puffy cheeks that showed even when he wasn’t smiling … curling eyelashes that made girls go gaga over … and the wide forehead … Junsu laughed out loud, a soft giggle that caught Yoochun’s attention immediately.
What’s so funny? His brows were furrowed together, making wrinkles appear in the forehead that Junsu was laughing at. Nothing, he tried to suppress his laughter, but it didn’t work, and another giggle escaped.
Are you going to tell me or not? Yoochun’s voice had a threatening edge to it, but Junsu shook his head steadfastly. Well, then, you leave me with no choice …
All at once, Yoochun reached out ten slender fingers towards Junsu’s sides and started tickling him mercilessly. Under Yoochun’s continuous attacks, Junsu tried to dodge, or retaliate, but the former wouldn’t let him go. S - Stop, Yoo - Yoochun, it’s too ticklish! Junsu tried to catch his breath, but the said man wouldn’t give him a chance to. He felt as though he was going to die from laughing so hard - his tears came streaming out and his body went uncontrollably limp in Yoochun’s arms. Hahahaha … Yoochun … s - stop! Curling his fingers around Yoochun’s shirt seemed to be the only way of maintaining his balance now and he did so while twisting and struggling to escape the fingers that tortured him, brushing carelessly against the other man’s body.
Abruptly, Yoochun stiffened and stopped in his actions. Breathing hard, Junsu reached up to wipe the tears away from his eyes and noticed that there was a change in Yoochun’s expression. Yoochun … are you alright? He waved a hand before the latter reacted to his question. Y - Yes, I’m fine. Let’s … Let’s go home. Flustered, Yoochun walked on, leaving Junsu to follow behind, bamboozled.
Unknown to Junsu, there was a noticeable bulge in front of Yoochun’s pants.
***
Here, Yoochun gestured. You should go in, it’s late. The awkwardness had once again returned. Wordlessly, Junsu nodded. Thank you … for today. He said mildly.
No problem. Junsu stared at the grinning Yoochun. He wanted to say something, but now didn’t seem like an appropriate time for heart-to-heart talks with a man whose touch you could not resist. Well ... goodnight. Junsu was about to push the door shut when Yoochun’s foot stopped it from closing.
Junsu … Damn it, it was that sleazy voice that made him go weak at the knees, Junsu groaned. What is it?
Can’t you … Can’t you consider … Yoochun heaved a deep breath. The word ‘me’ caught in his throat. Out of habit, Junsu licked his lips nervously, not knowing what an effect it had on Yoochun, who was observing him closely. Yoochun … I - mmpphhh!
He could not stand idly by and act as if he was indifferent to that fatal action; it had already taken every bit of his self-restrain to stop himself from jumping the man on their way home - there were too many convenient spots along the street … dark alleyways … cheap motels … even the men’s bathroom could have sufficed. He held himself in earlier on, wanting to be the perfect gentleman, but now … nothing could hold him back. Pulling Junsu to him and killing the distance between them, Yoochun sealed those alluring lips with his, amused at how quickly the other man went from resisting to accepting in the matter of seconds, compliant and responsive under the spell of his enticing kisses. Nudging the door close behind their closely pressed bodies, he felt a tremor heading straight down south as Junsu moaned into his mouth wantonly, hips unconsciously pressed up against his to increase the friction between their need. I know you want me, Kim Junsu, Yoochun whispered, show me the real you.
Junsu could have died under the spell the lustful gaze had over his being. Yes, he whispered incoherently, yes, yes, yes -
Just let me taste a little of heaven on my lips, and I’ll be satisfied.
***
They were cuddled together in bed, and he had his arms wrapped loosely around his thin, flat waist, but it felt like his heart was still miles out of his grasp.
Junsu … Yoochun closed the gap between them as he caressed the silky brown locks, trying to get the other man to look at him, but Junsu merely let out a small grunt of acknowledge before fluttering his eyelids shut again. Junsu, Yoochun tried again, and this time, the other man opened his eyes fully to look at him.
The insecurity was apparent in his eyes. Junsu … why won’t you let me in? You can trust me, you know, Yoochun’s fingers skimmed lightly across the surface of his skin. Breaking the eye contact, Junsu turned away from him and pretended to sleep.
Yoochun-ah … the problem is, I’m scared, because I’ve never trusted anyone as much as I trusted you.
***
His body clock had been thrown into chaos again. Oh, yes … how he hated this feeling. Where the hell was Kim Junsu?! It was 5.26pm in the afternoon and Junsu was nowhere to be found in the apartment. Yoochun grabbed his pants and rummaged through his pockets, successfully locating his phone. Frantically, he punched in a random string of numbers.
Hello? Junsu’s soft, husky voice came over the line and Yoochun breathed a little easier.
Kim Junsu, where in the world have you disappeared to? He was almost yelling now. First you play with my feelings, then you reject me, and then you disappear after a night of mind-blowing sex! What do you take me for, huh!?! Yoochun was sure the neighbours could hear his roar of exasperation now.
He heard a soft sigh, before Junsu gradually spoke. Yoochun-ah … here’s the deal. If you can find me before 12am at midnight today, I’ll let you in.
What?!
The line went dead. Damnit, Yoochun redialed the number only to find a female voice announcing coolly the number you just dialed is unavailable, please try again later -
Yoochun threw his phone down in aggravation. He had to give it a shot.
Kim Junsu, wait till I get hold of you, you little -
- You little idiot who stole my heart.
***
Junsu turned off his phone and stowed it in his pocket. Mercifully, he had remembered to don a woolen scarf before leaving the house today - it was freezing and he was almost unable to feel the tip of his nose. Walking leisurely over the wet grass, Junsu raised his head to look up at the sky. Dark clouds were gathering in masses, congregating to form a huge grey body. It didn’t need a genius to know that a thunderstorm was going to reign tonight.
Clasping his hands together, Junsu made a silent prayer.
Dear God, please give me strength in my faith.
***
Gripping the steering wheel tightly in both hands, Yoochun maneuvered his car down the streets of Seoul, hoping desperately to spot a sign, any sign of the person he was looking for.
There was none.
***
Junsu looked at the unblinking luminous digits on the clock, willing them to slow down with his mind. He did not bother with taking off his long overcoat ever since he stepped indoors but he could still feel the cold seeping in and chilling his heart. Lifting his knees to his chest, he curled up into a ball in the corner of the large, spacious couch.
***
He was starting to despair. Running around the few places he knew would have little likelihood of Junsu’s appearance, Yoochun let out a strangled cry of frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. Pulling back his sleeve to look at the time, the feeling of despondency was stronger than ever. Time was running out. And God did not seem to be on his side tonight.
Park Yoochun was officially pissed off. How could Kim Junsu place all his feelings on a gamble? What if he lost? What if Junsu was hiding in a hole somewhere, never to be found? Or worse, knowing he would never be found by Yoochun? Junsu never mentioned how he felt towards him. What if Junsu never had the intentions of accepting him in any way?
He let out a low growl. If Kim Junsu decided to leave it up to Fate, so would he.
Kim Junsu, if I can’t find you by midnight, I’ll forget I ever met you and move on.
Gritting his teeth, he hurried down a small lane that would take him back to his apartment with a little voice echoing in his head. Easier said than done, Park Yoochun, easier said than done.
***
His eyelids were growing heavy, and he blinked slowly, still keeping his eyes trained on the small clock. 23:49pm, it read, and Junsu began to feel the first wisps of hopelessness. Yoochun was probably still out there somewhere, trying to look for him in every nook and cranny of Seoul city. Junsu chuckled quietly, imagining how Yoochun would probably be brushing his hair away from his wide forehead in vexation, brows creased and lips pursed. Stupid Yoochun, Junsu thought, will you ever think of coming here?
Unable to resist exhaustion from overtaking him, Junsu fell asleep with a small, expectant smile. Even if you’re never going to find me, I’ll be waiting here for you.
24:01am, and no Park Yoochun.
He did not hear the hasty footsteps, did not hear the rough manhandling of the door as it burst open, did not hear the loud pants and irregular breathing of a very tired, very irate Park Yoochun as he gazed down at the sleeping form of the man he had been searching for all night.
It was odd; how Junsu could be sleeping fitfully throughout it all while he scoured the entire area, almost turning the entire city upside down and yet every bit of resentment flew out of the window when he eventually found him. Caressing the cheek of his loved one, Yoochun noted how cold it was. How long had he been waiting here for him?
Circling Junsu in his arms, he bent down and captured the pair of smiling lips with his own warm ones, nibbling lightly at the moist flesh, trying to coax the other to react to his advances. When Junsu began to stir blearily, Yoochun deepened the kiss, tracing the curves over and over again with the tip of his tongue.
His face was flooded with colour once Yoochun let go of him. Inhaling a lungful of air, Junsu didn’t have time to respond before other man grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him again.
You’ve been a naughty boy, Su-ah, leading me on with games. Yoochun murmured dangerously as he nipped playfully down Junsu’s jaw, feeling satisfied as the other went limp in his arms, powerless under his ministrations. Now that I’ve won, I’m going to claim my prize, hmmm? His fingers moved stealthily into the gap between skin and fabric, ghosting over the lean muscles, and moving downwards, the pleasurable tingles causing Junsu to let out a small whimper and arc his hips against his.
Don’t run away from me anymore, Su-ah, Yoochun whispered, his voice low and deep. I will keep you inside here, forever. Grasping Junsu’s hand in his, Yoochun pressed the smaller palm to the left side of his chest, where the latter could feel the steady rhythmic pounding of Yoochun’s heart.
A glistening drop of tear escaped the corner of Junsu’s eye. It was the promise he always wanted. It was the salvation he always needed. It was the man he loved. This time, he finally felt the warmth engulf his heart, spreading to his entire being.
The thunderstorm he expected never came.
***
8.03a.m. and the morning sunshine was flitting into the room through the translucent white curtains.
It was a whole new feeling to wake up in the warm arms of another, to open his eyes knowing that someone wanted him. Junsu smiled. The white curtains had to go, Junsu made a mental note to remind himself, and so did the white sheets, the white furniture, the marble floor …
And don’t forget your wardrobe. I’m definitely putting some colours on you, Su-ah. Yoochun rasped suddenly, startling Junsu. You can’t do that, Junsu protested, I like white.
Oh yes I can … Yoochun leaned in to nuzzle against Junsu’s neck, drawing giggles from the latter. ‘Coz I like blue on you. But it’s all right if you can’t make up your mind. I won’t be complaining if you decide to go naked instead.
Park Yoochun!
Okay, okay, Yoochun caught Junsu’s flailing wrists in both hands. I’ll go naked for you.
Blushing furiously, Junsu avoided all eye contact until Yoochun pressed their foreheads together, bringing him to gaze into the warm, chocolate orbs that stole his breath away.
forever?
forever.
***
Pairing: Yoosu
Genre: Angst, drama, romance
Length: Oneshot, 5396 words.
Rating: PG-13, some sexual references.
Summary: Junsu dislikes the new guy who just moved in next door. Yoochun finds himself biting off more than he can chew.
A/N: For sleeplesshadow & yoosu_sarang. This took me a fucking 25 days to write. Just shows my level of incompetency -.- Never expected it to turn out this way 'coz it was supposed to be just a simple and requires-minimal-thinking-smut-oneshot. Somehow I strayed far away from the initial plan. FAIL. But anyway, hope you enjoy.
Keep, Kept, Keeping
picture credits to sephy01
Again.
Flipping on his side, he rolled over to the other side of the bed, knowing no one would be occupying the space on his right. It had grown to be familiar to him, waking up to face the four walls of the master bedroom they shared. He knew he was alone. Again.
But now he had adapted to life. No more tantrums or constant pleading for him to come home, no more whining for the other man to stay, just a bit longer. His mind was clear, like glass and his heart calm, as a lake. There was no need to overreact to anything, he figured. It would just be a waste of energy. He didn’t have to respond to any external stimuli anyway - after all, there wasn’t a single soul apart from him left at home and he was no raving lunatic who talked to himself.
Parting the curtains to usher in the morning sunshine, Junsu fingered the soft fabric and laughed quietly, shaking his head as he did so. It was white, the colour of snow. The colour of the loose pants and oversized shirt he knew the other loved to see him wearing at night when they went to bed. The colour of the walls, the colour of the bedspreads, the colour of the furniture, the colour of the bathroom tiles, the colour of the marble floor. The colour that overwhelmed him all over and ate him up inside. His favourite colour.
Junsu used to love the colour, thought it lovely and pure. That was when he still naïvely believed he would come back to him, someday. That was months ago.
It was almost hard to believe that just a little while back, he had been crying his eyes out over a lone birthday cake staggering under the weight of twenty-two flaming candles. Time was a scary thing, Junsu chuckled darkly, it could make you indifferent and unsusceptible to your innermost vulnerabilities.
Worse still, it could take away all your hope.
***
Park Yoochun was a man whom Junsu came to dislike at first sight, even though nothing about the poor man could be of anyone’s disdain. He hated the fact that Yoochun had to choose to move into the vacant luxurious apartment right next to theirs; hated the way Yoochun smiled warmly at him as though it was the most natural thing in the world, because he had long forgotten how to do so; hated how sincere the man was - the genuine concern and alarm in his eyes as Junsu slammed the door in response to his calls just made Junsu’s hatred for him increase.
No one else, Junsu thought bitterly, no one else was worthy of his love. No one else could compare up to him. Even if he never came back.
***
Out of courtesy, Yoochun came knocking at his door to greet him or to bring him the newspaper every day. Each time, Junsu simply nodded curtly as a way of thanks before shutting the door heavily in his face. He had to admit, although he still found Yoochun’s bright smile irksome, he could not find it in himself to snap back off at the other man, the way he did towards the various security personnel when they came up to check if he was alright, since he had not stepped out of the house for what seemed like almost his entire life.
Today, however, was another story.
He felt oddly lightheaded as he got out of bed to pull the curtains open as usual. Every step felt like he was stepping on a marsh-mellowed floor, and he could barely make it out of his room without holding on to the walls for support. Something was not right, but Junsu didn’t know what.
The doorbell rang cheerfully, announcing Yoochun’s daily visit. With much effort, Junsu dragged both feet to the front door and pulled it open with clammy hands that had no strength left in them.
He caught one glimpse of Yoochun’s blinding greeting grin before surrendering himself to the welcoming darkness as he crumpled to the ground.
***
How long had he not smelt this very aroma?
Junsu sat up in his own bed, sniffing the air cautiously. There was the scent of food cooking wafting from the kitchen. Pushing back the covers, Junsu trod slowly to discover Yoochun, who was whistling merrily and stirring a metal pot over the stove. As if by telepathy, Yoochun turned around to spot Junsu staring at him expressionlessly.
The next thing he knew, Junsu was being ushered by a chattering Yoochun who babbled on anxiously about how long have you not been eating properly? and go and get more rest, you’re obviously exhausted and I’ll wake you when the food’s ready that only made Junsu unable to shift his gaze from the other man’s side profile as he allowed Yoochun to steer him towards the bedroom.
How long had he not received such caring warmth?
As Yoochun pulled the covers up and tucked him in gently, he flicked the tip of Junsu’s nose lightly, chuckling goodnight, sleep tight! before pressing a small kiss to the top of his head. Junsu could hear Yoochun resume his whistling as he closed the door gently behind him, leaving him to his own thoughts.
How long had he not felt … loved?
***
It was raining, a heavy downpour outside, when Junsu heard the sound of screeching tires coming from downstairs. A sound that he had not heard in a long time; a sound he had gradually forgotten to anticipate. Then came the usual quick footfalls accompanied by audible curses and loud scraping noises that could only mean that a heavy suitcase was being dragged forcefully along the corridor to their apartment. Junsu sighed. He was home.
Barefooted, he made his way to the door and held it open just in time to receive a Su babe, I’ve missed you so much and an overpowering stench of strong alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Junsu caught a whiff of Calvin Klein’s Obsession. Wordlessly, he bent over to retrieve the other man’s luggage but it was seized from his hands and discarded to the ground carelessly. Taking advantage of his momentary confusion, the other pressed him harshly against the cold wooden door and kissed him fully on the mouth, causing him to gag. Stop, you’re drunk, Junsu protested, but he was trapped beneath his needy body, unable to move. The dominating man made little licks and nips on the pale, soft neck while reaching upwards with subtle fingers to undo the white buttons on Junsu’s shirt, whispering I need you so much into the sensitive shell of Junsu’s ear, desire pooling at the bottom of his abdomen as the other man let out a whimper of helplessness when his struggles were rendered futile.
Junsu could only watch as the man above him ravished and used his body as a tool to satisfy his pleasures, his mind a whirl of turmoil and his heart aching at the lack of treatment. After all, he had been stupid in the first place to harbour any hopes that the other man would eventually grow to love him.
The fist swung out of nowhere, catching both men off guard. Junsu was whisked into a protective embrace as he heard a familiar bass voice yell out furiously, who the hell are you?! at the man now writhing on the ground.
Who the fuck are you?! The injured man bellowed, back on his feet and pointing an accusatory finger at Yoochun.
I’m Junsu’s neighbour, Yoochun replied, his attention now on the piteous man trembling with fright in his arms. Junsu clung on to the front of his shirt as if seeking security and drawing strength from his presence.
Neighbour? The other scoffed, scorn evident in his tone as he eyed their intimacy, neighbour, my ass! More like Junsu’s new lover, aren’t you? Tell me, Su, how many times have you two fucked each other already? Considering that I’ve been away for almost a year, you guys must be really close now, huh?
You! Yoochun was now unable to control anger from contorting his features, but the other man had no intention of stopping.
You whore, the other spat unexpectedly, I came back to reconsider our relationship, only to find out that you’ve been spreading your legs for another man - you’re nothing but a worthless whore, Kim Junsu!
A resounding slap echoed in the empty corridor, shocking all three men into silence.
Leave. Now. Junsu’s voice was soft, but determined.
Fuck, you said it, now don’t come sniveling on your knees begging me to take you in again because this time, we’re over, you hear? Over. After shooting dirty glares at Yoochun and Junsu, the other man stomped away without much regret.
It was only until Yoochun enveloped him in his arms again, coaxing soothingly shhh, shhh, that he realised he was crying a waterfall of tears.
***
It seemed only right to invite the man into his house for tea after his tears had caused the colours on Yoochun’s shirt to run.
You never told me you had a boyfriend, Yoochun grumbled, pouting his reddish lips. Junsu felt a strong urge to laugh. We were never really on speaking terms, were we? He remarked quietly. He wouldn’t have told Yoochun about him even if they were friends.
Hmm … true. Wait, does that mean we are, now? Yoochun was positively batting his eyelashes hopefully in his direction.
Junsu merely pursed his lips together and smiled faintly, the first true smile in months. Seeing the humour in his eyes, Yoochun chuckled and flicked his nose lightly. You look better when you smile, his tone suddenly solemn. A little too late, Junsu could not stop the red blush from creeping up his neck and he noticed how intently Yoochun had been staring at him, like a lion would do to its prey. Sensing the awkwardness in the atmosphere, he hastily mumbled bathroom as a feeble excuse to escape.
Once out of earshot, Junsu dashed to the bathroom, hurriedly twisting the tap on and splashing the cool water on his face in a bid to soothe his tinted cheeks. Staring into the mirror, he was aware of his own erratic breathing and racing heart rate. It had been a long time since he had lost his composure like this ... He touched the tip of his nose gently; reminiscing the way Yoochun had flicked it playfully. Please don’t tell me I’m actually lusting after Park Yoochun’s touch … Junsu groaned before pressing a palm to his forehead.
Lusting after … whose touch? Startled, he turned around to face an innocently-beaming Yoochun. No - No one. You made a mistake. Flabbergasted, Junsu tried to make his getaway, but he was seized by the other man and he collided heavily into Yoochun’s chest, feeling his arm snake around his waist in an intimate hold that was entirely different from the innocent, defensive one earlier on. This grip spoke of danger … and desire.
You’re not going anywhere until you make yourself clear to me, Kim Junsu, his name sounded incredibly sexy rolling off Yoochun’s tongue, he realised with a start. They were so close; he could feel Yoochun’s heated breaths on his face. Tell me … Yoochun whispered, lips grazing his sensitive ear, his voice husky with want, don’t you crave more from my touch? He put up one hand to Junsu’s cool cheek, caressing it softly, before sliding down the slender curve to the crook in his neck - he was satisfied to see that the other man shuddered visibly under his fingers, his blush deepening.
Junsu wished a hole could swallow him up now; he was extremely mortified by the way his body was reacting to the other man’s touch - his slender fingers ignited paths of fire on the places he stroked. N - No, he protested weakly, but Yoochun replaced his fingers with his soft, moist lips almost urgently, licking and sucking and nibbling at the perfect, pale skin at his sensitive neck and leaving deep pink marks in its wake, murmuring I want you now, I want you so bad over and over again with every breath that took Junsu’s away as well. Straightening, Yoochun bent down once again to trap Junsu’s flaming lips in his, reveling in the sweet sensation as Junsu pounded on his back, his face flushed - obviously unable to breathe - but he didn’t care; all he wanted was to taste more, to melt his frozen heart, to reveal a passionate side of Kim Junsu he had never seen.
Ugh -! Yoochun tasted blood on his lips and he reluctantly pulled away, but still keeping both arms around Junsu, who was wide-eyed, gasping for breath, for he knew if he did not, the man would have already collapsed in a heap on the ground. Gazing at his slightly-swollen yet equally tantalising lips, Yoochun leaned in to kiss him once again, robbing him of his oxygen supply. But this time, Junsu bit down, harder; and Yoochun let go off him in pain, a finger to his bottom lip to stem the blood flow.
What was that for?! Yoochun burst out, more of irritation at the sudden interruption than anger at inflicting a wound on him. Please … leave my house. Junsu held his heaving chest with one hand while pointing at the door with the other. It was a more polite way of saying get out, Yoochun discovered. I’m not leaving until you tell me what you’re playing at. Egging me on, before kicking me out? Is that what you wish to accomplish? Yoochun grimaced at the uncomfortable tightness in his pants.
I don’t think there’s any reason for me to explain things to you, Park Yoochun, Junsu’s voice was cold despite the blazing warmth on his cheeks. After all, we’re not even on speaking terms. I’ve had my fun and you’ve had yours. The end. He could see fury etched into the features of Yoochun’s young, unlined face as he spoke.
You -! Kim - Jun - Su! Yoochun yelled out his name in three syllabuses. Seeing as Yoochun made his way over to him, Junsu closed his eyes, anticipating the storm that would befall as he heard the vicious tearing sound of his white shirt and the decorated buttons that fell to the ground with small ‘ping’ noises. Then all was silent.
Junsu did not dare to get up, or open his eyes to check if Yoochun was still there. Minutes passed, and he held his breath, but there was no sound of anyone around. Peeking through his eyelashes, Junsu blinked to find that he was alone in the bathroom, with his shirt hanging from his shoulders in shreds and the deep pink marks left on his neck that seemed to serve as a reminder of the incident.
He was alone again. And yet again, he had no one to blame but himself. No courage, no self-confidence, no nothing. He was just a discarded toy, played around with and then thrown away from owner to owner. Who cared about what the toy felt when it provided so much entertainment? Toys didn’t have the right to love. A bitter laugh slipped out from between his lips as he buried his face in his knees. This time, there was no one to offer him any form of comfort like Yoochun’s.
***
Life went on the way it did before Park Yoochun had entered it. No more incessant ringing of the doorbell to signal his arrival, no more cheery eyes crinkled at the corners, no more nagging chatters of genuine concern, no more warmth left to spare. They had left just as quickly as they came, without announcing their departure.
So it pretty much surprised Junsu when his phone rang, a pretty, soothing instrumental sound that only meant one person.
Him.
The short message only held four words. Same place, same time.
***
He had expected this to be silent, but nothing close to this. The man sitting opposite him was looking extremely nervous, jittery, almost desperate; but Junsu, on the other hand, was as calm as an oasis. It seemed like nothing could strike the unmoving surface of the lake in his heart … after an annoying stone like Park Yoochun withdrew all interference in his life.
Taking a sip of the bitter coffee, Junsu licked his lips briefly. So … what’s up? His tone was normal, almost friendly; and it obviously gave the other man a rude shock. Were you, perhaps, expecting a more violent reaction from me? Junsu remarked, watching as the man opposite fought to collect himself by twisting the fragile cup round and round in his arms.
Junsu …He could not bring himself to look into the said man’s brown, scrutinising eyes. Look, I’m sorry about last time, it’s just - I was drunk, I wasn’t thinking straight …
It’s alright. Junsu brought the cup to his lips casually. What do you want? He asked flatly, without any ounce of emotion.
Junsu … Su … I’ve missed you so much, the man uttered, his eyes glittering darkly. Come home with me, Su, come back to my side … He reached out across the small, square wooden table and grasped Junsu’s hands in his. Su … please … I’m begging you …
There was no more love left in those eyes, Junsu met his gaze straight on and confirmed it immediately. When the other man stroked his hands, all he felt was disgust for the creep who wanted to possess him, his body.
How ironic, mocked a loud voice. Without turning around, Junsu could easily identify who it was, and for no apparent reason, his heart gave a lurch.
It wasn’t too long ago when you were threatening Junsu not to come and beg you to take him in … and now …? Park Yoochun laughed sardonically. Turns out that you’re still the bastard who lusts after his body, aren’t you?
The whole café had gone deathly quiet at Yoochun’s words. Junsu lowered his head, unable to face the reproving glances that were shot their way, obviously condemning their unorthodox relationship and actions. You - you - you - The other man was at a loss for words.
Let’s go. Junsu could hear the suppressed rage in Yoochun’s voice as he jerked Junsu neatly out of the other man’s grasp and led him out of the café.
Somewhere from behind them, Junsu could have sworn he heard the sounds of applause.
***
Yoochun … let go of me … Junsu’s wrist was beginning to hurt a lot under Yoochun’s iron grip, but the other man showed no signs of stopping in his tracks. Park Yoochun! Junsu yelled.
It took a few seconds before Yoochun released him and they stood, panting slightly, in the middle of a secluded little lane. Nursing his aching wrist bone, Junsu could see lines of red where Yoochun had grabbed him. Does it hurt? Yoochun asked suddenly, in the gentle manner which he was more accustomed to.
Are you stupid? Of course. Suddenly, Yoochun had both his hands in his and was rubbing them lightly, occasionally blowing on it to ease the pain. Junsu stared at him in astonishment. Park Yoochun was really quite good looking … Junsu sighed. His naturally pouty pink lips …cute puffy cheeks that showed even when he wasn’t smiling … curling eyelashes that made girls go gaga over … and the wide forehead … Junsu laughed out loud, a soft giggle that caught Yoochun’s attention immediately.
What’s so funny? His brows were furrowed together, making wrinkles appear in the forehead that Junsu was laughing at. Nothing, he tried to suppress his laughter, but it didn’t work, and another giggle escaped.
Are you going to tell me or not? Yoochun’s voice had a threatening edge to it, but Junsu shook his head steadfastly. Well, then, you leave me with no choice …
All at once, Yoochun reached out ten slender fingers towards Junsu’s sides and started tickling him mercilessly. Under Yoochun’s continuous attacks, Junsu tried to dodge, or retaliate, but the former wouldn’t let him go. S - Stop, Yoo - Yoochun, it’s too ticklish! Junsu tried to catch his breath, but the said man wouldn’t give him a chance to. He felt as though he was going to die from laughing so hard - his tears came streaming out and his body went uncontrollably limp in Yoochun’s arms. Hahahaha … Yoochun … s - stop! Curling his fingers around Yoochun’s shirt seemed to be the only way of maintaining his balance now and he did so while twisting and struggling to escape the fingers that tortured him, brushing carelessly against the other man’s body.
Abruptly, Yoochun stiffened and stopped in his actions. Breathing hard, Junsu reached up to wipe the tears away from his eyes and noticed that there was a change in Yoochun’s expression. Yoochun … are you alright? He waved a hand before the latter reacted to his question. Y - Yes, I’m fine. Let’s … Let’s go home. Flustered, Yoochun walked on, leaving Junsu to follow behind, bamboozled.
Unknown to Junsu, there was a noticeable bulge in front of Yoochun’s pants.
***
Here, Yoochun gestured. You should go in, it’s late. The awkwardness had once again returned. Wordlessly, Junsu nodded. Thank you … for today. He said mildly.
No problem. Junsu stared at the grinning Yoochun. He wanted to say something, but now didn’t seem like an appropriate time for heart-to-heart talks with a man whose touch you could not resist. Well ... goodnight. Junsu was about to push the door shut when Yoochun’s foot stopped it from closing.
Junsu … Damn it, it was that sleazy voice that made him go weak at the knees, Junsu groaned. What is it?
Can’t you … Can’t you consider … Yoochun heaved a deep breath. The word ‘me’ caught in his throat. Out of habit, Junsu licked his lips nervously, not knowing what an effect it had on Yoochun, who was observing him closely. Yoochun … I - mmpphhh!
He could not stand idly by and act as if he was indifferent to that fatal action; it had already taken every bit of his self-restrain to stop himself from jumping the man on their way home - there were too many convenient spots along the street … dark alleyways … cheap motels … even the men’s bathroom could have sufficed. He held himself in earlier on, wanting to be the perfect gentleman, but now … nothing could hold him back. Pulling Junsu to him and killing the distance between them, Yoochun sealed those alluring lips with his, amused at how quickly the other man went from resisting to accepting in the matter of seconds, compliant and responsive under the spell of his enticing kisses. Nudging the door close behind their closely pressed bodies, he felt a tremor heading straight down south as Junsu moaned into his mouth wantonly, hips unconsciously pressed up against his to increase the friction between their need. I know you want me, Kim Junsu, Yoochun whispered, show me the real you.
Junsu could have died under the spell the lustful gaze had over his being. Yes, he whispered incoherently, yes, yes, yes -
Just let me taste a little of heaven on my lips, and I’ll be satisfied.
***
They were cuddled together in bed, and he had his arms wrapped loosely around his thin, flat waist, but it felt like his heart was still miles out of his grasp.
Junsu … Yoochun closed the gap between them as he caressed the silky brown locks, trying to get the other man to look at him, but Junsu merely let out a small grunt of acknowledge before fluttering his eyelids shut again. Junsu, Yoochun tried again, and this time, the other man opened his eyes fully to look at him.
The insecurity was apparent in his eyes. Junsu … why won’t you let me in? You can trust me, you know, Yoochun’s fingers skimmed lightly across the surface of his skin. Breaking the eye contact, Junsu turned away from him and pretended to sleep.
Yoochun-ah … the problem is, I’m scared, because I’ve never trusted anyone as much as I trusted you.
***
His body clock had been thrown into chaos again. Oh, yes … how he hated this feeling. Where the hell was Kim Junsu?! It was 5.26pm in the afternoon and Junsu was nowhere to be found in the apartment. Yoochun grabbed his pants and rummaged through his pockets, successfully locating his phone. Frantically, he punched in a random string of numbers.
Hello? Junsu’s soft, husky voice came over the line and Yoochun breathed a little easier.
Kim Junsu, where in the world have you disappeared to? He was almost yelling now. First you play with my feelings, then you reject me, and then you disappear after a night of mind-blowing sex! What do you take me for, huh!?! Yoochun was sure the neighbours could hear his roar of exasperation now.
He heard a soft sigh, before Junsu gradually spoke. Yoochun-ah … here’s the deal. If you can find me before 12am at midnight today, I’ll let you in.
What?!
The line went dead. Damnit, Yoochun redialed the number only to find a female voice announcing coolly the number you just dialed is unavailable, please try again later -
Yoochun threw his phone down in aggravation. He had to give it a shot.
Kim Junsu, wait till I get hold of you, you little -
- You little idiot who stole my heart.
***
Junsu turned off his phone and stowed it in his pocket. Mercifully, he had remembered to don a woolen scarf before leaving the house today - it was freezing and he was almost unable to feel the tip of his nose. Walking leisurely over the wet grass, Junsu raised his head to look up at the sky. Dark clouds were gathering in masses, congregating to form a huge grey body. It didn’t need a genius to know that a thunderstorm was going to reign tonight.
Clasping his hands together, Junsu made a silent prayer.
Dear God, please give me strength in my faith.
***
Gripping the steering wheel tightly in both hands, Yoochun maneuvered his car down the streets of Seoul, hoping desperately to spot a sign, any sign of the person he was looking for.
There was none.
***
Junsu looked at the unblinking luminous digits on the clock, willing them to slow down with his mind. He did not bother with taking off his long overcoat ever since he stepped indoors but he could still feel the cold seeping in and chilling his heart. Lifting his knees to his chest, he curled up into a ball in the corner of the large, spacious couch.
***
He was starting to despair. Running around the few places he knew would have little likelihood of Junsu’s appearance, Yoochun let out a strangled cry of frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. Pulling back his sleeve to look at the time, the feeling of despondency was stronger than ever. Time was running out. And God did not seem to be on his side tonight.
Park Yoochun was officially pissed off. How could Kim Junsu place all his feelings on a gamble? What if he lost? What if Junsu was hiding in a hole somewhere, never to be found? Or worse, knowing he would never be found by Yoochun? Junsu never mentioned how he felt towards him. What if Junsu never had the intentions of accepting him in any way?
He let out a low growl. If Kim Junsu decided to leave it up to Fate, so would he.
Kim Junsu, if I can’t find you by midnight, I’ll forget I ever met you and move on.
Gritting his teeth, he hurried down a small lane that would take him back to his apartment with a little voice echoing in his head. Easier said than done, Park Yoochun, easier said than done.
***
His eyelids were growing heavy, and he blinked slowly, still keeping his eyes trained on the small clock. 23:49pm, it read, and Junsu began to feel the first wisps of hopelessness. Yoochun was probably still out there somewhere, trying to look for him in every nook and cranny of Seoul city. Junsu chuckled quietly, imagining how Yoochun would probably be brushing his hair away from his wide forehead in vexation, brows creased and lips pursed. Stupid Yoochun, Junsu thought, will you ever think of coming here?
Unable to resist exhaustion from overtaking him, Junsu fell asleep with a small, expectant smile. Even if you’re never going to find me, I’ll be waiting here for you.
24:01am, and no Park Yoochun.
He did not hear the hasty footsteps, did not hear the rough manhandling of the door as it burst open, did not hear the loud pants and irregular breathing of a very tired, very irate Park Yoochun as he gazed down at the sleeping form of the man he had been searching for all night.
It was odd; how Junsu could be sleeping fitfully throughout it all while he scoured the entire area, almost turning the entire city upside down and yet every bit of resentment flew out of the window when he eventually found him. Caressing the cheek of his loved one, Yoochun noted how cold it was. How long had he been waiting here for him?
Circling Junsu in his arms, he bent down and captured the pair of smiling lips with his own warm ones, nibbling lightly at the moist flesh, trying to coax the other to react to his advances. When Junsu began to stir blearily, Yoochun deepened the kiss, tracing the curves over and over again with the tip of his tongue.
His face was flooded with colour once Yoochun let go of him. Inhaling a lungful of air, Junsu didn’t have time to respond before other man grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him again.
You’ve been a naughty boy, Su-ah, leading me on with games. Yoochun murmured dangerously as he nipped playfully down Junsu’s jaw, feeling satisfied as the other went limp in his arms, powerless under his ministrations. Now that I’ve won, I’m going to claim my prize, hmmm? His fingers moved stealthily into the gap between skin and fabric, ghosting over the lean muscles, and moving downwards, the pleasurable tingles causing Junsu to let out a small whimper and arc his hips against his.
Don’t run away from me anymore, Su-ah, Yoochun whispered, his voice low and deep. I will keep you inside here, forever. Grasping Junsu’s hand in his, Yoochun pressed the smaller palm to the left side of his chest, where the latter could feel the steady rhythmic pounding of Yoochun’s heart.
A glistening drop of tear escaped the corner of Junsu’s eye. It was the promise he always wanted. It was the salvation he always needed. It was the man he loved. This time, he finally felt the warmth engulf his heart, spreading to his entire being.
The thunderstorm he expected never came.
***
8.03a.m. and the morning sunshine was flitting into the room through the translucent white curtains.
It was a whole new feeling to wake up in the warm arms of another, to open his eyes knowing that someone wanted him. Junsu smiled. The white curtains had to go, Junsu made a mental note to remind himself, and so did the white sheets, the white furniture, the marble floor …
And don’t forget your wardrobe. I’m definitely putting some colours on you, Su-ah. Yoochun rasped suddenly, startling Junsu. You can’t do that, Junsu protested, I like white.
Oh yes I can … Yoochun leaned in to nuzzle against Junsu’s neck, drawing giggles from the latter. ‘Coz I like blue on you. But it’s all right if you can’t make up your mind. I won’t be complaining if you decide to go naked instead.
Park Yoochun!
Okay, okay, Yoochun caught Junsu’s flailing wrists in both hands. I’ll go naked for you.
Blushing furiously, Junsu avoided all eye contact until Yoochun pressed their foreheads together, bringing him to gaze into the warm, chocolate orbs that stole his breath away.
forever?
forever.
***