Knowing The Way (To You)
Title: Knowing The Way (To You)
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun
Guest Appearance: Kim Taeyeon
Genre: Fluff, light angst, romance
Length: Oneshot, 3115 words
Rating: G
Summary: Yoochun's imagination gets the better of him.
A/N: Based loosely off One by DBSK. Originally a Christmas shot, but I decided to change it after reading yoosu_sarang's A Reason For Goodbye. For my ever supportive Kim sleeplesshadow and newly-made friend peachinlabel. (lyric credits) Beware: Mindless fluff and nothing more.
Knowing The Way (To You)
It’s dark outside and he’s beginning to feel very worried.
9.27pm~ the clock singsongs mockingly. Yoochun’s hand twitches, itching to throw something (like the ladle in his hand) at the smiling ducky face but restrains himself from doing so, knowing full well how much Junsu loved loves the pesky little thing. Sitting down on their old wicker chair (and jumping as it creaks loudly), Yoochun tries to calm his frazzled nerves.
What if he got into an accident? What if his perverted boss rapes him? What if he decides to leave me? What if -
The sound of a key turning in the keyhole startles him. In the next two seconds, his favourite person in the world appears, bundled in an assortment of colorful scarves and a heavy black overcoat, tripping clumsily over the fuzzy slippers Yoochun prepared in the hallway.
Junsu-ah! Yoochun exclaims in relief and leaps at the smaller man, wrapping his arms around him (ladle and all) and nuzzles his warm cheek against the cooler one. Junsu-ah, I missed you sooooo much!
When he received no response from the younger, Yoochun looks down only to see that Junsu had fallen asleep, eyes closed prettily and rosy lips slightly parted.
Sighing, Yoochun sets the ladle down and half-drags, half-carries Junsu to their bedroom. It wasn’t the first time Junsu had come home from work exhausted, and he knew it wasn’t going to be the last time as well.
***
Yoochun tiptoes into the room half an hour later, shutting the door quietly so as not to disturb his loved one. There was a mountain of dishes in the sink that Yoochun had tried to avoid smashing from his fit of irritation and anger (that it had been the fourth time this week where Junsu had returned home late, and not to mention skipping all his dinners) and a whole load of laundry waiting to be done, but he decides that he’ll give himself a night off daily chores.
Slipping under the covers, Yoochun pulls back and jumps (for the second time that night) as he comes eye-to-eye with Junsu, who’s wide awake and staring thoughtfully at him. Yoochun very nearly screams out loud but swallows his shriek just in time.
Junsu-ah … Yoochun begins, but Junsu cuts him short. Let’s sleep.
Sitting up, he turns the bedside lamp off and is greeted by the blinding darkness …. And a warm embrace that refuses to let him go.
Junsu-ah, Yoochun says playfully, poorly-masked pleasure in his voice, you were waiting for me to come to bed, weren’t you? Weren’t you? he presses eagerly.
Trying to free himself (but failing) from the clutches of Yoochun who stubbornly clung onto him, Junsu reaches up for his boyfriend’s face and pats it, somewhat fondly. Let’s sleep, Chun, I’m tired.
Fatigue claiming his senses, Junsu tries (this time, successfully) to ignore the astonished exclamations of you called me Chun! and excited squeals of Su, I love you, I love you! and feels a series of passionate kisses pressed breathlessly against his jaw before he falls into a deep slumber (with a small smile).
***
Yoochun gives his co-worker, Jaejoong, a thumbs up through the glass as the other Korean mouths five, four, three, two, one and flicks a red button on the dashboard.
Annyeong-haseyo! You’re currently listening to Soulmates’ Talk! Yoochun’s cheerful, bass voice fills the recording studio and warms the hearts of his listeners. This is your favourite DJ, Micky Park, how are all of you tonight? First up, before our usual call-in session, let’s listen to a song by Dong Bang Shin Ki, from their Rising Sun album, One.
Yoochun slips off his headphones soon after the first lines of the melodious song begin to play on air. The soft, soothing voices of the famous acapella boy band calms his senses and somehow he’s reminded of the times he’d spent with Junsu.
The days I've been dreaming of, are already here,
I feel it through your hand that I'm holding now
Because you might’ve been too far away,
I wasn't able to say when I've been keeping my feelings hidden
What are you feeling?
Even that distant future reflecting from your eyes,
Is all of it mine?
I guess I’m living. Thank you, for I have everything.
Someday I´ll lay my love on you.
Baby I don´t wanna lose it now.
Just one, there's only you
Let each day be like the first time we met
You're the reason I live
These feelings are only for you
You know it
Finding himself suddenly overcome by a wave of longing, Yoochun picks up his phone and texts Junsu, hoping the latter would see it in time.
Su-ah, let’s have dinner together! \(=^O^=)/~
Surprisingly, the reply came almost immediately. Yoochun’s spirits lifted, only to be crushed by the three words on the screen.
Working overtime tonight
It was just like Junsu to reply without any form of punctuation or emoticons, but nonetheless, it served its purpose well. Instantly, his mood is dampened and Yoochun puts his phone away, feeling rather dejected.
Jaejoong gives him a firm nod and he gets back to work, the last lines of the song still reverberating in his ears.
These feelings are only for you, you know it.
He wonders if Junsu knows.
***
Yeoboseyo! It’s Micky Park here, how may I address you? Yoochun tries to inject more enthusiasm into his tone as he picks up the first call-in of the night. A soft, gentle voice comes over the line and it’s obvious that the caller is undoubtedly female.
My name is Kim Taeyeon, comes a quiet whisper. I’m planning to break up with my boyfriend, utters the lady simply with fierce determination.
If you don’t mind me asking, why, Miss Kim? Yoochun probes patiently.
It’s my birthday today but the bastard stood me up at the restaurant, telling me he had to work overtime. He didn’t even bother apologising to me, the asshole! Yoochun winces as the lady screeches in agitation down the phone, but soon gets hit by déjà vu.
Come to think of it, he isn’t much better off with Junsu.
I think he’s cheating on me. What do you think? If he’s cheating on me, I swear, I’ll tear him from limb to limb! Yoochun is astounded by how violent the soft-spoken lady could get and secretly fears for her boyfriend.
Miss Kim, relax. I don’t think your boyfriend is cheating on you. Yoochun says soothingly. In fact, I think he’s planning a surprise for you.
A surprise for me? A glimmer of hope brought the lady’s tone up a few notes. What kind of surprise?
Like you said, it’s your birthday today. You might want to go home and check if he’s already waiting there for you with a bunch of roses and a huge birthday cake in hand …
There was a pregnant pause, until -
Shit, I think you’re right. I see his car below my apartment.
Yoochun breaks into a small, sad smile. Well, good luck to you, Miss Kim. I wish you a happy birthday tonight.
Thanks, Micky. Thank you! Joyfully, the lady hangs up the phone, and Yoochun can almost imagine her expression of bliss, brimming with happiness.
Disconnecting the line, Yoochun tastes the bitterness under his tongue and grimaces. He thought that he had already found happiness with Junsu, but where was it now?
***
That night, Yoochun creeps into bed and lies down back-to-back with Junsu. He feels the other’s gaze boring into somewhere between the fifth and seventh curve of his spine and decides to give Junsu another chance.
Su-ah, Yoochun swallows. I’m taking the day off tomorrow. Let’s go on a date. He does not mention that it is their third anniversary together, and doubts that the younger man remembers anyway. Fiddling with the edge of the sheets, Yoochun feels the first tendrils of panic rising when Junsu remains silent.
Alright. The slight hesitation bothers him but the reply was more than satisfactory. He relaxes his fingers and turns around to face the calm pair of eyes that (he loved) revealed no ripples of emotion.
Alright. Junsu repeats, and pats Yoochun’s face. Let’s sleep.
Yoochun gathers the other man in his arms involuntarily and shivers as he realises how cold he had been without Junsu’s warmth.
***
He wakes up with excitement gnawing at his stomach full of butterflies and he doesn’t deny that he’s anticipating the date ahead terribly. After he sends off Junsu to work (but not before planting a noisy morning kiss on his lips), Yoochun hums One under his breath and goes about doing the daily chores without complaint.
He conveniently misses the faint blush that settles upon Junsu’s cheeks as he leaves their home in a fluster, the loud sounds of a vacuum breezing around the house drowning out the small giggle that escapes his lips.
Nothing could ruin Yoochun’s mood now. Nothing.
***
Or so as he thought.
Sorry, OT tonight
Just great, Yoochun thinks. He (must have been) is the biggest fool in the world for hoping that the busiest man in the world (aka his lover) would actually be free for once, just once. He glares at the offending message and wishes that he could smash his phone to smithereens against the walls of their home (just likes all his hopes) but it was a gift that (he had pestered Junsu into buying) Junsu had bought him and he (didn’t want to) couldn’t bear to.
At least there was a Sorry this time, but it didn’t make things any better.
Utter disappointment drenches Yoochun completely from head to toe and he tries not to feel as miserable as a five-year-old with his favourite toy taken from him.
He succeeds, feeling way worse.
***
Jaejoong-ah, Yoochun’s voice is muffled under the covers; I think I’m coming to work tonight.
What do you mean ‘you think’? What happened to your date? Jaejoong mutters distractedly, in the midst of ransacking his locker for his favourite Wednesday night sweater - the one with yellow and black stripes - with one ear pressed against his phone.
Cancelled. Yoochun pulls at one corner of the Junsu-smelling covers and uses it to stem the tears coming steadily down his cheeks.
Jaejoong digs through a pile of low V-necks in varying colors and finds the sweater. Cancelled?! I told you he was going to hate the idea of sex in a car -
OT again. Yoochun looks disdainfully down at the ducky prints on the soft fabric and decides to blow his nose with its head.
Oh poor Chunnie. Now he had Jaejoong’s full attention. Come over to the radio station and let hyung comfort you.
Workaholic, Yoochun scolds before ending the call.
He discards the expensive leather shoes and the Bvlgari ring-in-a-box, grabs his favourite slippers and loose jeans, slips on a plain white shirt and completes his desolate look with a black beanie.
Yoochun forgets his favourite grey woollen scarf but he doesn’t remember where he had put it anyway.
***
When I said ‘let hyung comfort you’ I didn’t mean ‘let hyung provide you with sweaters’ was included as an option, Jaejoong takes one look at the shivering Yoochun, nose pink from the cold, fidgeting uncomfortably in the three layers of fake fur sweaters he borrowed.
Jae-hyung, it’s been a great day. I was stood up, Yoochun sniffs, the heater isn’t working and now I’m sitting here listening to you whine about three miserly sweaters you loaned me. He rubs his hands together but it doesn’t feel any better. I should post this on FML.com or something.
Well you certainly can’t blame me for all of that! Jaejoong huffs, but seeing Yoochun’s despondent expression, he holds back his retort. Okay, okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut. He sits back in his chair and resumes what he hopes to be a solemn and meek expression.
Yoochun bursts into loud, appreciative laughter but inside, his heart is still throbbing painfully.
***
When Jaejoong leaves the room and Yoochun is left to silence (and his own wandering thoughts), the smile fades from his face as depression consumes his guts and tears him apart inside.
The sign “On Air” flashes red; once, twice and stays there. Yoochun struggles to keep his mood jolly and laughs genuine throughout the night but the (unshed tears) cold is making his voice crack and the (disappointment) fatigue is causing his laugh to sound closer to sobs.
Jaejoong is looking through the glass pointedly and giving him concerned stares accompanied by the occasional sigh but Yoochun doesn’t really care at this point (he cares more about the one who doesn’t didn’t).
***
It’s 11.50pm and the night (of their third anniversary) is almost over. Yoochun appears half-dead and is slouched in his seat, buried up to his nose in the mass of fur and feathers. Jaejoong pastes a green sticky on the glass to tell him one last call and you’re free to go and Yoochun neither raises his head nor responds.
The phone rings and Yoochun makes no move to pick it up, so Jaejoong connects the line for him.
Hi. An awfully familiar voice comes over the line and Yoochun springs up immediately, recognising it.
Mmmm, how long do I have till the end of the show? The caller asks, his husky voice ringing in Yoochun’s ears but it’s currently all he can hear anyway.
You … You have ten minutes. Yoochun finally finds his tongue.
Okay. Yoochun-ah, I’m sorry. Without warning, the apology strikes him like a second lightning bolt and he feels close to tears.
Is … Is this a confession to your loved one? That’s really romantic, it’s taking a great effort for Yoochun to move his lips but the words just fall professionally and helplessly.
Yoochun-ah, I’m sorry for standing you up today. I know that it’s our third anniversary together, and I’m sorry for letting you down again like the asshole I usually am.
Yoochun-ah … I know that you love me, because … I love you too.
His cheeks are wet and his eyes are blinking rapidly but it just keeps falling, coming down like warm syrup and rain.
I’m not very good at expressing my feelings … but I feel happy when I’m together with you. I don’t know how to tell you that I love you to your face and I tense up when you pull me in for a hug. I blush like a teenage girl when you kiss me and my heart races in my chest yet I don’t know how to show it on the outside. I look forward to going home from work and seeing you even though I’m so exhausted I feel like camping permanently at the office. I’m sorry, Yoochun-ah, for not telling you this earlier, for making you wait all this time for just three simple words.
There’s still six minutes till the night of our third anniversary ends, and I just want to tell you … Thank you for loving me, Yoochun-ah.
Yoochun bites his lip and tries not to cry out loud.
It’s really cold out tonight. Yoochun-ah, I know you can’t stand the cold, so I brought you some of your favourite ginseng tea, piping hot! He distinctly makes out the sounds of Junsu rubbing his hands together fervently and wishes he could be beside him in an instant to kiss his cool hands, to warm them in his pockets, to touch every inch of his skin. I know you’ll be too upset to remember anything … so I brought your favourite grey woollen scarf for you. Junsu chuckles. The one I hid on purpose because I wanted to have something that smelt of you by my side.
Yoochun feels like the biggest idiot in the universe. How could he have been so stupid to think that he was the only giving party in the relationship without receiving any form of reciprocation? How could he have ever doubted Junsu for not caring? How could he have suspected Junsu’s real feelings? How could he have been so blind, for not seeing it earlier (and saving himself a lot more trouble)?
Jaejoong bangs on the glass and Yoochun looks up with red-rimmed eyes. There’s barely four minutes left to midnight. A second pink sticky is stuck right beside the green one.
Run along.
And he did.
***
He screeches to a halt in front of the main entrance of the radio station, (misty) eyes scanning the handful of passer-bys left on the streets and resting on a huddled figure in the corner, with one hand wrapped tightly around a navy blue thermos flask and a grey, cross-patterned woollen scarf dangling from the other. Snow is falling gently in little flakes and leaving white traces in the places it graced.
Junsu-ah! Yoochun calls loudly, unable to hold himself in and runs to join Junsu in the frigid cold. The said man turns around and meets face-first with a furry embrace smelling of Yoochun and mothballs.
Before Junsu is able to free himself, Yoochun is already weeping cool tears of joy into his bare neck. You came, Junsu-ah, you came!
Yoochun-ah … I can’t breathe. A thin, muffled voice issues from underneath the fake fur and feathers and Yoochun releases his grip on Junsu temporarily, chortling a little.
Cry-baby. You’re a sight, Junsu teases, lifting a hand to dry Yoochun’s cheeks. Only for you, Yoochun snivels, but now more from happiness than anything else - his heart is already toasty warm.
Junsu loops one end of the scarf around Yoochun’s neck and the other around his own, then places small kisses on Yoochun’s puffy eyelids. Yoochun-ah … let’s go home. His actions momentarily confuses the latter but Yoochun (isn’t going to let go of the golden opportunity) wants more.
He points and pouts.
Yoochun-ah, we’re in public, Junsu protests weakly, cheeks flushing a pretty pink. Yoochun shakes his head no and motions (to his lips) again.
Well … Junsu glances around them before pressing his lips to Yoochun’s lightly, curves fitting together perfectly. Seizing the chance, the older man grabs the back of Junsu’s head and deepens the kiss, intoxicated by the taste of the one he loved.
Mmmm. Junsu is struggling of lack of air but hell, no, Yoochun isn’t letting go.
In the distance, the clock tower strikes midnight.
We can last forever, anywhere in the world
Just one, there's only you
My one and only love
There's no one else besides you
I know this; I'll believe it … for eternity
***
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun
Guest Appearance: Kim Taeyeon
Genre: Fluff, light angst, romance
Length: Oneshot, 3115 words
Rating: G
Summary: Yoochun's imagination gets the better of him.
A/N: Based loosely off One by DBSK. Originally a Christmas shot, but I decided to change it after reading yoosu_sarang's A Reason For Goodbye. For my ever supportive Kim sleeplesshadow and newly-made friend peachinlabel. (lyric credits) Beware: Mindless fluff and nothing more.
Knowing The Way (To You)
It’s dark outside and he’s beginning to feel very worried.
9.27pm~ the clock singsongs mockingly. Yoochun’s hand twitches, itching to throw something (like the ladle in his hand) at the smiling ducky face but restrains himself from doing so, knowing full well how much Junsu loved loves the pesky little thing. Sitting down on their old wicker chair (and jumping as it creaks loudly), Yoochun tries to calm his frazzled nerves.
What if he got into an accident? What if his perverted boss rapes him? What if he decides to leave me? What if -
The sound of a key turning in the keyhole startles him. In the next two seconds, his favourite person in the world appears, bundled in an assortment of colorful scarves and a heavy black overcoat, tripping clumsily over the fuzzy slippers Yoochun prepared in the hallway.
Junsu-ah! Yoochun exclaims in relief and leaps at the smaller man, wrapping his arms around him (ladle and all) and nuzzles his warm cheek against the cooler one. Junsu-ah, I missed you sooooo much!
When he received no response from the younger, Yoochun looks down only to see that Junsu had fallen asleep, eyes closed prettily and rosy lips slightly parted.
Sighing, Yoochun sets the ladle down and half-drags, half-carries Junsu to their bedroom. It wasn’t the first time Junsu had come home from work exhausted, and he knew it wasn’t going to be the last time as well.
***
Yoochun tiptoes into the room half an hour later, shutting the door quietly so as not to disturb his loved one. There was a mountain of dishes in the sink that Yoochun had tried to avoid smashing from his fit of irritation and anger (that it had been the fourth time this week where Junsu had returned home late, and not to mention skipping all his dinners) and a whole load of laundry waiting to be done, but he decides that he’ll give himself a night off daily chores.
Slipping under the covers, Yoochun pulls back and jumps (for the second time that night) as he comes eye-to-eye with Junsu, who’s wide awake and staring thoughtfully at him. Yoochun very nearly screams out loud but swallows his shriek just in time.
Junsu-ah … Yoochun begins, but Junsu cuts him short. Let’s sleep.
Sitting up, he turns the bedside lamp off and is greeted by the blinding darkness …. And a warm embrace that refuses to let him go.
Junsu-ah, Yoochun says playfully, poorly-masked pleasure in his voice, you were waiting for me to come to bed, weren’t you? Weren’t you? he presses eagerly.
Trying to free himself (but failing) from the clutches of Yoochun who stubbornly clung onto him, Junsu reaches up for his boyfriend’s face and pats it, somewhat fondly. Let’s sleep, Chun, I’m tired.
Fatigue claiming his senses, Junsu tries (this time, successfully) to ignore the astonished exclamations of you called me Chun! and excited squeals of Su, I love you, I love you! and feels a series of passionate kisses pressed breathlessly against his jaw before he falls into a deep slumber (with a small smile).
***
Yoochun gives his co-worker, Jaejoong, a thumbs up through the glass as the other Korean mouths five, four, three, two, one and flicks a red button on the dashboard.
Annyeong-haseyo! You’re currently listening to Soulmates’ Talk! Yoochun’s cheerful, bass voice fills the recording studio and warms the hearts of his listeners. This is your favourite DJ, Micky Park, how are all of you tonight? First up, before our usual call-in session, let’s listen to a song by Dong Bang Shin Ki, from their Rising Sun album, One.
Yoochun slips off his headphones soon after the first lines of the melodious song begin to play on air. The soft, soothing voices of the famous acapella boy band calms his senses and somehow he’s reminded of the times he’d spent with Junsu.
The days I've been dreaming of, are already here,
I feel it through your hand that I'm holding now
Because you might’ve been too far away,
I wasn't able to say when I've been keeping my feelings hidden
What are you feeling?
Even that distant future reflecting from your eyes,
Is all of it mine?
I guess I’m living. Thank you, for I have everything.
Someday I´ll lay my love on you.
Baby I don´t wanna lose it now.
Just one, there's only you
Let each day be like the first time we met
You're the reason I live
These feelings are only for you
You know it
Finding himself suddenly overcome by a wave of longing, Yoochun picks up his phone and texts Junsu, hoping the latter would see it in time.
Su-ah, let’s have dinner together! \(=^O^=)/~
Surprisingly, the reply came almost immediately. Yoochun’s spirits lifted, only to be crushed by the three words on the screen.
Working overtime tonight
It was just like Junsu to reply without any form of punctuation or emoticons, but nonetheless, it served its purpose well. Instantly, his mood is dampened and Yoochun puts his phone away, feeling rather dejected.
Jaejoong gives him a firm nod and he gets back to work, the last lines of the song still reverberating in his ears.
These feelings are only for you, you know it.
He wonders if Junsu knows.
***
Yeoboseyo! It’s Micky Park here, how may I address you? Yoochun tries to inject more enthusiasm into his tone as he picks up the first call-in of the night. A soft, gentle voice comes over the line and it’s obvious that the caller is undoubtedly female.
My name is Kim Taeyeon, comes a quiet whisper. I’m planning to break up with my boyfriend, utters the lady simply with fierce determination.
If you don’t mind me asking, why, Miss Kim? Yoochun probes patiently.
It’s my birthday today but the bastard stood me up at the restaurant, telling me he had to work overtime. He didn’t even bother apologising to me, the asshole! Yoochun winces as the lady screeches in agitation down the phone, but soon gets hit by déjà vu.
Come to think of it, he isn’t much better off with Junsu.
I think he’s cheating on me. What do you think? If he’s cheating on me, I swear, I’ll tear him from limb to limb! Yoochun is astounded by how violent the soft-spoken lady could get and secretly fears for her boyfriend.
Miss Kim, relax. I don’t think your boyfriend is cheating on you. Yoochun says soothingly. In fact, I think he’s planning a surprise for you.
A surprise for me? A glimmer of hope brought the lady’s tone up a few notes. What kind of surprise?
Like you said, it’s your birthday today. You might want to go home and check if he’s already waiting there for you with a bunch of roses and a huge birthday cake in hand …
There was a pregnant pause, until -
Shit, I think you’re right. I see his car below my apartment.
Yoochun breaks into a small, sad smile. Well, good luck to you, Miss Kim. I wish you a happy birthday tonight.
Thanks, Micky. Thank you! Joyfully, the lady hangs up the phone, and Yoochun can almost imagine her expression of bliss, brimming with happiness.
Disconnecting the line, Yoochun tastes the bitterness under his tongue and grimaces. He thought that he had already found happiness with Junsu, but where was it now?
***
That night, Yoochun creeps into bed and lies down back-to-back with Junsu. He feels the other’s gaze boring into somewhere between the fifth and seventh curve of his spine and decides to give Junsu another chance.
Su-ah, Yoochun swallows. I’m taking the day off tomorrow. Let’s go on a date. He does not mention that it is their third anniversary together, and doubts that the younger man remembers anyway. Fiddling with the edge of the sheets, Yoochun feels the first tendrils of panic rising when Junsu remains silent.
Alright. The slight hesitation bothers him but the reply was more than satisfactory. He relaxes his fingers and turns around to face the calm pair of eyes that (he loved) revealed no ripples of emotion.
Alright. Junsu repeats, and pats Yoochun’s face. Let’s sleep.
Yoochun gathers the other man in his arms involuntarily and shivers as he realises how cold he had been without Junsu’s warmth.
***
He wakes up with excitement gnawing at his stomach full of butterflies and he doesn’t deny that he’s anticipating the date ahead terribly. After he sends off Junsu to work (but not before planting a noisy morning kiss on his lips), Yoochun hums One under his breath and goes about doing the daily chores without complaint.
He conveniently misses the faint blush that settles upon Junsu’s cheeks as he leaves their home in a fluster, the loud sounds of a vacuum breezing around the house drowning out the small giggle that escapes his lips.
Nothing could ruin Yoochun’s mood now. Nothing.
***
Or so as he thought.
Sorry, OT tonight
Just great, Yoochun thinks. He (must have been) is the biggest fool in the world for hoping that the busiest man in the world (aka his lover) would actually be free for once, just once. He glares at the offending message and wishes that he could smash his phone to smithereens against the walls of their home (just likes all his hopes) but it was a gift that (he had pestered Junsu into buying) Junsu had bought him and he (didn’t want to) couldn’t bear to.
At least there was a Sorry this time, but it didn’t make things any better.
Utter disappointment drenches Yoochun completely from head to toe and he tries not to feel as miserable as a five-year-old with his favourite toy taken from him.
He succeeds, feeling way worse.
***
Jaejoong-ah, Yoochun’s voice is muffled under the covers; I think I’m coming to work tonight.
What do you mean ‘you think’? What happened to your date? Jaejoong mutters distractedly, in the midst of ransacking his locker for his favourite Wednesday night sweater - the one with yellow and black stripes - with one ear pressed against his phone.
Cancelled. Yoochun pulls at one corner of the Junsu-smelling covers and uses it to stem the tears coming steadily down his cheeks.
Jaejoong digs through a pile of low V-necks in varying colors and finds the sweater. Cancelled?! I told you he was going to hate the idea of sex in a car -
OT again. Yoochun looks disdainfully down at the ducky prints on the soft fabric and decides to blow his nose with its head.
Oh poor Chunnie. Now he had Jaejoong’s full attention. Come over to the radio station and let hyung comfort you.
Workaholic, Yoochun scolds before ending the call.
He discards the expensive leather shoes and the Bvlgari ring-in-a-box, grabs his favourite slippers and loose jeans, slips on a plain white shirt and completes his desolate look with a black beanie.
Yoochun forgets his favourite grey woollen scarf but he doesn’t remember where he had put it anyway.
***
When I said ‘let hyung comfort you’ I didn’t mean ‘let hyung provide you with sweaters’ was included as an option, Jaejoong takes one look at the shivering Yoochun, nose pink from the cold, fidgeting uncomfortably in the three layers of fake fur sweaters he borrowed.
Jae-hyung, it’s been a great day. I was stood up, Yoochun sniffs, the heater isn’t working and now I’m sitting here listening to you whine about three miserly sweaters you loaned me. He rubs his hands together but it doesn’t feel any better. I should post this on FML.com or something.
Well you certainly can’t blame me for all of that! Jaejoong huffs, but seeing Yoochun’s despondent expression, he holds back his retort. Okay, okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut. He sits back in his chair and resumes what he hopes to be a solemn and meek expression.
Yoochun bursts into loud, appreciative laughter but inside, his heart is still throbbing painfully.
***
When Jaejoong leaves the room and Yoochun is left to silence (and his own wandering thoughts), the smile fades from his face as depression consumes his guts and tears him apart inside.
The sign “On Air” flashes red; once, twice and stays there. Yoochun struggles to keep his mood jolly and laughs genuine throughout the night but the (unshed tears) cold is making his voice crack and the (disappointment) fatigue is causing his laugh to sound closer to sobs.
Jaejoong is looking through the glass pointedly and giving him concerned stares accompanied by the occasional sigh but Yoochun doesn’t really care at this point (he cares more about the one who doesn’t didn’t).
***
It’s 11.50pm and the night (of their third anniversary) is almost over. Yoochun appears half-dead and is slouched in his seat, buried up to his nose in the mass of fur and feathers. Jaejoong pastes a green sticky on the glass to tell him one last call and you’re free to go and Yoochun neither raises his head nor responds.
The phone rings and Yoochun makes no move to pick it up, so Jaejoong connects the line for him.
Hi. An awfully familiar voice comes over the line and Yoochun springs up immediately, recognising it.
Mmmm, how long do I have till the end of the show? The caller asks, his husky voice ringing in Yoochun’s ears but it’s currently all he can hear anyway.
You … You have ten minutes. Yoochun finally finds his tongue.
Okay. Yoochun-ah, I’m sorry. Without warning, the apology strikes him like a second lightning bolt and he feels close to tears.
Is … Is this a confession to your loved one? That’s really romantic, it’s taking a great effort for Yoochun to move his lips but the words just fall professionally and helplessly.
Yoochun-ah, I’m sorry for standing you up today. I know that it’s our third anniversary together, and I’m sorry for letting you down again like the asshole I usually am.
Yoochun-ah … I know that you love me, because … I love you too.
His cheeks are wet and his eyes are blinking rapidly but it just keeps falling, coming down like warm syrup and rain.
I’m not very good at expressing my feelings … but I feel happy when I’m together with you. I don’t know how to tell you that I love you to your face and I tense up when you pull me in for a hug. I blush like a teenage girl when you kiss me and my heart races in my chest yet I don’t know how to show it on the outside. I look forward to going home from work and seeing you even though I’m so exhausted I feel like camping permanently at the office. I’m sorry, Yoochun-ah, for not telling you this earlier, for making you wait all this time for just three simple words.
There’s still six minutes till the night of our third anniversary ends, and I just want to tell you … Thank you for loving me, Yoochun-ah.
Yoochun bites his lip and tries not to cry out loud.
It’s really cold out tonight. Yoochun-ah, I know you can’t stand the cold, so I brought you some of your favourite ginseng tea, piping hot! He distinctly makes out the sounds of Junsu rubbing his hands together fervently and wishes he could be beside him in an instant to kiss his cool hands, to warm them in his pockets, to touch every inch of his skin. I know you’ll be too upset to remember anything … so I brought your favourite grey woollen scarf for you. Junsu chuckles. The one I hid on purpose because I wanted to have something that smelt of you by my side.
Yoochun feels like the biggest idiot in the universe. How could he have been so stupid to think that he was the only giving party in the relationship without receiving any form of reciprocation? How could he have ever doubted Junsu for not caring? How could he have suspected Junsu’s real feelings? How could he have been so blind, for not seeing it earlier (and saving himself a lot more trouble)?
Jaejoong bangs on the glass and Yoochun looks up with red-rimmed eyes. There’s barely four minutes left to midnight. A second pink sticky is stuck right beside the green one.
Run along.
And he did.
***
He screeches to a halt in front of the main entrance of the radio station, (misty) eyes scanning the handful of passer-bys left on the streets and resting on a huddled figure in the corner, with one hand wrapped tightly around a navy blue thermos flask and a grey, cross-patterned woollen scarf dangling from the other. Snow is falling gently in little flakes and leaving white traces in the places it graced.
Junsu-ah! Yoochun calls loudly, unable to hold himself in and runs to join Junsu in the frigid cold. The said man turns around and meets face-first with a furry embrace smelling of Yoochun and mothballs.
Before Junsu is able to free himself, Yoochun is already weeping cool tears of joy into his bare neck. You came, Junsu-ah, you came!
Yoochun-ah … I can’t breathe. A thin, muffled voice issues from underneath the fake fur and feathers and Yoochun releases his grip on Junsu temporarily, chortling a little.
Cry-baby. You’re a sight, Junsu teases, lifting a hand to dry Yoochun’s cheeks. Only for you, Yoochun snivels, but now more from happiness than anything else - his heart is already toasty warm.
Junsu loops one end of the scarf around Yoochun’s neck and the other around his own, then places small kisses on Yoochun’s puffy eyelids. Yoochun-ah … let’s go home. His actions momentarily confuses the latter but Yoochun (isn’t going to let go of the golden opportunity) wants more.
He points and pouts.
Yoochun-ah, we’re in public, Junsu protests weakly, cheeks flushing a pretty pink. Yoochun shakes his head no and motions (to his lips) again.
Well … Junsu glances around them before pressing his lips to Yoochun’s lightly, curves fitting together perfectly. Seizing the chance, the older man grabs the back of Junsu’s head and deepens the kiss, intoxicated by the taste of the one he loved.
Mmmm. Junsu is struggling of lack of air but hell, no, Yoochun isn’t letting go.
In the distance, the clock tower strikes midnight.
We can last forever, anywhere in the world
Just one, there's only you
My one and only love
There's no one else besides you
I know this; I'll believe it … for eternity
***