Why I Think It's Not Okay

Dec 19, 2011 20:47

Recently on twitter, Flye brought up the subject of casual references to obesity, and people being fat, when used as the subject of a humour anecdote, or comment ( Read more... )

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flye December 19 2011, 13:09:11 UTC
I agree.

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tidus_au December 19 2011, 13:15:47 UTC
After going through your comment i have come to several conclusions of my own ( ... )

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flye December 19 2011, 13:36:07 UTC
Thanks Tidus, it means a lot that you apologised.

A main reason behind me writing the post was to unpack why what she said affected me so strongly. I knew that it was wrong of her to say it, but I wanted to be able to articulate it. I enjoy critical thinking and studying things like this and I felt like I had to write it down in order to express it properly.

I was hurt by what she said, but didn't feel it was the right time to bring it up, given that we were at work. I did feel like she said it without thinking about how it would affect me and others around us. And perhaps if I showed her the post, it would help her to realise not to speak so flippantly about it.

We're constantly bombarded with messages about how our bodies 'should' look by society and the media, so I think it's pretty reasonable to ask our friends to give us a break from that sometimes.

Thanks mate.

PS. Darky's comments didn't help. :P

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tidus_au December 19 2011, 13:46:10 UTC
I know the media and public portray the message that you must be thin to be normal, and you arent the only one to feel that way.

Personally sometimes i question my bf when he says i look beautiful because of years of self loathing on myself, i cant see it, i guess you can say over the years i have just gotten used to it and stopped caring about others opinions, but if it was someone i trusted even a co-worker because you have let your guard down, such as your situation it would make me also feel terrible.

I just hope my earlier ill thought out comments havent branded me in a negative way as thats not who i am or what i stand for.

Again im sorry and i retract all my earlier comments as that isnt me.

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tidus_au December 19 2011, 13:22:51 UTC
On the topic of acceptance of being a homosexual i still find it saddening that i for one cannot reveal my amazing boyfriend to my co-workers as fear of revult, i have seen their actions and comments towards same sex couples and it is sickening.

I would love nothing less to be able to confront them about it, but then i would be shunned for my opinion, its a situation i want to change but cannot.

Like you i dream of a day when my boyfreind and i can act as a "normal" couple in public without fear, but until the stigma of not liking the other sex goes away we shall be different in their eyes

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joss_phaux December 19 2011, 13:51:42 UTC
I agree with you completely. But there's not one person who hasn't done what you've said and we'll all inadvertently to it at some point or another. I've done it to you, you've done it to me, Flye and I have done it to each other and we'll all do it to each other accidentally in the future. It's always going to happen, unfortunately. All you can do is try to stop it happening, I guess, as much as you can. I don't see the point in tearing someone's head off for it though, or letting it slide. Polite words would be the best, but I don't think we should be living in a world where we're constantly treading on eggshells about what can and can't be said.

(PS sorry for comments about gym stuff :p )

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