leave out all the rest
yoochun/junsu, changmin/junsu, yunho/jaejoong, yoochun/jaejoong, yunho/junsu
angst, action, drama, romance, chaptered, 1928 words, pg.
summary: breakups aren't always as simple as they look.
a/n: for the people who remember me, and for those who are still waiting <3 expect the unexpected.
He could smell the familiar scent of grass under his feet.
“Yah, Kim Junsu, go and pick up the ball!” Came a shout from far behind him. Without thinking twice, he chased after the rolling soccer ball, only to have it intercepted and thrown far off in the distance. Again, he pursued it fervently, but whenever he got close to it, the ball would be kicked high up and away, drawing a wide arc in the air.
He grew afraid. Why couldn’t he get close?
He wanted to protest, but someone pushed him hard and he fell, headfirst, into a gaping black hole that consumed him with everlasting darkness …
He awoke with a fright, clutching at his heaving chest, cold sweat running down his back. The chills from the nightmare still haunted him and his palms were clammy. Flipping over in bed, a broad back filled his vision, but it was unable to give any form of comfort like it was expected to. He lay back down with his eyes wide open, knowing that it was going to be another sleepless night.
Gone were the nights where he would wake up in the other man’s arms that circled him protectively, his warmth banishing all tendrils of his fear. Now, an invisible line separated the both of them and no matter what he did, Junsu could not trespass that unseen boundary.
***
When Junsu stepped out of the bathroom, he caught a whiff of smoke and wrinkled his nose in discomfort. The other man was lounging in the couch, a cigarette between his long fingers. “Yunho-hyung, you should quit smoking.”
“I need the inspiration,” he replied, puffing on the thin stick gracefully before stubbing it out on the ashtray. “I’ll be flying to Paris in the afternoon for a photo shoot, so I won’t be back in a few days.”
“Oh.” To Junsu, this was already nothing new. Yunho was the perfect bachelor; he had the looks, the figure and a glamorous occupation of a model while he was only a starving artist trying to survive on the caricature that he drew for a local magazine. Sometimes he wondered why Yunho was so persistent in staying with him when he had the means to live the good life, but he knew better than to ask. Their fragile relationship did not allow him to question the decisions that Yunho made; only to accept them meekly.
“By the way, a friend of mine needs your help.” Yunho remarked casually.
“Me?” It caught Junsu off guard. He did not know many of Yunho’s friends while he had a small social circle himself.
“I’ll be going off to Paris, so I can’t do him the favour. He’s a freelance photographer,” Yunho continued, “And he needs someone to model for him for his competition entry.”
“I - I don’t think I’m up to it,” Junsu hadn’t the slightest idea about modeling.
“That’s what I thought so too. But apparently he’s desperate, and I couldn’t say no to an old friend like him. Here, call him when you’re free. I’ll have to set off soon.” Yunho handed him a name card.
Park Yoochun, it read.
Junsu scanned it twice before stuffing it deep into his pocket. Right now, sending Yunho off was more important. This could wait.
***
He drove all the way down to the address that Park Yoochun had sent him. After Yunho’s departure, Junsu felt abnormally free, as if he had all the time in the world to do whatever he liked. It was a 20 minute drive, and Junsu killed the engine in front of a small, glass-paneled house.
The glass was dark-tinted. Interesting, Junsu thought. Perhaps it was in his sensitive nature to overanalyze things, but he could tell Park Yoochun was a private, or otherwise an insecure person. The tinted glass allowed the people inside to see everything clearly, but all the people outside could see were dark outlines of things.
Stepping up to the doorway, he moved to ring the doorbell, until he realised that the door was unlocked and slightly ajar.
“Hello?” Junsu called, pushing the wooden door open.
This house seemed empty; there were only basic furniture and huge photographs that decorated the walls, all depicting one man. Junsu reached out to touch one of the photographs of a grinning young man with his back to a magnificent glowing sunset. He could see the sparkle of the man’s eyes, but there was something cool within his dark orbs that did not match the warmth of the sun behind him. Moving on to trace the next photograph of the same man, Junsu discovered that the sparkle was now gone from his eyes, and his face looked more downcast, his originally bright blonde hair a molten black, despite the same smile that was plastered on his lips. In the bottom right hand corner of the photograph, Jaejoong, 13th April, Hong Kong was scrawled in black felt ink.
Jaejoong, 8th May, Paris. Jaejoong, 1st June, Jaejoong, Jaejoong, Jaejoong … Junsu saw that the same name was repeated over and over again on the various photographs. It was obvious to him that Jaejoong and Park Yoochun shared an intimate relationship. Somehow he felt envious of this Jaejoong person in the photographs. To have someone who loved you so much that he would take care to pen down all the bits and pieces of the memories that you both shared …
“Hi.” A voice startled Junsu out of his thoughts. Turning around hastily, he smoothed down the sides of his hair and stammered a reply. “H-Hi.”
“You must be Kim Junsu? Thanks for coming down, I’m Park Yoochun.” The other man handed Junsu an intricate mug of green tea, the long sleeves of his yellow sweater brushing against Junsu’s pale wrist. “I see that you’ve met Jaejoong,” Yoochun commented, gesturing to the photos on the wall.
“Uh …” Junsu began awkwardly, but Yoochun stated plainly, “Kim Jaejoong’s my lover.”
“Oh. Right.” Junsu felt the envy rising again. Yunho was a stark contrast to Yoochun; he disliked being open board about their relationship.
“I heard Yunho’s overseas? I’m sorry for the trouble,” Yoochun did not really sound sorry at all to Junsu’s ears, but he couldn’t help noticing the long, slender fingers that were fiddling with the expensive looking camera around his neck. They looked thin, but strong … the perfect lover fingers, Junsu thought in a daze. It would feel good just to hold his hands, unlike Yunho’s, whose hands crushed his all the time.
“Look, I’m not sure if I can do this. I mean, I’m not a professional model- ” Junsu’s rants were stopped short by a scrutinising look from the other man and he gulped.
“You’re perfect.”
***
The smell of mild lavender wafted lazily in the otherwise empty studio. Junsu was at ease as he watched Yoochun rearrange the curtains to allow some afternoon sun into the dim room. Settling into a comfortable position by one of the windows, he felt unnaturally peaceful, basking in the warm sunlight flitting across his face.
“Now, all I need you to do is to forget my presence. Forget everything that surrounds you now, plunge yourself deep into your own thoughts. Can you do that for me?” Yoochun peered out from behind his lens.
Junsu fidgeted with his fingers. “I can try.”
Closing his eyes, he concentrated on nothing but the sensations that he could pick up with his other senses. There was a clock ticking in the next room, probably one of those old-fashioned ones with elaborate engravings … and outside, birds chirped, taking flight into the sky … along with the occasional car that honked, accompanied by loud noisy techno music … probably the average teenager with his bunch of friends going out for a spin with their windows rolled down all the way …
He was having the same dream again, chasing after the same soccer ball that no one else seemed to be running after except him. Below his feet, the grass stretched on eternally, and his steps gradually slowed. Seeing the endless black hole gaping underneath, Junsu braced himself for the fall, but there was a warm grip on his shoulder that he couldn’t shake off …
“Mr. Kim? Kim Junsu? Junsu?” He opened his eyes to Yoochun’s concerned face. “Are you feeling alright?”
“My apologies, Mr. Park, I must have fallen asleep.” Junsu rubbed his eyes.
“It’s okay; I’m done with my photographs anyway. Please, call me Yoochun.”
Junsu got up to his feet, dusting himself off. Unceremoniously, his phone rang, disrupting the tranquil atmosphere in Yoochun’s studio. Glancing briefly at the caller id, Junsu did not hesitate before picking up Yunho’s call.
“Junsu, where are you? I called our home but nobody answered.” Yunho sounded slightly panicked over the phone.
“I’m at Yoochun’s, like you told me to.” Junsu replied, eyes on Yoochun who was scanning through the photographs on his camera.
“Yoochun’s? I see that you’ve made a new friend,” Yunho’s tone was sour.
“He’s just an acquaintance.” Junsu tried to explain, but Yunho cut him short.
“What you do with him has nothing to do with me. Just remember that I’m coming back in 2 days time.”
“Wait!” Too late, Yunho hung up curtly and a monotonous beep was left ringing in Junsu’s ears. His eyes filled with hurt as he tucked his phone away slowly in his pocket. They had been together for two years, but they did not share trust the way other couples did. Yunho was a very guarded person, and no matter what he did, Junsu could not undo the knot in his heart.
Outside, the sun was setting, but Junsu was no longer in any mood to continue enjoying the beautiful moment.
“I’m guessing you might need this?” This time, it was not green tea, but red wine dangling in front of his face.
“Thanks.” Junsu accepted the glass and sank down on the wooden floor, taking a small sip. Yoochun watched him closely, echoing his moves. Maybe it was Yoochun’s presence, or maybe it was the atmosphere, or the wine that calmed Junsu.
“I’m not exactly close with Yunho, but I can tell that he’s not easy to get along with. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get together?” Yoochun probed without heat.
“I knew him since we were kids. Back then, Yunho was never like this; he was dependable, likeable and extremely diligent. After we graduated, he left for Seoul and I didn’t meet him till I moved here for job opportunities. But he wasn’t the Yunho I knew and liked anymore.” Junsu spoke.
“He changed, didn’t he?” It was Junsu’s turn to look at Yoochun, but the latter did not elaborate on his comment.
“I know the signs too well. When your lover changes, it only means that he has moved on from your relationship. First, he starts to get very busy with his work. Then he stops being intimate with you, and gets paranoid when you’ve with other men.” Yoochun stated matter-of-factly, not noticing that Junsu had paled.
“I’m sorry. I have to leave.” Junsu nearly upset his glass of wine as he stood up rapidly.
“I can tell from your eyes that you don’t believe me, but trust me, you’ll be back soon, Kim Junsu.” Yoochun wore a knowing look that chilled Junsu suddenly.
“Goodbye, Mr. Park.” Without another word, Junsu left Yoochun’s house, dark-tinted windows reflected on his car’s rearview mirror until he stepped on the accelerator.
***