Soar High
soar high
ft. Yoosu pairing; Kim Junsu, Park Yoochun, OT5
2803 words.
08.56pm.
Yoochun sees him fall in a wide arc, gracefully, yet comically at the same time.
And laughs it off silently, expecting him to land right on that duck butt of his and stand up rubbing it with a wounded expression on his face like before.
He would never have imagined the dull thud as bone hit the wooden-tiled rehearsal floor in a sickening way.
And instantly, Yoochun knows that Junsu is hurt. Badly.
Panic rises in his throat.
Junsu, Junsu. Junsu, are you okay, Junsu - In a flash, Yunho is there with Jaejoong at his side, checking over the younger member’s foot. Changmin is all hands and feet suddenly; rooted helplessly to the ground. Yoochun does not need to step any closer to notice the weary face turning two shades paler as Junsu tries to get up on his feet. Pushing past Yunho and Jaejoong, he places an arm around the younger and attempts to help him up. His white wife-beater is soaked with sweat from his efforts of perfecting the 9095 dance but he smells so close to Yoochun, so close that he could brush his lips against his.
A second shock hits him like a bolt of lightning when he sees the tears in Junsu’s eyes.
H-Hyung … Junsu mutters weakly, I don’t think I can stand up.
His sentence frightens Yoochun beyond all logical thinking. Fear engulfs his insides and turns them to ice. Yoochun is afraid that he might actually throw up on Junsu.
Jaejoong’s expression is one of horror and shock combined; and is reflected in the other members’ faces. Junsu, their beloved mood-maker of Dong Bang Shin Ki, the one who kept them smiling at their worst; Junsu, the one who never complained and was always polite; Junsu, the one who never allowed any mistakes on his part on stage and offstage; Junsu, the one who showed no sign of weakness and hung on even though he was breaking down on the inside; Junsu, the one who remained smiling and cracking gags even though they were all worn-out and on the edge of collapse.
Junsu, their bright dolphin boy, their source of joy and smiles, their stanchion during performances whose humanly-perfect voice steadied all of them.
Junsu is blinking away his tears furiously, trying not to show his disappointment and anger at himself for making that intolerable mistake that hurt so bad. He brushes off Yoochun’s arm with a clammy hand and takes a step; but plummets to the ground again, facedown.
Everyone now realises the extent of his injury and the world is thrown momentarily off-balance.
Yunho shouts for their manager in a frenzy and Changmin looks at Jaejoong, who now has his arm around Junsu’s and is trying to comfort Junsu with his mellifluous words and fierce resolution set into his beautiful features, It’s okay, Su, it’s okay , just relax now, don’t worry about the performance, you need to rest -
No! Yoochun hears Junsu’s agonised shout, No, Hyung, I need to stand on that stage, I need to, I’m part of Dong Bang Shin Ki, Jaejoong, I have to perform, I’m Xiah Junsu, Xiah Junsu -
His incoherent words are cut off as Jaejoong clutches him to his chest in a tight embrace.
Changmin’s face twists, several emotions flitting across them at once - Anger, sadness, misery, pain. Clenching his fists and scrunching up his face, Changmin stomps out of the rehearsal room and Yoochun hears a choked sob.
Yoochun feels the ache reflected in his heart as tears run freely down his cheeks.
***
10.03pm.
All rehearsals are paused as their manager, literally bawling upon seeing Junsu’s injury, had demanded tearfully that they all get a break while he takes Junsu for a check-up.
And they have been there since. Frozen in their places, each thinking about different things and yet the same thing at the same time.
The clock is ticking incessantly away and it’s beginning to really bother all of them, Yoochun thinks, as he rubs his temples, trying to will away a headache.
Yunho is pacing up and down in their meeting room, folding his hands behind his back. Jaejoong is seated in one of the chairs, gnawing worriedly on one of his knuckles while Changmin is sprawled all over the long wooden desk, his expression blank and Yoochun wants badly to go over to comfort their youngest member but he has no more room in his heart and no more worry to spare for Changmin at the moment.
Suddenly the door creak open, signaling their manager’s return. The four in the room leap up and stare fixatedly at the figures that appear. They are utterly crushed when they see Junsu on a wheelchair, his expression unreadable as he has on his dark sunglasses which he bought back in Korea (and Yoochun had once teased him about) and their manager, whose shoulders are slumped.
Their fate is announced as their manager opens his mouth to speak.
We will cancel the concert. Junsu is unfit to perform tomorrow night.
***
11.17pm.
Junsu, my boy, don’t be stubborn, please -
My decision is final. Manager-hyung, please, let’s not disappoint our fans. Especially those who have come from far away just to catch a glimpse of us. I would never be able to take it if I was a fan and they told me the concert was cancelled. Please, hyung. I promise you that I will do nothing but sing my heart out.
The other four members wait with bated breaths. Their manager has his head in his hands for several minutes before speaking again.
Alright. We will arrange for Junsu to be on a wheelchair on stage. We may have to modify several parts of the performance to accommodate Junsu’s injury … But the concert will go on as usual.
All five of them visibly relax and Yunho goes over to hug Junsu, murmuring in his ear, you naughty boy. You better get well soon before I break your back, with his slight Jeonryeodo accent.
Junsu smiles his trademark grin, a wide smile that is too blinding to Yoochun’s eyes.
Jaejoong envelops both Yunho and Junsu in his arms wordlessly, and Changmin joins in the group hug, not forgetting to tease Junsu, Does this mean your soccer ball’s mine for two months, now, hyung? and earns a clunk on the head, making the two elder members chuckle.
Yoochun doesn’t know what to feel as he makes eye contact with Junsu, who gestures for him to join them. He moves forward slowly. The three make space for him and he brings first one arm, then both arms, around them, feeling the warmth from their bodies spread to his heart and dissolving the fear and worry, bit by bit, replacing it with a strength and hope that only they could give.
Dong Bang Shin Ki, fighting! Xiah Junsu, fighting!
***
4th May 2009, Kobe World Memorial Hall, 9.21pm.
Once again, Yoochun glances over at Junsu, who is clapping delightedly to the lively beat of the song, his bright smile dazzling as usual. Down below the stage, fans are screaming their names wildly, waving their glowsticks in a sea of red.
Tonight, even though they had put in more effort than usual to make up for the loss of Junsu’s participation in their dance songs, they had been inevitably distracted and affected by Junsu’s injury. Jaejoong had messed up at the start and had to scramble onto the platform; then later on, he accidentally fluffed up a line during Stand By U. Yoochun himself forgot a line during Wasurenaide and even Yunho, Yunho, their leader, made a mistake on their positions.
It was all because of Junsu, Yoochun grumbles, if that stupid idiot hadn’t injured himself, we wouldn’t be like this now. And what further fueled his anger and jealousy was that Jaejoong had offered earlier to be Junsu’s guardian for the night, pushing his wheelchair around during slow songs, placing both arms on Junsu’s shoulders, which made many fangirls scream hysterically at the sight of intimate Jaesu action.
Jaejoong had even consoled Junsu openly, it takes a long time to recover, you can’t force yourself to return soon, during one of their MC talks. To this, Yoochun rolled his eyes and chose to pretend he hadn’t seen a thing while trying to mask his true emotions.
Even though Yoochun had gotten one over Jaejoong during Box In The Ship by singing “Stupid Junsu”, the latter had refused to acknowledge it by giving no reaction unlike before, which left him both perplexed and disappointed.
Park Yoochun, calm down, he had told himself, Jaejoong’s doing this just because he has experienced this before. He’s not interested in Junsu, he’s interested in Yunho. Yunjae, Yunjae, Yunjae coupling, not Jaesu! He chants, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible.
Now, they are halfway through Kiss The Baby Sky, and Yoochun catches Jaejoong looking at Junsu again, he thinks maddeningly, and smoke threatens to come out of his nose as he sees Junsu waving good-naturedly back to Jaejoong, who beams widely at him over his mic.
Then he looks further out and sees Yunho shooting a glance at him. What’s your problem? Their gazes met, and Yoochun purses his lips, Nothing.
Changmin joins their silent body-language conversation and huffs. Can’t you see, Yunho? He’s obviously jealous.
Yunho breaks out into a large grin, which he conveniently directs at some fangirls to hide the fact that he was smiling at Changmin. Indeed, Minnie, you’re right. How could I have missed that?
Yoochun sends a death glare over to the both of them and proceeds to his part. “My Hero, my Max, my U-Know,” then pauses, before singing sensually, “My Xiah.”
Changmin has an expression of disgust and incredulity at Yoochun’s voice while Yunho tries to hide his amusement.
***
9.33pm, Bolero.
The phrase pops into his head randomly. So randomly that Yoochun wonders what has gone wrong with his brain, fallen angel with broken wings. Perhaps it’s the atmosphere that’s getting him all sentimental, but he knows, he’s not the only one. Jaejoong is closing his eyes, while Changmin and Yunho are looking over at Junsu as the lights dim, and the first notes of Bolero starts.
Junsu does something that surprises them all - he stands up, albeit unsteadily, but he stands up.
Yami ni ukabu tsuki no stage ni odoru kimi wo yume mitanda
In my dreams I saw you dancing on the moon’s stage in the dark
A single spotlight shines on Junsu as he sings, his voice pure and sweet, the vibrato sending shivers down every listener’s spine. Yoochun cannot bear to tear his eyes away from the lone figure as he sings his next line, joined by Yunho’s deep voice faithfully.
fukai fukai mune no kizu wo hitotsu hitotsu se owanaide
Don’t try to carry the burden of all the deep deep wounds in your chest alone
dare mo kimi wo semeyashinai kimi wa kimi de ireba ii sa
No one can blame you, it’s ok if you be yourself
kikasete itoshiku hakanaku tsubasaki de kanaderu bolero
Let me hear the lovely, fleeting wings of the bolero playing
maiagare kimi no kanashimi mo iyasareru basho ni mitsukeru sa
Soar high, you will discover a place that will even heal your sadness
Jaejoong’s voice follows the uplifts in the tune and he brings a hand to his chest as he sings, a habit which Junsu has as well. All eyes are focused on the middle man on stage whose beautiful vocals moulds into a perfect melody with the music and Changmin’s high notes, concentration written and blended into their souls.
kurai heya no naka mitasareru omoi mado kara afure
The emotions that fill up the dark room overflow from the window
yume ga tsunoru tsuki hikari no shita kamoshara ni kibou no rhythm wo kizamu
The moon’s light invites dreams giving rise to the hopes engraved in the rhythm
yume ga tsunoru
Inviting dreams
Yunho and Changmin’s voices melt away and are taken over by Junsu’s, filled with intensity and anticipation, this is his moment, this is his stage, this is … Xiah Junsu.
kimi ga kimi rashii no wa jiyuu ni habataku kara
Since you appear to flap your wings freely
daremo shirukoto no nai kotae sagashite
No one knows the answer you search for
He belts the last note out in succession, head thrown back, voice to the heavens, like never before -
kikasete itoshiku hakanaku tsuba saki de kanaderu bolero
Let me hear the lovely, fleeting wings of the bolero playing
maiagare kimi no kanashimi mo iyasareru basho ni mitsukeru sa
Soar high, you will discover a place that will even heal your sadness
Five voices, harmonising flawlessly, wholly; five figures, casting long shadows under the spotlights; five hearts, beating as one; five souls, together, forever, as TVXQ.
Oh～
Let you dance away
Don't you know yeah～
I stand by your side
Yeah～
Fly away Fly away Fly away fly to the top
Fly forever
Yeah～
Yoochun is misty-eyed and has to remind himself of the horrific consequences if he bursts out into tears again to control himself. Breathing deeply to steady himself, he fixates his eyes on Junsu, who now returns his gaze evenly as they sing to each other, and Yoochun sees that his eyes are bright and red-rimmed. The five of them are now absorbed in their world, their only world, though none of them are looking at each other. The stage does not exist anymore, nor do their fans; they are singing to their hearts, they are singing for themselves.
itsumademo
Eternally
kimi wo terashi tsuzukeru yo
I will continue shining on you
mimamoru yo
Watching over attentively
kimi no aisubeki mirai wo
For your admired future
doko ni itte mo
Wherever you go
boku wa negai tsuzukeru yo
I continue to hope
mamoru kara
I will protect you
They launch into the second chorus, and the finale of the night, eyes sparkling with tears and bodies glistening with sweat, the intensity written on each of their faces as they pour all they have into the melodious words, their brows creased and their limbs tensed. The only thing that is visibly moving, are their voices.
kikasete mabushiku setsunaku jounetsu de kirameki bolero
Listen well, to the radiating, lonely, passionately sparkling bolero
kimi wa kesshite hitori ja nai kara
You are definitely not alone
inochi no kagiri mai agare
As long as you are alive, fly!
As the music slows to an end, the four members turn unanimously to look at Junsu as Jaejoong half-murmurs the last verse with feeling.
kimi no ibasho wa koko ni aru.
This is the place where you belong
This is where Xiah Junsu belongs.
He closes his eyes as a lone tear runs its course down his cheek.
Thank you.
***
10.51pm
Junsu has trouble slipping out of his jeans in the corner while everyone else is clearing up. Jaejoong and Yunho are nowhere to be seen, and Changmin is talking animatedly with one of their crew about the concert. And there’s Yoochun, who is searching for something around the dressing room. Surveying the two men opposite him, Junsu decides on Yoochun to help him and calls him over, surprising the composer in the middle of his actions.
What are you looking for? Junsu asks, and Yoochun scratches his head, my black beanie, the recent one I bought. Junsu nods and replies, I’ll tell you where it is if you help me with my jeans.
Yoochun gulps noticeably, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in his throat. H-Help you with your jeans?
Yes, Junsu states patiently, I need to change into something more comfortable before we leave. And, Junsu adds, I don’t want Changmin to do it. He remembers the time he asked Changmin to hand him the soap in the shower and the younger man doubled over in a fit of giggles.
Yoochun swallows again. Alright. Leaning in nearer to the seated man, he undoes Junsu’s zip and pulls the denim down, trying not to stare at a very private area. His hair brushes against Junsu’s forehead as he looks back up and Junsu’s head moves a fraction of an inch forward -
Their lips brush lightly together in a butterfly kiss.
It clouds Yoochun’s senses until he sees Junsu’s furiously-blushing face in front of his, his cheeks a burning red and looking everywhere, anywhere, but at Yoochun -
Bringing a hand up to cup Junsu’s chin, he makes the younger look into his eyes again as Yoochun presses his lips to his, this time, deeper, loving, tender.
kimi no ibasho wa koko ni aru.
This is the place where you belong.
***
ft. Yoosu pairing; Kim Junsu, Park Yoochun, OT5
2803 words.
08.56pm.
Yoochun sees him fall in a wide arc, gracefully, yet comically at the same time.
And laughs it off silently, expecting him to land right on that duck butt of his and stand up rubbing it with a wounded expression on his face like before.
He would never have imagined the dull thud as bone hit the wooden-tiled rehearsal floor in a sickening way.
And instantly, Yoochun knows that Junsu is hurt. Badly.
Panic rises in his throat.
Junsu, Junsu. Junsu, are you okay, Junsu - In a flash, Yunho is there with Jaejoong at his side, checking over the younger member’s foot. Changmin is all hands and feet suddenly; rooted helplessly to the ground. Yoochun does not need to step any closer to notice the weary face turning two shades paler as Junsu tries to get up on his feet. Pushing past Yunho and Jaejoong, he places an arm around the younger and attempts to help him up. His white wife-beater is soaked with sweat from his efforts of perfecting the 9095 dance but he smells so close to Yoochun, so close that he could brush his lips against his.
A second shock hits him like a bolt of lightning when he sees the tears in Junsu’s eyes.
H-Hyung … Junsu mutters weakly, I don’t think I can stand up.
His sentence frightens Yoochun beyond all logical thinking. Fear engulfs his insides and turns them to ice. Yoochun is afraid that he might actually throw up on Junsu.
Jaejoong’s expression is one of horror and shock combined; and is reflected in the other members’ faces. Junsu, their beloved mood-maker of Dong Bang Shin Ki, the one who kept them smiling at their worst; Junsu, the one who never complained and was always polite; Junsu, the one who never allowed any mistakes on his part on stage and offstage; Junsu, the one who showed no sign of weakness and hung on even though he was breaking down on the inside; Junsu, the one who remained smiling and cracking gags even though they were all worn-out and on the edge of collapse.
Junsu, their bright dolphin boy, their source of joy and smiles, their stanchion during performances whose humanly-perfect voice steadied all of them.
Junsu is blinking away his tears furiously, trying not to show his disappointment and anger at himself for making that intolerable mistake that hurt so bad. He brushes off Yoochun’s arm with a clammy hand and takes a step; but plummets to the ground again, facedown.
Everyone now realises the extent of his injury and the world is thrown momentarily off-balance.
Yunho shouts for their manager in a frenzy and Changmin looks at Jaejoong, who now has his arm around Junsu’s and is trying to comfort Junsu with his mellifluous words and fierce resolution set into his beautiful features, It’s okay, Su, it’s okay , just relax now, don’t worry about the performance, you need to rest -
No! Yoochun hears Junsu’s agonised shout, No, Hyung, I need to stand on that stage, I need to, I’m part of Dong Bang Shin Ki, Jaejoong, I have to perform, I’m Xiah Junsu, Xiah Junsu -
His incoherent words are cut off as Jaejoong clutches him to his chest in a tight embrace.
Changmin’s face twists, several emotions flitting across them at once - Anger, sadness, misery, pain. Clenching his fists and scrunching up his face, Changmin stomps out of the rehearsal room and Yoochun hears a choked sob.
Yoochun feels the ache reflected in his heart as tears run freely down his cheeks.
***
10.03pm.
All rehearsals are paused as their manager, literally bawling upon seeing Junsu’s injury, had demanded tearfully that they all get a break while he takes Junsu for a check-up.
And they have been there since. Frozen in their places, each thinking about different things and yet the same thing at the same time.
The clock is ticking incessantly away and it’s beginning to really bother all of them, Yoochun thinks, as he rubs his temples, trying to will away a headache.
Yunho is pacing up and down in their meeting room, folding his hands behind his back. Jaejoong is seated in one of the chairs, gnawing worriedly on one of his knuckles while Changmin is sprawled all over the long wooden desk, his expression blank and Yoochun wants badly to go over to comfort their youngest member but he has no more room in his heart and no more worry to spare for Changmin at the moment.
Suddenly the door creak open, signaling their manager’s return. The four in the room leap up and stare fixatedly at the figures that appear. They are utterly crushed when they see Junsu on a wheelchair, his expression unreadable as he has on his dark sunglasses which he bought back in Korea (and Yoochun had once teased him about) and their manager, whose shoulders are slumped.
Their fate is announced as their manager opens his mouth to speak.
We will cancel the concert. Junsu is unfit to perform tomorrow night.
***
11.17pm.
Junsu, my boy, don’t be stubborn, please -
My decision is final. Manager-hyung, please, let’s not disappoint our fans. Especially those who have come from far away just to catch a glimpse of us. I would never be able to take it if I was a fan and they told me the concert was cancelled. Please, hyung. I promise you that I will do nothing but sing my heart out.
The other four members wait with bated breaths. Their manager has his head in his hands for several minutes before speaking again.
Alright. We will arrange for Junsu to be on a wheelchair on stage. We may have to modify several parts of the performance to accommodate Junsu’s injury … But the concert will go on as usual.
All five of them visibly relax and Yunho goes over to hug Junsu, murmuring in his ear, you naughty boy. You better get well soon before I break your back, with his slight Jeonryeodo accent.
Junsu smiles his trademark grin, a wide smile that is too blinding to Yoochun’s eyes.
Jaejoong envelops both Yunho and Junsu in his arms wordlessly, and Changmin joins in the group hug, not forgetting to tease Junsu, Does this mean your soccer ball’s mine for two months, now, hyung? and earns a clunk on the head, making the two elder members chuckle.
Yoochun doesn’t know what to feel as he makes eye contact with Junsu, who gestures for him to join them. He moves forward slowly. The three make space for him and he brings first one arm, then both arms, around them, feeling the warmth from their bodies spread to his heart and dissolving the fear and worry, bit by bit, replacing it with a strength and hope that only they could give.
Dong Bang Shin Ki, fighting! Xiah Junsu, fighting!
***
4th May 2009, Kobe World Memorial Hall, 9.21pm.
Once again, Yoochun glances over at Junsu, who is clapping delightedly to the lively beat of the song, his bright smile dazzling as usual. Down below the stage, fans are screaming their names wildly, waving their glowsticks in a sea of red.
Tonight, even though they had put in more effort than usual to make up for the loss of Junsu’s participation in their dance songs, they had been inevitably distracted and affected by Junsu’s injury. Jaejoong had messed up at the start and had to scramble onto the platform; then later on, he accidentally fluffed up a line during Stand By U. Yoochun himself forgot a line during Wasurenaide and even Yunho, Yunho, their leader, made a mistake on their positions.
It was all because of Junsu, Yoochun grumbles, if that stupid idiot hadn’t injured himself, we wouldn’t be like this now. And what further fueled his anger and jealousy was that Jaejoong had offered earlier to be Junsu’s guardian for the night, pushing his wheelchair around during slow songs, placing both arms on Junsu’s shoulders, which made many fangirls scream hysterically at the sight of intimate Jaesu action.
Jaejoong had even consoled Junsu openly, it takes a long time to recover, you can’t force yourself to return soon, during one of their MC talks. To this, Yoochun rolled his eyes and chose to pretend he hadn’t seen a thing while trying to mask his true emotions.
Even though Yoochun had gotten one over Jaejoong during Box In The Ship by singing “Stupid Junsu”, the latter had refused to acknowledge it by giving no reaction unlike before, which left him both perplexed and disappointed.
Park Yoochun, calm down, he had told himself, Jaejoong’s doing this just because he has experienced this before. He’s not interested in Junsu, he’s interested in Yunho. Yunjae, Yunjae, Yunjae coupling, not Jaesu! He chants, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible.
Now, they are halfway through Kiss The Baby Sky, and Yoochun catches Jaejoong looking at Junsu again, he thinks maddeningly, and smoke threatens to come out of his nose as he sees Junsu waving good-naturedly back to Jaejoong, who beams widely at him over his mic.
Then he looks further out and sees Yunho shooting a glance at him. What’s your problem? Their gazes met, and Yoochun purses his lips, Nothing.
Changmin joins their silent body-language conversation and huffs. Can’t you see, Yunho? He’s obviously jealous.
Yunho breaks out into a large grin, which he conveniently directs at some fangirls to hide the fact that he was smiling at Changmin. Indeed, Minnie, you’re right. How could I have missed that?
Yoochun sends a death glare over to the both of them and proceeds to his part. “My Hero, my Max, my U-Know,” then pauses, before singing sensually, “My Xiah.”
Changmin has an expression of disgust and incredulity at Yoochun’s voice while Yunho tries to hide his amusement.
***
9.33pm, Bolero.
The phrase pops into his head randomly. So randomly that Yoochun wonders what has gone wrong with his brain, fallen angel with broken wings. Perhaps it’s the atmosphere that’s getting him all sentimental, but he knows, he’s not the only one. Jaejoong is closing his eyes, while Changmin and Yunho are looking over at Junsu as the lights dim, and the first notes of Bolero starts.
Junsu does something that surprises them all - he stands up, albeit unsteadily, but he stands up.
Yami ni ukabu tsuki no stage ni odoru kimi wo yume mitanda
In my dreams I saw you dancing on the moon’s stage in the dark
A single spotlight shines on Junsu as he sings, his voice pure and sweet, the vibrato sending shivers down every listener’s spine. Yoochun cannot bear to tear his eyes away from the lone figure as he sings his next line, joined by Yunho’s deep voice faithfully.
fukai fukai mune no kizu wo hitotsu hitotsu se owanaide
Don’t try to carry the burden of all the deep deep wounds in your chest alone
dare mo kimi wo semeyashinai kimi wa kimi de ireba ii sa
No one can blame you, it’s ok if you be yourself
kikasete itoshiku hakanaku tsubasaki de kanaderu bolero
Let me hear the lovely, fleeting wings of the bolero playing
maiagare kimi no kanashimi mo iyasareru basho ni mitsukeru sa
Soar high, you will discover a place that will even heal your sadness
Jaejoong’s voice follows the uplifts in the tune and he brings a hand to his chest as he sings, a habit which Junsu has as well. All eyes are focused on the middle man on stage whose beautiful vocals moulds into a perfect melody with the music and Changmin’s high notes, concentration written and blended into their souls.
kurai heya no naka mitasareru omoi mado kara afure
The emotions that fill up the dark room overflow from the window
yume ga tsunoru tsuki hikari no shita kamoshara ni kibou no rhythm wo kizamu
The moon’s light invites dreams giving rise to the hopes engraved in the rhythm
yume ga tsunoru
Inviting dreams
Yunho and Changmin’s voices melt away and are taken over by Junsu’s, filled with intensity and anticipation, this is his moment, this is his stage, this is … Xiah Junsu.
kimi ga kimi rashii no wa jiyuu ni habataku kara
Since you appear to flap your wings freely
daremo shirukoto no nai kotae sagashite
No one knows the answer you search for
He belts the last note out in succession, head thrown back, voice to the heavens, like never before -
kikasete itoshiku hakanaku tsuba saki de kanaderu bolero
Let me hear the lovely, fleeting wings of the bolero playing
maiagare kimi no kanashimi mo iyasareru basho ni mitsukeru sa
Soar high, you will discover a place that will even heal your sadness
Five voices, harmonising flawlessly, wholly; five figures, casting long shadows under the spotlights; five hearts, beating as one; five souls, together, forever, as TVXQ.
Oh～
Let you dance away
Don't you know yeah～
I stand by your side
Yeah～
Fly away Fly away Fly away fly to the top
Fly forever
Yeah～
Yoochun is misty-eyed and has to remind himself of the horrific consequences if he bursts out into tears again to control himself. Breathing deeply to steady himself, he fixates his eyes on Junsu, who now returns his gaze evenly as they sing to each other, and Yoochun sees that his eyes are bright and red-rimmed. The five of them are now absorbed in their world, their only world, though none of them are looking at each other. The stage does not exist anymore, nor do their fans; they are singing to their hearts, they are singing for themselves.
itsumademo
Eternally
kimi wo terashi tsuzukeru yo
I will continue shining on you
mimamoru yo
Watching over attentively
kimi no aisubeki mirai wo
For your admired future
doko ni itte mo
Wherever you go
boku wa negai tsuzukeru yo
I continue to hope
mamoru kara
I will protect you
They launch into the second chorus, and the finale of the night, eyes sparkling with tears and bodies glistening with sweat, the intensity written on each of their faces as they pour all they have into the melodious words, their brows creased and their limbs tensed. The only thing that is visibly moving, are their voices.
kikasete mabushiku setsunaku jounetsu de kirameki bolero
Listen well, to the radiating, lonely, passionately sparkling bolero
kimi wa kesshite hitori ja nai kara
You are definitely not alone
inochi no kagiri mai agare
As long as you are alive, fly!
As the music slows to an end, the four members turn unanimously to look at Junsu as Jaejoong half-murmurs the last verse with feeling.
kimi no ibasho wa koko ni aru.
This is the place where you belong
This is where Xiah Junsu belongs.
He closes his eyes as a lone tear runs its course down his cheek.
Thank you.
***
10.51pm
Junsu has trouble slipping out of his jeans in the corner while everyone else is clearing up. Jaejoong and Yunho are nowhere to be seen, and Changmin is talking animatedly with one of their crew about the concert. And there’s Yoochun, who is searching for something around the dressing room. Surveying the two men opposite him, Junsu decides on Yoochun to help him and calls him over, surprising the composer in the middle of his actions.
What are you looking for? Junsu asks, and Yoochun scratches his head, my black beanie, the recent one I bought. Junsu nods and replies, I’ll tell you where it is if you help me with my jeans.
Yoochun gulps noticeably, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in his throat. H-Help you with your jeans?
Yes, Junsu states patiently, I need to change into something more comfortable before we leave. And, Junsu adds, I don’t want Changmin to do it. He remembers the time he asked Changmin to hand him the soap in the shower and the younger man doubled over in a fit of giggles.
Yoochun swallows again. Alright. Leaning in nearer to the seated man, he undoes Junsu’s zip and pulls the denim down, trying not to stare at a very private area. His hair brushes against Junsu’s forehead as he looks back up and Junsu’s head moves a fraction of an inch forward -
Their lips brush lightly together in a butterfly kiss.
It clouds Yoochun’s senses until he sees Junsu’s furiously-blushing face in front of his, his cheeks a burning red and looking everywhere, anywhere, but at Yoochun -
Bringing a hand up to cup Junsu’s chin, he makes the younger look into his eyes again as Yoochun presses his lips to his, this time, deeper, loving, tender.
kimi no ibasho wa koko ni aru.
This is the place where you belong.
***