It's my birthday today. . I haven't had a fun birthday in a decade. . I plan to watch cartoons. I'm trying to progress in my life, although I have no idea what it is I'm trying to do ( Read more... )

going to a con. . . I feel, possibly more prepared than I've ever been for a con before, but I'm not expecting to enjoy it very much ( Read more... )

I've been trying to clean my house. . going through old boxes. Things that belonged to my dad. Presents we had given him. Letters and card, and photographs that I can't remember ( Read more... )

I had a weird dream. I was, on the starship enterprise. It explored a strange space anomoly, and the ship was taken over by an ancient civilization that had died out. Some of the crew lost their sense of respect for the command structure. Lost adrift, in the center of the anomoly was a planet, surrounded by what must have been a great army at one ( Read more... )

I hurt. I hurt too much to want to be classified as a living being. Gradually, thinking about what feeling better could be start to melt away. Slowly there's just clay surfaces, slowly melting into the ether.

It feels like it's been a while since I've had a really awesome dream ( Read more... )

It seems like too much time had passed by. I was here recovering from injuries and disease. I was sure I was getting better, but in some ways it seems like it didn't matter anymore. Fall had stuck the land, like the turning of a page. The orange light making the day feel like it never happens. Inside, I was having dreams about winter. It seemed ( Read more... )

want to write things, but it's like everything is washed away before I get the chance ( Read more... )

Hurts. Keep hoping that things will become better. I don't know what that would feel like anymore. Fighting for something I can't imagine anymore. Trying to hold something, and everything feels like some force lashing out and injuring me. I always feel so tired.

Ah!! One of the doors was pressing against a blood pressure monitor and activating it, occasionally making a noise that sounded like a doorbell. I'm asking myself "Why would anyone be ringing my doorbell at one in the morning!!?!?" Paranoid, hiding in my house, clutching a butcher knife, sneaking glances out into the darkness trying to search for a ( Read more... )